by Lacey Black
Like always.
I’m tucked away in his bedroom, rocking in the chair my dad bought us for a baby gift. I should be wearing my bridesmaid dress by now, getting ready to take pictures down on the beach with my sisters. Thank God Meghan has been the most laidback bride in history, because the moment my son started crying for food, she just offered me a smile and said, “Go. Pictures can wait.”
So here I am, my left breast exposed, while Nolan eats like he hasn’t seen food in days. I gaze down lovingly at the little man who completely stole my heart almost four short months ago. He came into this world screaming, his face red in anger and already starving, while his father and I fell helplessly in love with the squishy little child placed in my arms.
Running a finger over his forehead, I watch as he continues to suckle on my left breast, his hand protectively holding the right one as if I could take it away from him at any minute.
Like father, like son.
He’s definitely a boob man.
I didn’t think I wanted to breastfeed. It seems so personal, you know? Not in a bad way, but I didn’t want to be one of those women who whips them out everywhere. But the moment I held him to my chest and his tiny mouth latched on like there was no tomorrow? Well, I decided to give it a try, and here we are, nearly four months later and he feeds like a champion. In fact, he’s such a good eater that we get to start incorporating some mushy solids after his appointment next week, like peas and green beans.
Continuing to run my finger over his forehead, my eyes watch his every move. He’s usually so active, except when he eats. It’s like he has one job to do and he does it well. No, he’s not too big for his age. In fact, he’s only slightly in the seventy-fifth percentile, but this kid takes his food very seriously.
He’s so much like his father that it’s almost scary. He likes to sit up and watch everything, especially baseball. Do you know how many times I’ve gotten up in the middle of the night and found my two boys watching highlights on Sports Center? And Nolan actually watches, as if he’s learning the game and dissecting plays.
You’re probably wondering about his name, right?
Funny story there.
I told Sawyer that under no circumstances were we naming him a baseball name. No Babe or Ozzie or Jackie or Joe. I wanted a totally normal, non-baseball-y name, like any normal woman. I saw Nolan online and fell in love with it. I remember the day I came home and told my husband. He had just returned from a run on the beach, his sweaty chest on full display and completely distracting, with little beads of sweat falling down his eight-pack abs and toward the happy trail and V of his hips…
See? Completely distracting.
Anyway, he was chugging a bottle of water, knowing full well that I was sitting there, gawking like a perv at his perfection. At eight months pregnant, I could totally blame the objectification on hormones. I mean, he is my husband, and it’s not my fault I find him completely sexy and totally fuck-able, even when he’s covered in sweat.
So, I was sitting there, staring and completely ignoring the magazine in my hands, when I told him I found the perfect name for our son. He just raised an eyebrow at me, waiting for me to lay my suggestion at his feet and completely fall in love with it.
Nolan.
The perfect name. Not too weird, not too metro, and not too baseball-y.
My sexy husband watched me for a few moments, probably waiting to see if this was a joke. His uber-sexy lips slowly slid upward, his smile completely taking over his face and rendering my not-in-the-least-bit-sexy, almost granny pregnancy panties useless.
“Perfect,” he had said.
And it was decided right then and there.
Name on birth certificate.
Nolan Sawyer Randall.
Now, imagine my surprise when we’re at home a few days later and Joel flies into town to meet his new pseudo-nephew. Joel is Sawyer’s friend and former teammate, and the moment he walked in and saw baby Nolan, he started laughing, complimenting my husband on “winning” the name game.
Excuse me?
I just pushed a watermelon out of my vagina and my husband won the game?
Did you know Nolan is actually a baseball name? And not just any baseball name, but the baseball name. So it’s not a baseball-y name, but it’s like the biggest baseball-y name in the world of baseball.
Freaking Nolan Ryan.
And freaking Sawyer Randall for just smiling his uber-sexy smile and winning the name game.
Asshole.
