by Kelly, Erika
“Brandon…” Nicole looked upset.
“Too soon.” Ryan held his brother’s gaze, warmth seeping through him. He should’ve been there for his younger brother. Damn.
“Best money I ever spent was on that therapist,” his dad said. “She said putting you in sports would channel all that aggression. And it sure as hell did.”
But a memory struck him like a flash of light. “I didn’t know.”
His dad cocked his head.
“I didn’t know she was a therapist.” He stuttered out a laugh, as he thought about it from an adult’s perspective. “I was eleven.” He shrugged. “I thought her job was to decide what to do with me. She kept asking all these questions, making me out to be some kind of dangerous freak with anger issues, and when we talked about sports she got happy. Told me I should focus on one and get really good at it. That was my second year on Coach Banbury’s team. He was really cool to me, so I figured I’d choose baseball.” He looked to his dad. “You got really into it. It’s like I went from pissing everybody off to being the good kid.” He’d never seen it so clearly before. “You’re right.” He nudged Brandon’s foot. “I did think if I stopped causing problems Dad wouldn’t send me away, too.”
“I would never have sent you away. I was trying to help you. Jesus, I can’t believe you’ve been thinking that all this time.”
“I never thought about it at all. All I knew is it worked. It kept everyone happy with me.” But Ryan turned to his brother. “You nailed it.”
“Fuckin’ Dr. Phil right here.” Brandon smiled.
“This got anything to do with skipping out on your games this week?” his dad asked.
“Maybe. I think I’m tired of dancing for everybody.”
“You don’t want to go pro?”
“No, I do. Of course I do.”
“Okay, so you go back to school, show the scouts you’re still the best shortstop in the country.”
“But is it what you really want?” Nicole asked.
“He just said it is.” His dad turned to her. “He sacrificed a hell of a lot to become the best at what he does, and now he’s getting the pay-off.” He came up to Ryan, slapped him on the shoulder. “I’m damn proud of you, son.” He looked to Brandon and Nicole, his voice getting a little thick. “All of you.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Nicole said.
Big Bill pulled Ryan in for a bear hug, his beefy hands slapping his back so hard it stung.
When he pulled away, all that restless energy rushed back into him. Dragging his palms on his jeans, Ryan felt jittery.
“Ryan?” Nicole asked softly. “Is there something wrong? You seem…distracted.”
“I met a girl. And I blew it.” Panic welled, tightening his lungs. “I let her go.” He didn’t want to talk about it. He just… “I have to get her back.” Awesome. He’d gone from never talking to suddenly spewing his shit all over the place.
“What’d you do?” Brandon asked.
“Emma showed up at the resort.”
Nicole’s eyes went wide. “That was bold.”
“More like crazy,” Brandon said.
“And then Sophie packed up and left.” Just saying it out loud made him sick to his stomach.
Nicole gave him a thoughtful look. “Where does she live?”
“California.”
The hand in his dad’s pocket flexed, as he rocked back on his heels. “Why are we talking about some girl you just met? Come on, son. Your coach took away your captaincy. That’s a big deal.”
“Oh, shit,” Brandon said.
“This isn’t the time to worry about some girl you had fun with over spring break.” His dad eyed him meaningfully. “You’ve got a lot to make up for when you get back to school. But you’ll recover. This is your time, kid. You’ve worked your ass for it. Take it.”
“Yeah, I know what I have to do, Dad. But I’m still going to get her back. She’s…I’m not going to find someone like her again.” If she’d only answer his calls.
“Ryan.” The warning in his dad’s voice didn’t even faze him.
“I don’t care what you think. I’m going to be with her.” He turned to his sister, who was watching him all wide-eyed and jaw hanging open. “What? Why’re you looking at me like that?” He was beginning to regret confiding in them. He didn’t like the exposure.
“You’ve never shared anything before. In all my life, you’ve never been this…real.” She smiled. “I like it.”
