by Andrea Wolfe
I stopped fighting it and learned to appreciate the possibilities.
So basically everything in my life changed—except for Arielle. She was always consistent, always the same. Capricious and loving, exactly how I liked her. A couple years after I left, she started working for a fashion magazine and totally loved it.
She also started dating her boss, an indication that her free spirited principles of living hadn't faded at all. She had described their relationship as "a bit scandalous." Shortly after landing the new job, she had surprised me with a visit, and it had been great.
It was like nothing had changed at all, even though everything had.
Elise opened her own salon, and was apparently doing quite well. It was tough for a business to survive in such a big city, yet she was thriving.
Still, the craziest part of everything—well, maybe not crazier than the millions of dollars—was my family. After I got the news about UC Davis, Jesse and I had flown straight home and surprised our parents. It was a trip we had planned forever, but hadn't ever taken. I was incredibly nervous about reconciliation, but Jesse had been so supportive and encouraging I couldn't say no.
I had called my dad before I moved to California, and kept him up to date on my school stuff as I rapidly progressed through undergrad. But this was far bigger news than that.
***
Arriving at my house, hand linked with Jesse's as we walked up the sidewalk, the surreal aspect of the experience hit me hard. The last time we had been there together was over ten years prior—and now we weren't just friends, we were a serious couple.
"Are you ready?" Jesse asked.
I shrugged and took a deep breath. "Yeah. As ready as I'm ever going to be."
I knocked on the door, even though I still had my key from so long ago. I saw my dad excitedly passing by the window as he rushed to greet us. The door swung open.
"Naomi!" he said, lunging forward and hugging me.
"Dad! You look great," I said. His black hair had a little more grey in it, but not much. And he also looked skinnier than the last time I had seen him. "Have you been working out?"
"We got a treadmill," he said. "Your mom and I love it." He smiled at Jesse. "And Mr. Entrepreneur! How are you doing, Jesse?"
They shook hands, and I could tell it was a very firm handshake. "Mr. Miller! I'm great. Just living one day at time."
"Please, call me Brian," my dad said, smiling. "You're making me feel too old. And come in!"
We headed in and got situated in the living room. I could smell chicken from the kitchen. And then my mom came into the living room.
"Naomi! Jesse!" She gave us a big smile. I gave her a hug, and despite the fact that it felt good, I knew it was only the start. It looked like she had just come from the salon because her red hair was freshly cut, colored, and styled. Actually, it was a pretty hip haircut and it looked great on her.
"Hi, mom! Your hair looks great. Did you just get it done?"
"I did, just this afternoon. I told my stylist to try something new."
"Well, I love it!" I said.
"Hi, Mrs. Miller," Jesse said.
"Jesse Evans!" she said warmly, hugging him briefly. "You're all grown up! And call me Carolyn."
I offered to help with dinner, but she refused. So I talked with my dad and Jesse in the living room until dinner was ready.
"Oh, we've got a surprise," my dad said, jumping out of his chair. He disappeared down the hall to their bedroom.
I heard the tiny footsteps, and then, boom, there was a goldendoodle puppy in my lap, the cutest puppy I had ever seen.
"Sandy!" my dad yelled. "Get down."
"Aww!" I said, petting while her tail wagged chaotically on my lap. "Sandy! Hi, Sandy!" She licked my face and then jumped on Jesse's lap. "How long have you had her?"
"Four months," my dad said. "We wanted to surprise you."
"Well, it worked," I said, grinning, trying to get Sandy away from Jesse.
"She keeps things interesting around here. She loves stealing my socks whenever I'm on the phone. Well, whenever I'm not paying attention to her."
"And we find socks all over the house," my mom called from the kitchen.
Seeing their puppy further reinforced my decision to become a veterinarian. I knew it wouldn't be that rosy all the time, but that wouldn't make the good moments any less poignant.
I was smitten.
My dad looked happier than I'd ever seen him before when I gave him the news about school, like I had just told him he had won the lottery.
"You got into UC Davis? I can't believe it, honey. That's such a great school!" He was totally ecstatic. "Did you hear that Carolyn?" he called. "Our daughter is going to UC Davis!"
"That's wonderful," my mom said, smiling.
On top of that, I was also dating a guy with a serious business; my dad promised to track Dolphin daily with the rest of his stock portfolio. He even planned to buy shares at the initial public offering.
"The stock analysts won't shut up about Dolphin," he had said. "Might be the pick of the year." Despite all the constant praise, Jesse always remained humble, usually just attributing his success to the other guys in the company.
"It was my concept," he said as always, "but their hard work. I would have nothing without them."
We all sat down to eat after that, conversing like nothing had ever changed. It felt good and natural.
It felt like home.
Jesse and I had decided that we would stay overnight at our respective homes to keep things uncontroversial. And also so I had some time alone to resolve things with my mom.
After dinner, things died down. "I'm going to head home," Jesse said eventually. "But I'll be back tomorrow, okay?"
"Yeah," I said. "I'll walk you to your car."
My parents said goodbye to him and we headed outside, stopping at the car.
"So you're gonna have the talk?" he asked.
I crossed my arms over my chest. "Yeah. Well, I hope so."
"It'll be fine, Naomi. Everything seems... different. Better. They're happy."
I hugged him. "I'm just hoping for the best," I said.
"Well, call or text me, okay? I love you." He gave me a firm kiss.
"I love you, too."
