by J. Darling
She sat there, breathing and thinking, then with a big breath, she said, “First, I want to apologize for my behavior. I don’t know what’s come over me. I don’t generally behave like this, and I take pride in my ability to maintain control when under stress. So this is new for me, and I’m sorry. Second, thank you for taking care of me last night. I’m not a drinker, and I hadn’t eaten all day in my haste to get home. I had this silly idea of a big family dinner when I arrived, and…” She stopped, unable to continue. Taking another deep breath, she stood and walked to the picture window, staring out. Time passed, and they just sat there waiting for her to continue.
Then she heard her father say, “Talk to us, tell us what happened.”
Where to begin? She rubbed her eyes, and started with a rasp in her voice. “About six weeks ago, I was at work. I work in the emergency room, and was assigned to trauma that day. Part way into my shift, we received a call. A young woman shot multiple times coming in. The team prepared, we were ready. In she came, and she was struggling. I took her hand, looked her in the eye, and noticed right away that this was no young woman, this was a child of thirteen or so. I told her she was safe, and that we’d help her.
We worked with blurring speed. Her heart rate was climbing and her blood pressure plummeting. She was bleeding out. It didn’t take long to realize we were losing her. She crashed, we brought her back. She crashed again, we brought her back. Then, she was just gone, and still, we kept working on her. They called her time of death nearly an hour after she rolled through the doors. The floor was slick with her blood, and we were covered in it. As team leader, it was up to me to care for her post mortem, and complete the death checklist and paperwork.”
Pausing, she took a minute to gather her thoughts before continuing. “I was deeply affected by her loss, and managed to get off work a few hours early. It was late into the night, so I quietly let myself into the apartment Purdy and I shared, and then tiptoed to the bathroom because I desperately needed a shower. Just as I was about to turn on the light, I heard a female laugh, and a responding male rumble. I— her voice cracked—I turned on the light, only to find Purdy in bed with one of the nurses from my department. They flailed around for the covers, and I…just stood there. I couldn’t believe it. It was happening again.”
She looked down, shaking her head at the memory. “Purdy started in with some bullshit, and I just seethed with rage. When I turned to leave, I saw a bottle of champagne, and two flutes on my nightstand, and my robe was on the floor. She’d been everywhere, in my space, in my stuff. My fiery was great. I turned back and did something I’ve never done before. I cursed them. I just leveled my stare on Susan, and with serene calmness, I told her in all my seething rage, that she could expect what she’d done to me, to be done to her, as we both knew he was incapable of being faithful. Then I told her, that at the very least, I would take solace in knowing that she would never know a moment’s peace in regards to his ability to be honest and true, and that at best, I hoped the two of them would rot in hell.”
Taking a deep breath, she hardened herself. “I left, never to return again. I went to Jules’s, and the next day I put in for a leave of absence from work. I had to finish out my schedule for that period, and at first everyone thought I was leaving because of the young girl that had died, but then the news broke that Susan and Purdy were an item, and apparently had been for some time, because “woo-hoo” Susan was pregnant. It was like it was five years ago, and I… They’re getting married, and next week, she’ll be on my honeymoon.”
Filled with sadness, and with her humiliation complete, she turned from the window and looked at her father and brothers. “So there, now you know. I’m exhausted. Weary to be honest, and I came home to rest. To make amends, rest, and figure out what to do with my life. But now Nate’s here, and you won’t let me leave. I’m sorry, but I can’t watch him with Naomi and the baby. I just can’t. Don’t be cruel. Let me go.”
“Linnie, Nate says he’s not the father of Naomi’s boy,” Jake offered.
Her temper flared. “Yeah, and I’m Mary Frickin Poppins. Just because I say it, doesn’t make it true. He left. No, I stand corrected. He ran. Didn’t hang around long enough to deny it then, so why now? Huh? Why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe you should listen to what he has to say, and then ask him.”
