Resuscitate Me

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Resuscitate Me Page 19

by Leddy Harper


  I’d managed to pull myself together and get the fairytale out of my head. After almost two hours, I had managed to figure most of it out. I ran payroll and scheduled an appointment with the contractor for tomorrow.

  “Do you by chance have the schedules and the shifts that can’t be filled?” I asked Jeannine once she released me from her embrace. “If you give me everyone’s names, what they can work, and what their roles are, I can take it with me to the hospital and look through it.”

  “You don’t have to do all that. Really. You’ve helped us out so much with the paychecks.”

  “I don’t mind. I have nothing else to do but sit there and watch him sleep. I don’t know if I’ll be able to figure anything out, but it’s worth taking a look.”

  The relief on her face said it all. They’d all been running on fumes, fueled by stress, trying to keep up with things while the boss was gone. I was sure Jeannine had taken the brunt of it. I figured Carter paid them well, but I didn’t expect their hourly rate to cover situations like this.

  While she went in the back to make copies of the schedule and the missing shifts, Barbie strutted through the front door. She didn’t bother looking at me as she passed, heading straight for the young girl behind the smoothie counter. Her name was Rebecca, and after making my smoothies three times, I no longer needed to tell her what I wanted. She was sweet with freckles lining the bridge of her nose, which only highlighted her innocence. When Barbie stepped up to her, Rebecca turned her wide, blue eyes at me, silently asking for help.

  “Is there something I can do for you?” I walked over to the woman, catching her by surprise.

  “I’m looking for Carter Hastings.”

  “He’s currently out of the gym. My name is Kara Stevens.” I held my hand out, even though she didn’t bother to take it. “I’m here helping out in his absence. Is there something I can do for you?”

  “I’d rather deal with Carter. Do you know when he might be back?”

  “If you need something, I’d be more than happy to help.” I’d dealt with my fair share of parents who treated me as though I was young and stupid. I’d had meetings to discuss behavioral issues, and had mothers tell me I didn’t know what I was talking about. Speaking to ignorant people wasn’t new to me, but handling it without letting my personal bias come into play wasn’t easy.

  “Carter and I have a relationship…”

  “Yes, you’re his merch rep. I know who you are. I’m perfectly capable of answering any questions you have for him. If I don’t have an answer, I can get one for you by the end of the day.” I had to ignore the snickering coming from behind the counter. There were now two girls watching this play out like their favorite reality show.

  Barbie’s attitude changed, although she didn’t become any friendlier. Instead, I guess she realized I wouldn’t back down, and rather than keep up her charade, she gave in. She opened up the binder she had tucked beneath her arm and handed me a sheet of paper filled with numbers.

  “Carter talked about wanting to add water bottles. These are the quotes, and on the back is the design.” She flipped the paper over for me, as if I couldn’t do it myself.

  “These are cheap, and not worth the price you’re offering. You should find the stainless steel ones in the shape of actual water bottles. They keep liquid colder longer. And for the logo, have it etched instead of whatever this is.” I handed the paper back to her and waited patiently for the response I knew she’d give.

  “Those are more expensive. These are what he asked for.”

  “Okay then. I’ll find someone who can offer better quality for a cheaper price, and we’ll see which one Carter goes with. What else can I help you with?” I was ready for this conversation to be over so I could move on to the construction workers and head back to the hospital.

  She handed me another paper, but this time, she didn’t say anything.

  I checked over the pricing on the front, and then flipped it over to find a design for men’s muscle shirts. “This looks good, but where are the women’s?”

  “There aren’t any.” It was obvious her patience was running out.

  But I didn’t care, because my patience ran out with her over a month ago when I caught her hanging all over Carter. I had no right to feel that way toward her, but I couldn’t help it. “Well, you should probably come up with one. Anything else?”

  “He’s out of extra-small tank tops for women with the gym’s logo on the front.”

  I threw my head back and blinked up at the ceiling. “Then fill them, Barbie.” When I turned my attention back to the blonde, I took a small amount of joy in her shocked, round eyes. “You’d save so much time doing your job instead of finding excuses to chase after someone who has no interest in you. If the shirts are out, you fill them. It’s simple.”

  “He hasn’t ordered any more,” she gritted out through clenched teeth.

  “How long has he offered that style of shirts?”

  She rolled her eyes and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I don’t know.”

  “I’m assuming for a while if it has his company’s logo on it. How many times has he reordered them?”

  “I don’t know,” she repeated, with more bitterness this time.

  I pushed both pieces of paper along the counter toward her and leaned in. “I think it’s a safe assumption it’s a product he has no interest in getting rid of. And when he decides to stop carrying it, I’m sure he’ll let you know. So from now on, if an item is out, fill it. No…if it’s low, fill it. He doesn’t have the time to sit around while you inform him of his out of stocks. An empty shelf doesn’t sell anything.” I stood back and took a deep breath to steady myself. I plastered on a fake smile and asked, “Is there anything else?”

  Barbie grabbed the papers and stuffed them back into her binder. She squared her shoulders and shot me a forced grin. “No, I think that’s all for now. When you speak to Carter, tell him I’ll see him when he gets back…from wherever he is.”

