‘No,’ she said dryly.
‘Then think about it now,’ he suggested. ‘Unless you seriously believe I don’t have their interests at heart?’
‘But—’ she licked her lips ‘—would you be happy with a… total marriage of convenience?’
Their gazes caught and held, and she saw a little glint of amusement in his as he said softly, ‘Oh, no, but it would lack all the elements of me wanting to dominate and discard you, because of the nature of our—obligations.’
‘So—what would it be like?’
‘You here, pursuing what you’ve told me means most to you, me being here when I can, us sleeping together on those occasions and, I hope, fulfilling each other as little or as much as it’s in us to do so. You know—’ he lowered his arms and grimaced again ‘—for a girl like you, determined not to fall in love, I would have thought it would have been fairly ideal. You would also have the protection of my name against all the men you have to freeze off so determinedly,’ he said gently.
Arizona shivered again but couldn’t quite understand why and moved her shoulders restlessly.
‘The other thing,’ he said evenly, ‘is the fact that I do arouse you, my dear. Despite being a despised member of the sex you so mistrust. Are you afraid it will—get out of hand for you?’
Yes, something in her cried, but she could only stare at him bitterly, with images of her mother and other, worse images passing through her mind.
‘Then again—’ he smiled unexpectedly ‘—I wouldn’t expect our life to be all passing sex and nothing else. I’d like to think once you relaxed a bit about it all there could be some fun and laughter, some happy, good times, too.’
And she was shaken to find no evidence of irony or mockery in his eyes or voice at all.
‘What happens—’ she cleared her throat ‘—what happens when they’ve all grown up and left?’
He stared beyond her for a moment. ‘Who knows?’
It was like a blow, she discovered, and might even have flinched unknowingly because he added, ‘We might even find we’ve become a habit with each other.’
Arizona blinked several times, which he watched narrowly. Then he said quietly, ‘So, what’s it to be, my dear?’
She didn’t realize that her shoulders slumped fractionally as she looked away and said, barely audibly, ‘Yes…’
He said nothing for so long, she was forced to look at him again, and then all he said was, ‘Let’s go—I’ve something to show you.’
He drove them to a spot where the road rounded a headland and there was a viewing verge where he pulled the car up.
‘I’ve seen this view quite often,’ Arizona murmured, more for something to say as she stared out over a wrinkled, silver-foil sea beneath a bright moon.
‘But you haven’t seen this.’ He switched on the overhead light and pulled something out of his jacket pocket. A little, midnight-blue velvet box.
Arizona stared at it, knowing immediately what was to come, then switched her gaze to the plain gold wedding ring on her left hand. ‘I—’
‘Now is the time to take it off, Arizona. Now is the time to lay Pete to rest, finally. After all, if nothing else, we’re two people who loved and admired him, two people who have the welfare of his children at heart.’
‘I suppose so, when you put it like that…’ But a teardrop fell on her hand as she hesitated then slipped the gold band off.
And Declan Holmes flicked the blue velvet box open, drew a sunburst of diamonds out of it, and taking her nerveless left hand, slid the ring onto her finger.
‘Thanks,’ she said foolishly, examining it with one half of her mind, seeing that it was delicate and exquisite and unusual, three diamonds along the band with two sets of two smaller ones separating them, noting that it was probably priceless and fitted perfectly—and with the other half of her mind curiously numb. ‘I’ll…look after it.’
‘Is that all?’ he said wryly.
‘Well, what do you want me to say?’ Her voice was husky and uncertain.
‘I thought there was something we might do.’
She looked across at him swiftly. ‘Another moonlight kiss?’ she hazarded but without the derision the words were meant to imply. And she closed her eyes, frustrated.
‘Why not?’ he mocked. ‘You didn’t mind the last one, once we got going. But let’s step outside for a minute or two.’
She got out after him because she couldn’t think of what else to do, and they stood side by side against the bonnet of the car and watched as a huge container ship out to sea slid its dark bulk through the water like a wraith but for its lights. ‘Red to port, green to starboard,’ she murmured.
