by Robin Palmer
Why was I feeling like I was about to cry?
“Because when we do it long enough, sometimes it becomes the truth rather than something we hoped for.”
I thought about it. It made some sense. Like when I decided I wanted to make jewelry, I never thought, But how can I make jewelry? I’m just a kid. I just acted as if it was totally normal and I did it. And sure enough, I became a jewelry designer . . . who just happened to be a kid.
“You need to remember that time takes time,” he went on.
Wow. My dad was filled with weird sayings. “What does that mean?” I asked.
“It means that building a relationship with someone doesn’t happen overnight,” he explained. “You have to show up and put effort into it.” He thought about it. “Like what I have to do with you.”
He was right—things did take time. Like, as nice as it was that we were spending time together, I didn’t quite trust it yet. How did I know that one day it wouldn’t suddenly go back to how it had been the last ten years?
He must have seen something on my face, because just then he reached over and grabbed my hand. “Avery, I know I haven’t been much of a father over the years—”
“I never said that,” I interrupted.
“I know you didn’t. But it’s the truth,” he sighed. “But meeting Lana, and seeing the relationship she has with her girls . . . it’s made me see how much you’ve been shortchanged.”
I hated the fact that I could feel my eyes getting wet. I did not want to cry in front of my dad. I shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
He squeezed my hand. “It’s a huge deal, Avery, and I’m very, very sorry. And you’re right—I’ve been so caught up in my life that I haven’t focused on yours. Do you think we can start over?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean . . . how about once a week we spend some time, just the two of us?”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Yeah. We can get to know each other again that way. Or more like, get to know each other finally.”
I smiled. “I think that would be really nice.”
* * *
Apparently, I wasn’t the only one who was asked to try a little harder.
On Wednesday afternoon Lexi and I were in front of the bakery, pooling our money together to see if we had enough to buy a cupcake to split (then would come the hard part: deciding what to get, seeing that I was all about chocolate and she was one of those strange people who didn’t like it), when my phone rang.
As I fished it out and we looked at the screen, my eyes widened. It was Cassie.
Lexi gasped. “Oh my gosh! Why is she calling you?”
“I don’t know,” I replied, baffled.
“Answer it! Answer it!” she cried as it continued to ring.
“I’m going to! Just calm down,” I replied, nervous. That was, if I could get my fingers to work.
“I can’t believe she’s calling you. What do you think she wants? It’s going to go to voice mail if you don’t get it!” she babbled.
“Shhh,” I ordered as I punched accept on my phone. A little too hard, apparently, as it fell to the ground and skittered across the concrete.
“What are you doing? You’re going to break it! Did you break it?”
It was a good thing she was already my best friend, because her annoyingness would have made it tough for her to find another. “Stop talking!” I cried as I picked it up. It was still ringing. “Hello?” I said after I answered. I tried to sound all calm, but I had a feeling I was failing.
“Hey, Avery. It’s Cassie. How are you?”
“Oh, I’m great,” I replied. “Just hanging out with my best friend, Lexi. Just, you know, doing . . . best-friend things . . . shopping, about to get a cupcake . . .” Okay, I really needed to shut up now.
Lexi leaned in. “Hi, Cassie. We’ve never met, but I’ve heard all about you,” she yelled into the phone.
“What are you doing?!” I snapped as I moved away from her.
“I’m just trying to be friendly!” she snapped back.
“I won’t keep you, then,” Cassie said, sounding really bored. “I’m just calling because my mom—”
“Cassie,” I heard Lana say in the background in a warning voice.
“Sorry—because my sisters and I thought you might want to get together and do something sometime.”
Could she have sounded less excited about the idea?
“Oh. Sure. That sounds great,” I replied. Could I have sounded less excited? Maybe I should have taken after Lexi and tried out for some plays in order to sharpen my acting skills.
“Okay. Well, I guess I’ll see you at some point, then,” she said. “Have a good day.”
“Wait!” I said before she could hang up. “When do you want to do it?”
“Do what?”
“Hang out,” I replied.
