by Chris Colfer
“No, you don’t understand,” she said. “I want to get married right now.”
Froggy knew from the desperate look in her eyes that Red was dead serious.
“Sweetheart, are you sure now is a good time?” he said.
“I’m positive,” Red said. “If the last month has taught me anything, it’s how unpredictable life can be—especially when you’re friends with the Bailey twins. This could very well be the last chance we’ll ever get! Let’s do it now, in the Square of Times, before another magical being can tear us apart!”
The idea made Froggy’s heart fill with joy, but he wasn’t convinced it was the right thing to do.
“Are you sure this is the wedding you want?” he asked. “I don’t mean to be crude, but the whole street is covered in a witch’s remains.”
A large and self-assured smile grew on Red’s face. “Charlie, I can’t think of a better place to get married than on the ashes of your ex-girlfriend,” she said. “Mother Goose, will you do the honors?”
Besides being pinned to the ground by a three-ton lion statue, Mother Goose couldn’t think of a reason why she couldn’t perform the ceremony.
“I suppose I’m available,” she said.
“Wonderful!” Red squealed. “And for all intents and purposes, we’ll say the Fairy Council are our witnesses, Conner is the best man, and Alex is my maid of honor. Don’t worry, Alex! This will only take a minute and we’ll get right back to helping you!”
Red and Froggy joined hands and stood in the middle of Times Square as Mother Goose officiated the impromptu wedding.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today—against our will—to unexpectedly watch this frog and woman join in questionable matrimony. Do you, Charlie Charming, take Red Riding Hood as your lovably high-maintenance wife?”
“I do,” Froggy declared.
“And do you, Red Riding Hood, take Charlie Charming as your adorably webfooted husband?”
“I do,” Red said.
“Then it is with the power mistrusted in me that I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may kiss the frog!”
Red and Froggy shared their first kiss as a married couple, and their friends cheered.
“Beautiful ceremony, my dear,” Merlin said.
“Believe it or not, this isn’t the strangest wedding I’ve been to,” Mother Goose said. “Now will someone get this stone feline off me?”
Fortunately, they didn’t have to. Alex soared across Manhattan as her magic consumed the island below her. The lion statues leaped off Mother Goose and Merlin and followed Alex, jumping from rooftop to rooftop across the city. Froggy and Red cut the cables around Conner and Bree and then sliced through the vines trapping the Fairy Council.
“What do we do now?” Bree asked.
“We need to get off this island and regroup with the others,” Conner said. “Now that she’s been ordered to destroy the Otherworld, Alex isn’t going to stop until we break the curse.”
“Any ideas how to break it?” Froggy asked.
“Just one,” Conner said. “But I’m praying we find another way.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
A BROTHER’S BURDEN
A wave of Alex’s destructive vines chased after Conner, his friends, and the Fairy Council as they ran through the New York City streets. The fairies zapped the approaching plants with enchantments to keep them off their tail, but every time they destroyed one vine, a dozen grew in its place.
“It’s like Manhattan is sinking into the Thornbush Pit!” Conner said.
“What’s a Thornbush Pit?” Bree asked.
“It’s a dangerous sinkhole in the fairy-tale world,” Conner explained. “Alex and I had to go inside it to retrieve an item for the Wishing Spell. You know what’s funny? After all this, that seems like a good memory!”
“Speak for yourself!” Froggy said.
Luckily, the group came to an intersection and crossed paths with Arthur, the Knights of the Round Table, and Cornelius. They, too, were on the run from the atrocious vines covering the city. The unicorn carried Rook’s body on his back; the knights had covered him in candy wrappers from the witches’ base.
“Did you find Alex?” Arthur asked.
“We did,” Red said. “As you can see from the demonic plants covering the city, it didn’t go so well.”
“A witch ordered Alex to destroy the world, starting with the city,” Conner said. “We’re trying to get off the island so we can come up with a plan to stop her!”