She could help him. “So what do I do? I have to get back to school. I owe it to my coach and my teammates, but the way I left things with her…I told her I didn’t want to keep seeing her. I didn’t see how it could work—”
“Because it can’t,” his dad bellowed. “You live three thousand miles apart.”
“I’ll make it work. But she’s not returning my calls. I don’t know what to do.”
“You go get her.” Everyone’s attention whipped to Dylan.
Big Bill looked at him like he was nuts. “Oh, no, you don’t. You get your ass back to school and focus on ball. Jesus, Ryan, six years with Emma didn’t teach you anything? Why the hell would you want to tie yourself to another woman?”
“Because nothing’s going to be right until you do.” Dylan held Ryan’s gaze. “And then you figure out your shit together.”
His dad carried his duffle bag outside. The driver grabbed it and shoved it in the trunk and then rounded the car to get into his seat.
Ryan gave his dad a hug.
“What’m I missing, son?” He pulled away. “I can’t help thinking there’s more going on. Lord knows I screwed up the first half of your life, I sure as hell don’t want to mess with the rest of it.”
“Nah. You did okay, Dad.”
“Should’ve divorced her sooner, but I didn’t want to take your mom away from you, you know? But you’ve always been so solid, so sure of yourself. You didn’t need much parenting. I don’t know what it is, but I’m getting a bad feeling I’m giving you the wrong advice.”
“I’ll figure it out.”
“When you talk about the girl, you’re happy. When we talk about baseball, you get all worked up. I can see it. Talk to me, Ryan. What’s really going on?” When Ryan didn’t answer, his dad crossed his arms over his chest, tucking a hand under each armpit. “You want to play, right? You love it?”
Ryan looked away. “Sure. I mean, I’ve always loved it. And it’ll be fine—”
His dad’s eyes went wide. “Fine? Hang on now. Playing pro ball is ten times more intense than college. The only people who survive the majors are the ones who want to play ball more than they want to breathe. This isn’t something you do because it’s fine. You gotta be driven. Up until now, you’ve played against some good teams, had your challenges, but in the majors everyone’s the best, every game’s the highest level of play. And you have to be the best all the time. You have to want this with everything in you.”
“I know that.”
“Tell me something. If you didn’t play ball, what would you do?”
He’d never told his dad about his work. “I’ve been writing apps.” He forced a laugh. “Me and ten million other people.”
“Putting that computer science minor to use, huh?”
“Yeah.” He felt this ridiculous need for his dad to understand him—and give him advice—something he’d never done before.
Big Bill blew out a breath, shoulders sagging. “Don’t know if you remember this, but when you were a kid, you loved puzzles. More than anything. You’d get on your hands and knees and work on one puzzle board after another. Pieces all over the damn place. Your mom couldn’t stand it, so she threw them all out. Then Gramps got you into Legos. And that was it. You remember? Always building shit. Pieces everywhere. Your mom went nuts.” He barked out a laugh, his breath a white fog in the cold evening air. “She came into the kitchen one morning, a weird…” He circled a finger around his cheek. “Impression on her face. I thought she’d hurt herself. Turns
out she’d passed out on a pile of your Legos. That was the end of that toy.”
Ryan remembered. “Yeah. I was so pissed. I really lost it, didn’t I?”
“Never seen anything like it. You were a wildcat, all right. But, damn, Ryan, you had a right to be angry. She threw out the things you loved most.”
All that crazy anger had died down after he’d started Little League. Well, after his mom had left.
“Thing is, you used to take everything apart. You didn’t put anything back together, but you’d take apart radios and telephones. Man, you drove your mom batshit crazy. Not because you were doing anything wrong, of course. You were a kid. But because she couldn’t deal with it.” He shrugged, looking pained. “That’s an alcoholic, right? No coping skills. But, anyway, it was no surprise to me you chose computer science. In fact, I can remember smiling when you told me you wanted to major in it. It just felt…right.”
“I like it.”