“Oh,” she said, busted. I could already tell this was going to be a ton of fun. “Um . . . I need to check to see when I’m free.”
Although I couldn’t make out what Lana was saying in the background, I could tell from her tone she was annoyed. “My mom says we could do it tomorrow afternoon.”
“Tomorrow afternoon works,” I replied. The minute I said it, I cringed. I should have said I needed to check my schedule or something.
Lexi pulled on my arm. “But that’s when we—”
I waved her off. “So what do you want to do?” I asked into the phone.
“I don’t know,” Cassie replied.
Lexi pulled on my arm again. “Tomorrow is when we planned on going to the art supply store—”
“Can’t you see I’m on the phone?” I hissed. The minute it left my mouth, I felt bad, because it came out a lot more harsh than I had expected. I just wasn’t a good multitasker, especially when I was nervous. Which, when talking to Cassie, I always seemed to be. I turned away so I didn’t have to look at the hurt look on her face, and cleared my throat. “There’s this neat store near my house on Main Street called You Are Here. How about we meet there at, like, two?”
“Okay. See you tomorrow.”
Before I could say anything else, she ended the call. Which was fine because it wasn’t like I could think of anything else to say. And even if I could, I would have saved it up for the next day so there would be only 299 awkward silences instead of 300.
When I turned toward Lexi, I could see she was still upset. “I’m sorry. That was really rude of me.”
“Yeah. It was,” she agreed, hurt.
I felt bad. Although Lexi hadn’t said anything, I had been able to tell from the look on her face earlier when I told her about my conversation at the pizza place with my dad that this was all tough for her. One of the first things we had bonded over when we became friends was the fact that our fathers weren’t around, and now not only was mine here, but he was making a big effort to make up for the years that he wasn’t.
“It’s like you’re willing to drop everything for these girls who—no offense—have been nothing but total jerks to you so far.”
Okay, that was tough to swallow. Probably because it was true. “I have an idea,” I said. “Do you want to come tomorrow?”
At that she brightened. “Omigod, REALLY?!” she gasped.
“Uh-huh,” I replied.
She started to hop on one foot, which was a sign she was really excited.
“Unless you want me to call her back and tell her I forgot I had plans already.”
“No way!” she yelled. “We can get art supplies ANYTIME!” She stopped hopping and gave me a huge hug. “This is going to be soooo cool!”
“Totally,” I agreed with a smile, hoping I looked a lot less nervous than I felt.
Seven
The next afternoon, as I stood in front of You Are Here at 1:45 (when I got nervous, my earliness kicked in), my jaw dropped as I watched Lexi chain up her bike and cross Main Street to meet me.
“What do you think? Do I look okay?” she
asked striking a pose.
“I need to get my sunglasses out before I can answer that question,” I said, shielding my eyes. Between her dangly rhinestone earrings, the bedazzled rose on her T-shirt, and the fake diamond flower on her sandals, I could barely see. “What are you wearing? You said in your text you were wearing your denim mini and a pink tank top!”
“I know, but then I thought it might make you look better if they thought you had a best friend who was really sophisticated,” she replied, “so I changed.” She put her hand on her hip and struck a pose like a model. “What do you think?”
I couldn’t bear to tell her the truth, (a) because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, and (b) because it was too late for her to go home and change. “I think you look . . . really sparkly.” At least it wasn’t a lie.
She smiled. “Thanks. That was the look I was going for.”
Before I could say anything else, Lana’s car pulled up. Because the windows were closed, I couldn’t hear, but I could see Lana say something to the girls before she turned the ignition off and they all got out.
“Hey, Avery!” she chirped. She stayed over near the door and didn’t hug me this time, which made me think that maybe she was still mad at me about the dress, even though my dad had said she wasn’t. But I didn’t have time to think about that right then.
“Hey, Lana.” I pulled Lexi so she was beside me. “This is Lexi.”
“It’s such a pleasure to meet you, ma’am,” she said.
I gave her a look. Ma’am? When had Lexi ever used the word “ma’am” before? Later on when I asked her about it, she told me she thought that Lana might be impressed by it, seeing that she was from California. Which didn’t make much sense to me, but then again, lots of what Lexi said often didn’t make sense.
