“Sorry Mark. I forget how young and inexperienced you are. The offer is there when you want it, but I warn you, I’m not getting on your ship unless we’re sharing sleeping quarters!” Sally said with a laugh in her voice.
“Hey, I’m not that young, I’m probably older than you are!” He retorted.
“You are forgetting the benefits of being in an advanced civilisation. The medical technology needed to stop ageing is pretty basic although well beyond human technology yet. But, like virtually every other member of an emergent civilisation, I don’t age.”
“So how old are you?”
“Let’s just say I started my military career when humans were starting to build pyramids.”
Mark realised that now was a good time to sit down. “But that was four and a half thousand years ago!”
“Yes, but time flies when you are having fun.” Sally said, with a smile.
“That would mean you are older than my mother! Shit, you’re even older than my grandmother!”
Sally rolled her eyes again. “Get used to it. You’re going to live a long time too.”
Mark sat silently, turning this over in his mind.
Sally looked concerned. “This doesn’t change anything between us, does it?”
“No, it's just, its a bit… I need to get my head round it.”
Mark looked up at her and held her gaze for a moment. “You’re in pretty good shape for an old woman.”
“Oh fuck off and get yourself sorted out.” Sally said with a grin. “I’ve got work to do. I’ll be going to bed in about four hours if you change your mind.”
Mark didn’t know how to respond to that, but it made him blush even more. He stood up and left without a word and walked back to the team quarters. Having broken the news to Sally, Mark now had to tell the other members of the team.
An Unwanted Guest
Mark walked into the team quarters and found Mike laying on her bunk, Orange at the table and Simon just out of the shower getting dressed.
Simon looked over at him and said “You look a bit red in the face. Have you been running?”
“Yes.” Mark lied. “While we’re all together, I want to tell you I will be leaving. I’m staying on Mother when Alan leaves, but I’ll see you again when I visit the army.”
“So you’re leaving too. There will be no-one left soon.” Orange said.
“Yes, Sally told me Ti’rrk won’t be back.” Mark replied.
“Not just her.” Simon added.
“Who else is leaving?” Mark asked, a bit surprised.
“I am.” Mike said.
“Really! I thought you would be with the army forever. So, where are you going?” Mark asked her.
“With you.” She told him.
Mark stood staring with his mouth open. Shocked would be an inadequate description of his reaction. Simon and Orange burst out laughing and Mike had a big grin on her face. Mark's legs buckled and he sat down on Mike’s bunk.
“I told you he would be pleased.” Spluttered Simon.
“He looks overwhelmed with happiness.” Orange gasped through his laughter.
“But, but, but…”
“You’re too excited for words, aren’t you?” Mike said to Mark.
“But, but…” Mark repeated.
“That’s OK, you can thank me later. So we’re staying on Mother for a while are we?”
“Yes. I mean, I am. But I don’t understand. What will Sally say? What about Alan?” Mark said.
“Alan said if that’s what you want then it’s OK with him, but he said he didn’t think you would be on Mother for long because you would want your own ship. Although he said craft. Sally said it was a good idea as I would keep you out of trouble.”
“Sally said… but I’ve only just told her!”
“It doesn’t take a genius to work out you wouldn’t be staying in the army. I spoke to her earlier today.”
“But you, keep me out of trouble? From what I’ve heard you’re more likely to get me into trouble. Anyway, you’ve seen the armour, or protection, I’ve got. Nobody can hurt me.”
“I think Sally is more concerned about you inadvertently starting a war. We’ve all seen your grasp of tact and diplomacy in action. Anyway, you don’t get a choice in this, it’s been decided.” Mike informed him.
“Decided, by who?” Mark demanded.
“Sally and me. So get used to it.” Mike answered with a smile.
“Don’t you believe in the doctrine of freedom of choice?” Mark asked her.
“I don’t know what that is, but you have complete freedom to do what you are told. So where are we going first?”
“Earth. Well, I am. I don’t think you will blend in too well there.”
“That’s fine. I expect you can manage on Earth by yourself for a while without causing too much chaos. I can spend time reading, playing music and designing my quarters.”
Mark turned to Simon and Orange. “What just happened to my life?” He asked them plaintively.
Simon paused, looking thoughtful for a moment, then said “Well, I think it’s what’s known technically as completely fucked. And the worst thing is, for you anyway, is that now you’ve joined the post emergent civilisations you’ll live a very long time.”
“Can you just kill me now?” Mark asked.
“It would be an act of mercy.” Simon said. “But I don’t want to piss Sally off. Remember the army communication protocols?”
“How could I forget them!”
“Keep them in mind and learn to use them too. If you want to stay with Sally, or anyone as a partner, man or woman, you’d do well to remember them. Except Mike. You can piss her off as much as you like.”
“And fuck you too.” Mike responded.
“What was that you said about my own ship?” Mark asked Mike.
“You’re a bit slow on the uptake. You need a nanny, and you did say I’d make a good one. Alan said he didn’t think you would be on Mother for very long because you’d probably want your own ship, or craft.”