Eventually, they reached the Hudson River on the west side of Manhattan. Merlin transformed a pigeon into a small ferry and everyone quickly boarded it and sailed down the river toward Liberty Island. Conner was virtually speechless as he watched Alex’s magic consume the city beside them. His sister had come a long way from the bookworm in Mrs. Peters’s sixth-grade classroom.
The ferry docked on Liberty Island, and Conner reunited with his friends and characters from the Saint Andrew’s Children’s Hospital commissary. Charlotte and Bob were overjoyed to see that Conner and his friends were safe. They charged through the crowds on the island and gave him a huge hug.
All the pirates, superheroes, archaeologists, and Cyborgs appeared to be in great spirits given the circumstances, but their demeanors quickly changed when they noticed the body on Cornelius’s back.
“What happened?” Bolt asked.
“Rook saved Alex’s life,” Conner informed them. “He stepped in front of a sniper’s bullet before it hit her.”
“My God,” Bob said. “His poor father.”
“Where is your sister now?” Charlotte asked.
“She’s currently destroying the biggest city in the United States,” Conner said. “You know, typical teenage stuff.”
His mother let out a frustrated sigh. “Is there nothing we can do to stop the curse?”
“Nothing worth mentioning,” Conner said.
Lester swooped toward Liberty Island with Jack, Goldilocks, and Hero on his back. Everyone was relieved to see that the parents had rescued their child from the witches, and Jack and Goldilocks were thankful that their friends had gotten out of the city in time.
“There you are!” Jack said. “We circled the park but couldn’t find a place to land—the whole city is covered in vines!”
“Tell me about it,” Conner said. “What happened to all the witches?”
“We took care of most of them, but a few might have escaped the city,” Goldilocks said. “Any luck with Alex?”
Conner shook his head. “I wish I had better news.”
“I do—Froggy and I got married!” Red announced. “Oh, and I also killed Morina with a hand mirror. I know an afternoon of murder and matrimony sounds awfully tacky, but it was quite lovely.”
Froggy looked down at Jack and Goldilocks’s newborn son, and a wide smile stretched across his face. “This must be Hero,” he said.
“I keep forgetting you haven’t met him yet,” Goldilocks said. “Hero, this is your uncle Froggy.”
She passed the infant into Froggy’s arms. Froggy’s eyes became extra glossy at the sight of his nephew. Hero stared up at Froggy like he was the most fascinating thing he had ever seen.
“He’s beautiful,” Froggy said.
“You should have seen what he looked like when he came out,” Red whispered. “I didn’t eat for days.”
While the two were being introduced, Conner was shocked to see that the majority of the Literary Army was scattered across Liberty Island. The card soldiers from Wonderland and the pirates from Neverland sat on the ground in handcuffs. The Winkies guarded the prisoners, and although Conner couldn’t put his finger on it, there was something very different about them—like the light had returned to their eyes. The flying monkeys were twitching, covered with static electricity, and lay across the grass virtually comatose—but Conner noticed a difference in them, too. He saw that Blubo was snuggled up in his parents’ laps, happily picking the bugs off their bodies.
&
nbsp; “Wait a second—did you guys defeat the entire Literary Army without us?” Conner asked with an excited smile.
“We sure did!” Peter Pan announced. “The Dolly Llama’s crew and I fought Captain Hook and his pirates on top of the Empire State Building! Auburn Sally sliced off his hand and the captain fell to his death!”
The Mad Moth roared like a Triceratops to remind Peter of its involvement, which startled everyone on Liberty Island.
“Oh, and the Blissworm hatched from its cocoon and saved Tinker Bell!” Peter added.
“That’s the Blissworm?” Bree asked. “Boy, and I thought my imagination was warped.”
“What else happened while we were in the park?” Conner asked.
“Bolt electrocuted the flying monkeys on the Chrysler Building!” Blaze bragged about his brother.
“The Merry Men and the Lost Boys defeated the Wicked Witch at Lincoln Center,” Beau Rogers said. “And once she was dead, the Winkies and monkeys were free from her magic spell!”
