by J. Darling
He stopped and put his forehead to hers. “Tonight, after dinner, I want you and me time, okay?”
“Mmmhmm, I like that idea,” she answered, giving him an Eskimo kiss. “The sooner I get dinner started, the sooner it’ll be over,” she offered optimistically.
Lifting her down, he gave her a swat on the rear. “Get goin woman, whatcha waitin fer, I’m hungry,” he paused, then finished with, “for dessert.” Then he wiggled his eyebrows at her.
Blushing, she gave him a little shove. “Well, look at who’s being cheeky.”
Laughing, and wanting to tease a little more, he grabbed her from behind and hugged her tight, while nibbling on her ear. “How about you bring the whip cream, and I bring the chocolate,” he whispered.
Blushing more, she pushed out of his hold and looked around to see if anyone was watching them, then gave him a smack on the chest. “Stop it you beast, or you’ll get us kicked out.”
“Nahhh, but I’ll behave. Head inside, I’ll carry everything in.”
Later, Nate lie on the bed watching Linnie as she sorted and folded a mountain of clothes, forming neat stacks on the floor in the process. In between loads at the Laundromat, she’d been to his parent’s house and picked up a bunch of his clothes. “Can I help you finish with that?”
Stopping, she looked up at him, then smiled a knowing smile. “You really want to help with this? Or, could it be your way of saying I’m ignoring you, and you want me to stop?”
“Ahhh, the first one for sure,” he answered, lying through his teeth. “Come up here, that can wait till tomorrow, you’ve been working hard all day.”
Getting up, she came and sat in front of him. Looking at him straight on, she asked, “Did you sleep well last night, get enough rest?”
“I did, I woke up early in the morning and looked around me. I remember liking the color you picked for the room, and feeling content with you snuggled up against me, then I drifted back to sleep. I haven’t done that in a long, long time.”
“Are you having a hard time sleeping?”
Looking at her, he contemplated his answers and said, “Sometimes.”
“I’m thinking you’re not sleeping much, when you faint dead away, and sleep for twenty hours. You were out. We laid you down, cleaned up the mess, carried in the mattress, undressed you, and then the guys lifted you onto it. You didn’t so much as flinch.”
Panic stirred in him. “They saw me without my clothes on?”
Staring back at him with compassion, she said, “So we have two issues here, you not sleeping, and you not wanting people to see your scars.” He turned away, and she turned his head back to her, then said quietly, “Wear them proudly, Nate. They’re a testimony to what you were willing to sacrifice for all of us.”
Not wanting to talk about it, he said, “Sometimes I can’t get to sleep until early morning, and at other times I only sleep an hour or two, then I’m up. Hopefully, I won’t disturb you, but I can always go to another room if I am.”
“Any particular reason why you’re not able to stay sleeping?”
“No.”
She slowly nodded her head. “My sleep pattern’s disrupted too,” she explained, “from shift work at the hospital. So, I may be the one up in the middle of the night. I imagine there were a lot of night shifts, and then some, for you in the last five years.”
“Being next to you helps, it calms me,” he said, trying to divert the conversation to the here and now.
“So, you’re up because you feel anxious?”
She was too damn smart. “I didn’t say that. Hey, Jake told me what you’re thinking about Mikey, I…well…thank you for believing in me.”
“Hmmmm,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “Your deflecting, but I’ll let it go for now. Just make me one promise, and then we’ll change the subject.”
“What?”
“Promise me the next time you’re up in the middle of the night, you’ll wake me.”
“Linn—”
“Promise me,” she said, brooking no argument.
Feeling caught and uncertain, he looked at her. She was rock steady, solid. “I promise.”
“Alright. So, yes, I believe you’re right in thinking he’s not your child, but if it turns out he is, he’ll know the love of a father, and a mother. I will love him as my own. We will love him as our own.”
