Death Before Dawn (Gaurdian's Diary Book 1)

by Amelia Hutchins

  “You knew what she could potentially do, so why didn’t you just kill her?”

  “Because I had no proof of what she would do,” he supplied. “I can’t judge someone based off of rumors alone, or what they might do.”

  “You could have prevented this from ever happening. I wish you would have killed the bitch.”

  “You’re too smart to believe that,” he whispered. “There was only one thing I was sure of, Emma; that you’d be mine. I was close to being lawless when I looked into your eyes. I’d gone to Newport willing to kill a pregnant woman and her unborn child if I found any sign of her guilt. The moment I looked into your eyes, I felt how wrong killing you would have been. You intrigued me, and I’d like to say fate intervened, but I’m not sure fate cares about me that much. I know you saved me that day, because killing you would have taken me further than I’d gone before. I’ve killed thousands of people, but never a baby.”

  “I wasn’t worth the world,” I said thickly.

  “To me, you were,” he mused. “I haven’t seen anything that tells me that killing your mother in a preemptive strike would have stopped what happened. It wasn’t just her who turned on our people. If I’d have taken her out, someone else would have just taken her place. There were a lot of conspirators within the immortal community. Following leads and tracking exactly what was going on was what led me to Europe. I was too late and was there when the virus was released. They were always one step ahead with their plan, with nothing tangible that could be proven, and that is something that I will always regret. I will never regret waiting for you, though, even at the cost of the world.”

  Chapter 21

  I puttered around the house, uncertain of what to do with myself. I’d watched all of the Harry Potter movies—the real ones this time—but my mind kept going back to seeing Jaeden and Lachlan. I still felt that sick twisting in my gut as I considered how they hadn’t even looked for me. If it was one of them, I’d have looked. I’d have fought my way to them, and yet they’d remained in that town, indulging in debauchery. It stung.

  I thought I meant more to them, but maybe there was a bigger reason they hadn’t. Azrael admitted Jaeden was healing, which I knew was true. He’d looked worn out, but then he’d also been inside a tent with a naked woman that he probably wound up killing in his bloodlust. That took energy, right? The idea of him with anyone else wasn’t what hurt. Although we were done, finished, ended, I still would have searched to the end of the world to save him. He, on the other hand, hadn’t even moved a mile and that was the core of what hurt the most.

  I was sure that a lot of Jaeden’s actions had to do with Shamus being in charge, and I suspected he would have put a stop to Jaeden even attempting to find me. I knew Jaeden was a soldier; I knew he would follow whatever his orders were. In my girlish dreams, though, I was supposed to matter more to him. I didn’t. In the end, he’d always follow orders.

  I stood at the window, watching as the rain cleansed the earth. I wrapped my arms around myself and considered my next move. I still intended to seduce Azrael, gain my freedom, and continue on my way to free Grayson. I no longer planned on finding Jaeden and taking him and Lachlan with me anymore.

  I’d never intended to let them get close to the Sentinels anyway. Now that I knew more about the Sentinels, and had seen Azrael in combat, I knew the vampires and wolves would be cut down in nothing flat, and it wasn’t something I could watch play out. Trina wanted me for whatever reason, so I’d trade myself for Grayson. I’d figure the rest out from there. She wanted me because of what she thought I was, but it didn’t mean she’d get to use me as she wanted to. She seemed just as surprised as the rest of her baddie Sentinels that I was a Guardian, which meant a lot more to them than it did to me. All I was sure of was I could get away from her, head back to the Ark, and we’d continue to live our lives. I’d planned that from the beginning. After I got Grayson back to the Ark, I’d figure out where she was holding Lachlan’s father and Jaeden’s sire, and figure out how to get them out.

  It was flawed, but it was the only real option I could see. Sentinels could easily kill vampires; I wasn’t willing to let Jaeden die, not even if he was acting under orders. I’d protect him from himself if need be. Lachlan too, they would both end up hurt, or worse, dead.

