Rockstar Sinners (Forbidden Chords Book 2)

by Ja'Nese Dixon

  Sydney combed her mind trying to remember if she knew that piece of information. “Then what happened?”

  “It’s a long story, but I had to prove to my brothers how bad I wanted my career. To be a full time artist.”

  “Who did you do it?”

  “Much like what they’re putting you through. I worked with Bruce for several years. They had to dry me out and build me up. But Sydney, it’s worth it. I never ever thought I’d be here.” He sat forward. “Actually, I knew I could do it. But my life is so much better than I ever dreamed.”

  The serene smile on his face said it all.

  “How did you learn to trust again?”

  “I had it easy there. Cameron made it happen. He left the corporate world and started RSE to back me. I’ve known Bruce my whole life, and the others for so long we’re family. They made it easy to trust. But they made me work hard because they knew my potential.”

  “That’s why Bruce is riding my ass?” She joked, but was serious too.

  “Yep. And the more you grow the more he’ll push. Cameron’s the worse. Sydney I’d do it all again. The heartache, the trials, the grueling hours in the studio, the nights on the tour bus. I wouldn’t change a moment of it because it led me to this place.”

  His words intrigued her. Much like leaving the good memories in the past with the bad ones, she now had a fresh perspective for her time with Southern Sounds, it made her contract with RSE possible.

  “What about all the vices?” She had no desire to use drugs and drink again. However, she’d never been to an industry event without one or both being present.

  “That’s a hard one. I would drink and party. Party and drink.” His s bleak smile spoke volumes. “In the end, I found it wasn’t worth it. And it started with changing my surroundings, and having a team that cares about me as a person, not just an artist.” His kind eyes bore into her. “Then I was a disaster waiting to happen. Now, I’m a grown man.

  “I want to do what I love and provide for my family. I want to get old and love my wife for as long as the God Lord allows. I can’t have that with the vices. And anyone that tells you different is a lie.”

  Marques later walked her out to the waiting car. He told her to call anytime. These RSE men are something. She couldn’t wait to meet their parents at the picnic. She half expected them to glide in on wings.

  He’d given her plenty to think about and on the ride to the hotel she realized she’d have to learn to balance her self care with duties as an artist.

  As an artist?

  She entered her room and slumped to the bed, kicking her shoes off. She had a few hours before Cameron’s call. She didn’t take this decision lightly. Her sobriety was her number one concern. Did she really want to be an artist again? Yes, she wanted it and not just recording an album but performing too.

  That meant concerts. Concerts meant traveling. Traveling meant being in situation outside her control. Icy fear twisted in her heart as she crawled into the bed. Her chest felt as if it would burst.

  This changes everything.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Hot damn! We did it.”

  Cameron and Bruce stood outside the pristine building with people and cars swooshing by totally unaware of the importance of this moment. They inked the deal.

  They hugged and with a few solid pats on Bruce’s back they waited for Rashan Carter to join them for lunch.

  “Cameron man, you killed that negotiation. Congratulations executive producer.”

  “The same to you executive producer.” Cameron popped his collar with all the swag of a man headed straight for the stars.

  “Aaaahhhh!!!” They slapped hands five times, saluted then danced around like kids. “We have to compose ourselves. We’re executive producers.”

  Bruce howled with joy and Cameron felt the energy rushing through his body. He couldn’t wait to tell Sydney. They only had one teeny, weeny, tiny problem: The producers were sold based on Sydney’s voice on Damaged. They wanted the demos mastered to be the actual songs for the soundtrack. Knowing Marques, a Grammy award winning artist, would sing several songs sweetened the deal.

  Cameron glanced back at the glass doors not seeing his cousin yet.

  “What are going to do about Sydney?” Bruce asked.

  “Beg.”

  “Can I watch?” A flash of humor crossed his face. “I think I have a better idea. Because I can’t let you go out like that.”

  They bumped fists as he noticed Rashan coming their way.

  “Congratulations!” They danced around like kids again.

  “Real talk, thank you for recommending us.”

  “Thank you for closing on the deal. This is a win for all of us.”

  Cameron nodded. It was. They’d worked years of developing Marques, then building RSE’s reputation in the industry. Now, it was time to expand. It was all coming together.

  “Let’s get out of here, I’m starving.”

  They went to a swank Beverly Hills restaurant and talked about a few additional details. Cameron glanced out the window thinking about the LA Sydney experienced. She left in a cloud of scandal but would return with her voice would narrate a major motion picture with an A-list cast.

  Cameron and Bruce went their separate ways and planned to reconnect later tonight for a mixer with Rashan and the cast. He showered and changed suits. He glanced at his watch, he wanted to give Sydney time to sleep.

  His phone rang. He had a FaceTime call coming in.

  “Hey gorgeous.” He sat on the edge of the bed.

  “Hey yourself handsome. Don’t you look tasty.”

  “Well, what can I say?” They laughed. “How did your session with Marques go?”

  “It was amazing!”

  “Amazing? Tell me all about it.”

  He walked to the couch propping his phone on the arm. He sat back loving the sound of her voice. She told him about their writing session and his great advice.