“OK. Er, I’ll need to speak to Alan about that.”
“No time like the present.” Mike said. “Go on, off you go.”
“You can forget any idea you have about being the chief nag if you’re coming with me. I need to think about what I want before I speak to Alan next.”
“Forward planning? I think you have officer potential.” Mike said.
“Yeah, I’m going to be captain of my own ship, I mean craft, soon. Drink anyone?” Mark’s question was met with a chorus of no’s, so he got himself a mug of tea and climbed up on his bunk with it to consider what he wanted from his own ship.
As he lay there sipping his tea, he reflected that only a couple of weeks ago his greatest technological ambition was to get the new Xbox. Now he was thinking about the specification he wanted for his own personal starship that could travel instantly to anywhere in the universe. And the strangest thing was, it seemed perfectly normal. It’s surprising how quickly people get used to new situations.
Although it was only a few hours since he had been woken up in the medical room, while Mark was laying on his bunk, he fell asleep.
The Last Supper
Mark woke to find Mike shaking his shoulder.
“Come on Mark, time to get out of bed.”
“What? Why? What’s happening?” Mark asked, still half asleep.
“Orange and Simon are going down to the planet in a few hours. It would be good if we could all eat together before they go.”
“Oh, yeah. Seems like a good idea.” Mark said sleepily. He swung his legs over the side of the bunk and dropped down to the floor.
“Mark, sleeping in your clothes is one thing, but you ought to take your boots off in bed.” Mike admonished him.
“Er, yeah. I’m sure you’re right. You seem to be getting the hang of this nanny thing, nagging me and telling me how to live. Keep it up and I’ll push you out of an airlock. What happened to my tea?”
; “I took it away when you fell asleep. You were going to spill it over your crotch and although it would have been funny if you woke up and thought you’d wet yourself, if we’re going to be travelling together we will have to start looking after each other.”
“Simon! Orange!” Mark called out. “Someone’s kidnapped Mike and left a slightly more bearable impostor in her place!”
“Fuck you!” Mike said with a grin. “Go freshen up and then we’ll eat.”
“OK, one thing, now we are leaving the army and won’t be soldiers anymore, let’s make an effort to cut down the swearing eh? Alan’s always on at me about it.”
“I’ll try, but I’ll not make any promises.” Mike replied with a smile and flicked out her long forked tongue at him.
Mark showered and put on a fresh jumpsuit, underwear and boots.
“OK, shall we order?” Mark asked.
“I’m ready.” Mike Said.
“Just coming.” Orange added.
“It’s a pity Ti’rrk and Sally can’t join us.” Mark said to Mike.
“Ti’rrk never ate with us. I think Ants don’t like others seeing them eat, but Sally will be here in soon.” Mike answered. “Are you going to have that meal you call teppanyaki?”
”No, I’ll have the thing I had when I ate with Sally a couple of days ago. Or maybe something else that Sally eats. Apparently we can eat the same stuff.”
At that moment Sally walked in. “Sorry if I’ve kept you waiting.”
“You haven’t. We’re all just about ready, I’ve just ordered mine.” Mike informed her.
“Sally, I really liked that thing we had the other night. I’ll have what you’re having. I’m bored with pizza, teppanyaki and all day breakfasts, and they are the only things I’ve got patterns for.”
“OK, but don’t blame me if you don’t like it.”
Sally ordered for them, the others got their meals and sat down to eat. The extractor fan directly above Orange helped to keep the sulphurous smell of his food to a minimum but it still made its presence felt.
“This is good.” Mark said to Sally when he tried the food she had ordered.
“When you go back to Earth, get as many samples as you can and get your AI to copy them.”
“Great idea! But I want to resign from my job, obviously, so I’m not going to have much money to buy lots of meals in restaurants.”
“Mark, you are a Friend of the People. They are the most powerful race in the galaxy…”
“The universe.” Mark interrupted.
“What?”
“You said they are the most powerful race in the galaxy. Actually, they are the most powerful race in the universe. The known universe anyway.”
“What about the unknown universe?” Sally asked.
“I don’t know about the unknown universe. If I did, it wouldn’t be unknown, would it?” Mark explained.
“No, you’re right. Good point. What were we talking about?”
“I said I don’t have much money and when I quit my job IFG will stop paying me and then I’ll have even less. You then told me I am a Friend of the People, but I knew that already.”
“What I was telling you before you interrupted me was that you don’t need money. You can have whatever you want.”
“That’s all very well, but when the bill comes up, I won’t get away with saying I don’t need to pay, I’m a Friend of the People.”
Sally sighed. “Do you know, for a while you had me convinced that you were intelligent. How do you think the tourist pay for things?”
“I hadn’t thought about that. Actually, how do they even get to Earth? They can’t travel faster than light and Earth doesn’t have its own wormhole.”
”There is a wormhole, it’s in the Kuiper Belt. I don’t know who put it there, but it will have to be removed at some point before Earth technology can detect it.”
