by Andrea Wolfe
And unsurprisingly, his idea of a good time involved bending me forward and making me scream his name into the shower walls.
Yeah, it was definitely a good time. And no, the hot water didn't run out.
***
After coffee and breakfast, we ended up back in his room, sitting on the bed.
"Listen, I need to meet with them downstairs for like an hour, okay? I swear it won't take too long. They already know I'm taking the weekend off, but I still have to check in."
"Yeah, sure," I said. "I can just get on my laptop or whatever. I've got some shows to catch up with on Netflix."
"Cool," he said. "I'll be back, okay?"
"Okay." I nodded, and then he leaned forward and kissed me. Soon after, he jumped up and headed out into the hall, closing the door behind him.
I booted up my laptop and sat there in peaceful silence, waiting for the desktop to load. Everything felt so great, so incredibly perfect. I didn't have all the answers, but that didn't mean I wasn't happy.
When my desktop was finally loaded, I clicked on the internet icon and quickly realized I didn't have the Wi-Fi password. Since Jesse was only supposed to be downstairs for a short time, I also didn't feel comfortable interrupting him, not right now.
His Macbook Pro was sitting open on his desk, so I sat down and turned it on, hoping I could get the Wi-Fi password from it somehow. It booted up to a password screen, a password that, like the Wi-Fi one, I didn't have. I tried a couple of stupid phrases, but as I expected, they didn't work.
I shrugged and closed the lid.
I dug out my book and tried to read, but I felt too distracted to focus on anything in particular. My body felt twitchy, and my brain felt like it didn't fit inside my skull. I had an itch inside my ear and I promptly realized I was going to need a cotton swab.
And I didn't have any.
I walked into the bathroom and opened the top drawers. No swabs. I opened all of the lower drawers one at a time, giving their contents a cursory glance, not wanting to dig too deeply in case he had something embarrassing hidden in there.
After failing to find anything inside the drawers, I arrived at the doors beneath the sink. I opened them and peered inside—and felt ambiguous panic surge through me.
There was a cardboard box filled with bottles of girly conditioner and shampoo. Acne medication, eyeliner, mascara, blackhead removal strips. It was a full arsenal of feminine beauty and cleaning products, everything haphazardly thrown into the mysterious Box Beneath the Sink.
I abruptly closed the doors, trying to shield myself from the sudden discovery. It didn't make any sense; these were the kind of things he specifically said he didn't have.
But after a minute, I reopened them, wanting to figure out if I had lost my mind.
It was all still there. I shut the doors again.
"What the hell?" I said to myself.
Once again, my imagination ran wild, but I fought to quickly shut it down. Maybe he just liked girly products and didn't want to tell me. That wasn't a huge deal. A little strange, but that's it.
Maybe they were left over from someone in the past, one of his exes who had lived here with him.
Yeah, that made sense. But the fact that he didn't offer them to me in the shower didn't add up either. If they were discarded by someone else, he should have—
Maybe he just forgot.
Yeah, that seemed plausible. I had stuff beneath my own sink that I had forgotten about too. I pinched my cheek. "Get yourself together," I scolded at that familiar face in the mirror. I splashed my cheeks with water and then got the hell out of the bathroom before anything else weird happened.
I groaned as I lay down on the bed and stared up at the unmoving ceiling fan. I was losing it. Jesse had blown my mind so much that I was actually losing touch with reality.
That's exactly what was going on. Everything was so new and fresh and different and I couldn't even begin to comprehend it without excessive suspicion. And since we didn't have a clear plan for the future, my mind was rushing into full paranoia mode.
Control yourself, Naomi. He said he loves you, right?
I grabbed my cell phone and looked at the time—only about twenty minutes had passed. I had at least forty more to go. And it was very possible the meeting would run over.
I took some deep breaths and held them in until my heart slowed down.