“Do you?” His dad seemed genuinely interested.
“I like the challenge. The mental challenge. Baseball…”
“Not so challenging anymore. Truth is, everything calmed down in the house after you settled on one sport. And I liked it. I didn’t stop to consider if it was something you wanted or not. It just…worked.”
“It did.”
Bill gazed down at the slate walkway. “Maybe it’s run its course. Shame to see you walk away from it. Damn, watching you play that field.” His dad blew out a breath. “You’re a fine athlete, son. And a good man.” He looked troubled. “Can’t say I had much to do with it. That’s not lost on me.”
“Know what’s not lost on me? My big decision is whether to enter the draft and become a Major League ball player or move on and get a job in computer science with a Michigan University degree.”
His dad barked out a laugh. “Good point. Hell of a good point. You’re gonna be all right, son.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
The ballroom of the Beverly Hills hotel sparkled with bejeweled guests. Crystal chandeliers hung over white linen-draped tables and tea candles glowed and flickered in clear glass holders.
A waiter leaned in. “Finished?”
Leaning back, Sophie let him take her plate. She didn’t bother eating food she didn’t like, so she nodded. Dry chicken and limp, julienned vegetables just didn’t do it for her.
Laura squeezed her hand, forcing her attention back on the podium, where King stood addressing the room of hundreds of philanthropic citizens of Beverly Hills. Her mom had been honored ten years ago. Of course, as an eleven-year-old Sophie hadn’t attended, but every day as she walked the long hallway to her bedroom she passed the picture of her glamorous mom holding the plaque and standing between the mayor and the president of Head Start.
Sophie pushed her chair back to give King her full attention. With his tousled blonde hair and tan skin, he looked like a surfer. Boyish and charming, he’d made a wonderful first boyfriend. He’d loved her as best he could, which hadn’t been easy for a guy who’d come from such a dysfunctional family.
When he’d found out her sister had bailed on her for this event, King had offered to come. She appreciated his loyalty and enduring affection more than she could say. For some reason, he’d been extra sweet all day. Nostalgic, even.
It had made her wonder if he was thinking of getting back with her. But that ship had sailed. If only…nope. Not going to think about Ryan O’Donnell. His relentless attempts to contact her boiled down to one thing. Guilt. He couldn’t stand upsetting people. He’d upset her, so he needed to make it right. To make her like him again. Well, she liked him plenty, but she was looking forward—not back. He could just deal with it.
Her chest ached under the weight of her lie. It took everything she had not to answer his call. Return his text. She missed him with her whole heart.
King must’ve touched the microphone, because it screeched. He laughed, raising his hands in surrender. “Sorry. But, yeah, I mean, she never gives up, man. That’s the thing about her. Sophie gives her heart to something and that’s it. She’s in. No matter what I was doing or where I was in the world, I always knew I had her right there for me. She’s one of the nicest, most generous, people I know. So…I don’t know, man, she listens, and she cares. And there’s not a lot of people like that. And, you know, she was my best friend. I hope she still is. So, yeah, that’s my Soph.” He raised his champagne flute and gave her his lazy smile.
Applause cracked the silence, and all eyes turned to her. Heat washed through her, and she gave a little wave, just like her mom used to do when she was honored for her work. Only her mom loved the attention. Sophie wanted to slide under the table and make a tablecloth fort.
The mayor resumed her place at the podium. “Thank you, King.”
Oh, good, her time in the spotlight was over. They could move onto the next honoree.
“I’m going to the ladies’ room,” she whispered to Laura.
But before she could push her chair back, a hand settled at the back of her neck. King collapsed into the chair beside her.
“Thank you.” She reached for his hand, clasped it. “That was sweet. And thanks for coming here tonight.”
“Anything for you, Soph.” He smiled, his cheeks as pink as if he’d just come off the slopes. He looked at her a little too long. “I can’t believe you’re moving to Montana.”
