“But eventually she’ll be able to.” Jaeden studied me contemplatively, as if he was weighing his options. “How do I know this isn’t just bullshit? You seem to think she’s yours,” he ground out.
“She has always been mine,” Azrael stated firmly. “We are a mated pair. That is how our kind is created. You had her for a time, while I was detained. I came for her and I will not let her go. One thing I know about Emma is, she wouldn’t forgive me if I didn’t warn you what would happen if you tried to convince her to remain with you.”
“No,” I interrupted before this could go any further. I wouldn’t give Jaeden the option of the wrong choice. “I would hate myself, and I wouldn’t age. You would. Think of it as if I remained mortal and you immortal. I’m not watching you die. I can’t lose anyone else. You don’t get to decide this,” I growled, my hands trembling with frustration. No way in hell was I allowing Jaeden’s lips or any part of him close to mine.
“I love you,” Jaeden whispered. “Not enough to change who I am.” He gave me a look filled with longing and regret before he turned and left me in the room alone with Azrael.
“You have no right to look happy!” I shouted. “Damn you! I could have killed him.”
“You wouldn’t have killed him. Your powers don’t work that way,” he murmured, his eyes watching me carefully. “Besides, you wouldn’t have kissed him. Your soul is locked to mine. You may have wanted to kiss him, but I would have stopped it before it got that far. I wouldn’t have let you hurt him because it would have hurt you more. Not that I wouldn’t want the man who took what is mine gone, but I’m bigger than that. That doesn’t mean I like it, Emma. It doesn’t mean I have to like him either. I can’t blame him for wanting to keep you. You’re very addictive.”
Chapter 33
I walked down the aisle of the store we were currently sourcing from. Sears was a hell of a find, one that we weren’t walking away from until we had gotten everything we needed out from the building. The barred security gates had been pulled down and locked to prevent looters from taking whatever they wanted, however locked gates weren’t a deterrent to a Sentinel. That much was for sure.
“Load the generators first,” I instructed. “We need them, and then clothes.” Jaeden and Lachlan were looking for semi-trucks with trailers while the others cleared the streets to get them through. “Load up the truck and the SUVs while we wait,” I ordered. We’d stayed away from the downtown area before, since we’d assumed it would have been the first area looted. This time, we went all-out and had stolen a 26’ U-Haul truck on our way into Spokane. It would hold a ton of stuff, but there was a lot we needed to take back.
I was pretty sure the guys had planned this trip to get my mind off Grayson, but being in the mall reminded me of him. I’d spent a lot of time in North Town Mall, sourcing the comic book stores and clothing outlets to find him specific things he’d preferred. I swallowed the pain, noting that yesterday had been a little easier than today had been. Azrael had been right, sometimes it was easier, and then sometimes I couldn’t catch my breath because the pain hurt so badly.
I’d sensed Cayla following me, and ignored her for the most part. Nery was popping in and out, watching me, which sent chills down my spine as I wasn’t sure if they were Shamus’s eyes and ears when I was outside of the shelter. I wasn’t sure what was up with the pair, but they seemed scarce on most days, as if they were afraid of being too close to the Ark.
I also had Addy to consider now; her condition made it hard to leave her in charge of the Ark. While I knew she was strong enough, I worried about the stress it caused, because the day-to-day task of running the place was hard on anyone. Liam had stepped up; he’d asked her to marry him and that satisfied some of my worry, but there was still the fact that she was having a baby and shit could go sideways with that, even when civilization and working hospitals with doctors in them still existed. Nowadays, the risks were a lot higher.
I was looking for baby stuff, unsure what she would want or need, and being lost in my head wasn’t helping either of our situations. I rounded a corner and was shoved against the wall. Cerulean blue eyes smiled at me with heated lust in their depths.
“Sloppy, Emma, I could have killed you,” Azrael murmured as he kissed my forehead gently. “You have to stop that.”
“Stop what?” I whispered, chewing my lip to stop the sting of tears.
“Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders,” he replied, kissing away one of the tears that escaped.
“I worry, it’s what I do,” I replied with a shrug as I tried to pull my head out of the mush I’d been wading through.
“She’s not going to die, you won’t allow it. Women have been having babies since the dawn of time. You’re not alone, and that’s what’s really bothering you the most right now. Look around you; look at the people you draw to you. They’re good people. Grayson was blood; your father wasn’t. He was family by choice, as are your people,” he assured me, his lips slowly kissing the side of my neck until the butterflies took note and fluttered.
“Azrael, you aren’t supposed to be able to read my mind. It’s annoying,” I grumbled.
“It’s easy when you’re projecting everything you are thinking,” he said. He smiled against my flesh and pulled back, nodding when the pain eased a bit as the emotions faded.
“Failure hurts, and I think that’s what makes losing Grayson ten times worse. Knowing that I failed him and that, when I do fail, it cost someone their life. I won’t fail Addy. I can’t. Now, stop kissing me so I can find baby stuff. My brain stops working when you use those voodoo lips on me.”
“Like this?” he teased as he kissed my collarbone and nipped at it.
“Mmhm,” I agreed. “I’m pretty sure my father would be irate if he could see me running around with you. We’ve broken almost all of his rules for staying hidden and safe,” I replied.
“Lucky for him his daughter became stronger, and is immortal. I’m not sure he considered that before he came up with those rules. Besides, you have an army of immortals watching your back, and one addicted to watching your ass,” he murmured as he finally claimed my lips and gave me a kiss that sent heat rushing through me.
“Azrael,” I groaned as he bit softly into my bottom lip and pulled at it gently before he released it to smile, revealing Colgate-white teeth and a perfect boyish grin that made the butterflies flutter faster. “You make it impossible to get anything done; you know that, right?” I teased.
“Baby stuff,” he replied offhandedly. “That’s what we’re looking for, right? Let’s find Addy some baby stuff so you can be selected as godmother.”
“It’s important,” I emphasized. It was very important to me. I had to prove to her that I was happy about her baby. I really had to stop calling it a puppy, though. Although Lachlan had laughed about it, he told me that Liam was upset about the puppy comments. I’d joked around about that with Addy before I’d left the Ark to find Grayson, but now it was happening for real.
Lachlan had explained that the baby would be human, appear human, act human, and be as weak as one until the child was about sixteen, when the first shift would usually occur. The child would be a born wolf, and since Lachlan and Liam were blood brothers, the child would be considered royalty in their world. He’d explained about their hierarchy, but it had been hard to follow when my mind kept going back to pretty much everything that could go wrong with Addy.
“Very important; you go look down those aisles and I’ll take these ones,” he said with mock-seriousness, and handed me a flashlight, since my way included going down into the lower level, which was pitch black. Even though Sentinels could see at night as well as they did in the daylight, that area was like a black hole down there and it never hurt to be a little cautious.
I trotted down the stairs, turned on the flashlight and, before my eyes could adjust, bum
ped into Cayla. She giggled as I dropped the flashlight and I grabbed onto her to stop myself from falling. She smiled sadly, and I pulled away.
“Jesus, you scared me,” I laughed breathlessly as she nodded and I picked up the flashlight. I frowned when she just watched me with a look of hopeless desperation. “Everything okay?” I asked, and turned to find Nery illuminated by the flashlight, a frown on his ghostly features. “Hey, you guys okay, what’s up?” I asked again, and watched as Cayla’s frown deepened.
“I’m so sorry, Emma,” she whispered before she grabbed me, yanked on my arm and bit down into my forearm, hard. I struggled against her, and it only gave her more leverage to get her fangs into me like some sort of multicolored terrier.
“Cayla, what the fuck!” I screamed, feeling her draw my blood from the wound she’d made. She released my arm and backed away, not stopping to close the torn, shredded flesh as she looked at me sadly.
“It was this, or death,” she whispered as she tilted her head and slumped against the wall.