This was just a stupid misunderstanding. I would ask him about it, and he would clear things up immediately. I mean, Jesse was a guy I had a history with, a guy who had been closer to me than anyone else for a long time. We had shared all of our secrets, celebrated the good times, lamented and cursed the bad ones.
I used to be able to ask him anything, so why couldn't I do that now? Maybe it was a bit of a leap in logic to assume that things would go back to the way they used to be—we were sleeping together now, after all—but I needed to calm down.
The thought finally assuaged my fears. I didn't even know what I was afraid of, to be honest. I guess it was just the uncertainty.
Realizing that I had no way to get online and also no way to solve my current puzzle, I put my head down against the pillow and tried to nap.
I fell into many short-lived, fitful bouts of sleep until finally, I reached something deeper.
***
Thud!
"Huh?" I bolted up abruptly.
"Oh, shit," Jesse said. "I'm sorry, the meeting went way over. I didn't know you were sleeping. I'm sorry I startled you." He slowly sipped from a mug in his hand.
I rubbed my eyes and glanced out the window—the sun had moved significantly since I dozed off. "How long has it been?"
"Two and a half hours. We ended up having to do a Skype conference call with some of the guys from London. I should have come up and told you, but I got so into business mode that I completely forgot."
"It's okay," I said. "I caught up on sleep."
He sat down next to me on the bed and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I cuddled up to him, cuddled up to that familiar warm and safe place.
"So what have you been doing?" he asked enthusiastically. "Well, other than sleeping."
I laughed. "Well, I tried to get online, but I didn't have the Wi-Fi password. So I tried to use your computer, but it also had a password."
"You snoop," he said firmly. "You were digging around my computer?"
"No!" I contested. "I couldn't even log on. I just closed the lid and left it." Was he really upset?
Maybe the mysterious stuff under the sink meant something after all...
Jesse started laughing, breaking the facade. I quickly relaxed. "I'm just kidding. I don't keep anything serious on there anyway. It's all stored in the cloud. Maybe a little bit of porn hidden away somewhere."
"Classy," I said, laughing. "Hidden away in a folder on the desktop called 'Porn' probably."
"Exactly. That's my style." He rubbed my back and massaged my shoulders.
I felt my muscles loosening, and with that feeling of relief, I decided to go for it. "I was snooping around in your bathroom for cotton swabs." I looked him right in the eyes and kept a half smile on my face. "What's with all the girly stuff you're hoarding under the sink? You'll sleep with me but you won't share your cucumber-melon shampoo?"
I studied his response carefully, but it was still vague. "Oh, that stuff," he said, breaking eye contact and looking down at his lap. "That was Stacy's. She never came back for it. I completely forgot I put it there."
My voice of reason scolded me without restraint. Yep, just stuff he forgot about. You spent all that time freaking out when it didn't matter at all.
I felt relieved. "Is she... one of your exes?"
He nodded. "Yeah. She left like... like five months ago." His tone wavered as he spoke. "I've been single ever since."
"So what happened? I mean, with her leaving?"
Jesse glanced around somewhat nervously. "Uh..." He trailed off and cleared his throat. "It's kind of a long story. I mean
, typical reasons. We grew apart and started fighting a lot and doing very different things in our lives." He took a long drink from his mug. "But I don't want to talk about it right now though, Naomi. I'm having a really great time and I don't want to spoil it with stupid drama from the past."
I rubbed his shoulders just as he had rubbed mine. "That's fine. I'm sorry, Jesse," I said. "It just made me... nervous."
He kissed my cheek. "Naomi, I would never cheat on you. I love you. I don't have a secret girlfriend, I swear. And we can talk about Stacy some other time, okay?"
A sigh of relief escaped me. He had read my mind perfectly. "Yeah, sure."
Jesse visibly reset his expression into a smile and stood up and grabbed his computer. "Let's figure out a good place to eat," he said as he sat back down next to me and tilted the screen so I could see it.
"Yeah, okay."
He turned on his laptop and brought up Yelp.