‘You know something about shipping?’
‘Not a lot,’ she answered. ‘It was just something to say. Do you?’
‘Yes. I was in the Navy once.’
Surprise caused Arizona to look at him. ‘Why?’
‘Why?’ He grimaced. ‘Why not?’
She thought for a moment. ‘I don’t know. But one sort of thinks of people in the Navy as being dedicated to the sea.’
‘I didn’t sail ships, I flew helicopters for them. My father thought it would be a good way to combine a love of flying, a bit of fascination for the sea—with some character building. He was probably right.’
‘I can’t imagine…’ Arizona said slowly and stopped. ‘I mean—’ she tried again ‘—it’s difficult to think of you being dictated to by anyone, even a father—you said that,’ she added by way of explanation, ‘as if you didn’t really agree with him.’
‘You’re right,’ he murmured amusedly, ‘there wasn’t a lot I agreed with him about—the way he treated my mother and the way he ran the business being the principal disagreements we had. So any of his suggestions were generally anathema to me, but in hindsight,’ he mused, ‘he was right about the Navy. In so far as it gave me the toughness and maturity to take control eventually and…avert bankruptcy.’
‘What did he do?’
‘He retired. Not exactly graciously but not exactly broke, either, after I’d pulled things together.’
‘And your mother?’
‘She departed this life a few years ago in an alcohol-induced haze, which was the only way she could cope with him.’
Arizona gazed at his profile, which was like a rock, and shivered.
He turned to her. ‘Cold?’
‘No…yes…I don’t know.’ But she was cold inside, she knew, at this glimpse of the cold, hard core of Declan Holmes, and it crossed her mind to wonder what chance she ever had or would have of fighting him and beating him.
‘What does that mean?’ he queried quietly.
That I’m attracted to you and scared of you and still mystified by you, she thought, but did not say because it was not her nature to confess things like that, but more, because some intuition warned her it would be fatal. Why? she wondered, dazed. I don’t understand…
‘How about a little warmth, then, of the mutual variety,’ he said very quietly and drew her into his arms, but he did no more, and for an age she stood in the circle of his arms trembling then quieting as things, strangely, turned full circle, and it was a bit like being sheltered by a rock…
She closed her eyes and told herself that just for a moment she would rest and be reassured. It wasn’t much longer before he lowered his head and sought her lips, and she breathed anxiously, but he lifted a hand and stroked the smooth skin of her throat down to the satiny hollows at the base of it with two fingers, lightly, until she calmed. Then he claimed her lips again, and she allowed herself to be drawn into a deep, intimate kiss before he broke it gently, held her closer and started to kiss her again.
If anyone had told her, she thought once, that she could be kissed for as long as Declan did it, she wouldn’t have believed them, but it was also the feel of him against her, the strength of his legs against her thighs, the long muscles of his back beneath his jacket where her hands now were… His hands on her hi
ps, slipping under her top and exploring her back, her slender waist, the twin mounds of her breasts, then withdrawing to stroke the nape of her neck beneath her hair. Until finally they stopped kissing and she laid her head on his shoulder, breathing deeply and shakily and feeling an unknown sensation at the pit of her stomach, an intimation of a kind of pleasure that might bind her to Declan Holmes so that she could never break free. And a warning bell struck in her brain….
She lifted her head and swallowed. ‘Is that thanks enough?’ But she sounded husky and unsure.
He narrowed his eyes. ‘It wasn’t thanks I had in mind, Arizona. Rather a celebration of our pact.’
‘Welt—’ she licked her lips ‘—enough celebration then?’
‘What do you think?’ His voice was dry.
Her eyes widened. ‘I…I—’ But she couldn’t go on, and patches of heat rose up her throat because she knew what he meant.
‘You think we should leave that until our wedding night?’ he supplied with a sardonically raised eyebrow. ‘Is that what you’re trying to say?’
‘No—well, yes. I… it hadn’t actually occurred to me until a few moments ago—I mean,’ she said desperately, ‘that you, that… Oh hell,’ she said hollowly, ‘sorry, I’m carrying on like a—child, probably. Sorry,’ she repeated, but drew away.