  “I’ll do that. I’m actually on my way to see him now, so I’ll make sure to relay your message. And I hope to hear back from you regarding the women’s muscle tanks and those water bottles.”

  Her nose wrinkled with a hateful smirk, and then she stalked away.

  I blew out an exhausted breath and leaned against the smoothie counter. Rebecca came over with a Styrofoam cup in her hand; I knew instantly it was filled with my favorite strawberry and banana flavored beverage.

  “That was so awesome, Kara.”

  I held my hand up to stop her from getting too excited. “No, it wasn’t, Rebecca. This isn’t my gym. I have no right to make decisions, and I shouldn’t have spoken to her like that. I let my personal feelings get the best of me. I should’ve been more professional, especially considering this isn’t my company.”

  “Well, in my opinion, she deserved it. Every time she comes in, she’s nasty to us all.”

  I patted her hand and gave her the most genuine smile I could, despite how exhausted I suddenly felt. “You don’t deserve that. No one here does. But that still doesn’t mean I had any right to speak to her that way.”

  Jeannine came up just then with the information I’d asked for. I thanked her and walked away, leaving the girls to fill her in on what she missed with Barbie.

  After all that, I only wanted to make it back up to Carter’s room. I’d been with him through his morning dressing change, listened as the doctor ran through his chart, and kept Susan company before she left for lunch. I was surprised to find myself longing for the steady beeps of his monitors, his deep breathing, and the occasional whirr of his blood pressure cuff.

  What I got was something completely different.

  “I’m so glad you were able to get things straightened out for him. I’m sure he’ll be very grateful when he finds out.” Susan shifted on the couch, the plastic-like material of the cushion squeaking beneath her. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about, though. I’d mentioned to you las
t night about Carter asking for you and the baby…”

  “Oh, yeah. I think I figured that out. When you went to get the nurse last night and he came to a little, he called me that. It’s just a common term of endearment. I’m sure that’s all it was.” I studied her face while she focused on her hands in her lap. I thought I’d gotten away with it until she spoke again.

  “I went to his house today. I’ve been showering here, but the water pressure is horrible, so I thought it would do me some good if I showered at Carter’s. Would you happen to know why he has three boxes of pregnancy tests in the drawer in the bathroom?”

  My head filled with everything and nothing all at once. Her words, the tests, and taking the tests fired through my brain and bounced around, occupying far too much thought. Excuse after pathetic excuse rolled in, adding to the chaos, but not fast or soon enough.

  Susan sat next to me on the couch, watching me with those cerulean eyes. I knew I’d been caught, and she knew it once my face flamed with the heat of a thousand fires. It would’ve been pointless to lie about it, although I wasn’t interested in explaining the truth, either.

  “It’s…it’s not what you think, ma’am.” My stuttered words were thick and deep, clogging my throat with every syllable. “I’m not…I’m not pregnant.”

  In a move that surprised me, she covered my wrangled hands with her own. Her soft, smooth palms offered me a level of comfort I hadn’t expected, and just like her son had been able to do with one touch, she calmed me down. “Were you?”

  “No, ma’am. That was…” I peered over my shoulder at Carter, wishing he’d wake up just this once and help me out with his mom. “He, um…well, he wanted to make sure I wasn’t before I left.”

  The woman next to me sighed, the stress that had been holding up her rigid posture deflated. “That makes so much more sense. I’m so sorry I had to question you, Kara. Of course, I would’ve asked my son, but I couldn’t wait that long to find out. I don’t mean to be nosy. I really don’t, but you see, he’s been through something like this before. Well, not like this…” She shook her head as if ridding herself of a traumatic memory.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Has he ever told you about his last girlfriend? Maybe not his last, but it was the last girl he seriously dated. Noelle?” She waited for me to answer, although I could only shake my head. “It’s not really my place to tell you. Please don’t bring it up to him. Although, if you do, there’s not much he could do to me for telling you.” She laughed at her own humor.

  “Since Carter hasn’t said anything to me about it, I’m sure he doesn’t want me to know.”

  She seemed to contemplate that for a moment, yet it didn’t stop her from proceeding. “He met her right before he started the modeling thing. They were together for a while, and Carter had really loved her. After he did a few ads, she couldn’t handle his popularity and, I guess, became jealous. They fought a lot about other girls; she accused him of cheating, and he was tired of her jealousy, so they broke up. A few months later, she shows up pregnant.”

  My gut twisted with her story, although I couldn’t seem to make her stop telling me. I was engrossed in Carter’s secrets. Even though it felt wrong to hear them from his mother, I couldn’t ask her to stop.

  “Long story short, he sold his house, asked her to marry him, and put in an offer on a house she picked out. He wanted to make her happy. He even went as far as turning down offers to model if they made her uncomfortable. Weeks before closing on the new house, he found out the child might not have been his. I don’t know the details, but he broke off the engagement, bought the beach home he has now, and she never came back.”

  “So was the kid his or not?”