  I pulled the door of the fridge open and looked inside, finding fresh meat, veggies and a few other things to make a roast. It had been forever since I’d cooked, which I used to love to do. Dad hadn’t been the best cook. When I was younger, we’d eaten mostly burned or microwaved meals, more than I’d like to admit. He had tried; the man just couldn’t cook to save his life.

  I rummaged through the cupboards as a plan percolated in my head. I pulled out herbs, spices, and beef broth, then luckily found a pot which would fit all of the ingredients. I set to work on making a romantic dinner for two, one that was fit for seduction.

  Once the meal was on the stove simmering, I made my way to the bedroom and opened the closet. I gawked at the fine clothing and shoes. The closet had been filled with dresses and stuff that looked like it would have cost an arm and leg.

  I ran my fingers over the delicate fabrics and frowned. I had never been one to dress up. I was never what you would call a girly-girl, much to Addy’s frustration, nor did getting dressed up figure into my father’s prepper-plans. After pulling out several dresses, I settled on a black T-shirt dress with slits up the sides. I matched it with a pair of thigh high socks with thin lines that accentuated the curves of my thighs, and slipped on a pair of soft ballet flats. Now that my hair had quickly grown out again to its original length, I decided to wear it up to show off the V-line of the back of the dress. It was sexy while not being obvious that I’d done it on purpose.

  I sat in front of the vanity and stared at my reflection. I’d never spent much time worrying about my appearance since the doors to the Ark closed; I figured seduction should include a little gloss. It would draw his eyes to my mouth, which is what I wanted, right?

  I dug through the drawers and found expensive brands of make-up, along with a box of jewelry. I pulled out a delicate silver chain, probably the least expensive piece in the collection, but the most beautiful trinket in my opinion. It had an infinity symbol charm dangling from it, which matched the marks on my wrists. I secured it around my neck, then applied eyeshadow and liner sparingly, along with mascara and finished with a red gloss. I stared at the woman who looked back at me. I looked sexy. I stood up and spun around, admiring my reflection. It had been so long since I’d cared what I looked like that it felt awkward. I felt like an imposter, but I had a mission to succeed in, which was seduction. And right now, I fit that role.

  I exited the room and made my way to the dining room table, and found long elegant candles with silver holders that I set in the middle of the table to flood the room in candlelight once they were lit. I placed the dishes at the head of the long, wooden table and then the silverware. A few more trips and the table was finally set for dinner, and the roast was simmering on the range top. I placed a bottle of pinot noir in a grand brasserie champagne bowl, filled it with ice, and placed the wine glasses in the freezer for them to chill, and then padded over to the couch to wait.

  My nerves were going crazy, the idea of seducing him wasn’t one that sat well with me, but I had to get out of here and back to looking for Grayson. It didn’t matter if Azrael was the nicest person left on this planet, I had to find and save my brother.

  I got up from the couch to pace and then eyed the stereo. Music couldn’t hurt, and maybe it would calm the storm building inside of me. I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner started up when I selected ‘Seduction List’ from the iPod in the stereo dock. I sat back down on the couch and closed my eyes until the rapid beating of my heart told me Azrael was close.

  I quickly made my way to the kitchen island and rested my hands on it, wondering if I had enough b
alls to go through with this. I wasn’t sure what worried me more, that I felt excited at the idea of being with him, or that I felt safer knowing he was home. I heard him as he stepped into the room, as I removed the roast from the stovetop and headed towards the table with it.

  “You cooked,” he commented, and I nodded, hoping to God I didn’t drop it with the way my hands were trembling. I placed it on the table, moved the roast from the pan along with selected vegetables to the serving plate, and took the pan to the sink.

  I turned and smiled, finding him covered in mud and watching me with wide eyes. I swallowed hard; this man even looked good in mud. I was so screwed. Wasn’t that what I was aiming for? My eyes drifted to his muddy feet and he shuffled them, as if he wasn’t sure what to say.

  “You’re beautiful,” he murmured thickly.

  “You’re covered in mud,” I replied, and he blinked and looked down at his feet.