Whoa, he was stunned. This is just not how he expected things to go. If Mikey was his, he’d fully expected to have to work to keep these two aspects of his life apart, maybe even choose between them. “You mean it, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do. He’s a child, innocent in all this. He’s deserving of a mother, and a father. I could never hold this against him, against you. I could never harm that which is part of you.”
Staring at her, not moving, he tried processing everything that’d happened in the last two weeks. He didn’t know what he’d ever done to deserve her, but he was damn thankful anyways. Every time he was convinced he couldn’t love her more, she’d do something, or say something, that would make him do just that. She’d taken on her father, making it okay for them to be together. She’d agreed to stay, giving them a chance at a future. And now, she’d just absolved him of his past, while accepting the consequences that could follow.
She’d waved the white flag. No matter the results, she was willing to stand by him through it all. He couldn’t help but see her differently. This tiny woman, this beautiful, quiet, tiny woman was so incredibly strong. He didn’t know what to say, the words “I love you” and “thank you” being wholly inadequate. And quite frankly, the time for talking was done. So he just opened his arms to her, and knew beyond a doubt, that she’d come.
CHAPTER 12
Linnie was startled awake when Nate jumped from the bed in the middle of the night. Turning over, she couldn’t see where he’d gone. Grabbing the intercom Jake insisted she keep by the bed, she pressed the call button once. They’d decided one push meant she needed help, while two pushes meant it was an emergency, and Jake had made her promise she’d call no matter how trivial the situation. In all honesty, she didn’t think he really believed this could be happening to Nate, and needed to see it for himself.
Getting out of bed, she could hear Jake coming up the stairs from his bedroom in the basement. Peering through the dim glow from the nightlight she’d placed across the room, she found Nate on the floor. Jake came in quietly, and she motioned him over. Nate was lying on his stomach, in front of the line of clothing piles she’d made earlier in the evening. His head was slightly off the floor, and his hands were out in front of him as if he was holding a gun. He was very still, very quiet, almost as if he was frozen. Then after a few minutes, he began to talk in a whisper.
“Yankee Tango Cobra Three to Falcon Four.”
He paused…
“Falcon Four, target in range moving west by northwest six clicks, copy.”
Another pause…
“Affirmative Falcon, I see three targets with weapons clearly visible.”
…
“Copy Falcon, standby.”
…
“Falcon Four, Cobra Three, Cobra Six is down, copy.”
…
“Kyle’s been hit, he needs a medic!”
…
“Affirmative Falcon, I have clear visual.”
…
“Copy Falcon, standby.”
The muscles in Nate’s hands and arms contracted, as he shot and aimed his gun, his mind recreating the events, one, two, three, his presence calm, his aim exact.
“Falcon Four, Cobra three, target neutralized.”
Pause…
Then he pulled himself across the floor with one hand, his gun being in the other, to the body pillow Linnie had left on the floor.
“Kyle, you okay man?” he whispered, shaking the pillow. “Kyle?” He shook the pillow a little harder. “Kyle, open your eyes, man, come on, open ‘em.” Stopping, he waited, then put his head on the pillow and started whim
pering.
Linnie felt his pain. Jake put his arms around her and held her. Then, as if nothing had ever happened, Nate got up, turned his back on the pillow, and went over to the bed, lying down with his forearm resting over his eyes. Taking a deep breath, she wiped away a tear, and gave Jake a reassuring squeeze. Going over to the bed, she carefully slid in next to Nate, lying on her side. As if aware of her presence, he rolled towards her and pulled her in close, hugging her tight, and just like before, he trembled from head to foot.
Several hours later, in the haze of the early morning light, Linnie felt Nate placing tiny kisses on her shoulder. Smiling, she wiggled closer. Continuing with his endeavors, he went to her ear, and she giggled because it tickled. Teasing him, she pretended to be sleeping by snoring loudly. Reaching under the comforter, he gave her a playful swat on the rump, then immediately massaged it away. Rolling toward him and onto her back, she put her arms around his neck and pulled him up close. “Good morning.”
Kissing her long and deep, he stole her breath, then answered, “Not yet, but it will be once I’m done.”