“What are you talking about?” I growled as I held my bleeding arm against my chest.
“What happened?” Lachlan asked as he came down the steps two at a time.
“She bit me,” I said with a confused frown. Why the fuck would she bite me? That was insane, even for her.
“It’s okay.” Nery’s voice was soothing, and I could feel him patting me on the back like a child as Cayla smiled and blood started to trickle from her nose.
“Oh my God,” I whispered. I’d killed her. Well, technically I was bringing her back to life, or my blood was. “Cayla, what did you do?” My question came out as a plea as I began shaking, physically shaking with fear that this was going to go way wrong on us. My luck sucked, it went from bad luck to ‘you’re fucked’ kinda luck. There was no good luck in me.
“Couldn’t do it anymore,” she wheezed. “Couldn’t go on or do as Master wanted anymore, so I chose this,” she coughed out; blood slid from her lips and dripped on her jacket as she dropped to her knees and it began oozing out of her eyes and ears.
“Get Jaeden,” I yelled with a tremble in my voice. I tore my eyes from Cayla to look at Lachlan. “Go get Jaeden, now,” I roared as Azrael started down the stairs to where we were at. He turned, armored up, and vanished. I pulled Cayla into my lap and stroked her hair away from her face. She’d dyed it red with sapphire blue highlights this time. “What were you thinking?” I sobbed, knowing she’d been through hell as a human, and she’d suffered a serious head wound when Shamus had found her. She’d always been a little out there, but this took the cake.
“You’re safe now, don’t worry, okay? I know what I am doing,” she coughed, and raised her eyes towards the stairs, where Jaeden stood looking down at us.
His turquoise eyes darted between me and Cayla, and then noted my torn and bloody forearm that Cayla had savagely gnawed on. I swallowed the guilt and eyed him, knowing I’d beg and plead for her life. He could change her back; if anyone could do it, Jaeden could.
“Jaeden, please,” I whispered, knowing he’d hear me. I watched as he ran his fingers through his hair as he made his way slowly down the stairs.
“What happened?” he snarled, turquoise eyes looking at me accusingly, or maybe that was my guilt talking.
“She touched me, and then she bit my arm,” I explained, holding up my arm which had since stopped bleeding as badly as it started to heal.
“She belongs to Shamus, we will call him,” he announced, but Cayla shook her head with what little strength she had left, and gave Jaeden a pleading look.
“You,” she begged as blood trickled from her lips. “Please, not him.”
“Cayla,” he murmured as he watched her. “Shamus is in charge.”
“Not for long,” she sighed cryptically. “What goes against must be righted, and what is right is never wrong…” She smiled, blood covering her teeth as her eyes flashed red before becoming vacant.
“If you plan to bring her back, do it soon,” Azrael advised, his eyes searching Jaeden’s face. “Unless you’re afraid of becoming mortal because she carries Emma’s blood now?”
“I’m not afraid of her blood. I’m afraid that Cayla may not be changeable. It took Shamus almost a year to do it the first time,” Jaeden replied, his tone clipped and angry as he stared down at us.
“I’d change the lass tae a wolf, but I ken she’d be unable tae control it if she is nae present in her mind.” Lachlan’s green eyes watched as more blood poured from her lips as I held her to me. “If ye turn mortal, mon, I’ll change ye tae a wolf,” he offered as he rubbed the back of his neck, and Jaeden chuckled.
“And what’s Nery got to say about all of this?” Jaeden asked, his eyes searching mine as he asked about the ghost they’d always assumed Cayla had made up.
“Nery?” I asked, but as I looked around, he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. “He’s gone.” I froze as I felt the icy coolness of Nery’s lips as he whispered in my ear.
“I told her to do this, Sentinel. You were her only hope to be released from Shamus. He has abused her since he first found her; horrible abuse that you can only imagine in the darkest of your nightmares. It didn’t take a year to turn her. He played with her for almost a year in the house I died in. He gave her the head wound and turned her because she was dying and he is possessive of his toys. Shamus can’t keep her; he isn’t what you think he is. You freed her, Sentinel. Now she will have a new master.”