  “I’ll go change for…dinner. It smells really good, Emma,” he said sheepishly as he scratched the back of his neck and watched me.

  “Thanks.” I wondered why this was so awkward. We were both awkward at the moment. He looked as if he didn’t know how to react to someone doing something nice for him.

  He walked out of the room, and I let the breath I just realized I was holding go with a shaky whoosh. This wasn’t going to be as easy as I’d thought. I lit the candles and sat at the table, waiting for him; when he returned, he was dressed in a black V-neck T-shirt, with jeans and slippers, along with a masculine version of the necklace I wore, only his had a small omega symbol charm. He looked at me as if he intended to turn around and go change again, but then shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged.

  “I’m not used to having company,” he explained softly.

  “You look great,” I whispered and smiled nervously. His eyes darted to my lips, and I self-consciously chewed on my bottom one. What the fuck was wrong with me? Why was I so nervous? Why was he so nervous? “I shouldn’t have cooked, it’s weird, right?” I babbled as I started to stand up, but his hand touched my shoulder, stopping me.

  “It’s not weird,” he rasped thickly. “It’s nice.” He fumbled with his words, like he didn’t know what to say. “I don’t mean it’s nice…I haven’t had anyone eat with me in a very long time. Actually, no one really does anything with me. I’m not very good with people anymore; a little bit rusty on my social skills. I guess having Death over for dinner isn’t something many people would wish to do.”

  “You’re good with me,” I blurted, and then regretted it as his eyes turned heavy, and his smile lifted on one side.

  “You’re different,” he replied as he sat down and looked over the meal. “I didn’t know you could cook.”

  “I used to cook for Grayson and Dad, mostly when Dad was busy with the shelter.” I wasn’t sure why I was opening up to him, but the idea of getting to know him actually excited me. “He used to fall asleep at the shelter, and I’d have to take him dinner. Some days he didn’t even come home or show up for conferences at the school. I guess I just kind of took over and filled the role when he became obsessed with prepping the Ark.”

  “He probably felt it through you, the end coming. It’s likely that Shamus used compulsion on him to hurry the process. Had I taken a closer look at what was happening in your life at the time, I might have stepped in a bit sooner. Like I said, I tried to check in on you every chance I got—but between tracking what your mother was doing and being busy with our bunkers, I didn’t pay much attention to what was driving your father, and just assumed he was sensing what was going to happen because of you. Almost twenty years ago, we broke ground on our own bunkers and began scouting for potential candidates who would be needed for rebuilding society. They all knew where to go in the case of a catastrophic event, so when the virus hit, the candidates who survived brought their families, or what remained of their families, to the nearest bunker.”

  “So you knew?” I asked.

  “The other Guardians and I knew something was coming, just not what or when it would hit. The other Sentinels sensed it to a lesser degree, but they knew too. Our role is to police the immortals; to be sure they do not kill too many humans or step out of the shadows. It’s not our only role. We also help the humans regrow when the need arises. As I said before, we rebuild this world and wipe away the history of what our part was that we played within it,” he said as he piled his plate with slices of roast. “You felt it, the pull; the need to save the people. You felt the need to protect life. You took action because you are a leader. As am I. The others need one or both Guardians to follow. To lead them. What happened this time is a global threat, rather than a regional or continental one, so logically we would be intended to lead this side of the world and Adriel and Lailah would be expected to lead on that side,” he said before he shoved a forkful of meat into his mouth and chewed.

  I did the same, and chewed, and chewed, and chewed. I swallowed the dry meat and looked at him as he choked it down, and used his water to hide it from me. He took another bite, smiled weakly, and I shook my head.

  “It’s horrible,” I laughed nervously.

  “It really is,” he agreed as he downed more water. “Who taught you to cook?”

  “Apparently not Martha Stewart,” I murmured sheepishly as I chewed my bottom lip. The vegetables were raw, still hard, and not even halfway cooked through. I frowned at the spread, because it looked great. It tasted like shit. He took another bite and I winced as the sound of raw potatoes being chewed filled the room. “Stop eating it, it’s bad. They’re not even cooked.”