Little blue eyes stare up at me, as if he knows I’m thinking smack about his daddy. He’s barely eating now, which hopefully means he has filled up his little Buddha belly and is ready to be good for a bit so I can get dressed and on the beach for pictures. But instead of setting him against my shoulder for a burp, I find myself just watching him watch me. This is my favorite part of breastfeeding. Sure, I love that he’s getting the proper nutrients needed to grow big and strong, but I love this: the way he gazes up at me, his blue eyes that are so very much like his dad’s, so trusting and full of love.
This little man is my biggest joy and greatest weakness.
I would do anything for him, as would his father.
There’s a knock on the door, and I expect it to be one of my sisters. You know, since we’re supposed to be on the beach taking pre-wedding photos and all. But the smile that crests my face isn’t for one of them. It’s for my husband.
He enters slowly, careful not to wake up our son, but he doesn’t know that Nolan’s a big faker. “How’s he doing?” he whispers as he approaches the rocking chair. As soon as our little man hears his dad, his eyes fly across the room until he finds the source of the voice. Sawyer smiles instantly the second his son spots him. “Hey, little man, are you being good for Mommy?”
That’s precisely the moment I become chopped liver. Nolan releases his semi-hold on my breast and reaches for his dad. “He hasn’t burped,” I tell him, adjusting my bra to cover my exposed chest.
Sawyer walks over to the table and grabs the cloth, throwing it over his shoulder as if he’s done this a thousand times before (he has), and sets out to get a burp from our son. It doesn’t take long, as usual, and Nolan is happy as a clam in his dad’s arms.
“How was he?” Sawyer asks, placing a kiss on top of his fuzzy head.
“He was awesome. He was held the entire time and he was doted on by all of the women,” I say, referring to the fact that everyone took turns holding the youngest child at the salon earlier.
“That’s my boy,” Sawyer coos, earning a baby babble and drooly smile from the baby in his arms.
“Did you get everything set up?” I ask, making sure my shirt is righted and stepping into my husband’s waiting arm.
“Yep. The chairs are all there. Payton and Karen were wrapping up the flowers and shit. I think they were getting ready to take pictures,” he says, his free arm wrapped around my shoulder and pulling me into his embrace.
“I know. They’re waiting on me,” I say through a yawn.
“Why don’t I take him with me?” Sawyer offers. I glance up, lost in those sexy blue eyes of his. “He’s already eaten, so he should be good for a while. He can go back to Linkin and Lexi’s with me and hang out with the guys for a bit.” Gazing down at our son, he says, “You’d like that, right, buddy? Hang out with the guys? Get away from all the girls who just want to kiss your cheeks? That’ll be cool in a few years, but now, not so much,” Sawyer says with a slight bounce of the arm he’s holding Nolan with.
Nolan instantly starts to babble and spit bubbles. “I think he’s excited to go hang with the boys,” I say as our baby reaches for his dad’s stubbly jaw. “I thought you were going to shave,” I add, running a finger along the side of his face and instantly feeling the slow burn ignite between my legs.
“I have it on good authority that my wife prefers me a little stubbly. It drives her wild,” Sawyer whispers, his eyes locked on mine.
“It does,” I answer a b
it breathlessly, running a full hand along his jaw. “Completely wild.”
His eyes darken to sapphires and I can already tell his pants are getting a bit tight against my hip. It takes every ounce of control I can find not to throw him down on the floor and ride him like a carousel horse. Nice. And. Slow.
“You’re thinking something dirty,” he whispers, bending down and running his nose along the shell of my ear and inhaling. “I want to do so many fucking dirty things to you.”
My panties are useless. My brain isn’t working. My lungs practically forget their sole purpose in life. I’m just a panting, wanton woman, wishing her husband would devour her from head to toe. “Yes, please.”
“Randall! No fornicating with a bridesmaid before the wedding,” Linkin hollers from somewhere deep in the house, making Sawyer groan in frustration. Throw in the fact that our son is trying to push his face between ours, well, let’s just say that our private little thirty-second moment was broken.
“I really like fornicating,” Sawyer grumbles, adjusting his pants and the baby in his arms.
“I miss fornicating,” I add quietly, reaching over and rubbing Nolan’s back.
Sawyer pulls me into his arms as best he can while holding a kid, and whispers, “Tonight, you’re mine.”
