“I’m proud of you. I know this wasn’t an easy decision for you to make but I’m glad you did.”
“What the hell do you do on dates these days? Do you kiss on the first date? Or more? I’m out of the loop,” I complain draining the wine from my glass in one gulp.
“First, whatever you wear will look great. Think sexy but comfortable. Any idea where you’re going?”
“He just mentioned dinner.”
“Hmm, I may need to do a little recon then.” She winks conspiratorially as she sips her wine.
“Hey now.”
“Leave it to me. I can wheedle it outta him when he comes in for coffee. Second, you can kiss him if you want or not. It’s all up to you. Or if you decide you want to ride that pony all night long, go for it.” She starts singing Ginuwine’s Pony.
“Jesus, would you please stop,” I can barely breathe around my laughter when she jumps up and starts dancing. “I don’t think I’m ready to go there yet.”
“Damn and here I was thinking I was gonna get the play-by-play and live vicariously through you,” she pouts.
“You can always find your own pony to ride.”
“In this town? No thanks.”
“Lucky for you it’s a tourist town, and it’s the busy season. If you’re just wanting to scratch an itch, you always have that option.”
“They’re either married or old enough to be my dad.” She upends her glass.
“Am I being crazy?”
“About dating?” At my nod she continues, “No. It’s been three years since you lost him, Danielle. You deserve to have a little fun or hell even find love again. He’d want that for you.”
“That’s what Lila said.”
“Lila?”
“Apparently she’s been dreaming about James and said he wants us to be happy.”
“Heavy stuff for a three-year-old. No nightmares though?”
“I don’t think so. She seems to sleep okay. Lord knows if she mumbles from across the hall, I can hear her.”
“Want me to watch her while you go on your date?”
“Sure, if you don’t mind. You can just crash over here or take her to your place.” Jessa’s apartment is just across the hall as she also lives in the converted top floor of the building.
“I’ll let her destroy your place. Your place is kid proofed.” She stills to the kitchen and places her glass in the kitchen sink. “Okay when Carson comes in tomorrow, I’ll give him the third degree.” I give her a glare. “Subtly. But now I’m headed to bed. Five comes way too damn early in the morning.”
“We both know that you'll hit the snooze until six,” I call out to her retreating back.
“Very true. See you in the morning.” The door closes with a soft click and the room is quiet again.
Chapter Twelve
Zach
“It sure was nice of you to treat us to dinner, Zach,” Mom gushes as the hostess sits us at a table in the back corner of the steak house. The conversation is muted in the room with the occasional clinking of silverware on glass plates.
“It’s my pleasure, Mom.”
“It’s always nice to eat out on someone else’s dime,” Wes jokes as he pulls out his chair. Dad sits between me and Mom to round out the group. The hostess keeps glancing at me like she can’t figure out where she knows me from as she hands us the menus.
“Jeremy will be your waiter and he will be with you momentarily.” She smiles before departing.
Everyone opens their menu and Mom reaches into her purse for her reading glasses. “Can they make it any dimmer in here?” she grumbles. “I may need to use the flashlight on my phone to even read this darn thing.”
“Good evening,” a voice sounds from behind me. “My name is Jeremy and I’ll be taking care of you tonight. Can I start you off with something to drink?” Beers are ordered from me and Dad, a glass of red wine for Mom, and sweet tea for our designate dumbass, I mean driver. My attention is caught by a flash of long, straight blonde hair being seated at a table across the room. Her back is to me but the guy she’s with looks familiar. Jeremy returns with our drinks and places them on the table.
“What the hell are you staring at so hard?” Wes nudges me with his elbow and I look up to see Jeremy looking at me in question.
“Do you know what you’d like to order, sir?”
“Oh, I’ll take the ribeye, medium rare with the loaded baked potato. Salad, no tomatoes, ranch dressing.”
“Good choice, sir.” He taps away at the tablet in his hand before offering a smile. “I’ll be back shortly with your appetizers.”
“What has garnered your attention so thoroughly, Zachary?” Mom asks as she unrolls her silverware.
“Just thought I saw someone familiar.”
“Where?” She looks around wildly.
“Good grief, Mom. Could you be a little more discreet?” I mutter. “She’s sitting at a table behind you on the other wall.”
Comically she lets her napkin slide off the table onto the floor and reached down to pick it up while looking in the mystery woman’s direction. As she sits back up her, her eyes are the size of saucers and her mouth is open in shock.
“The guy looks familiar too.” She takes a sip of wine before clearing her throat.
“Yes, well, that’s Carson Madsen, I believe. Or one of the Madsen brothers.”
“Oh yeah that is Carson,” Wes pipes in. His gray eyes narrow before widening in surprise.
“What?”
“Um, yeah she should look familiar,” he replies before taking a long swig of iced tea, gaze averted from mine.
“What is going on? Who is it?” I ask exasperated with the secrecy. “Is it that big of a deal who Madsen’s eating with?”
“No not really, Zach. I mean that it's not surprising Carson is on a date it’s just who he’s with that is, well, startling.”