“You too, Lexi,” Lana replied. “I have to run to a doctor’s appointment, but I’ll be back here at five. That should give you girls enough time to hang out, right?”
“You could even come at four thirty, if you wanted,” Cassie said.
“Five it is,” Lana said, ignoring her. “Have a great time.” She looked at me. “Avery, I gave Cassie some money for all of you to get a snack.”
“Yeah. Maybe we can get Frappuccinos,” Kayley murmured. Cassie tried not to laugh.
“Thanks,” I said, trying not to glare at Kayley.
“Mom, I bet I can find something blue around here,” Sammi said.
Lana smiled. “I bet you can too.”
“I’ll help you look, if you want,” I offered.
Sammi looked at her sisters, as if checking to see what they thought, but they looked just as bored as usual. She turned to me. “Okay.”
I smiled at her.
“I’ll help too,” Lexi added. “I love blue. I even have blue eye shadow.”
I was surprised she wasn’t wearing it, because it was also really sparkly.
“I bet that’s neat,” Sammi said.
“It totally is,” Lexi replied. I had a feeling they’d end up being good friends before the day was over.
I turned to Kayley. “I know you said you don’t need any help finding something new for your mom, but they have a lot of cool stuff in here.”
She shrugged. “Okay.”
That was easy enough. Hopefully, the next two hours would be as well.
Luckily, Maryam—Mom’s friend—was working that day. She was originally from Iran and was supercool. I especially liked her English accent, which she had because she had gone to primary school in England (that’s what they call elementary school there). She was so cool that she let me put my jewelry in her display case, and if anyone bought some, we’d split it fifty-fifty. So far nothing had sold, but it still made me feel good when I walked in and saw it there.
“Look what the cat dragged in,” Maryam said when she saw us. Her hair—which had purple streaks in it today, as opposed to pink or green or blue, which she had also had on occasion—was pulled back into a ponytail, making her hoop nose ring stand out even more. There was a lot going on with Maryam, one of the things I liked about her so much. Her eyebrows went up as she took in Lexi’s outfit. “Lexi, you’re looking quite dazzling today. Literally.”
“Thanks,” Lexi replied. “It’s just something I threw on really fast without thinking about it.”
Yeah, right.
“Well, excellent job.” She turned to the BBs. “Hi. I’m Maryam.”
I could tell from the looks on their faces that they weren’t quite sure what to make of her. Maybe they didn’t have purple hair in California.
“Why is your hair like that?” Sammi asked.
“Sammi!” Cassie said, embarrassed.
Maryam laughed. “It’s okay. My mum asks me the same thing every time she sees me.” She came over and leaned down so she was eye to eye with Sammi. “My hair is like this because I like the way it looks.”
Sammi moved behind me. I smiled and patted her on the shoulder. I loved that she had chosen me to hide behind!
“Come here, Sammi,” Kayley said.
Sammi went over next to her sister—her real sister—who made a big show of putting her arm around her.
“These are my dad’s fiancée’s daughters,” I said to Maryam. I couldn’t bring myself to call them my soon-to-be stepsisters right then. And not just because they technically weren’t yet.
“They’re from California,” Lexi added. The way she said it made it sound like that explained everything.
“Ah. This must be a big change for you all,” Maryam said.
“You can say that again,” Cassie replied with a bored sigh as she started looking at the bags hanging on the wall.
Maryam looked at me and raised one eyebrow just the tiniest bit, which I took as code for Oh boy, do I feel sorry for you.
“We’re in charge of finding something old, new, and blue for Lana—she’s the bride,” I explained, “and I thought this would be a good place to start.”
“I’m honored,” Maryam replied. “Take your time looking around and let me know if you need any help.”
There was nothing old in the shop, so that saved me from having to deal with Cassie. Which was probably good, seeing that she was busy looking for things for herself anyway.
I turned to Sammi. “Should we try and find something blue?”
“Yeah!”
I smiled at her and decided to push my luck by taking her hand to lead her over to the glass case where the jewelry was. Maybe we’d find a pair of earrings with a blue stone.