“I’m excited.” Why did he look so sad? They hadn’t been together in a year and a half.
“I’m gonna miss you.”
“Are you kidding? I’m going to Big Sky, the biggest ski resort in the country. And I’m buying a house big enough to fit all you bums.”
She was excited about the move. She’d narrowed her search down to a few houses big enough to accommodate all her friends when they visited, but she had so many things to get done—moving was overwhelming. At least it kept her mind busy, so she didn’t waste time thinking about—
The mayor’s voice broke through her thoughts. “…shortstop for the Michigan Devils, Mr. Ryan O’Donnell.”
What? Sophie spun around in her seat to see Ryan climbing the steps to the podium.
Ryan.
She stared at him, those broad shoulders, that devastating smile. What’s he doing here?
“Did you know about this?” She leaned into Laura.
“Of course.”
“And you didn’t tell me?”
“Nope.”
She sat back in her seat, stunned. “I don’t understand.”
“Sure you do.” King spoke close to her ear, and she turned to face him. And then she understood the sadness. He got that she’d moved on. For good this time.
She gave his arm a squeeze. They shared a warm smile, and then she turned back when she heard that deep, sexy voice.
“I haven’t known Sophie as long as King or Laura, but in the short time I’ve had with her, she’s done more to wake me up than anyone else in my life. I guess we all have our sad stories, but unlike the rest of us, Sophie doesn’t let hers define her. And that’s because she’s the strongest person I know. She faces her issues head on, deals with them, and then goes out and lives life on her own terms. And in the process of living, she touches the people around her. And you can’t help but be changed by her. As Helping Hands knows when she provides the material and organizes the making of blankets, socks, and scarves for the homeless. I mean, how many people would’ve thought to go into senior housing centers, mother’s groups, and book clubs to see if they’d be interested in making blankets?”
He looked around the room. “She could write checks—she’s a Valentine—but that’s not enough for her. Some of us see a problem in the world and feel bad, but we carry on with our lives. Some write a check, hoping someone else will take care of it. Some even get their hands in there, showing up on Thanksgiving to serve food at the shelter. But how many people stop and think the problem through? Come up with viable solutions? Not that many. But Sophie does. Because people matter to her. Deeply. Sh
e’s looking at me right now like I’ve lost my mind. But I haven’t lost anything. I’ve found something. Someone. Sophie…”
In the weighted moment, Sophie could feel the tension in the audience as they waited to hear what he had to say.
“I know we live at opposite ends of the country. We’re both just graduating college and we have big life decisions to make. It seems like we’ve got too many complications for us to work. But the thing is, it’s always going to be like that. We’re always going to have big decisions to make. Life never runs smoothly. So, really, who do you want beside you at those turning points? When you find someone—the one—you grab hold of her.”
Sophie stopped breathing. Her hand automatically went to her heart. “Did he just say I’m ‘the one?’” she whispered to Laura.
Her friend smiled, keeping her attention on Ryan.
“No matter the obstacles, you face them together. Because, ultimately, nothing else will ever matter as much as being with the people you love. And, Sophie, make no mistake, I love you.” He drew in a breath that looked like it hurt, and he looked right at her. “I don’t have any answers about our future, Soph, but I do know I want it to be ours.”
Oh, my God. Her heart thundered. Was this really happening? Ryan was in Beverly Hills, declaring his love for her? And then she felt strong hands on her arms, lifting her. King gave her a little push, and it took a moment for her mind to fit back into her body, but once it did, she was off. Heart pounding, blood roaring, she moved around the tables, as the audience clapped and cheered. But she only had eyes for one man. The one jumping off the stage, racing toward her. Lifting the hem of her gown, she ran straight into that hard wall of muscle. He caught her up in those arms she’d never thought she’d feel again.
Oh, God. She was back in his arms, and nothing had ever felt so right.
She turned her mouth into his neck, breathing in his familiar scent. “You’re here.”
“The only place I want to be.”
“But nothing’s changed.”