“It’s Dani, isn’t it?” Dad challenges with a grin. “Boy finally convinced her.”
Dani. Oh shit. My heart stutters when her tinkling laugh drifts over the room. Her back stiffens as if she can feel my gaze burrowing into her back. She glances over her shoulder, her eyes roving over the room until they lock with mine. They widened fractionally before she turns back around. She must have said something to Carson as he peers over her shoulder and gives a smug smile like the cat that ate the damn canary. His lips move and she responds with a small shake of her head.
They deliver our food to the table, but my attention keeps returning to the couple sitting intimately together. My steak tastes like sawdust in my mouth, the potatoes wall paper paste. Conversation carries on around me as I vaguely hear my mother ask Wes how the wedding planning was going. I noticed that my mother avoided asking why Melanie didn’t join us for dinner tonight.
Their waitress clears the dishes from the table, and I seethe when Carson reaches over and places his hand over Dani’s. And she. Doesn’t. Pull. Away. My hand grips the table until my knuckles hurt under the pressure.
“Dude, you need to calm the hell down, right now,” Wes orders, his voice ringing with authority. His hand comes down on my forearm with a harsh squeeze.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I grate out.
“That’s why you’re eyeing her like a tiger stalking his prey. You’ll leave your fingerprints permanently indented into this table top with how hard you're holding it.”
Letting the table go, I work the stiffness out of my fingers. “I thought she didn’t date,” I accuse my brother before glancing at my father. The small smile hidden behind his beard tells me there’s something up his sleeve.
“Well, good for her. It’s about time she got out there again,” Mom enlightens the table.
“Of course, it is,” Dad adds in his two cents. “And Carson is a good guy.”
“Yeah, Carson will treat her right,” Wes agrees, flicking his gaze between me and the person in question.
Carson stands from his chair before helping Dani to stand up, the dress she’s weari
ng swinging seductively on her thighs. He steers her toward our table before she realizes his intent, the surprise easily read on her face, the stuttered steps she takes.
“Good evening, Marshall family,” Carson addresses the table with a Cheshire Cat grin before shaking hands with my dad and giving my mom a kiss on the cheek. He gives Wes and I a quick nod of his head in acknowledgment.
“Hello Carson, Dani. It’s nice to see you both.” Mom beams up at them as Dad scoots his chair back to stand. He tugs Dani to his side giving her a hug before dipping his head to speak to her in a low tone I’m unable to make out. She gives him a small smile, her eyes softening.
“We don’t want to interrupt your dinner, just wanted to say hello,” Dani mutters glancing around the table until she stops on me. I’m not sure what look I had on my face, but she takes half a step back bumping into Carson’s chest.
“Nonsense. You’re not intruding. Would you like to join us for dessert?” Mom tries to smooth over the moment as the tension between me and Dani rises to the surface. “I hear they have a marvelous turtle cheesecake.”
“No but thank you for the offer. We’re going to the ice cream shop down the road. I promised Dani the best banana split I’ve ever eaten and she’s going to put it to the test.”
“Well, that sounds delicious too.”
“Enjoy the rest of your evening.” With his hand riding too damn low on Dani’s back he ushers her toward the front of the restaurant. As they walk outside, I see him place his arm around her shoulders and pull her close.
“Yep, you’re over her. It’s as plain as the nose on my face,” Wes chuckles from beside. Shooting him a glare, I realize maybe I’m not as over her as I thought I was.
Later that night, I’m standing, my arms braced on the pine railing, the moon bright in the night sky. Neither the soothing sounds of the water lapping at the shoreline or the chirping of the crickets or the croaking of the damn frogs are doing their damn jobs tonight. My insides are rolling with the jealousy still coursing through me like an electrical current. Did she wait until I came back to town to start dating? Is she rubbing in my face what I lost when I left town? Did she have to pick such a damn good-looking guy?
“You’re thinking awfully hard out here.” My mom’s voice floats in from behind me. I never even heard her step onto the dock with its creaky boards.
“How do you know that I’m out here thinking? I could just be enjoying the peace and quiet.”
“That’s true. But this is always the place you’ve come to when you need to think about something with a clear head.” Her touch is gentle on my shoulder before she props her elbows on the railing to stare out over the water. “Are you finding any answers?”
“No, just a lot more questions,” I breathe out.
“Wanna talk it out?” she asks gently.
“Did I do the right thing, Mom?”
“To which thing are you referring?”
“All of it I guess.”
“You’ll never know the answer to that. Every choice you make creates a ripple in the water.”
“Don’t get philosophical on me, please.”
“Okay every choice you make has a consequence. Some good, some bad, but each one makes you the person you are today.”
“Hindsight is twenty-twenty though.”
“With some things, yes. But with others, your choices would have just taken you down another road that may have been worse.”
“Was I wrong to leave?”
“Back then? I would have said yes right after you left but that’s just me being a mother. Her first born out in the world on his own for the first time. It’s scared me to death.”
“And now?”
“I think it was the best decision for you. Look what you’ve accomplished.”