I waved as he backed the rental car out of the driveway. And then I went inside, feeling like I was on a mission.
"Do you want to see the treadmill?" my mom said. "It's pretty fancy. I can show you how to use it."
"Yeah, sure." I wondered if I should say something, but I couldn't make up my mind.
We walked down those familiar stairs together, one at a time, until we were in the basement. It had been totally redone. New carpet, new lighting, new furniture.
"Wow," I said. "It looks incredible down here."
"Thanks," she said. "I thought it could use a little updating. We finished it last summer."
She showed me the treadmill in the corner, and yeah, it was a really complex device. Lots of workouts and features and options. Still, it was hard for me to pay attention. Finally, when there was nothing more to explain, she stopped and looked at me.
"Naomi, we need to talk."
"Sure," I said, my heart racing a bit.
We sat down on the new couch together.
"I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I know it's... it's finally time."
I nodded along. "Yeah, okay."
"I'm so sorry for what I did," she said, frowning. "I think about those words I said every single day and wish that I had done it all differently. You were too young for all of that stuff with Mason. I relived that moment a thousand times in my mind, over and over again, wishing I could have changed it." She swallowed hard. "It's been so lonely since you left. And... I didn't think you'd ever come back."
I could see the tears forming in her eyes, and it got to me quickly. "It's okay, mom," I said, also starting to cry. "I forgive you. I really missed you."
"I was so out of line. And I'm still
so ashamed. It wasn't... a godly thing to do. I love you, but I still treated you that way. It was just... terrible."
"It was a hard time for all of us," I said, fighting the urge to sob. "But everything's fine now. I love you so much, mom."
We cried and hugged until the world seemed okay again. I could tell she had really changed—it was the most obvious thing on earth. More than anything, it was good to feel that mother/daughter relationship again, one based upon unconditional love instead of rigid expectations. I didn't realize how much I missed it until it was back.
But I also knew it wouldn't be the same. I was grown up now, an adult, finally doing something exciting with my life. I was going to be a veterinarian! I had a successful, rich, talented boyfriend who loved me just as much as I loved him.
I felt closure.
I felt whole again.
***
Things went well with Jesse's parents too, although they kept asking when we were going to get married.
"When things settle down," we both kept saying, and we meant it. I was definitely a little bit nervous about starting veterinary school—the plan was that I'd have an apartment in Davis and we'd visit each other on the weekends and any other free times—but I knew things would work out just fine because they always did. I would finish school, and then we'd get married.
I had finally learned to stop worrying and start trusting.
We even stopped in to see Donna. She had gone back to school and finished her social work degree. Now she had a great job working for the Department of Human Services, and she looked so proud when she talked about it, the same way she had looked when she talked about Mason.
We all reminisced about him together, and it felt right. It felt so right.
It didn't hurt so badly anymore, which meant we could finally let go and just celebrate him like he truly deserved—together.
Not long after we got back to California—and not long before I started school—Jesse proposed to me. He filled up the whole kitchen with roses and bought me a jaw-droppingly huge ring that he attached to the collar of a little corgi puppy with a pink bow on her head.
Let's just say I was excited.
"Oh my God!" I yelped. "Look at the little legs! She's so cute!" The puppy ran right at me as I kneeled and jumped into my arms—and that's when I noticed the ring. I plucked it off the collar and clutched it tightly. "Jesse!"
He smiled. "The distance might be a little tough at first, so this is my way of saying 'I'm not gonna give up on you no matter what.' And when you're done with school, we're going to build our dream house together and live happily ever after."
"Can I have my own attached clinic?" I asked jokingly, staring back at the man of my dreams through the fuzzy glimmer of tears while clutching the adorable little pup in my arms.
"We can definitely afford that. It might be harder to get permits and all that, but I'll make sure—"
"I was just kidding," I whined, cutting off his answer. "You don't have to be so damn perfect."
He smiled. "Well, if you want it, it's yours, Naomi," he said. "I mean that. Anything. Now what are we gonna name this little girl?"
"Penny!" I said. "Her name is Penny."
She jumped off my lap and ran straight to Jesse and he scooped her up into his arms. "Hi, Penny," he said as she licked his cheek. "It's so nice to meet you. I think you're gonna like it here."
If I had died then, it would have been just fine.
After I said yes, we went out for a fancy dinner, frolicked naked in our pool like a couple of drunken lovers—well, that's actually exactly what we were—and then made love.
I fell into the most peaceful slumber of my whole life, wrapped up in the arms of the man who loved me more than anyone else in the world. And I knew I deserved it.
The darkness of the past didn't drown out the light of the present anymore. The mistakes I made didn't matter, because I had learned from them. The pain and hurt had faded away.
I had my family now, my fiancé, my future, and a puppy. I had it all.
Everything had come together perfectly. Well, more than perfectly.
When I think back to those challenging days of high school, there's no way I could have ever predicted this. All of the broken pieces of my life came back together, and I'm beyond grateful for that.
Even after they were torn to bits, set on fire, and then stomped on until they were nothing but ashes and dust spiraling in the wind. Somehow, they came back together and survived.
No matter how I looked at it, life was perfect.
And it was all mine now. No, scratch that.
Life was all ours.
The End
Thanks so much for reading! Once again, if you liked this book, please leave a REVIEW and spread the word! It would mean so much to me. Thanks for coming along on this journey with me!
-Andrea
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Links to my other books:
Be Here Now
Haze
Two Weeks