She laughed. Then he paid particular attention to her neck and everything downward. She couldn’t help it, she moaned. Yes, she was really going to like this new arrangement.
Lying in his arms after having made love, Linnie asked, “How’d you sleep last night? You seemed a bit restless.”
“Really?” Nate asked, looking puzzled as he pulled back and looked at her. “I don’t remember that. I feel good, slept well. Did I keep you up?”
She shook her head. “Not particularly, you just got up, and were out of bed for a few minutes, then you laid back down. So, I just wondered if you were having a hard time sleeping.”
“I did? I don’t recall that,” he said, with a shake of his head. “Are you sure you weren’t dreaming, because I don’t recall getting up.”
“No, I was awake, but that’s okay. What’s important is that you slept well. I’m going to go make breakfast. You hungry?”
“Yeah,” he answered, as he sat up. “Hey, what happened to the piles of clothes? They’re a mess.” Staring at the floor, he looked around in confusion, then after a few moments, his demeanor sobered. Without looking up, he said, “I’ll fold them while you’re making breakfast.”
“That’s fine, either that or I’ll do it latter, no big deal,” she said, grabbing some clothes to put on. Leaning over the bed, she kissed him before leaving.
Linnie placed a platter loaded with sixteen thick cut French toast pieces and half a ham, sliced, on the table, along with a dozen and a half scrambled eggs. Then she added a large bowl of fresh cut fruit, and a huge pitcher of milk. Naturally, the guys polished it all off, and wanted to know why she was starving them.
“There is no way you guys can still be hungry. You ate enough for twelve people.”
“We’re not just some wimpy boys, Linnie, we’re men,” Kris added, flexing his arm muscles and sticking out his chest. “We need food.”
“Aha, right,” she answered, clearly unaffected.
“Linnie, there’s a half a jug of syrup left, and nothing to put it on,” Nik teased.
“That’s a gallon sized jug, Nik. There better be some left.”
“So, what’s on the agenda today?” her dad asked of no one in particular.
When nobody chimed in, Linnie sat up, and started gathering dishes. “Well, I guess I’m going grocery shopping.”
Placing his hand on her arm, her dad stopped her. Looking at her brothers, he said, “You three clean this up.” Then turning back to her, he asked, “You need money?”
“No, I can cover it,” she said, sitting back in her chair.
“Buy everything you need, and when you get home, I want the receipt, okay?”
She nodded.
Then looking at Nate, he asked, “Will you drive her in, help her out?”
“Was already planning on it,” he answered, with a nod.
Getting up and going to the freezers downstairs, Linnie started moving stuff around.
“You about ready?” Nate asked, coming up behind her.
“Yeah, I just don’t know how old some of this stuff is, and a lot of it isn’t marked, so I want it all in one freezer where I can go through it.”
He nodded and helped her move some stuff. “Should we go to Rice Lake?”
Huh? She never went to Rice Lake, ever. “Mmmm, no, St. Croix.”
“I thought Rice Lake would be nice,” he continued.
“Maybe, but it’s an hour away, and St. Croix’s only twenty five minutes, so St. Croix works better. Plus, they have a Super Walmart, and I want to check it out,” she answered, closing the freezers.
“You sure, Rice Lake has a Super Walmart?”
What the hell? This was weird. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
“Okay, if you say so,” he answered, like she was going miss out on the best shopping experience of her life by going to St. Croix.
“Hey, you two mind if I tag along?” Jake asked, on the way to his room.
“No, that’d be fine,” she answered quickly, not sure what was going on, and thinking it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have him along just in case.
“Alright, let me get my wallet. I’ll meet you outside.”
Riding in Nate’s new truck, the day only became more interesting as it went on. Heading south on Wisconsin 35, and almost to the turn off for Highway 8 into St. Croix, Nate turned off the pavement, and started traveling the back county roads.
“Ahh, hun, where we going?” she asked from the back.
“Walmart. That’s what you said, right?”