“Jaeden,” I expelled a shuddering breath with what I was about to ask him. He had to follow Shamus’s orders, and this could put him directly in that vampire’s crosshairs. “You have to trust me in this; you have to change her right away, and Shamus can’t know about it,” I pleaded. “You have to become her master.”
“Emma, I can’t. It’s just not done in our world. It is the same as stealing,” Jaeden reasoned.
“Shamus is abusing her, has been for years. Which is worse? Stealing, or abusing a girl until she wants to die?” I cried.
“You’re certain of this?” Jaeden demanded as I nodded.
“Nery just explained what’s been happening and why she did this. Please, Jaeden,” I begged. “You have to help her.”
Jaeden sighed heavily as he reached down, and picked up Cayla’s slight weight. “I may be gone for a few days; she’ll need a quiet place to change,” he said quietly.
“Fourth floor of the bunker is a good place, it’s used only for the water purification system,” I replied. “Use the back entry, the one I showed you. The code is 1665. The back elevator can be used without dimming the lights from using the power, but only if you go straight down and don’t stop at any other floors.”
“If Shamus discovers her…”
“We tell him she accidentally brushed up against me,” I mumbled. “We tell him it was a mistake, and that we moved quickly to save her life.” I stared at him, watching as he swallowed hard. “If you turn mortal, we will figure out how to change you back as well. I won’t allow anything to hurt you, Jaeden, ever.” I meant it. Shamus wouldn’t touch him for this. I’d kill Shamus first, even if I had to hold him down and force my blood down his throat, then stab his nasty little heart as he became mortal.
“I appreciate the gesture.” He nodded as he turned to leave.
“Lachlan, have the men load up the trucks. I want everything we can fit loaded and out of this place as soon as possible. Have them empty out the tools and more important stuff first. I’d also like the entire baby-area packed up. It’s possible we may have more people pregnant than we know of at the shelter. Best to get it all,” I mused. “I’ll leave everyone with you; make sure they know what things to grab. Azrael will go with me, and we’ll hit up the Army Surplus over on Division Street. My father hid a stockpile of the MREs in the attic, so they should still be there. It’s gated and locked u
p tight like this place, or was the last time we were here together.”
“God speed, Emma,” Lachlan said, kissing my cheek before he turned, winked at Azrael, and started issuing orders to those who’d come this way during the commotion.
I turned, looked at the baby department, and grabbed a giraffe stuffed animal off the shelf. I looked at it and frowned. It wasn’t the crib or nursery set that I’d intended to get for Addy, but the situation with Cayla changed everything. I had no more time for sourcing baby stuff today. I needed to get back to the Ark and make sure Jaeden and Cayla remained hidden from Shamus so that Jaeden could save Cayla from what she’d done, and hopefully save her from Shamus.
“Addy will love it,” Azrael murmured, his eyes watching me as I frowned and turned to look at him.
“She’d love a nursery more. I saw her going through some catalogues yesterday that were like two years old,” I mused.
“She loves you. She knows you love her. You’re sisters. Tell her how you feel, and that you’ll go to war to protect her and her unborn child. Just be yourself.”
“Let’s go. By the way, you really suck at pep talks,” I replied, pushing the giraffe into my bag before I swung it on my back.
Chapter 34
We hadn’t been able to get the SUV we’d driven down here in through the cars that blocked the street on Division, so we’d left it covered with a tarp before starting out towards the Army Surplus store. We had left our jackets back at the SUV as the temperature outside was getting a lot hotter than it had been in the mall, and I was starting to regret not changing into a tank top before we left the car.
It was silent; no one was about, which was nice. We didn’t have to worry about being attacked, because we could hear anything within about a quarter of a mile moving. Nothing with a beating heart was close to us, not even a wild animal.
Death Before Dawn (Gaurdian's Diary Book 1) Page 28