  “I’m glad you two connected. I think you can both help each a lot. You have many shared experiences. And it should make for wonderful music.” He smiled, wishing he could touch her.

  “He helped me realize something.” The somber tone caught his attention.

  “And what’s that?”

  “I want to sing again.” His heart jumped to his throat.

  “What brought this on?” He watched the emotions dance across her face, excitement, fear, dread, determination, all in seconds.

  “My life without music is like a piece of my soul is missing. And frankly, I’m tired of hiding. I’m working hard on this soundtrack and I want to experience it all.”

  “Baby, I’m glad you’ve come to this decision because the producers loved you.”

  “They did?”

  “They did. And one day you’ll stop being surprised by the spell you’ve casted over us.”

  “I’m not casting a spell. I’m just doing what I love.”

  “So, you’re saying I got you for the soundtrack?” He held his breath.

  “Well it depends.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

  “Woman, don’t do this to me. I have a meeting and I can’t focus when you look at me like that.”

  “Fine. You got me.” She laughed. “But what about my contract with Southern Sounds?”

  “I’m looking into it.” Relieved he sat back and talked with her until it was time to head out. “Look babe, I gotta run. We’re meeting with the cast tonight.”

  “Alright, no man whoring. Playboy Carter is officially out of business.” Joy bubbled in her laugh and shone in her golden eyes. Her could get used to her.

  “Man, what I tell you about that? Besides, my woman holds it down.”

  “Damn right,” she teased. “Hey Cam…”

  “What’s up baby?” He leaned closer as if he could touch her through the screen.

  “I’m your woman?”

  “Damn right.” She was unlocking a different side of him. And he liked it. “B
ye babe.”

  “Bye Cam.”

  They held the line. He had to hear her laugh one more time.

  “Hey Syd?”

  “What’s up baby?” Her lips twitched with the need to smile.

  “Can I call you later?”

  “Damn right!”

  They talked for a while longer, neither wanting to end the call. His side hurt from laughing. She was heading to volunteer at Harmony and he was off to mingle with the cast, counting down the minutes until she was in his arms again.

  “How was Harmony?” He stretched out in the bed with his iPad propped on a pillow.

  “I just love going to Harmony Dance.” She held her hands to her heart with a smile on her face.

  “Tell me about it.” And this was how their week went. They talked between his meetings, after her sessions, squeezing in time between text messages and video calls.

  “Today I met with the RSE wives. We worked on the picnic arrangements.” She sat on the bed with her legs crossed braiding her hair.

  “What are you in charge of?” The ladies rotated duties over the years.

  “Food.”

  “Food? Are you ready for that?”

  “Do you doubt me?” Her eyebrow spiked daring him to say the wrong thing.

  “Nah baby it just that the RSE family is serious about their food.”

  “So am I? Don’t you see these hips.” She slapped one with a smack and went back to braiding.

  “I love your hips.” She’d mentioned being heavy, her thick thighs, all little subliminal messages causing him to ask. “What’s wrong with your hips?”

  “Nothing, but if I’m going back to the stage I need to lose a few pounds.”

  “Don’t you dare.” He sat up.

  “Cam, you know this industry. We’re in the age of bodysuits and fitted clothes. You don’t expect me to sing in an evening gown.”

  “I’m not a stylist but your music represents freedom and a woman charting her own course. I don’t think you should bend to the norm. Be yourself.”

  “So you don’t mind my extra pounds?”

  “Did I not taste every inch of your body?”

  “Cam…”

  “I had your thick thighs wrapped around my neck.” He cupped his hands. “And your perfect a—”

  “Okay Cameron.” Her cheek flushed with color. “You like my body.”

  “…love your body…”

  “You love my body.” She laid on her stomach closer to the camera, “I love your body too.”

  “All jokes aside,” he picked up his iPad bringing her near, “I get that people make comparisons. But what about the little girl excited to see a plus-size woman with full natural breast and full curves rocking out on the stage. Not taking away for the other women. But there’s a space just for Sydney Jones. I say walk in it.”

  “I’ve been thinking about keeping you around, you’re good for a woman’s ego.”

  He chuckled. “I got you. But what’s in it for me?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

  “I can’t talk to you with that silly look on your face.” She giggled.

  “I’m serious. What’s in for me? I gas you up, you gotta have something for yo boy.” He lean back, smiling. This Syd would have him on the line all night until he had her in his arms.

  “How about…a lifetime supply of birthday suit vouchers?”

  “Bet Syd!” Her hands covered her mouth and she rolled over on her side howling.

  “What you want me to say girl?” He had to yell over her cries for him to stop. Her laughter floated across a thousand miles aimed straight for his heart.

  “Girl your hair looks fierce.” He said in a falsetto. The more she laughed the more he cut up.

  “And your waist is snatched!” He snapped in an exaggerated fashion.

  “And your….”

  “Cam, I can’t breath!” She sat up pleading.

  “How many vouchers is that Syd?” He laughed openly as tears streamed down her face. She fell back, flat on the bed holding her stomach, gasping for air.

  “I love your crazy butt.”

  It sailed through the air and his heart snagged it up because he loved her too.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Sydney let the words in her heart tumble out her mouth. First they were laughing and cutting up and now she had to focus on her man’s face.