I can’t even breathe, let alone answer, but the moment doesn’t actually require an answer from me. It wasn’t a question, but a statement. One that said the moment we’re alone, he’s going to take great pleasure in doing dirty and very pleasurable things to my body.
I shiver in anticipation.
“Randall!” Linkin hollers, making us both sigh.
“I can’t wait,” I tell my husband, hugging him tightly.
“It’s been so long since I’ve been inside you, but I promise it’ll be the best two minutes of your life,” he jokes.
“When have you ever only lasted two minutes?”
“When has it been forever since I’ve fucked my gorgeous wife? I’m liable to slide inside and embarrass the hell out of myself.”
“Doubtful,” I say, running a hand up his back and pressing my full breasts against his chest. “And if that’s a worry, we might just have to do a little pregame,” I add, knowing he’s so dangerously close to losing all sense of control.
“I fucking love a good pregame,” he tells me, his cock pressed tightly between us.
“Then it’s a date. Meet me in the laundry room five minutes after my dad takes all of the kids back to their house,” I state, my finger gliding up his chest and toying with his nipple.
“This is our house and I have to meet you in the laundry room?” he asks, his eyebrows pulling upward in question.
“Everyone would expect us to slip off to the bedroom,” I reason, placing a kiss on his coarse jaw. “And besides, I really like how convenient it is that the dryer is at perfect level for your mouth and my pussy,” I add in a whisper, so only he can hear.
“Fuck, I’m never going to make it through this wedding,” he groans, placing a chaste, hard kiss on my lips.
“Randall, dammit!” I hear, moments before heavy footsteps echo hard on the steps.
“You better go before Linkin blows a gasket,” I say with a smile.
Sawyer heads to the door and is greeted by Linkin’s annoyed face the moment he opens it. “Five hours. You can’t wait five damn hours before sexing it up with your wife?”
“Stop being dramatic,” Sawyer replies to Lexi’s husband. “I wasn’t sexing her.”
“Yet,” I add.
When his blue eyes land on mine, they heat up all over again. “Yet. I was offering to take Nolan with me so she could get ready for pictures,” my husband agrees.
“Right, I always take my kid with a hard-on too,” Linkin deadpans, an annoyed look on his face. I can’t help but glance down and notice Sawyer’s slightly tented pants, which makes me laugh.
“I hate you,” Sawyer mumbles to the man across from him before turning around and walking toward the dresser. I watch as he throws a couple of things into the diaper bag and grabs the soft blue baseball blanket that Nolan likes to snuggle with.
“You do not. You love me,” Linkin sasses, an ornery grin on his smug face.
“Nope,” Sawyer replies, turning and giving me a kiss on the lips. “I’ll grab a few things from the kitchen and head out. We’ll be back right before the ceremony.”
“Thank you,” I say, feeling slightly relieved that I won’t have to figure out how to manage a needy baby and be a bridesmaid and smile for the pictures at the same time.
“Love you,” he says before following Linkin out the door, Nolan happily cooing as they head down the hall.
I, on the other hand, do the one thing I shouldn’t: sit back down.
I know I should get up and put on my dress. Everyone is waiting on me so we can head down to the beach, but as soon as my butt hits the cushion, my eyes instantly start to droop and the exhaustion that has followed me around for nearly four months starts to pull me under.
I can take a quick little five-minute power nap, right?
I’ll just close my eyes for a few seconds…
Chapter Ten
Sawyer
“Five bucks says Mommy lies down and falls asleep, Nolan,” I say to my baby boy as I strap him in his carrier. He stares up at me, his eyes wide with excitement, as he babbles his reply to our little conversation.
Linkin comes down the stairs, a boy in each arm. I glance his way, my eyebrows shooting to the ceiling. “Mommy was starting to get stressed out, so the boys are with me,” he just confirms what I already suspected.
I make a stop in the kitchen and grab an emergency bottle and formula. I just gotta be careful not to get him too messy right before this wedding, or Mama’s gonna be pissed when we get back. Last time I had him solo, I was cleaning dried breast milk and cereal out of his ears for two days.
