Protective older-sister mode kicked in and she immediately hugged her from behind, nestling her nose against her shoulder.
“It’s okay, Laney. I’m not going to tell anyone. This isn’t a bad thing.”
Laney tensed at first, but eventually relaxed as she exhaled. “Mama would say it is a bad thing.”
“Mama doesn’t know what she’s talking about. The world we live in now is very different from the one she grew up in. Love has no boundaries for our generation, Laney. I’m not saying it’s love,”—she added upon hearing Laney’s breath of apprehension—“but it’s not a sin to be attracted to Benji if you are. He’s a guy, you’re a girl—nothing wrong with it.”
“But he wasn’t always—”
“Don’t.” Lydia pleaded, squeezing her eyes shut and holding on to her sister tightly. “Don’t say it, Laney. It’s not true. He’s always been a boy. I’ve always been a girl. Somebody got our packaging wrong, but we fixed it. Benji has always been Benji and I have always been Lydia.”
“I know.” Laney sighed and slowly turned around to face her, wrapping her arms around her in return. “It’s just new. It’s unexpected. I’m scared.”
“It’s okay to be scared,” Lydia whispered, pressing her cheek against her sister’s. “But I’m here for you. I know I wasn’t always...”—her throat began to tighten—“But I am now, okay? You don’t have to be scared alone.”
She didn’t even realize it before then, but Laney was crying. Her tears wetting Lydia’s cheek and the trembling of her sobs shook her to the core. Pulling back quickly, Lydia began to wipe her tears away as quickly as she could.
“What’s the matter, Laney? Why are you crying? Please don’t cry.”
“I...I need to tell you something.” Laney whispered, her lips quivering as she glanced at the ceiling—an effort to stop crying—Lydia had done it many times herself.
“Okay. You can tell me.”
“Not in here. I don’t want anyone else to hear it.” Laney grabbed her hand and pulled her into her bedroom, closing the door and even going as far to lock it.
Lydia became even more concerned as she watched her sister hug her arms around herself protectively, pacing back and forth.
“What’s going on, Laney?”
“I need to tell you something.” She repeated. “I just don’t know how to.”
“Okay.” Lydia stated calmly. “Just start slowly and remember to breathe.”
It was weird seeing her sister so out of sorts. Laney had always been calm, collected, and organized. She never let anything get her worked up like this. It had to be something pretty major if it was making her behave in such a way, and it only made Lydia want to help her more.
Sucking in a deep breath, Laney closed her eyes and exhaled slowly, nodding as if she was trying to motivate herself for whatever was about to happen. Her actions, however, did not calm Lydia one bit.
“As you know, Devin and I broke up a while ago.”
“Yes.”
“And we dated for a record time—four months.”
“Yes, and?”
“Before him I dated Jonny Alsip for about two months.”
“Jonny Alsip? The boy who wore the same t-shirt for two weeks straight?”
“Yes, but he wears different clothes every day now—ugh. Lydia, you’re getting me off topic!”
“Sorry. Continue.”
“Okay, so I don’t date guys for very long.” She stopped pacing and turned to face Lydia again. Her face paled as she swallowed hard and began rubbing her arm nervously. “Mama was always under the impression I was just playing the field, you know? Weighing out my options before I settle down.”
“Uh huh.”
“But that ain’t the truth. My whole life has been a lie!” She wailed, throwing herself down on her bed like a 5-year-old. “I’m a fraud, Lydia.”
“Whoa. Calm down.” Lydia quickly sat down on the bed, rubbing her sister’s back in soothing circles—something their mother had often done for them when they were little. “You are not a liar, Laney. I’ve never known of you to lie, ever. What makes you say that?”
“Things.” Was her sister’s muffled reply.
“What kind of things? You’re not a fraud for wanting to weigh out your options. Lots of young people date a lot to figure out what they like. It’s natural.”
“But I do know what I like!” Laney sobbed, lifting her head to glare at her. “I’m just not supposed to like it, okay?”
Lydia’s eyes grew big and her mouth formed a small ‘o’, but she was unable to respond as it finally clicked in her head.
