by J. Darling
Smiling, Bev patted her hand and said, “You know, Nate would have a fit if he thought I upset you.” This caused them both to laugh. “Come on, enough of this. Let’s have lunch and work on that project. I hope you’re good with computers, because I’m kind of slow at it, but I’m learning.”
An hour later, they were joined by Gertie Aker, and Nancy Barnes. They were putting together a slideshow presentation for the Veteran’s Day program at the public school. Every year, the students of Luck School put on a program honoring veterans across the country. It was a tradition, and Linnie remembered it well. Generally, the student’s printed the names of veteran’s they wished to pay a particular acknowledgment to, on the program handouts, but this year, the hope was to have a picture show of those being honored playing at some point during the program.
“Oh, look at this one,” Gertie said, handing it to Nancy.
“Gosh, that’s a nice picture, let’s scan that one first.”
“Do you think we should put some of these smaller ones on one slide?” Bev asked. “Like, maybe two or three to a slide. We need to leave enough room to add text boxes though, so we can put in their names.”
Nancy nodded. “I think that’d be fine.”
“Linnie and I set up the scanner before you arrived. Thank goodness she was here, because I’d already forgotten what to plug in where.”
Gertie reached over and gave Linnie’s hand a squeeze. “Yes, Linnie, we’re so glad to have you home.”
“Thank you,” she responded. “It’s been good to be home.”
“Boy, am I glad to hear that,” Nancy added. “I wasn’t sure how it’d be, with the way things went five years ago and all.”
“It’s okay.” Linnie answered, feeling small.
Coming up behind her, Bev put her hand on Linnie’s shoulder, diverting the conversation by pointing to the computer screen and saying, “Now don’t we just click on that to get the scanner to go?”
Linnie nodded. “Yeah, we just need to put a picture in the scanner,” she answered, thankful for Bev’s understanding.
“Show me what to do, and I’ll do it,” Nancy offered, moving to the machine.
They spent the next several hours scanning and labeling pictures. When they’d come to the last one, Nancy stood. “Wait, there’s one more. Going to her purse, she pulled out an envelope and stopped, then just stood there staring at it without opening it or anything.
Gertie got up and went to her. “You want me to help you, Nancy?”
Nancy’s hands trembled as she passed the envelope to Gertie. Bringing it over to the scanner, Gertie opened the envelope, and placed a photo on the glass. After hitting scan, a photo popped up of a young man in fatigues holding a gun. From the looks of it, it had to be Nancy’s son. Opening the lid, Gertie took the photo out and placed it back in the envelope, then walked it over to Nancy.
“It’s still hard isn’t it?” she asked, giving Nancy a squeeze.
Nancy nodded. “I always thought that since he’d made it home from the war, everything would be alright, but it wasn’t. He was never the same. The war never ended for him, and with his coming home, the war’d just begun for us. I miss him so much.”
“I know you do,” Gertie said, “and he loved you, as much as you loved him.”
Smiling a wobbly smile, Nancy reached out and gave Gertie a hug. “Thank you for reminding me of that. I sometimes forget. I better get going, Bob will be home soon,” she answered, as she grabbed her coat. “Thank you, Bev, Linnie, it was a nice day.”
“Call me if you need to talk,” Gertie added quickly.
Nancy nodded, then walked out the door.
Turning back to them, Gertie said, “Well, I better go too. Is there anything I can do to help clean up?”
“No, were fine,” Bev answered, with a little shake of her head. “Thank you for coming. With all your help it’s mostly finished.”
“I can’t wait, I think we did our boys proud,” Gertie added, as she gave Bev a hug, and Linnie’s hand a squeeze. “Linnie, it was so good to see you. I hope you’ll want to stay a while.” Then she was gone.
What just happened? Linnie wondered. Then looking at Bev, she asked, “Is this Nancy’s son?”
Bev nodded, as she began straightening things up. “Yes, he came home from Viet Nam with severe combat trauma, PTSD, shell shock, whatever you want to call it. He struggled several years, and then one day, he ended his life. Gertie’s fiancé was killed while at war. This project is very important to the two of them. Wait here a moment.”