He let her go and she turned away and hugged herself as she stared disbelievingly over the sea.
‘A child, Arizona?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You said, carrying on like a child, but I wondered if you meant—something else?’
‘No.’ She said it quietly but quite definitely.
Declan walked round her, took her chin in his hands and tilted her head so that he could look steadily into her eyes. But he didn’t tell her what he saw, nor could she read it in his eyes, then he let her go but reached for her hand.
‘What now?’ she asked nervously.
‘Home. And bed. Alone. I think we might have achieved enough for one day, don’t you?’
Arizona didn’t reply. But she lay in bed, alone, that night and wondered what had been achieved.
She awoke with images in her mind of how pliant and vibrant her body had been in his arms, and the sight, before her eyes, of his arm in a dark blue jacket sleeve over a paler blue shirt bearing a plain gold cufflink carved with the initials DH, putting a cup of tea on her bedside table.
She stared at the dark hairs on the back of his hand wondering if she was dreaming then said groggily, ‘It’s not Saturday, is it?’ I mean—’ she bit her lip, confused ‘—have you taken over from Cloris or something?’
He straightened and she followed the movement with her eyes until they met his. He was shaved, she saw, his hair was brushed and he wore a green and blue tie with his suit. ‘No. But an urgent fax was waiting for me when we got home last night. I have to go up to town for a few days. I thought you might appreciate hearing it from me rather than Cloris. It’s only—’ he glanced at his watch ‘—six o’clock again.’
Arizona sat up, rubbed her face then pushed her hair back. ‘Oh.’
‘I could be gone for a week—will you be all right?’
She blinked. ‘Of course.’
‘I thought you might say that,’ he murmured with a faint smile twisting his lips and walked over to open her curtains. She saw then, after adjusting to the light, that he’d brought a cup of tea for himself. It was on her dressing table. ‘I meant—’ he turned back and picked up his cup ‘—you’ll have Ben to cope with for a few more weeks until the end of this term, you’ll still be housebound with Daisy for a day or two, you’ll still be at the twins’ beck and call—are your nerves up to it, Arizona?’
‘Yes,’ she said steadily then grimaced as her hair slipped forward and added, before she could stop herself, ‘I wish you wouldn’t keep catching me like this. Could you pass me my brush and that scrunchie on the dressing table?’
He paused and looked her over before reaching for her brush and the brightly coloured elasticised ribbon. ‘I’ve told you before, you always look—delectable.’
‘Thanks,’ she said dryly as he handed them over and started to brush her hair with vigorous strokes then holding it in a swathe over one shoulder so she could brush the ends before, with a sigh of relief, she slipped the scrunchie on to hold it at her nape. ‘That’s better, but you don’t have to pay me extravagant compliments.’
He said nothing but sat down in a green velvet armchair and finished his tea. He kept his eyes on her, though, on her watermark white silk, tailored pyjamas with a narrow maroon piping, until finally with a wryly raised eyebrow, he remarked, ‘I see you’ve given away the teddy bears.’
‘I haven’t,’ she replied but with a tinge of colour creeping into her cheeks. ‘The kids gave me that nightshirt for my birthday so I wear it as often as possible, but I can’t wear it all the time.’
‘No,’ he agreed. ‘Now that’s devotion.’
‘Not really, it’s comfortable.’ She turned away and picked up her tea.
‘I have a suggestion to make, Arizona.’
‘Regarding my nightwear?’ she retorted before she stopped to think.
‘He smiled. ‘Well, that, too, eventually, or rather, regarding the not wearing of it, but not, naturally, until we’re married.’
‘Definitely not.’
They stared at each other, Arizona with hostility in her eyes, he with amusement. He also said, ‘I didn’t come here to fight you this morning, my dear.’
‘Then don’t bait me,’ she replied. ‘What did you come to suggest?’
‘That at the end of the week, you come up to town for a couple of days. You can stay in a hotel before you get your hackles up any further.’
‘I… why?’