“Exactly.” Laney sniffled, reading her sister’s expression. “Yes, that. You know, don’t you? Of course you know. God, what am I going to do? Mama is going to hate me, too.”
Ouch.
So Laney was basically saying she wasn’t into men? At least not the men she’d dated? Or was she saying she was a lesbian and now she was confused because of Benji?
As she tried to decipher her sister’s words, a knock sounded on the door.
“Hey, you two. What are you in there doing?” Agnes asked from the other side. “The guys are back with the ice. We need to put on our costumes before your guests arrive.”
Gazing back at Laney, Lydia gave her a sympathetic smile. “Just a minute, Ags. We’ll be right out.”
“Okay, baby. We’ll be waiting for you.”
Waiting until she heard Agnes’ footsteps fade away, Lydia scooted closer and pulled her sister into a hug.
“No matter what it is that you discover you like most, Laney, I want you to remember it’s not wrong. Whatever you want, you deserve. Love doesn’t know gender. Love doesn’t understand what used to be or what is; it only understands what could be and what should be.”
“But I don’t want anybody to hate me.” Laney sobbed, burying her face against her shoulder. “I can’t endure what you have, Lydia. You’ve been so brave and you fought for what you wanted. I’m not that strong.”
“Yes, you are.” She stroked her hair, rocking her from side to side like a small child. “And you can. Jeb and I won’t ever leave your side. We’ve got your back, Laney. You’re our sister.”
“But Mama...”
“Fuck Mama.” She said bluntly, surprising herself. “She’s hated me for over half my life, Laney. I’ll always be her biggest disappointment and I have to accept that, but I don’t believe she’s got it in her to hate both of her daughters. You’ve always been her favorite.”
“Jeb’s her favorite.” She mumbled. “He gets away with murder.”
“True.” Lydia giggled. “But you are her daughter. Her...her real daughter.” God, it hurt to say that, but she knew it was the truth. In their mother’s eyes, Laney was her only real daughter.
“You’re her real daughter, too.” Laney said in defense. “No matter what she says, Lydia, you’re just as much her daughter as I am. Nothing can change that.”
“Exactly,” Lydia agreed. “Nothing can change that you are her daughter. Nothing can change the love we have for you. Mama will just have to live with it.”
“But what if she doesn’t? What if she disowns me, too?”
“Then we can be disowned together.”
“And...” Laney sniffed and wiped at her eyes, pulling away from Lydia to collect herself. “What happens when I finally find someone I connect with, someone I want to be with?”
“That’s easy.” Cupping her cheek gently, Lydia ran her thumb over Laney’s quivering bottom lip and smiled in spite of her own tears. “Be with them. As someone wise once told me, love is a wonderful, extraordinary thing and everyone deserves to experience its wonders.”
As they embraced, Lydia couldn’t help but to think about how special the night was going to truly be.
Tonight she would finally let Callum into her heart fully and she knew there was no turning back.
—————
The party went off without a hitch. Their small get together became loud and joyous j
ust a little past nine and Lydia was grateful to spend her first Halloween home with her brother, sister, and closest friends.
Tula and Paul showed up just after eight and Lydia was delighted to see they’d obliged her request for an Avengers-themed get-together. Tula was dressed as Pepper Potts and Paul was dressed as Tony Stark, fancy suit and sunglasses included. They brought a bottle of expensive wine and that earned them a lot of praise from Laney aka the female version of Captain America, as she grabbed the bottle and never let it go.
Lydia sincerely hoped her sister would be okay after their heart-to-heart, but she tried to keep an eye on her as Laney kept distance between herself and Benji, who was dressed as Hawkeye and completely oblivious to the turmoil happening around him.
Agnes, dressed as Loki was trying to get everyone pumped up for some karaoke by hooking up a mic and slurring into it, rambling on and on about how Broadway had missed out on true talent when they rejected his auditions. All Lydia could do was roll her eyes and smile, busying herself with removing more cookies from the oven.