Bev returned carrying some photos. Placing one in the scanner, Linnie hit scan, and up popped a photo of Nate. Looking at it, she was conflicted. She felt an overwhelming sense of pride, that moved her to the point of tears, and yet she was worried, really worried. Jake had indicated that morning that Nate had been to Iraq and Afghanistan. Would he suffer like Nancy’s son had? Did he suffer now? She could barely breathe for the thought of it. Here she’d been so caught up in her own drama, she hadn’t thought about him. Is this some of what he wanted to talk about? Did he need to talk about—they really needed to talk.
Studying the photo, she noted it was like a portrait, and he was wearing his official uniform, but there was another Bev handed her, a candid snapshot. In it, Nate was dressed in fatigues, and was crouched down low with his cheek up against the side of a huge, scary looking gun. He was loaded down with a huge pack on his back, and another on his front, both bursting at the seams. She didn’t know how he could’ve possibly moved, let alone hold and aim a gun. On his head was a helmet, outfitted with what looked like some high tech binoculars, and his thighs had bands strapped around them holding more stuff within hands reach, as did the many pockets on his pants. Turning it over, it was simply labeled Sergeant Sanders. Linnie took a deep breath, not realizing she’d been holding it, then she shivered, unable to stop the tremble.
“It’s kind of scary isn’t it,” Bev whispered, as Linnie continued to stare.
Nodding rapidly, Linnie swallowed hard.
“I worry some,” Bev said softly. “It’s only been a couple days, but I’ve heard him up late into the night, but nothing else. So I hope… We better put this away. He’ll be home soon, and well, he doesn’t know we’ve seen these. I found them when I was cleaning out his room. He has yet to talk about any of it. All he’s said is that he left and joined the Army, became a Ranger, and was in Iraq and Afghanistan. Oh, and that he’s not the father of Naomi’s boy.”
“I’ll clean this up if you want to start dinner,” Linnie offered, getting up from the table, feeling weak.
“Sounds good. Will you stay and eat with us? We’re having spaghetti.”
Oh yeah, she was staying, she wanted to talk to Nate. “Sure, if it’s not too much trouble.”
Bev clucked and shook her head, as she went to the fridge. “Linnie, you’re never too much trouble. I love having you here, and besides, us girls have to stick together.”
“Thanks, Bev,” she said, with a smile. Then taking one more look at the pictures of Nate, she asked, “Where do these go?”
“Bottom drawer of his dresser, left side, under the clothes.”
Entering his room was surreal. Despite having been in it many a time, it seemed odd. Putting the photos back, she went to leave, when she noticed a picture of her on his nightstand. Her in her prom dress. Ugh, he definitely needed a new picture.
**********
The paparazzi was alive and well, and living large in Luck, Wisconsin. Nate had to laugh, no privacy here in this little town, he thought. The Knitting Brigade had set him up to meet Linnie at the gazebo, and now they had pictures to prove it. He’d been receiving text messages, with images of the two of them, on his phone ever since the swing incident. He loved these pictures, and was downloading them onto his computer. He planned on taking them to the photo department in St. Croix, and having them printed on good photo paper, then he’d get some nice picture frames to hold them in. Moving the images around
, he set them up to be a changing screensaver on his computer. He really loved the one where he was holding her up in the air, and then the one where she was finally in his arms. Sitting back, he thought about it. He’d been so worried she wouldn’t listen, but she had. He’d had to strong arm her, yes, but it was all he could think of, and it’d worked.
Closing his eyes, he recreated the moment she let go of the chains and fell into his arms, and then those church bells ringing. Then he fast forward to last night, the first full night they’d ever spent together, and he didn’t know if he could contain his joy. It had felt so good, so right, to have her there in his arms, and he'd laid awake watching her long after she’d fallen asleep. He’d almost lost her, and the thought of it now took his breath away, while making his heart race in a panic. He hated this feeling, the panic, the anxiety, the constant worry of danger, the need to be hypervigilant. Stop, he told himself, you need to stop, big breaths, deep and slow. You’re safe, and now you know she is too, big breaths. Think of Linnie, focus on Linnie, just Linnie.