“I’VE MADE MANY WOMEN MELT IN MY DAY, BUT SHE WAS THE FIRST ONE TO ACTUALLY DISSOLVE,” Robin Hood said.
“The Tin Woodman beheaded the Queen of Hearts in Washington Square Park, and our Cyborgs captured her card soldiers,” Commander Newters said.
Bree couldn’t help noticing that Trollbella and the Tin Woodman were holding hands. “What’s going on with you two?” she asked. “Are you guys like a thing?”
“If we must define our relationship in your uncivilized monster terms, then yes, we are a thing,” Trollbella said. “I’ve spent my whole life longing after Butterboy, but it turns out what I really needed was a Butter Tray.”
Conner was bursting with so much pride for all that his friends and characters had accomplished, he didn’t have room to be disturbed by Trollbella and the Tin Woodman’s new relationship.
“But who told you how to defeat the Literary Army?” he asked. “I mean, even I would have had to consult a librarian.”
“Your mom did,” Bolt said.
Conner was pleasantly surprised to hear it. “Really?”
“At first we didn’t know what to do, either,” Charlotte said. “Then I thought, What would Alex and Conner do if they were in my shoes? So I took a page from your book and wrote a story about meeting James M. Barrie, L. Frank Baum, and Lewis Carroll. I splashed the pages with a few drops of Portal Potion, stepped into the beam of light, and asked the authors how to defeat their characters.”
“And what did they say?”
“Sir James M. Barrie said Captain Hook’s greatest weakness was revenge and that he’d never give up a chance to get even with Peter Pan for cutting off his hand. Mr. Baum said the Wicked Witch of the West was so evil she could be melted by water, so it’s nice to know the movie depicted something correctly. Lastly, Mr. Carroll said the Queen of Hearts would never pass up an opportunity to chop off a unique head. I relayed all the information to Arthur and he put the plans into motion.”
Over the years, Charlotte had given Conner plenty of reasons to be a proud son, but hearing how she’d acquired the information necessary to defeat an entire army definitely took the cake. However, before Conner could shower his mom with praise, he suddenly froze and went dead silent—her methods had given him an idea.
“Oh my gosh,” he said. “I know how to break the curse! I know how to save my sister!”
Conner instantly had everyone’s attention. Even Hero was interested in what he had come up with. But before Conner shared his plan, he ran to the edge of Liberty Island and looked across the river at the Manhattan skyline. Most of the island was covered in his sister’s vines, but Alex herself was nowhere in sight.
“I need a better view of the city,” Conner said. “Lester, could you give me a lift to Lady Liberty’s torch?”
The giant gander leaned down so Conner could climb on his back. Bree’s curiosity got the best of her and she hopped aboard Lester, too. They flew to the very top of the Statue of Liberty, and Lester dropped the teenagers off on Lady Liberty’s torch.
“So?” Bree asked. “How are you going to break the curse?”
Conner shrugged. “Oh, I have no idea.”
“Then what’s your secret plan?” she asked.
“I’m going to ask someone who does have an idea,” he said. “But first, I need to know exactly where Alex is—otherwise the plan isn’t going to work.”
They scanned the city like it was an ancient text. Finally, they spotted Alex drifting through the buildings of downtown Manhattan. She flew to the top of the Freedom Tower and watched her vines spreading through the streets below. The lion statues climbed the sides of the towering skyscraper and joined her.
“Great, she’s landed!” Conner said. “If we can just get her away from those statues, I might have a shot at saving her!”
Suddenly, something moving in the Hudson River caught their attention. A small boat painted in camouflage colors was speeding up the river. The boat docked on Liberty Island, and they watched as General Wilson, a dozen Marines, and a very familiar old woman climbed onto the island.
“Cornelia?” Bree said in disbelief. “But what the heck is she doing here?”
Conner and Bree quickly climbed aboard Lester, and the gander transported them back to the ground. By the time they arrived, all the characters had gathered around Cornelia, the general, and his Marines.
“I’m here on urgent business, so everyone listen carefully,” General Wilson said. “I don’t know who you people are, where you’re from, or why you’re in my country, but you all need to return home immediately.”