She truly hoped some kids would stop by for candy. It was one of her favorite things about Halloween.
However, the tight leather of her costume was making it a little difficult to bend. Grunting in frustration, she stretched her legs out awkwardly and leaned over with a mitt in hand, yelping in surprise when someone pressed up against her ass.
“Hulk like.” Callum said in a deep, raspy voice. “Hulk really like.”
“Callum!” She laughed, quickly straightening up and inching away from him. “I thought you said you were going to behave.”
Turning to peer up at his green face, she couldn’t help but smile. He looked damn near edible with his tattered white shirt hanging open, chiseled physique on display for the world.
The ice company has been good to him. She thought as her eyes snapped back up to his.
“I thought you could use some help.” He grinned. “As much as I’m enjoying the view, I’m sure you don’t want the cookies to burn.”
I’d let them burn. She decided, twirling a lock of red hair around her finger. It was a wig for Christ’s sake, but damn it, he made her feel like a schoolgirl when he leaned in like that, flirting with her. The scent of his cologne tickled her nostrils and sent her mind into a frenzy of lustful, dirty thoughts.
“So what do you say, Miss Romanoff? Want me to grab your cookies?” He asked in a seductive tone as his hands fell to rest against her waist.
Feeling a little tipsy from a glass of wine and a little naughty from his presence alone, Lydia found her courage and leaned in to rest her lips against his ear. “You can grab my cookies all you want to...later tonight.” She licked his earlobe and pulled away, finding great satisfaction from the expression on his face as she turned to walk away, swaying her hips in the process.
Her perfect execution of seduction, however, was interrupted and totally sabotaged when Thor—aka her brother—burrowed into the room with his hammer in the air, howling like a wild banshee.
Oh my god, he’s drunk. She thought, watching him stagger towards Agnes. And he’s going to sing...
“As the king of Asgard, I demand to sing!” He said, plucking the microphone from Agnes’ grasp. “Move over, treacherous brother of mine. The God of Thunder wants to sing!”
Everyone laughed at him as he tripped over his own feet and fell to the floor. Lydia worried about him for about two seconds before he hopped back up and began cheering as if he’d won an award.
“Your brother is a riot.” Benji said, suddenly appearing by her side. “Your family is really great, Lydia.”
“They are, aren’t they?” She asked, her eyes immediately seeking out Laney.
She was huddled in the corner, clinging to her precious bottle of wine as she watched the party from a safe distance. Her body kept leaning to one side and Lydia knew she’d probably had way past her limit, but it was Halloween and the girl deserved a drink if she wanted it.
She did come out to me today. Maybe she deserves a lot of drinks.
“Is your sister okay?”
“What?” Lydia blinked and stared at her friend, appreciating the concern in his eyes. Benji really was a good guy—that hadn’t been a lie. She wasn’t just trying to score points for him. He’d been there for her more times than she could count. His loyalty was fierce and his friendship was irreplaceable. Laney would be lucky to have him, as he would be lucky to have her.
She was trying desperately to ignore the urge to play matchmaker as she nodded. “She’ll be okay. She’s just trying to work through some stuff.”
“I know how that goes.” Benji shrugged. “Life’s a bitch sometimes.”
“But not always.”
“But sometimes.” He smiled.
Benji had one of the nicest smiles she’d ever seen. His blue eyes sparkled when he smiled and the cutest dimple in existence became visible on his left cheek. If Lydia didn’t view him as a brother of sorts, she probably would have tried dating him back when they first met.
The thought now was preposterous though, and plus, she had eyes for another.
And she was gazing at him longingly from across the room, observing the way his muscles rippled beneath his green-paint as he put a fresh batch of cookies into the oven.
“You’ve found it, haven’t you?”
Benji’s quiet question pulled her out of her dreamy daze and she gazed at him, smiling.
“I have.” She replied, blushing.
“Good. I’m glad.” He gave her a one-armed hug. “Gives me hope, I guess.”
“You should have hope, Ben. You’re wonderful and any woman would be lucky to have you.”
