by Nova Black
She shifted, moving her arm to intertwine with mine. “You were supposed to make me fall in love with you.”
She hesitated, breathing softly. “And you did.”
A soft tremor shook me. Shook us.
“Meghan.” She waited for me to look at her. But I couldn’t. If I did… I can’t say no to her — this woman who encompassed me with her touch, her sights, her scent. Her taste. It would be easier to deny air. Easier to ignore gravity.
If there was one time I needed to say no to her, it was this time.
She sighed, pulling me into her. “I don’t want to let you go. I can’t, Meghan.” Her kiss was soft and chaste, a warm brush of lips on my cheek.
Jesus. “I can’t. I can’t Lia. A mafia, Lia? Really?”
She was still. “There’s someone waiting to meet you. Give him five minutes of your time and then if you wish, you can leave. I will call you a cab myself, Meghan. I promise.”
~~~~
His name was Oscar and he owned the building. He owned a number of buildings and restaurants and nightclubs and apparently one very lucrative ice skating rink.
“I think we have a couple of skaters training there that could go professional!” He was tall and lean, his suit accenting his physique, salt and pepper beard and brown, smooth skin.
“It’s all about finding the right trainers. All the talent in the world means nothing without proper guidance.”
His eyes were intense and knowing like Lia’s. Like Azina’s. I doubted I needed to say anything at all to have a conversation with him.
He raised his brow, laughed. “You are exactly as Lia described you.”
Right. “She said you wanted to talk to me.” Talk now and quickly, Oscar. I’m not joining any criminal organization.
He harrumphed, leaning back in his chair to study me.
A thought occurred: What if they want FBI secrets from me or something? What if they wanted to use me as some sort of double agent?
I heard Zi’s snort coming from the kitchen and I sat back, folding my arms. Should I cover my fucking head with tinfoil? Jesus, I can’t be that easy to read!
I looked longingly at the door. This is nuts. Three more minutes and I’m gone.
Oscar shot a disapproving look toward the kitchen before turning to me. “Meghan, I don’t have a strong opinion one way or the other whether you become part of our Kinship. I’ve read your file, and while you have skills we can use, they are hardly unique.”
Great. We done?
He sighed, crossing his legs. “What is unique is Lia’s infatuation with you. Even Azina adores you — and the number of people Zi truly cares for are counted in two fingers.”
I waited, content to let the time tick away.
He smiled, and I suddenly noticed how handsome he was. It made me uncomfortable. Were they all model gorgeous or something?
His lips twitched in amusement and I blushed. Fuckin’ witches, the lot of them.
Oscar became very serious, holding my gaze. “Lia is very important to me. Her happiness is important to me. I’m willing to let you stay in the FBI, Meghan. There is a recently vacated apartment on the third floor of this building. You can reside there and spy to your heart’s content.”
What?
“What!” Zi called from the kitchen. Lia shushed her.
“Talk to your superiors, but in the morning please – I have some local feathers I must unruffle first — and tell them our offer. They will undoubtedly be quite pleased.”
I shook my head, feeling suddenly claustrophobic. Lost in the brush and the predators circling. Goddamn. I can’t. There’s no way I could be like them. Do what they do.
That’s not me. It’s not me.
He nodded, “Tell them the deal is you can reside with us as long as you want, at no cost. You will stay as a,” he smiled again, “as a friend of the family. We will not restrict whatever information you give your superiors. All we ask is no one, no one, outside the family steps foot in that apartment. If that happens, the offer is terminated.”
My mouth was hanging open, a deep pressing weight clenching the pit of my stomach. “You’re telling me you are inviting a spy, a government spy, to stay with you. Because you don’t want Lia to become sad? Are you kidding me?”
He stood. “I have confidence in the members of my family to maintain their usual degree of discretion and levelheadedness. Also, Meghan, I think we both know Lia would be a bit more than “sad” if you were to leave.”
A hat appeared from under his arm. He put it on, tugging it to a jaunty angle.
“Remember, give me to the morning before you relay this offer to your superiors.” He nodded at me once more, heading towards the door.
I blinked. What just happened? No, really… what just fucking happened?
“She’s about to freak out,” Zi stage whispered to Lia.