“Yep, but Highway 8’s a straight shot, and this…isn’t,” she said, looking out the window.
“Yeah, I thought I’d take Jake by Kopellah,” he answered, as if it made perfect sense.
Jake looked back at her and shrugged. “Ahh, the Speedway is closed now, hun. They closed in September, the last race was in August.”
“Mmhmm,” he answered, while continuing to drive on.
After twenty minutes of driving round and around, Linnie decided they’d officially entered the Twilight Zone. Nate had managed to geographically twist and weave his way to the very back of the Walmart building, then parked in the farthest corner of the lot, beyond the automotive center and loading docks. The three of them just sat in the truck looking at the back of the building. Nate pleased as punch that he’d found it, Jake and Linnie confused as hell.
“Ahh Nate, buddy,” Jake said, pausing a little, “you, ahhh, need to go up a block, and then turn left, and go another block to get to the front of the store.”
“Yeah, I want to park here though, so no one scratches up my truck.”
She and Jake looked around the pickup, vast emptiness, except for the piles of excess snow plowed to the back recesses of the lot. “Weeelll, yeah, it looks like you found a good spot then,” Jake answered bewildered, scratching his head.
And just because why the hell not, Nate finished up by saying, “I figured we could just go in and out through automotive.”
Swinging their heads around, she and Jake looked a half a block down and across the empty lot, to the cordoned off automotive center located next to the closed up garden department. He couldn’t be serious, Linnie thought.
“Well, we better get moving,” Nate said, opening his door and getting out.
She and Jake looked at each other, with little option but to follow. Walking in silence as they trudged their way across the icy, snow laden lot, they jostled their way through the narrow corridor of the automotive department, before finally making it into the store. There was no way a cart would ever go through there, she thought. In fact, she was certain it was made that narrow so people couldn’t go through there stealing things.
“Welcome to Walmart,” a young kid said as they entered the store. “How may I help you?”
“Yeah, she wants to grocery shop,” Nate answered, like this was a natural event in the automotive department.
&nb
sp; Staring at them for a moment, the kid started looking around like he was being pranked. Looking back at them like they were nuts, he said, “Dude, you’ll like wanna go to the front of the store for that. It’s like, all the way on the other side of the building, man.”
“Thanks, but we’re good here,” Nate said. “You got any carts around?”
“Ahhh, well, we usually keep a few around,” the kid answered, uncertain. Pointing, he said, “Check around that corner.”
Moving that direction, Nate disappeared, then returned a few moments later pushing a loud thumping flatbed with only three working wheels on it, stopping it in front of her.
“No carts, just this. I’ll stay here and look around, maybe go over an aisle or two to sporting goods. Just call if you need help, I’ve got my phone on me.”
Flabbergasted, Linnie looked to Jake, and he nodded, indicating he’d stay with Nate. Grabbing the flatbed because she didn’t know what else to do, she headed to the front of the store to get a cart. Rounding the corner, she pulled out her cellphone and called Bev. It just wasn’t like him to behave like this, at all.
**********
Early Monday morning Linnie saw Nate off to work, then headed out the door. She’d called a family conference, including Nate’s parents, and they were all meeting at Bean’s restaurant in Frederic because it had ample seating, good food, and would be less conspicuous and unlikely to feed the rumor mill. After finishing shopping yesterday, Nate insisted they load two heaping carts worth of groceries through the automotive department, which meant carrying their items out bag by bag. He’d meticulously loaded the groceries in the back of his truck, taking extra time and care to “make sure nothing broke,” but she knew his real motive was to personally inspect each and every bag before they left.
Fortunately, they‘d made it through the night without another incident, and Nate seemed genuinely pleased when she told him she was going to meet his mother for breakfast, with plans to relax for the rest of the day. Walking into the restaurant, everyone was there. Linnie removed her hat and jacket, then sat, as her dad poured her coffee. Glancing at the menu, the waitress took her order. Grabbing the cream and sugar, she looked up to see them all staring at her.