“Jake,” she said, with tender despair. “I love you. I really do, but the dream is over. Let it go.”
Unwilling to listen, he continued, “He still loves you. His feelings for you haven’t changed.”
Taking a huge breath, she let it out slowly. “Yes,” she answered, as she looked upon him with sadness, “but mine have. Love or no love, I’m absolutely not interested in a relationship. Period.”
Her father interjected, “Baby, give it a month. If things get too bad, then yes, go, but not yet. Give it a little time. You can rest here. We’ll make it so you can get the rest you need.”
Fighting back tears, and not too proud to beg, she pleaded, “Daddy, please.”
“Trust me, sweetheart. Things will be clear after you get some rest. Please stay. We’ll help you. I promise.”
Completely defeated, and too tired to fight it, she closed her eyes. A hot tear rolled down her cheek. They didn’t understand. She’d told them everything, and they didn’t understand. How could she ever protect her heart if she were to stay here? The answer, she couldn’t.
CHAPTER 4
Nate was glad Jake wasn’t there, because if he would’ve been, he’d never let him live this down. Standing against the wall his mother had used all his life as a growth chart, she marked his height, while standing on a chair next to him. Then using him to steady herself, she jumped down and rifled through a drawer, pulling out a tape measure. “Mom!”
“Come here, baby.”
Ahhh hell, why’d she have to call him baby? “Dad, a little help here.”
Concentrating on a ledger, he said, “Suck it up. You’ve been gone five years.”
Nate stood still as his mother measured him all over. “Mama, why are you measuring my biceps and thighs?”
“So I can record it in your baby book.”
“MOM! Stop!”
“NATE! Stand still!” she mocked. “What do you think I’m doing? You need clothes for heaven’s sake. Good grief. Or do you plan on running around town in your Army uniform forever?” Stopping, she wrote down some numbers, then continued measuring some more. “I’m going to have to drive into Minneapolis to find a big and tall men’s shop. Nothing around here will have anything that’ll fit. Well, I guess they do have tarps at the hardware store, but then you’d have to be willing to show a little leg. That’d give the ladies something to talk about.” She he blew him a kiss and gave him a swat on the rear.
She thought she was so funny, Nate thought. Well, she kind of was. Turning his attention to his father, he asked, “Did you check with Ted regarding the lawyer?”
“Yeah, he’s looking into a few things, then he’s going to get back to us,” he responded without looking up.
“What are you looking at?”
His mother answered, “Inventory and things aren’t adding up at the shop. Your father’s trying to find the problem.”
“Dad, why aren’t you on computer? There are programs to help with that, and it would save time and increase efficiency.”
Looking up and giving him a big smile, his father snapped the ledger shut and said, “Great! You’re hired. Charge what you need to the business account. Get the info from Doris in the office, and have her set you up with a cell phone too.” Then reaching for another caramel roll, he was intercepted.
“Now Steven, you know what the heart doctor said. Besides, those are for the baby.” Leaning over, she gave Nate a motherly kiss on the head.
“Baby!” his father balked. “He ain’t no baby, Bev.”
Grinning, Nate grabbed the roll and said, “Suck it up, Dad, I’ve been gone five years, remember.” As he shoved
the treat in his mouth, the phone rang and he reached for it.
“Meet me at The Main Dish in ten. I’ve got info,” Jake said.
“Roger that,” Nate said, then hung up. “I’m meeting up with Jake in a few minutes. After, I’ll stop at the shop and talk with Doris.” Bending, he kissed his mom on the cheek, then opened his wallet and put five hundred dollars on the table before turning to leave. “I’ll stop at the cash machine and get more. Oh, and my shoe size, it’s a fourteen.” Laughing at the shocked look on his mother’s face as he walked out of the house, he headed for the truck.
Sliding into the booth, he set the menu aside. “Hook me, Jake.”
“Well for starters, it was one hell of a morning with Hurricane Linnie. Second, I hope you’re ready for an uphill battle. You’re going to need all your training, and then some, for this one. And third, good luck. You’re going to need it.”