Damn fucking right, I am.
Lia’s Story
I waited. I resisted going to her, for all that I wanted to; my instincts telling me for the moment to leave her alone.
From the kitchen I watched the line of Meghan’s shoulders, the tilt of her head. The clenched hands resting on her lap. Her breathing, the chest moving heavy.
She turned away from me.
Zi touched my arm, whispered, “She will stay with you, Lia.”
Oscar left after giving her an offer: Meghan can stay with us while holding on to her old life. She can be a guest of my family and stay in the FBI.
It was a gift to me and more than gracious.
Zi handed me a cup of hot tea, sweetened with honey and I held it for warmth, touching the cup against my closed lips. Seconds ticked by and Meghan didn’t alter position. Keeping her secrets.
I waited.
I waited for a tilt of the head, the resolve of a straightened back. I waited for acceptance. Fingers uncurling, the untightening of her chest and shoulders.
If... If she did those things, she would turn and smile at me.
Or, if I lost her, her head would rise, stiff and unyielding. Her shoulders would pull back, pushing the burden of my affections away. She would shake her head. Maybe bit her lip at the pain of rejecting me.
I waited and she gave me nothing. My eyes began to water. I blinked to clear them.
Zi touched my back and I shuddered. “Breathe, Lia.” Her arms engulfed me, taking the shaking cup from my hand to set on the counter.
When did Meghan learn how to hide from me? I can’t lose her. I can’t lose both Brenda and her.
Zi’s arms tightened. She smelled of almonds and honey. Of home.
I can’t, I can’t… Not again.
And then, I saw it: Meghan gave a small shake of her head, an even smaller lift of her left shoulder. Her head tilting to the right.
Zi sighed, hot air funneling down my neck. She kissed my shoulder, murmured, “See, I told you.”
It wasn’t acceptance, nor was it a rejection. It was indecision, a pulling back to the sidelines and waiting.
It was enough.
“You guys can stop fucking staring at me, now.”
Zi barked out a laugh, shaking the bones in my back. “But you’re so cute.”
Meghan shook her head again, stormy eyes focused on me. “Yeah, adorably clueless is what you called me.”
Zi shrugged, pulling from behind me to open the refrigerator. “I’m not wrong, am I, Lia?”
I didn’t answer, my hands still gripping the counter, the warm cup on my thumb. There was something Meghan wasn’t telling me and I watched her.
She returned my stare, holding it angrily. “I will stop by your office tomorrow, Lia, with my boss to discuss terms of your… boss.”
I pushed past the anger, past the confusion… Ah. Hurt and betrayal. Fear.
“I did not ask Oscar to make that offer. But, I am grateful he did. I’m not trying to trap you. I'm not forcing you to stay with me, Meghan."
“The fuck if you're not trying to do just that, Lia.”
I said nothing and she looked away, breathing hard. “I was promised a cab.”
My eyelids flickered. “I will drive you.” My purse was on top of the credenza in the hallway.
Zi followed.
“Fucking bring her back to us Lia,” she said passing me, heading to her room.
I nodded at her retreating back. She hated when I complicated our lives. She hated becoming attached to something or someone that could leave her, could hurt her.
For her, Brenda had been enough.
“Lia,” Meghan called from the kitchen. “I can get my own cab. Where is your phone?”
“We don’t have a landline, Meghan. And getting a cab here this late will take some time. Let me do this, please.”
I picked up my keys and opened the door. Sighing heavily, she followed, her steps quiet on the thick carpet.
The elevator ride was strained. Meghan pushed as far into the corner as she could fit, eyes straight ahead.
“Please stop staring at me, Lia.”
I blinked and nodded, shifting my gaze.
By the time we reached ground level, she was rocking on the balls of her feet in rigid silence, her emotions a heavy third presence in the elevator. The doors opened, a whispered hush. She waited for me to exit first.
The Maserati was back in its parking space and I took out the appropriate key from my purse. Though it had been gone for only a short time, I had missed it. There are a few things I fall deeply in love with for the most unfathomable reasons. I don’t try to discern why, holding on to them until, inevitably, they left.