“Seriously, Gunther?” Cornelia berated him. “Do you really expect people to respect you when you address them like that? Not all of us are Marines, you know.”
The general did his best to ignore her remarks, but everyone could tell they were getting under his skin.
“In less than an hour, the United States military will be dropping a nuclear weapon on the city of New York,” he announced. “Unless you want to be caught in its detonation range, you must leave this island at once.”
“What?” Charlotte gasped.
“You can’t nuke the city!” Conner yelled. “My sister’s still over there!”
“I’m sorry for your loss, but the decision has been made,” General Wilson said.
“This is exactly what I warned you about, Gunther!” Cornelia said. “Had you just listened to me when I first told you about the portals to other dimensions, none of this would be happening right now!”
The general’s nostrils flared. “Cornelia, I invited you here to help me communicate with these people, not reprimand me in front of them!”
“You invited me here?” she asked. “Forty armed guards showed up at my house in the middle of the night, pulled me out of bed, and threw me into the back of a jeep! If that’s your definition of an invitation, I’d hate to see how you arrest someone!”
“Cornelia, how do you and the general know each other?” Bree asked.
“We used to date,” Cornelia explained. “I spent years trying to warn him about the portal between worlds, but no matter how much interdimensional evidence I gathered, he never took the Sisters Grimm seriously. And now here we are, minutes away from destroying the greatest city in the world!”
“This is not the time to say I told you so,” the general barked.
“I don’t need to say it,” Cornelia snapped. “It’s abundantly clear!”
“Okay, time out!” Conner shouted. “Obviously you two have issues that never got resolved, but can we go back to the part about nuking New York City? That can’t be the only option!”
General Wilson pointed across the river to the vines demolishing the buildings throughout downtown. “We have to stop that from spreading to the rest of the world,” he said. “Unless you’ve got a better idea, the army will be dropping a nuke in thirty-five minutes.”
Conner glanced at his sister on top of the Freedom Tower. His plan to free Alex from the curse would be the mo
st difficult mission of his life, but he would rather die trying to save her than do nothing and watch her perish.
“Actually, I do have a better idea,” he said. “Who’s got a pen?”
The Freedom Tower was the tallest building in Manhattan and provided Alex with a breathtaking view of the city as she destroyed it. At the very top of the building, wrapped around the base of the antenna, was the Communication Platform Ring. The three-level platform was filled with radio equipment, giant lights, wires, and hundreds of support beams. Alex and the lion statues walked around the platform as they watched the vines consume the Big Apple below them.
Suddenly, the Mad Moth whooshed out of the sky and knocked both lion statues to another rooftop nearby. The massive insect roared like a banshee and pounded the statues into smithereens. The Mad Moth gobbled up the small chunks of stone before they could rematerialize into the lions. A thunderous burp erupted from the alien’s mouth, causing the windows of a neighboring building to shatter.
Unbeknownst to Alex, while she watched the Mad Moth devour her stone guardians, Lester had snuck onto the roof behind her and dropped off eight passengers. Alex heard their footsteps as they spread out on the platform, but when she turned around, there was no one in sight. Alex briskly walked through the levels of the platform and searched for the intruders.
“I’ve spent the last thirty-eight hours wondering how to help you,” Conner called out from his hiding spot. “I’ve thought of spells, potions, charms, enchantments—but none of them were powerful enough to break the curse. Then I remembered that when we were kids nothing helped you forget your troubles more than a good story. So I wrote you one—here it goes.”
Conner stepped out from behind a support beam, and Alex hit her brother with a bright burst of light. It knocked him unconscious, and Conner collapsed on the platform. Seeing her brother injured, even by her own hand, broke the curse temporarily, and Alex returned to normal.
“Conner!” she yelled.
She hurried to her brother’s side. When she arrived, she discovered that this wasn’t actually her brother—it was Arthur! The young king had been transformed to look like Conner! Once Alex realized she had been tricked, the curse returned tenfold. The real Conner cleared his throat from wherever he was hiding and began his story.