“Are we ready?” Dean asks when he comes into the living room, his son Noah in his arms.
“We?” I ask, laughing at this turn of events.
“We. Payton can’t chase this little one while she’s taking pictures, so I’m taking him back to Linkin’s place with me. I see I’m not the only one,” he says as I pick up our diaper bag and the carrier.
“Nope. Looks like we’re all taking a turn,” I say as I reach the front door. “You wanna just ride with me?” I ask Dean. I’d offer Linkin, but I don’t have enough room for his crew.
“Sure. Let me grab the bag and car seat,” he says.
“You guys are still here?” Lexi asks, walking down the stairs with Stella in her arms and her twin sister at her side.
“Heading out now, babe,” Linkin answers. “See you in a bit.” He kisses his wife soundly on the lips before heading out, his twin boys in his arms.
“The others already take off?” Abby asks, glancing around the room for her husband.
“Yeah, he left with Ryan a few minutes ago,” Dean answers just as his wife comes down the stairs.
It’s the first time I really notice their dresses. They’re long and a shade of purple that looks almost gray in the sunlight. I can’t wait to see my wife in hers, though I know she’ll be the most stunning woman in the world. Frankly, if I’m being honest, I’m more excited to get her out if it later tonight when we can be alone.
“Is the photographer here? How tight are his pants?” Emma says as she descends the stairs in grand fashion, wearing a light green dress and a wide smile.
“Woman, don’t embarrass us,” Lexi chastises her elderly grandma.
“Don’t sass me, Alexis Renee. When you get to be my age, it’s perfectly acceptable to gape at butts,” Emma argues.
“Yes, but gaping and grabbing are two totally different things,” Abby chimes in.
“Only on the police report, Abs,” Emma replies with an ornery grin.
“Good luck with the pictures,” I holler to my wife’s sisters as I head out the door, Dean and Noah hot on our heels.
It’s not
a long trip to Linkin and Lexi’s place, and Nolan remains awake for the entire ride. He’s not used to having entertainment in the form of his cousin sitting next to him, and each time I glance back, I find him completely enthralled with Noah’s chatter.
Inside, the house is bursting at the seams. Besides Nick, his dad, brother-in-law, and friend, Rhenn, are there. Throw in Brian, Ryan, Linkin, Dean, Levi, Orval, me, and four little boys, there’s definitely some noise in this place. Everyone tries to talk over the person next to them, and the kids start to drag all of the toys out of the playroom and into the main living room. And Nolan? He just takes it all in.
“Hey, buddy,” Brian says to Nolan as he comes over to where I stand.
“I’m hoping maybe he’ll stay awake a bit so he sleeps tonight for you,” I tell my father-in-law honestly.
“Ehh, I’m not worried. If he keeps us up all night, so be it,” he replies, taking my son from my arms.
“You say that now, but at three a.m. you may be singing a different tune and calling us to come get him.”
“Nah, we’ll be fine. Besides, it’s one night for us, and one night of sleep for you guys. I remember what it was like to have one that didn’t like to sleep at night,” he says, tucking his youngest grandson against his chest like a pro.
“Which one?” I ask.
“Do you really need to ask? Where do you think this guy gets it?” Brian says, gazing down at Nolan with a fond smile on his lips.
“I’ll admit, I’m really looking forward to catching a bit of sleep tonight,” I confess, feeling slightly guilty for saying it aloud.
“Don’t be. You’re not the first parent in the world willing to trade a kidney for a little shut-eye,” he says with a smile.
“Probably not, but I still feel bad pawning him off on you guys before he’s sleeping well.”
“You didn’t pawn him off on us, we offered to take him. And we’re happy to do it.”
“You and Cindy are a lifesaver,” I tell him, and before I can stop myself, I add, “And I’m really looking forward to a little uninterrupted alone time with my wife.”
Brian glances at me, his face completely void of emotion. “I’m glad, though if you keep those details to yourself, I’m sure we’ll all be better off.” I can’t help but smile at his slightly uncomfortable face.