“Yeah?” He titled his head to the side, scratching the side of his neck nervously. “Tara didn’t think so.”
“Tara’s an idiot.”
“Yeah.” He nodded in agreement before motioning towards Laney with another quick jerk of his head. “You think she might ever feel that way?”
“Laney?” Her heart skipped a beat and her smile grew bigger. “Maybe. Why are you asking?”
“No reason in particular.” Benji dropped his gaze shyly.
Since when was bad-boy-tough-as-nails Benjamin Palmer shy?
“I see.” Lydia gasped, clamping her hand over her mouth to suppress an excited giggle. “Oh, I see very clearly!”
Benji lifted his head and stared at her with sudden panic. “Don’t say anything, okay? I’m serious, Lydia. She’s different and I know it and she’s your sister, but she’s pretty and fun to be around and I don’t want to mess anything up between us, so please just don’t say anything, okay?”
“Whoa, calm down. Easy there, fella.” She touched his arm and winked. “I won’t say anything. I promise I won’t.”
“Good.” He looked relieved as he eyed Laney again. “I don’t want to scare her away. If there’s even the slightest chance a girl like her could go for someone like me...”
“How do you know there isn’t a chance?”
“Why do you say that?” He blinked. “Is there a chance? Do you know if there’s a chance?”
“Maybe.” Lydia bounced up and down excitedly, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Happy Halloween, Benny.”
The doorbell chimed then and she squealed, startling Benji in the process.
“Trick-or-treaters!” She shouted, dashing into the kitchen to grab one of the zillion bowls of candy.
“Now the real fun begins.” Callum drawled as he leaned against the counter with a half-eaten cookie.
“Not quite,” she promised in a voice only loud enough for him to hear. “That will be later tonight, Bruce Banner. Just you wait and see.”
Chapter Seventeen
Lydia
It was almost three in the morning when Tula and Paul finally said goodnight and the party was officially over. Jeb, bless his heart, was passed out on the couch, snoring loudly. Lydia had put Laney to bed herself, listening to her sister sob softly before she eventually fell asleep.<
br />
She would forever be worried about her little sister, but she had to keep faith that Laney would find her way. Everyone found their way eventually.
“Oh, honey, we can’t take your room.” Agnes said, tugging at the collar of his costume. “You and Callum should go sleep in there. Benji and I don’t mind the living room again, do we?”
“Nope.” Benji replied simply, blinking his heavy eyelids. “I’m cool with your recliner. We’ve become friends.
“Nonsense.” Lydia shook her head, removing her wig and placing it on the counter. “Take my room. I don’t need it tonight.”
Her friends stared at her suspiciously before Benji gave her a sly, high-induced grin. “You’re going to get laid, aren’t you?”
“Shut up!” She hissed, glancing down the hallway nervously. Callum was washing his Hulk paint off, but there was still a chance he’d hear them.
“How many times do I have to tell you?” Benji asked, leaning against Agatha for support. “Sex is completely natural. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“I’m not ashamed; I just don’t want to announce it to the world.” Her face was on fire and her heart felt like it was going to burst.
Tonight was special to her and it was really important, too. Giving herself to Callum so fully was terrifying, but wonderful as well. She wanted it more than anything in the world—she just didn’t need the world to know.
“Fine, fine.” He snorted. “We’ll take the room. Thanks, cutie.”
“You’re welcome.” She kissed them both on the cheek and bid them goodnight, waiting nervously for Callum to exit the bathroom.
When he finally emerged, squeaky clean and back to his normal self, she was perched on a stool, munching on a candy bar. Upon seeing him, however, the candy bar was forgotten and she became nervous. Her knees trembled as their gazes met and he gave her a heart-stopping smile.
“Hey.” He said quietly, tip-toeing across the floor and putting his arms around her. “Everybody asleep?”
“Yeah.” She whispered back, leaning against him and closing her eyes. It felt like all of her nerve-endings were more than aware of what was about to happen. Liquid lava ran through her veins and the threat of passing out crossed her mind. Could someone really be so turned on that they fainted? “Are you ready to get out of here?”
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