It was helping. Smiling, he remembered them spooned together on the couch, and then when she’d turned to face him. She’d snuggled up close, then let out a long blissful sigh, and he’d found a tremendous amount of comfort in that. Then there was the make out session. He laughed to himself. It was like they were teenagers about to be caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing. Well, they almost had been. She was a moaner, and wasn’t that a turn on. Oh, yeah, just the thought of it now affected him. Whoa! He adjusted his pants and loosened his collar. Hell, he needed to get a place of his own. Fast.
Pulling into the driveway a few hours later, Nate was beyond pleased to see Linnie’s car still there. Walking in, he found her setting the table for supper. Going over to her, he bent and kissed her on the lips, then whispered that he’d missed her in her ear before placing a kiss, or two, on her neck. Did he have to stop, he wondered. He had to admit, he loved her hair cut like this, it left her ear, neck, and shoulder open for his perusal. Going back to her ear, he whispered “I love this hairstyle.”
She blushed. “Umm, your mom’s here,” she whispered.
“And your point is what?” he teased, as he nibbled on her neck.
She gave him a playful shove.
Chuckling low, he moved away, but not till he taunted her a little more, “Later, kitten.”
“Stop it!” she whispered, elbowing him, then promptly started rubbing her elbow.
Grabbing her arm, he brought her elbow to his lips and kissed it, then wiggled his eyebrows at her. He laughed, when she gave him a look of warning. Turning, he headed for the shower. Man, she didn’t have to do anything but breathe, and she got him going.
When he returned to the table, his dad was there. They said grace, and were enjoying the meal, when his dad turned to him and said, “Ted’s stopping over after dinner. He has some papers for you to sign, and he’s working on getting you an appointment in Minneapolis to give a sample.”
Looking at Linnie, Nate really wished they’d been able to talk about this before now. “Ted’s our family's attorney and he’s helping me obtain DNA testing,” he explained.
Focusing on her plate, she swirled around some noodles, then looked at his mother and said, “I love the spaghetti. It’s really good.” Then she took a bite, ignoring him.
Nate wanted to yell, kick something. Hell, breaking something would work. He was practically back to square one with this woman. He knew it. She’d just closed up shop, and put up the gone fishin sign. That she wouldn’t talk about this, made him bat shit crazy. Hell, he was ready to hog tie her, carry her off, and make her listen. Then he’d refuse to let her go till they talked it all out. He was so damn mad right now, he could bend his mother’s sterling with one hand.
As the meal came to a close, they cleared the table, and she washed while he dried. Once done, he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the house. Just then, Ted drove up and Nate’s temper went nuclear. “Damn it, Linnie, we have to talk!”
Ted got out of his car. “Hey, Nate.”
“Hi, Ted. Go on in, I’ll be there in a minute,” he ground out, trying to cover up his anger. Linnie was trying to get out of his grip. “Oh no you don’t.”
“Nate, let go of my hand,” she said quietly.
Awww hell, he had to let her go. Damn it! He had to get in the house. “Linnie, talk to me,” he said, as he reluctantly let her go. Walking with her to her car, he said, “Linnie?”
Turning, she looked at him and calmly said, “You better not keep your guest waiting.” Then she got in her car and drove off.
He sure hoped his mother wasn’t fond of that lawn ornament because it would be a bitch to glue back together.
CHAPTER 7
Nate and his dad were on their way to Minneapolis the next morning. He wanted this over with now. Ted had drawn up papers, and then had them delivered to Naomi three days ago. She either volunteered to a DNA sample from her son, or Nate was going to court to force the issue. She’d agreed, after letting Ted know she was so happy Nate was finally willing to acknowledge his son. Yeah right, you betcha babe. That was not his son. He was still furiously pissed. Ted had stayed a while, and by the time he left, Jake said Linnie was asleep when he’d called. It took all his control to stop from going over there and waking her up, just so they could start World War III. He’d pretty much decided there was no point in trying to talk with her until he had proof he hadn’t slept with Naomi. Fortunately, DNA testing only took about a week to complete once the samples were received, and were ninety-nine point nine percent accurate. Naomi had agreed to an appointment that afternoon.