"I'm already starving," he said. "Are you okay with eating soon? I was thinking about going to a club tonight. I know the DJ at this one place, and he plays really cool electronic music and the crowd is really good."
I yawned and straightened up my posture. "Well, I just got done with my nap. So I think I'm up for a late night."
"Great," he said. "So let's figure out what the hell we're gonna eat."
***
After a fair amount of deliberation—and a considerable amount of making out—we ended up at a gourmet burger joint in North End, stuffing ourselves with burgers, fries, onion rings, and beer.
We were both in the mood for something greasy and simple, so it was perfect.
Following dinner, we took the Red line to Cambridge, and then wandered around the Harvard and MIT campuses and surrounding regions on foot. The area was beautiful, and I was thrilled to have a tour guide as hot as Jesse Evans.
The whole evening was perfect, so idyllic and simple. We held hands and strolled through the chilly night, staying close to share warmth. It was great.
Right as we were about to end our college campus journey, Jesse got a text. After he read it, he looked up at me. "Do you want to stop at a party real quick? Say hello, take some free booze, and then head back into the city?"
I nodded. "That sounds fine."
"Okay."
Jesse took me to meet several friends of his at MIT, guys who were still living on campus in a frat house. He warned me beforehand that it might be a little crazy—while I didn't go to college myself, I had been to plenty of college parties and genuinely knew how out of control they could be—but I was kind of shocked when I got there.
There was a guest list and people acting as ushers at the door. Jesse was on the list, so we got in without any trouble. It was a really controlled, calm environment. People were dancing in the huge living room, not causing problems, not fighting, not smashing beer bottles, not puking in the sink.
The floor was a bit messy, but that was to be expected at parties.
Jesse introduced me to some of his friends; unfortunately, I couldn't hear much of the conversation over the loud music. One of the hosts, Trevor, red-haired, skinny, and tall, kind of vaguely resembled Conan O'Brien. That's the only reason why I remembered his name.
"He's like, a brilliant engineer," Jesse told me on the side. "He's gonna work at NASA next year."
"Whoa!" I shouted back.
"He was like a child prodigy and stuff."
I nodded and diligently sipped my red cup of beer.
We weren't there long, and I was actually pretty relieved when we finally left since I felt a bit alienated from Jesse due to our communication difficulties.
"Sorry about that," Jesse said, fully aware of my annoyance.
"I feel bad," I said. "I mean, I just couldn't hear anything. That was all. It was fine otherwise. It was fun."
He laughed. "I might be getting too old for this too," he admitted.
"Says the guy that's taking us to a club now."
"It's like an adult club, not a college kid club."
"So it's like a strip club?" I retorted playfully. "Are there going to be topless babes?"
"Only you in my bed tonight," he growled.
I shivered, both from arousal and a well-timed breeze that hit me at that exact moment. I was having a great time.
The club was awesome, just as he had promised, and we danced and drank the night away. It was honestly some of the coolest music I had ever heard. Jesse introduced me to the DJ, James, a heavily tattooed guy with a chipped front tooth who immediately offered us drugs.
While Arielle probably would have said yes, Jesse did not, and I was happy about that. Everything was under control, minus our increasing blood alcohol levels—and the fact that I wanted Jesse more than anything.
Despite all of the odds against us, we lasted all the way until two, and then rushed home. It quickly dawned on us how badly we reeked of booze and sweat as we sat in the back of the taxi wishing desperately that we were instead naked together in bed.
Jesse led me inside and up the stairs. Surprisingly, no one was working in the living room. After his door was locked behind us, we ripped off each other's clothes and then basically fell into the shower. The hot water was amazing, and we were basically having sex by the end, neither of us able to control our hands and fingers and lips and tongues...
And then, after quickly drying off, we tumbled into bed together. Jesse's full weight pressed against me, his perfect length as deep as it could go.
And I loved it.
32
I awoke to the sound of laughing. I rubbed my eyes and looked up—Jesse was naked and kneeling beside me, grinning. I was naked on the floor, and I felt really sore everywhere. The previous night's sex had been super intense and incredible... as usual.