Kayley was already over there. When I saw what she was looking at, my face got red. There, behind the glass, was a necklace I had made out of sea glass I had found when Mom and I went to Maine last summer.
Lexi came over and pointed at it. “See that one with the sea glass?”
Uh-oh.
“Yeah. It’s neat,” Kayley said. “It’s so . . . different.”
I cringed. So much for having time to figure out how to tell her it was mine.
“That’s funny you should say that, because the designer is in this very shop at this very moment.”
I cringed some more.
Kayley looked around. “Really? Where?”
I shook my head at Lexi and mouthed, “Stop it!”
“Right next to you,” Lexi replied.
Kayley turned and looked at me. Busted.
“You made that?” she asked.
“Yeah?” I squeaked.
By this time Cassie had wandered over and was peering at it. “That necklace? Really?”
“Uh-huh?” Why was everything I said coming out as a question?
“I can’t believe you make jewelry,” Kayley said.
Was it my imagination or did she sound impressed?
I shrugged. “I’ve made a few things.”
“A few?” said Lexi. “Try, like, fifty.”
It was nearly impossible to lie when Lexi was around.
“Wow,” said Kayley.
This time there was no mistaking it�
��she was impressed.
“Oh, it’s totally wow,” agreed Lexi. “She makes necklaces, and earrings and bracelets.” She put her hand on my arm to steady herself and started hopping on her left foot as she lifted her right leg. “She even made this anklet for me for my birthday. And because it’s the only anklet she’s made, that makes it extra exclusive.”
Kayley turned to Cassie. “Neat, huh?”
Cassie shrugged before turning to examine the scarves. “Well, yeah, I guess it would be if it was, like, the first jewelry designer you had ever met. But there’s, like, a ton in California.”
However many inches Kayley’s reaction had added to my height disappeared as my shoulders slumped. Kayley gave her a look. “When did you ever meet a jewelry designer?”
Now it was Cassie’s turn to blush. “I’ve met a bunch. You don’t know them.”
Whether or not that was true, I decided to focus on the positive stuff—like the idea that Kayley thought I was cool. Or at least my jewelry was cool, which, because I was the one who made it, made me cool by association. “I’m hoping to get an Etsy shop set up,” I confessed.
“I love Etsy!” she said.
“Me too.”
“Do you have a website or anything with your stuff?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No. But I have pictures.”
“Maybe there’s something that my mom could use as her something new.”
I couldn’t believe she had said that! That’s what I had wanted to say but couldn’t get my nerve up. I nodded as if mulling it over. “Sure. We might be able to find something. Or if you have some ideas of what she’d like, I could just make it.”
She smiled. “That would be awesome.”
Lexi stuck her head into the conversation. “She usually charges extra for custom-made stuff.”
Okay, (a) I had never custom-made anything before, and (b) I was going to kill her.
I smiled back. I actually had an idea that would take care of the something new and the something old, but I was worried that I might be pushing my luck. Especially since Cassie would be included in the decision.
The next two hours weren’t so bad. A few doors down we found a tiny blue hand-painted turtle at a pottery store that Sammi got for Lana because (a) it was blue and (b) Lana loved turtles. (According to Kayley, that was not quite true. What had happened was one day on the way home from gymnastics, Sammi had said, “Mom, do you like turtles?” and Lana had said, “I’ve never really thought about it, but I guess they’re all right,” which had somehow turned into Lana liking turtles.) When I told her I could make it into a pin for her mom if she wanted, she went nuts. Across the street from there, in this store called Origami (there wasn’t actually any origami in the store—Marc, the owner, just liked how it sounded), Cassie bought a cover for her phone and Lexi debated for the millionth time about whether to use her allowance that she had saved up for this red patent-leather bag that was so big she would have been able to carry around not just her textbooks, but the entire grade’s. After that it was Cassie who suggested we stop at Javalicious. Maybe it was because the Chillsies there were so good, but she even cracked a smile when Lexi told her story about losing her bikini top during our class trip to the Jersey shore last year and having to wait in the ocean until I brought her a shirt.