Meghan stared at the passenger seat, shaking her head at the immaculate new state of it. “That must have been one expensive swim in the ocean.”
I shrugged. It had been fucking worth it.
The car started and I watched her, waiting for her to decide whether or not to get in. “You could stay the night, Meghan. We do have the room.”
She shot me a look and opened the door a little rougher than necessary, sitting down, nervous fingers smoothing the leather.
I drove in silence on the dark and mostly empty streets. The lights were working in my favor and I pushed it, enjoying the responsive purr of the engine under my hands and feet.
Meghan stared out her window, fingers curled on her lap.
Our first red light and I shifted gears, waiting.
“You did warn me, didn’t you?” Her voice was heavy, quiet.
I glanced at her. “Yes, love. I did.”
She sighed. “Pull over, Lia.”
I did so immediately, slowing next to a wide strip of grass, a pair of unplanted trees laid on their sides, roots wrapped next to the ragged exposed stump of a much larger tree – raw and recently felled.
“What do you do in this organization, exactly?”
I smiled. “I’m not going to tell you that, Meghan.”
She sighed, looking away. “Do you hurt people? Do you steal from them? Do you make them …”
“What do you think?”
She threw up her hands, clapping them down on her lap. “I don’t know, Lia. That’s the point. I don’t know you. I know you give good head. I know you are a fantastic lover and throw great parties, but I don’t even know what your fucking favorite color is.”
“Blue.” I grinned at her expression. “Does that information change anything?”
“I need more than that, Lia.”
I sat back, turning the car off. “Okay. One question, as deeply personal as you wish. Nothing about what I do, or don’t do with the Kinship.”
She thought about it.
“In return, Meghan, I get to talk to you for a few minutes, tell you my side.”
“Alright.” She studied me, her eyes squinting. “What is the absolutely worst thing you’ve ever done? It must be something you are ashamed of.”
I blinked a few times, turning away. “I don’t shame easily, Meghan.”
The wind was thick with humidity, smelling of salt and sand and the rambling thoughts of midnight.
“But there is something, right?”
“Yes.” A few things.
Her eyes slid to me. “Well?”
“I broke apart a family once.” I shrugged. “Which was not stellar morally, and certainly not a great moment of decision making. However, someone important to me was hurt, really hurt, as a result.”
“Like, you slept someone’s husband?” She considered, “Or wife?”
“Yes. And their father, sister, son, aunt… Basically anyone over legal age with a last name of Olson was in my sights.”
She regarded me mutely. Looked away. Turned back. “Tell me.”
“It was an experiment, of sorts. I was young and amazed such a thing could happen. Each person, each individual had a different need I was somehow able to fill - momentarily, at least. I couldn’t stop, fascinated by how easy it was, how simple it was to know what they wanted and become that thing for those moments.”
I glanced at her. “It wasn’t like they were all one night stands. I courted them, I dated them. Individually and sometimes not individually.”
Meghan’s brow raised but she didn’t ask.
I continued. “Most knew about me and the other’s role, but it was not particularly discussed. Nobody was proud of themselves. And then the inevitable happened.”
“Someone became jealous or possessive?”
“Yes.” I stared at the ragged tree. The two replacements on their sides.
“The coward found out where I lived, came to my home to scare me, maybe rough me over a bit. What he found was Zi sleeping alone in my bed.”
Meghan was quiet for a while. “What happened, Lia?”
“He was incensed that I was with someone, someone who was obviously more than a fling. More than… an experiment. He saw her clothes in my closet, her toothbrush next to mine. He was not a nice man, but I thought…” My heart clenched at the arrogance of my younger self, “It doesn’t matter what I thought.”
“Lia?”
I closed my eyes. “He beat her.”
Meghan swallowed. “Bad?”
“He hit her with anything he could lift, and some things he shouldn’t have been able to. Broke her arm, her wrists. Fractured her leg in three places, bruised most of her bones below the waist. Almost every inch of her skin was bloody and bruised. Then he dragged her outside and dumped her in the back of his car. Drove for miles.” Oh my Love, I’m so sorry. “Eventually he had second thoughts about killing her and threw her out in the middle of nowhere.”
“Jesus, Lia. Just…. shit!”