"Damn, you were really drunk, weren't you? There was plenty of room in the bed."
I dug through my fuzzy, throbbing brain for a second. I vaguely remembered getting up to use the bathroom at sunrise and being unable to get back into bed because he wouldn't budge. Yeah, that was it.
I laughed and cleared my throat. "You were hogging the whole bed! I went to the bathroom and you wouldn't let me back in. I didn't want to disturb the little sleeping angel."
He laughed and then frowned. "I'm sorry. I swear I didn't mean it. You can just nudge me next time." He lay down beside me, and cuddled his warm flesh against mine. "You're ice cold."
"I'm also completely naked on the floor," I mumbled. I scooted closer to him and looked up into his eyes. In those beautiful eyes was everything I had wanted and needed, and then some. I almost didn't want to keep looking at him because the vulnerability scared me.
Jesse lowered his head and kissed me deeply, running a hand through my hair, gently toying with my nipple. Goose bumps broke out along my flesh, tiny dots that tingled and spread. I kissed back intensely, raking my lips and cheeks against his fresh stubble.
I felt him hardening against my thigh, and with that knowledge, my soreness returned with a vengeance. I shifted uncomfortably and broke the kiss. "Jesse, I don't know if I can handle another round right now. I'm... sorry."
"Shh," he whispered in my ear. "This is just for you."
He crawled his hand along my body until it was right against my clit. And so perfectly it circled, the pressure exactly right. My back arched, and I let out a long, soft whimper. His words echoed in my brain, over and over again, tormenting me with their brevity.
It's just for me.
Jesse worked so gently, warming me up, heightening the sensations. He tweaked my nipple harder, the sharp growing pleasure blending with his fingers below.
"Jesse," I moaned, so softly that it was almost inaudible. But I knew he heard it.
I knew he heard everything.
Slowly and delicately he worked, prolonging that sweet torture, drowning my body in a rushing sea of pleasure. I couldn't open my eyes; it was as if they had been glued shut.
"Come, Naomi," he whispered. "Come only for me."
&nb
sp; The words haunted me. They pulsed through my veins like hot blasts of adrenaline. I was totally exposed to him, totally vulnerable to his whims.
The intensity of his fingers increased dramatically, but it wasn't overbearing. No, it was perfect. My heart pounded and then suddenly, I was writhing there on the floor, pressed against him like our bodies were magnetic.
I came hard. And I came only for him.
"You're completely perfect," he growled. He edged me toward a second peak, and once I got there, I felt my strength fading. My muscles relaxed, my body became limp. He cradled me, peppering my cheeks with desperate kisses.
Nothing and everything made perfect sense. And then the need hit me like caffeine addiction.
"Jesse, just one more time. Be quick," I pleaded, opening my eyes for just a second. "I need to feel you inside of me. Please be quick."
"I will," he answered delicately.
Still reeling from my own climax, I felt him slide into me, my legs spreading wide for him. I looked up into those burning eyes, and I saw him—I saw the man I wanted more than anything else on earth.
My walls stretched to accommodate him, the soreness immediately pronounced. But he moved quickly, aggressively, holding me against the floor. Jesse pumped faster and faster, and I was all his.
Finally, after a couple of minutes, he groaned, and I felt him twitching and spilling into me. And it felt better than anything ever had. I watched him grimace, watched his back arch as he plunged into the deepest parts of me and gave me everything he had.
He pulled out quickly, sparing me any further discomfort. His chest heaved against mine. He hugged me tightly, our bodies slowly rocking against the floor.
"I fucking love you, Naomi."
"I fucking love you, too," I said with zero hesitation.
It was real.
It was so real.
***
The goodbye felt like I was re-watching a movie where the hero tragically died at the end—you knew it was coming, it couldn't be stopped, it was terribly sad, and the only way to hide from the dismal spectacle was to close your eyes and cover your ears.