“Hold up,” Nate said. “Go back to the first one. What do you mean Hurricane Linnie?” This didn’t sound right.
Whistling through his teeth, and shaking his head as he thought back on it, Jake said, “Here’s a few pointers, if you want to talk to her about something important, wait till after she’s had her morning coffee, it’ll make for less mess. And don’t pester her to eat either, she doesn’t like it. Oh, and don’t use your mothers fine china unless you’re willing to part with it.”
They paused when the waitress came and took their order.
When the coast was clear, Nate looked back at Jake. “What the hell are you going on about? You’re not making any sense. We’re talking about Linnie, right? Just start from the beginning would you.”
When Jake finished, Nate was dumbfounded. How could this happen to one person twice? His little kitten had found her temper, and used her claws, but the fight had damn near killed her. He still wanted to get his hands on that SOB, and now, the skank he’d slept with. No one deserved to be treated like that, especially Linnie.
“She wants to leave,” Jake continued. “Says she can’t be here and watch you with Naomi and the baby. I told her what you said about not being the father, but she didn’t believe it. I also told her you still loved her, and that your feelings hadn’t changed.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Nate answered, feeling a modicum of relief.
Jake shook his head. “Yeah, don’t get too excited. She basically said it didn’t matter, because she doesn’t feel the same. Oh, and something about the dream being over.”
Sitting up in alarm, Nate responded, “That’s not true. I know it’s not true. She does still love me, and the dream is far from over.”
Jake threw his hands up. “You know it. I know it. Hell, we all know it, but she doesn’t care. Says she’s absolutely not interested in a relationship, which I kind of get right about now. She has no reason to trust in men anymore. Hence, the uphill battle, and you needing all the luck you can get.”
“Nate Sanders is that you?”
Busted. “Sure is,” he said smiling. “Hi Mrs. Aker, how are you?”
“Oh my goodness. I knew it. I was just telling Gladdy and the girls that you sure looked like Nate Sanders. Your mom and dad must be tickled pink you’re home.” Turning, she gave her friends a thumbs up.
Here they came. The knitting, sewing, baking, card playing, and whatever else they could find to do Brigade. Nate smiled. It was because of people like this, that he and his fellow soldiers had felt a little bit of home, when so far away. Standing, he gave them each a hug.
“Oh my, you’re a big one,” Mrs. Aker twittered, as she looked up at him. “Your mom will have to cook enough for eight just to keep up with you. So, Jake, how’s Linnie?”
Well that wasn’t very subtle, Nate thought, getting a kick out of this bunch.
“She’s hanging in there,” Jake answered, with a knowing smile.
“Is she coming home soon? We’d love to see her,” Mrs. Aker continued.
“Ahhh, yeah,” Jake said. “She arrived yesterday.”
A collective, “Ooohhhhh,” from the Brigade, then some clucking and ruffling of feathers, before they settled on their perches for the up to date report. Their eyes glittered with anticipation. Nate had to hold back his laugh. Gladdy actually nudged him in the side, like the Brigade was workin the sitch, and getting him some dirt on the down low.
Continuing the fishing expedition, Mrs. Aker asked, “Is she just here for a quick visit, or is she staying awhile?”
At a loss for what to say, Jake shrugged and said, “You know, I’m not quite sure what her plans are.”
“Well, we sure hope to see her real soon,” Mrs. Aker gushed, as their food arrived. The Brigade nodded and clucked in agreement. “I suppose we should get going, let you boys eat your food before it gets cold, not to mention you have better things to do than sitting around chatting with us.” Another poke in the ribs from Gladdy. “It was good to see you two, and Nate, we’re glad you’re home.”
They were tripping over each other as they beat feet out of there. Nate gave it five minutes, and it would be all over town. There was an underground network operating in Luck, and the alarm had just been sounded. Looking over at Jake, they both started laughing. Then, as if they’d never been interrupted, their conversation returned to the Linnie dilemma.