Crossing over from Wisconsin, to Minnesota, Nate looked out the passenger window, and was shaken by the sight of a road sign on their assent up the hill. Highway 8. Oh man, he really didn’t need this right now. Closing his eyes, he tried to stop the on slot with no success. Memories inundated him. Gone were the wide open stretches of Minnesota farmland, and wholesome living. He was on a different Highway 8, and heading straight into the heart of Baghdad.
Having spent the night engaging enemy forces, there’d be no rest. The order had been given to move out. Nate’s muscles screamed for the rest, he and his platoon were being denied. Bumping and jostling along in the scorching desert heat, Nate listened to his comrade’s easy banter as they traded highlights from the fight. The consensus, none of them had ever experienced anything like it before. High from adrenalin, and the smell of victory, they congratulated themselves.
Coming upon the stretch of road they’d fought so hard to capture, he turned his head to take in his surroundings. Traversing the ruins, his Company lay witness to the carnage of war. Littered with a night’s work, the roadway proved with perfect clarity, what he was expected to do when the need arose. Various forms of death surrounded him, and its enormous stench overwhelmed his senses, forever imprinting on his mind. Bodies were everywhere. Some burned to a crisp, others blown apart, and more riddled with bullets. Men, women, and children alike. Utter devastation, stunned silence abound.
Taking it all in, Nate couldn’t help but think, in quiet disbelief, that he’d done this. Whether from the pull of a trigger, or a turn of the head, lives had been forever altered. Divested of his humanity, he was forced to leave his innocence there, on Highway 8 in Iraq, never to be seen again. Home had never seemed so far away.
“Nate. Nate!”
He was being touched. A bolt of fear struck him, making him jump with a start, as he came out of his inner hell with heart pounding. “What?” he hollered.
“You okay?” his dad asked, leaning back quickly. “You seemed pretty far away there. It took some to get you to respond.”
“I’m fine, just tired,” he answered abruptly, feeling confused. Were they there already? The last he remembered they were going up the hill, and now… Well, an hour must’ve passed. He ran a hand over his face.
“Anything you want to talk about? I’ll listen,” his dad offered.
Nate looked over and stared at his dad, then looked away, avoiding the issue. “Let’s get this over with, I need this to be done, then on the way home, can we stop at Johnson Motors in St. Croix and talk to Matt? I need a vehicle of my own, and Matt will be sure I’m treated right. I trust him.”
Nodding his head, his dad answered, “Sure thing, sounds like a plan. Let’s do it.”
**********
Linnie felt a little better. The water aerobics class had helped to work out some of the stress in her tense muscles. She hadn’t slept well the night before, and was feeling irritable and edgy. Walking over to the hot tub, she stepped in. Ohhh, does that feel nice. Finding a water jet, she positioned herself in front of it, so it would massage her achy muscles. Leaning back, she closed her eyes and prepared to relax.
“Well, hey there gorgeous.”
Okay, so that lasted all of about two nanoseconds, she thought. Opening her eyes, she looked up to see the twenty something bartender from the Bon Ton. He had a fading bruise around his right eye. Ugh, couldn’t he just go away. “Oh hi,” she replied.
Looking around, he said, “Imagine that, running into you here, in a hotel of all places. I thought you wanted to get out of Luck?” he asked, with a gleam in his eye, as he stared at her chest.
He’s going to be a pain in the ass, she thought. Pulling herself under the water more, she answered, “Yeah, I’m going to be leaving soon. My dad wanted me to stay a bit longer, so I did.”
He smiled a slow lascivious grin. “Long enough for us to get together? Maybe have dinner, a few drinks? You know, hangout or something.”
He’s trying to look at me under the water, she thought with extreme irritation. Searching for her towel, she was annoyed to see it on the other side of the pool. The closest one was a hotel towel, and those were about as big as postage stamps. Shrinking under the water more, she prayed the timer on the hot tub didn’t run out. “Oh, gosh, thanks for the offer, but yeah, I’m leaving soon. In fact, I’m meeting my brothers for lunch, here in the hotel restaurant, before I go home to pack.”