‘So that we can arrange our nuptials. You might like to shop, you might even be interested to see where I live,’ he said with irony.
‘The children—’
‘I appreciate and share your concern for the children, Arizona, but I’ve made some arrangements that I think might be in their best interests while we sort out a few of our own.’
‘What do you mean?’ she queried after a suspicious pause.
‘Rosemary will be delighted to take them and Cloris for the time you’re away.’
Arizona stared at him. ‘When did you organize this?’
‘Last night. I’ll also, before I leave this morning, speak to the kids and let them know what’s happening—I don’t think you’ll have a problem. Amongst other things, Rosemary told me that although she’s never been able to have kids, she adores them, she will delight in laying on all sorts of fun for them, she’s quite certain you need a bit of a break—and if Daisy does get distraught, she’ll get straight in touch. It is only a couple of hours drive away. It’s less, as a matter of fact, since I decided to invest in a helicopter.’
‘You what?’
‘Bought a helicopter, Arizona,’ he said with a sort of mocking patience. ‘I told you I flew them in the Navy.’
‘So you did,’ Arizona said, a little dazed.
‘As a matter of fact it’s coming to pick me up this morning—I could have you picked up on Friday if you like.’
‘No,’ she said hastily. ‘If I come I’ll drive.’
His eyes told her what he thought of that, but instead of taking issue with it, he said, ‘Getting back to the kids, you must know I would never suggest anything that I thought would harm them. But this way they’ll be with someone they know, in familiar territory and having fun.’
‘Rosemary is really good with them,’ Arizona said grudgingly.
‘Then you’ll come?’
Arizona put her cup down carefully and lay back against the pillows. ‘Why not?’ she said eventually and added, barely audibly, ‘As you so often say to me.’
‘I did have another thought.’ He got up abruptly.
‘Oh?’
‘Yes, that we get it over and done with at the same time.’
‘You mean—get getting married over and done with?’ Arizona asked after a long pause.
‘Why not?’ he parodied with a mocking glint in his blue eyes, and something more, a hint of steel.
‘I think I might let you know how I feel about that, Declan,’ she said coolly but angrily, ‘but I wouldn’t hold your breath.’
‘All the same, I’d come prepared if I were you, Arizona,’ he countered.
‘I don’t even know where to come!’ she protested, and immediately hated herself for such a feeble protest.
He took a card out of his inner jacket pocket and laid it on the dressing table, next to, as it happened, the little crystal bowl that held his engagement ring. ‘Check into the Hilton on Friday, I’ll make a reservation for you. Give me a call when you arrive and we’ll take things from there. Don’t,’ he warned coolly, ‘even think of not coming, Arizona, because I shouldn’t be at all amused if you do.’ He strode out, closing the door audibly behind him.
I really made him angry, Arizona thought, as she stared, transfixed, at the door. Did I bring this on myself by being—obstructive? He can’t seriously believe I’d marry him like that…
She looked away at last and felt a curious prickling of her skin as it struck her that perhaps she did wield some power over Declan Holmes, but the kind of power she had no desire to wield over any man….
CHAPTER FIVE
‘AH, MRS. Adams, I’m Mr. Holmes’s secretary. How do you do? Did you have a good trip up?’ a cultured, well-modulated female voice asked down the telephone line.
‘Yes, it was fine, thanks,’ Arizona replied. ‘Is—’
‘I’m afraid Mr. Holmes is in a conference, but he asked me to let you know that he’ll meet you at the hotel, in your suite, at six-thirty this evening. Did you get the packet when you checked in, Mrs. Adams?’
Arizona glanced at the contents of the packet she’d been presented with by the ultra-attentive Hilton receptionist and closed her eyes briefly. ‘Yes, I did. Thank you.’
‘Well, if there’s anything you need at all, please do give me a call, Mrs. Adams. I made a list for you of the appropriate shops in the area you might like to patronize, and of course, may I offer you my congratulations and very best wishes, Mrs. Adams. Mr. Holmes was kind enough to take me into his confidence, although I gather he wants the wedding to be very private, but you can rely on me to be most discreet….’
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