  “No. It wasn’t. Like I said, I don’t know what all happened. What I do know is there was a chance it was his, and after the baby was born, he got a paternity test. She never came around again. And he never talked about it again.”

  I glanced over at Carter, my heart crumbling at the thought of his generosity and trust being abused in such a deceiving way. I ached for him. One thing was clear, though. It suddenly made sense why he was so worried about the possibility of me being pregnant, and why he’d insisted on finding out. I suddenly felt horrible for how I’d treated him regarding the whole thing.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  I’d planned to stay for one more day so I could meet with the contractor about the gym. However, after speaking with him and learning of how involved Carter was in the expansion, I couldn’t walk away. The doctor had said he could be in the hospital for a couple more weeks, which would hold up the progress even longer. Not to mention, he still didn’t have anyone to handle the payroll and scheduling in his absence.

  With the morphine lowered, he was more alert, but in severe pain. They’d switched one form of pain reliever for another, giving him regular doses of narcotics to make him comfortable. Carter was awake more, though still unable to make coherent decisions, which was why I’d decided to stay until the end of the week as planned. After that, he’d have to find another way to take care of the gym.

  “He’s asking for you,” one of the younger nurses on the floor told me as soon as I stepped off the elevator. I’d just come back after inspecting the addition with the construction crew. It seemed pointless to me, considering they had done everything he’d asked for, but to ease everyone’s minds, I continued to go in every day and give them a thumbs up.

  “Is everything okay?”

  The way she smiled—the same as every nurse here—was as if she were watching a romantic movie play out in front of her. “He refuses to have his dressings changed without you. We wanted to have it done before the doctor went in, but he wouldn’t let us touch him until you came back.”

  It wasn’t all that surprising, considering the past few days he’d been awake every time they came in to check his wounds. I’d made sure to know when they would do it, so I could be there with him. Although, I had no idea he’d refuse to have it done if I were gone.

  “Well, I’m back. So I guess you can go ahead and change him now.”

  “I’ll be there in a few.”

  I nodded and waited for her to buzz me through the door.

  Susan put down her magazine as soon as I stepped into the room. I figured if she were sitting in the quiet, reading, that meant Carter was asleep, but as I turned to look at him, I found him awake, staring up at the ceiling.

  “What’s going on?”

  Upon hearing my voice, Carter turned his head toward me. The deep valleys in his forehead lessened to ripples, his lips softened and parted slightly, and he appeared to have sunk farther into the mattress.

  I crossed the room and rounded the bed to stand on his good side. With my hand on his shoulder, I looked into his glossy eyes and asked, “What’s wrong?”

  “You weren’t here.”

  “I was up at the gym taking care of the construction.”

  His brows furrowed, his eyes narrowing in concentration.

  “When you were brought here, the crew stopped working. So I’ve been going up there every day to make sure they’re getting it done like you want. Carter, I told you this yesterday. Do you not remember?”

  Frustration showed in his flared nostrils just before he turned his attention back to the ceiling. I glanced over my shoulder at Susan, hoping she could fill me in on what I’d missed. Because it seemed a lot had happened while I was gone.

  “The doctor came in and said he’s healing nicely. He said we shouldn’t be here much longer, maybe another week—two at the most. He gave me the number for an at-home care facility, so I can set up a nurse to come by and help him with anything. I haven’t—”

  “Stop talking about me like I’m not here.” Anger rooted in every word he grumbled.

  “I’m sorry, honey. I was just filling in—”

  “I don’t need a nurse. I don’t need anyone to come to my house and take care of me. Kara’s here. She can help me if I need it.” His eyes
found mine and they hopelessly pleaded with me.

  “Carter, I leave in two days.”

  “Then stay longer.”

  I wanted more than anything to tell him yes, but I couldn’t. And it caused me physical pain to tell him no. My chest constricted to the point it felt like my ribs would crack under the pressure. “I have to go back to work. I can’t stay.”

  “Can you give us a few minutes? Alone?” Carter glanced at his mom, who quietly nodded and stood up. The sounds of the monitors were the only things I could hear through the uncomfortable silence in the room.

  “I’ll be right outside. I’ll let the nurses know to wait until you’re done.” She gave us both a sad smile and closed the door behind her.

  “I need you, Kara.” His words were nothing but air, scratchy and full of so much desperation. His eyes locked on mine and wouldn’t let me go. It was as if he had more to say, but decided against it.”

  “I’m here. What do you need? Are you in pain?”

  “No.” He pressed his head farther into his pillow, frustration evident on his face. “I need you to stay and help me. I know you don’t wanna do that, and I understand you have to go back to work. But I need you. I don’t want someone I’ve never met before helping me get dressed, or holding my dick while I piss. I don’t want my mom changing the bandages and seeing me naked. I want you.”

  “I’m sure there are plenty of people who would be there for you.”

  “I don’t want any of them!” he roared. And then he whispered, “Only you.”

  I gave his words thought. I’d wanted him to tell me that exact thing for weeks. It didn’t matter I couldn’t stay. I longed to hear him tell me he needed me to. That he wanted me here. Now that he did, I wasn’t sure how to respond.

 

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