  Cameron was a man of many colors. He could transition from cool blue to hot red in a blink. His loyalty streak ran deep, and beneath his thick armor his heart was pure gold.

  “Cam, I didn’t?”

  “You didn’t mean it?” Her nerves tensed immediately. She clenched her hands until her nails pierced her palms.

  “I meant it. I just don’t want you to feel obligated to love me back.”

  The ring of her alarm sounded. She jumped startled. It was time to leave for her session. Saved by the bell.

  “I gotta go Cam. Talk to you later.”

  “Syd don’t—”

  She pressed the red disconnect button on her phone. She stared at the phone wondering if she’d ruined it? Had she moved to fast? She saw the exact moment he retreated behind his armor.

  She scrambled to her feet to get dressed. The driver would be waiting downstairs. Her phone rung as she pulled the door closed. It was Cameron. She couldn’t stand to see that look in his eyes. She turned off her ringer and ignored his call.

  Twenty minutes later she rushed in the hotel to the car having ignored five subsequent calls. She had to think of a good response. Thankfully she had until tomorrow to make light of her slip-up.

  It wasn’t like she said, “I love you.” Period.

  It was more like, “Boy you so crazy. I love you.”

  She smacked her palm to her forehead. That sounded stupid and childish, even for talking to herself. She watched the city roll by in a blur until they arrived at the studio.

  “Hey Marques, sorry I’m late.” She rushed in pulling out her notebook and took the seat beside him.

  “No worries.” His attention on the knobs and dials, then he looked up. “You good?”

  “Yeah.” She dropped her head taking extra care with flipping the pages. Dread pooled in the pit of her stomach. She felt like she’d be sick.

  “We don’t have to do this tonight.”

  “No,” she let out a long audible breath, “I’m ready.”

  She hoped her smile would convince him. She forced her anxiety aside and focused on the music. The best way to handle Cameron would come to her.

  Sydney told Marques her ideas for the song, praying he’d let it go. She needed the booth tonight. He shot back a few suggestions and sent her to the booth.

  Singing would serve as her therapy because regardless of her slip, she loved Cameron. And it was the most thrilling yet scary truth. She loved a man that made her laugh, made her feel safe, and he believed in her. She had to channel her newly acquired status into her music. But letting a man in meant he had the power to throw her life in a tailspin.

  She placed the headphones over ears, stepping closer to the microphone.

  “Drop the lights.”

  Marques lowered the lights. It made seeing anything impossible. However, she didn’t need the lyrics. They were etched in her heart along with Cameron. She closed her eyes and rocked back and forth, shifting her weight from side to side.

  People always wondered how she caused her voice to have such soul. This was how. She lived life and she didn’t hide her truth from her music. The solution was intricately woven in the DNA of her work. It was how she’d survived for so long.

  She rolled her shoulders and wiggled her arms trying to relieve the tense energy from her body. Telling her heart, let love in, let love win.

  “I have the title,” she whispered, her eyes darting to him somewhere in the dark. “Let Love Win.”

  “I like the sound of that Syd.”

  “Run the track.”

  “You got it.”

  The music filled the headphones. The
rapy was in session.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Cameron sat in the hotel pissed at Sydney not answering his calls. He called their pilot and bumped their departure time. Bruce didn’t question his decision since he had a family waiting at home.

  Cameron covered the time and distance thinking of his woman. I just don’t want you to feel obligated to love me back. Obligated to love her? What kind of shit was that?

  Love wasn’t an obligation. Love wasn’t a chore. Love, even when it hurt, was a gift. And despite his feeling about how she handled their conversation, he valued the gift.

  “Man, how did you survive all those years loving Sandi from afar?”

  “Patience.” Bruce chuckled, unaware of the war raging in Cameron. He and his wife were friends for years before Bruce divulged his love for her. “I build a life for us based on hope. Hoping she’d love me the way I loved her. Faith that we’d have this very life I’m living, right now.”

  The smile on his face was priceless. Bruce and his wife had a bumpy start, suffering several miscarriages. But they never quit on their love.

  “I still can’t believe I’m married to her. Ain’t that a trip.” Bruce had a goofy grin on his face. “That I get to go home to her and that she had my children. It is indescribable.”

  Cameron let his head rest against the seat as the plane brought them closer to Houston. “This thing with Sydney has me going mad.”

  “Spill it.”

  Cameron glanced out the window into the night. “Everything is right and wrong at the same time. I want her, but timing couldn’t be worse. And she’s an artist, our artist.”

  “I need you to use your big boy words.” His joking tone lightened the mood. Bruce served as their glue. He was levelheaded yet knew how to go with the flow. “But knowing you since the womb I have one piece of advice.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “Stop trying to control it.”

  “Control what?” He looked across the aisle at Bruce.

  “Everything. That’s why it feels right and wrong. How else would it feel right and wrong? Unless you’re attempting to dictate what it is or what it should be. Love is a unique beast. You don’t choose it. It chooses you. You don’t choose the time. You don’t choose the person. You don’t choose the beginning but you can choose the middle and end.”