“I need to talk to her, Jake.”
“Yeah, you think? That and more. Probably more important is you needing to get her to listen. Giving her proof you didn’t sleep with Naomi wouldn’t hurt either. Which, by the way, we’ve never talked about. If I’m going to help you, I need the skinny.”
“I went to a party, passed out. I didn’t sleep with her, that’s it,” Nate replied, abruptly.
“Aha, I think we’ve established that.” Jake answered, dissatisfied. “How do you know?”
“I just know,” Nate answered, looking away.
“How?” Jake pushed
Staring past Jake’s shoulder, Nate contemplated his responses. Gritting his teeth, he looked around to be sure they wouldn’t be overheard, then said, “I know, the same way you know, when you’ve been with a woman.” Staring at Jake, he let him chew on the answer.
Looking perplexed, Jake narrowed his eyes and responded, “You want to try that again. I’m not getting it.”
With a ginormous sigh, Nate looked around in irritation. Still alone. Leaning in, he quietly said, “There was no funk on my junk.”
“Ahhhh hell!” Jake threw his napkin on the plate, and leaned back in frustration. “Is that all you got? Maybe she’d just showered, was clean, or used one of those girlie products they’re always going on about in those commercials.”
Offended, Nate responded, “What do you mean, is that all I got? Yeah, it is. Pretty damn telling if you ask me.”
“Okay. Fine then,” Jake answered, with a shake of his head. “Why run? If you knew this, why didn’t you stay?”
Nate paused. Here’s the moment of truth, he thought. Answering solemnly, he said, “Because I didn’t know then, what I know now.”
“Huh? Wait. You mean…” Jake’s mouth fell open.
Looking around, and seeing they were still alone, Nate said what Jake didn’t, “Yes, I was a virgin. Linnie and I were both virgins. I never slept with your sister.” Pausing to let that little tidbit soak in, he continued in all seriousness, “Look, I went to a party, Naomi was there. We talked. I passed out. When I woke up, Naomi was next to me. She awakened when I got up to leave and asked me for a ride home. The next thing I know, she’s pregnant, and I’m supposedly the father. When her dad started throwing around statutory rape allegations, I panicked. I had this huge gap in time, and I didn’t know what happened, so I left. That’s it.”
“I would’ve gone with you. You could’ve come to me.”
Closing his eyes, he nodded in acknowledgement, then opening them, he looked at Jake and said, “I know you would’ve, but the reality of the situation was this, the best way you could help me was to be here with Linnie. I trusted you. I knew
you’d take care of her when I couldn’t.”
Jake paused for a few moments as they looked at one another, then said, “I’m sorry, Nate.”
“Me too, Jake. Me too.”
Sitting in silence for a bit, Nate spoke up, “Let’s walk down to the flower shop.”
“Now you’re talking!” Jake threw money on the table, and they were on their way. “So what’s the plan?”
“You work on delivering flowers, while I work on getting an attorney. Somewhere in between, I need to talk to Linnie, and figure out a way to get her to listen.”
**********
It was a bright, shiny, fall day, and Linnie lie staring at the salmon colored rose on her nightstand. Illuminated by the light pouring in her window, it shimmered, releasing its scent as the tight bud unfolded in the warmth of the sun’s rays. Daddy, she thought. He’d always brought her mother flowers, except then, they were always red. Putting her nose to the petals, she sighed. Heavenly, it smelled heavenly, and it was nice, really nice. The sweet gesture helped to lighten her spirits. Maybe she’d see if Bella’s Salon and Day Spa had an opening today. She could probably squeeze in a day with a little pampering. Picking up the phone, she called.
Showered and dressed, she walked into the kitchen. They were all there. Getting herself a cup of coffee, she stopped and gave her Dad a peck on the cheek. “Thanks for the flower, Daddy, I love it. It’s beautiful.”