“But it hurt one of the people I loved the most.”
“It didn’t hurt me per se, but I sure missed you.” A ghost of a smile graces her lips. “But I don’t think you meant me, did you?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Danielle had her own path to travel, and it hasn’t been an easy one. For the longest time, I thought her path would be the same as yours.” She rests her head on my shoulder. “Fate had a different plan for the pair of you.”
“I can’t help but think of the what ifs.”
“You can think all you like but unless you invented a time machine, there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it.” She turns and walks back toward the house, her parting words floating on the breeze. “But you can do something about now.”
That’s the million dollar question though. What do I want to do?
Chapter Thirteen
Danielle
“So how did it go last night?” Jessa asks from the kitchen where she is working on her third cup of coffee since she barged in.
“It was nice.” I inhale the aroma of my perfectly fixed coffee before taking a sip of the sweetness.
“Nice? Nice?! Come on, give me more than that.”
“Well, I didn’t hit that if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“Why the hell not? I sure would have!”
“That’s not a step I’m ready to take.”
“But you’ll boink your brother-in-law.”
“That’s complicated, and it’s also over. We agreed that we need to quit using each other like that.”
“How was the steak house? I’ve been wanting to go but haven’t really had the opportunity.”
“It was good. The bread they bring out is to die for.”
“Yummy bread, can’t beat that.”
“Yeah and as luck would have it the Marshall family were having dinner at the same place.”
“All the Marshall family?”
“Yup.”
“I wonder why Melanie wasn’t there since she’s practically married in?”
“How do you know she wasn’t?”
“Because I saw her in the car with Bradley Matthews last night.” She gives me that look. The look you know something that you’re not supposed to know. Bradley is married to our friend Reagan and they own The Lodge, a wedding/gathering place further into the woods.
“Oh shit, really?!”
“Yeah, she tried to duck and cover, but I saw her.”
“Maybe they were just going to tour some property? At night?” I offer hesitantly even knowing how asinine it sounds.
“I bet they were going to do some exploring all right,” she replies with a wink.
“This isn’t funny, Jessalyn,” I bark out and feel bad when she looks ashamed. “Should I tell Wesley?”
“That I saw them in the car together? Hell no,” she points her finger at me. “You stay out of it.”
“But he’s my friend.”
“And do you think he’s going to want to hear something like this from you months before his wedding?”
“I’d want to know the truth.”
“What truth? All we have is speculation,” she shrugs. “Could’ve been completely innocent.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“Absolutely not,” she replies with a small shake of her head, brown strands bouncing across her shoulders.
“What about Reagan?”
“Convenient that’s she out of town visiting her family this weekend.”
“Are we going to tell her?”
“Again, tell her what? We don’t really know anything.”
“Maybe we can subtly mention you saw them, you know, in passing conversation.”
“I don’t know,” she murmurs before biting her lower lip.
“If he’s having an affair, I don’t want her blindsided.”
“If he is, she probably already has an inkling of what’s going on. Women always know when a man is doing her wrong. Admitting it to yourself is a whole different thing.”
“It doesn’t feel right,” I shrug. “Not telling her.”
“Okay, we’ll have her come over a night this week to catch up and I’ll causally mention
I saw them together.”
“And we’ll let her know that we’re here for her no matter what.”
“It’ll be hard for her to admit anything is wrong. You know she has to put on a happy face at all times.”
“But it’s us. If there’s anyone she’ll open up to it's her friends, right?”
“Sometimes our friends are the ones we want to fool the most.”
I have the feeling Reagan isn’t the only one she’s talking about.
* * *
The sun is shining brightly in the sky; the heat sweltering the later we move into the summer. My daughter’s shrieks from the backyard reassure me she hasn’t missed me too much as I walk up the path to my mother’s house. As I round the corner, I see my dad playing monster with my little angel and her escaping from his tickle attack. I lean on the chain-link fence and just watch them interacting remembering the times when Dad did that with me. Melancholy hits when I realize that James will never get to share that with Lila.
“Wipe that frown off your face right now, young lady,” Mom orders when she sees me standing there. Lila turns at the sound of her voice and her face lights up when she spots me, grandpa forgotten in her haste to rush towards me.
“Momma, momma, momma,” she chants as she sprints across the year as fast as her little legs will carry her. I barely clear the gate before she launches her little body into my arms.
“Hey, baby, did you miss me?” I place a kiss on her sun warmed hair.
“Uh huh.”
“A little or a lot?” I tease.
“Only a little. Nana let me stay up really late and Is watched Frozen,” she confesses. I catch Mom rolling her eyes at getting tattled on.
“I can’t believe you ratted me out, Lila,” Mom gasps, placing a hand on her chest dramatically.
“What rat, Nana?”
“Not an actual rat, baby. It means that you told on her,” I explain as she looks at the ground trying to find the rat.
“I not a tattletale,” she pouts, her lower lip sticking out. “That’s Bobbi Ann. She’s always telling her momma everything.”
Pieces of a Broken Heart: Whiskey Bend Series Book One Page 9