  He laughed and watched me as he continued to chew the raw vegetables. I blushed and scrunched up my nose. At least the meat wasn’t raw, but how I’d managed to get the meat dry, and yet the vegetables undercooked, was beyond me.

  “I have to say; it’s the best meal anyone has cooked for me in a very long time.” How he could say that with a smile on his face after the awful meal puzzled me.

  “That’s sad, because I’m not sure we should even feed it to animals. They may keel over from it,” I replied. “How about wine on the sofa?” I cringed with how stupid I sounded.

  “That sounds like seduction, and very tempting,” he replied. “Alas, I have other obligations to tend to.” He looked over the outfit I wore as I stood. “Very tempting,” he whispered huskily. And just like that, he left me standing in the dining room, alone, with a bottle of wine and a crappy meal. Yeah, some seductress I was.

  Chapter 22

  I’d been unable to sleep, so a noise coming from the main living area was a welcome distraction. I’d spent the last few hours going over everything that Azrael had disclosed to me, and sorting through my own feelings. I also had to consider the reality that Jaeden and Lachlan weren’t going to be storming in to rescue me; I’d been left to my own devices, and I was once again on my own. I padded down the hallway to the main living area, dressed in a soft baby blue camisole and matching shorts that had lace on the bottom of them.

  “Azrael?” I whispered sleepily. He had been looking outside with his back to me, but once he turned towards me, my mouth quirked into a soft smile.

  “You’re still up?” he remarked, and I nodded at the stupid question. I hadn’t been able to sleep, mostly because of sorting through all the shit in my head. He frowned, and I felt as if something was off. My stomach flipped, and I felt as if someone had torn my insides out, only they weren’t my emotions. They were his.

  I wasn’t sure how I knew it, but I did.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked, stepping closer to him as he watched me come closer until I stood right in front of him. “Are you hurt?” I ran my hand over his arm as I looked for any injuries. He must have been back for a while, as he was freshly showered and wearing a long-sleeved Henley and jeans.

  “I’m fine,” he murmured as he dropped a gentle kiss
to my forehead. I wondered how it would feel to never touch someone else without killing them. His hands drifted down my shoulders, sending tiny bumps over my flesh. I wanted to wipe away the pain I felt, because if it wasn’t mine, it had to be his.

  I lifted my lips and claimed his, gently at first; my tongue pushed past his lips and found his in an ageless dance. His hands lowered to my hips, and I tried to move closer. One minute I was standing, and before I knew what I’d done, I jumped up and wrapped my legs around him. His hands cradled my face as if he was afraid I’d disappear, which wasn’t a possibility.

  He started to stride towards the hall, and I didn’t stop him. I deepened the kiss, and struggled to get his shirt up and over his head. It wasn’t as easy as it should have been, since I wasn’t ready to stop kissing him. He pulled away as he pushed me against the wall. He pulled his shirt up and off, then mine was off and flying across the hallway as he claimed my lips in a toe-curling kiss that left me boneless.

  “I swear, if you stop this now, Emma, I won’t be able to do as you ask,” he warned, but I was past that point. There was no going back. I wanted him. It was that simple. I wanted this man more than I’d ever wanted anything else in my life. I wasn’t sure why, I only knew I wanted him so much that it hurt me. It terrified me, but none of that mattered as long as he was touching me. It was like finding home after being lost in the woods for weeks.

  “Don’t stop,” I breathed against his mouth as he pushed open a different bedroom door and soft lights automatically lit, creating a romantic atmosphere. I looked up as he kissed my neck, and discovered the solar system had been recreated on the ceiling in tiny white lights. He had Venus and other constellations depicted in perfect detail. I slid down his body, and yanked at the button and zipper of his pants, which he helped me remove. I slid to the floor, taking his cock between my lips, and watched as his eyes grew large and round as a pained moan exploded from his lips.