“Surely It can be seen by one of the space telescopes? The Chinese have got a really good one on their Tiangong space station.”
“It’s too small to be seen from Earth. It’s oriented to be sideways on to Earth, so the only things that would be in sight of a telescope are the stabiliser nodes, and they are only a few metres across. It causes gravitational perturbations though, that’s why your astronomers think there’s a ninth planet out there somewhere.” Sally said with a smile. “They’ll be surprised when it vanishes suddenly.”
“So no more tourists then?”
“I expect some of the People will still run tourists out there. As long as there is a demand, someone will do it.”
“Are you telling me that the People will be run tourist buses out to Earth? You’re kidding me. Aren’t you?”
“No, why shouldn’t they? All the People who have ships seem to have bloody great big ones and most of them have nothing better to do. Anyway, it’s good PR for them.”
Mark shook his head. “The galaxy doesn’t run anything like the way I thought it might. But you were explaining about tourists and money?”
“Yes. There are some small things that are highly valued on Earth that have no real value in post emergent civilisations. There are people whose hobby is taking those to Earth, selling them on the black market for cash and then giving the cash to tourists. Some tourists like to do it themselves, all part of the experience of being in a pre-emergent culture.”
“What sort of things do they sell?” Mark asked, intrigued by the idea.
“Gold and diamonds mostly. There are tonnes of gold in any solar system and it’s simple enough to synthesise diamonds.”
“So I can just take gold or diamonds with me, sell them and have plenty of money!”
“You could, but you’re not a natural wheeler-dealer. If you only want a few tens of thousands of pounds, go to a hobbyist. It might seem strange to them, having a human asking them for money, but once you’ve proved that you are a Friend of the People they’ll give you anything you want. They might even set up a bank account for you. If you want more than that, I can give you access to my account, but you’ll have to wait for me to get to Earth. Your banks are old fashioned about that. If you want millions of pounds, or dollars, or Euros, or probably any other currency, ask Alan. I’m sure he’ll have accumulated plenty over the few hundred years he has been there.”
“I won’t want that much. I’ll stay in my crappy flat while I’m there, I can’t see me needing more than a couple of thousand pounds at most.”
“There’s a nice flat above the Chequers. You could stay there. Your AI will take you to a local hobbyist. Work out what you need and ask them for ten times as much, you’ll be surprised how quickly it goes when you have to pay for everything.”
“OK, that sounds good. It would mean that I would have enough to rent the flat above the Chequers if it’s empty. My flat is a bit, horrible.”
“You don’t need to rent the flat and it had better be empty. It’s mine. Just ask Roger for the keys - you’ve met Roger, he’s the barman. I’ll send him a note.”
“You lease the flat?” Mark asked.
“No, I own the Chequers. It was closing down when I arrived on Earth and up for sale, so I bought it.”
“That explains a lot.” Mark said, remembering how everyone seemed to know Sally in the Chequers, and why she didn’t have to pay for her drinks.
“Is Roger a tourist?”
“No.” Sally laughed. “He’s human but probably the best paid barman on the planet. Most of the customers are tourists though.”
“That explains even more.” Mark said, remembering how friendly and happy everyone had been.
“So, when are you getting your own ship?” Sally asked him.
“I don’t know. Last time I asked Alan he said I wasn’t ready yet.”
“Mark, just tell him you’re ready for a ship of your own now and tell him what you want.” Sally said, with exasperation in her voice.
“But I don’t know what I want yet.”
“You don’t need one as big as Alan’s, so, h
ow about twenty-five kilometres across and assuming it has the same ratio of height to diameter, that will be about two kilometres high. If it’s as self-sufficient as Alan’s ship and made of the same stuff, you can configure it internally however you want. There, that’s settled.”
“I wasn’t thinking of anything that big. What would I do with all that space?”
“Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. My command ship is nine hundred metres long and one hundred and seventy metres wide at the midpoint and that seemed huge when I got it, but it feels really cramped now.“
“OK. I’ll see him when we finish eating.”
Sally and Mark chatted to the others as they finished their meal. Simon was going to join the rapid reaction force that had been formed to quell the frequent outbreaks of violence that occurred in breach of the uneasy ceasefire. He was happy to be back in action. At his own request, Orange was joining the Ant team that were trying to negotiate the surrender of Tk'ng Dach Rrn troops. Mike was talking about them visiting old friends, which Mark was happy to do. She was also talking about visiting old enemies to settle scores, which Mark wouldn’t do.
As they were finishing up, Simon leant over to Mark and said quietly, “Can we have a word, in private?”
“Yes, sure.” Mark said. “As soon as we’re all finished, we’ll go somewhere.”
Orange stood up, picked up his backpack, and announced he was leaving. “I’ll get on the next lander. I’ll see you down there Simon. Mike, it’s the last time I’ll see you for a while. Look after Mark. He needs it. Mark, look after Mike, try to make sure she doesn’t get you in too much trouble. Sally, I’ll be back here to report to you in ten hours.”
Simon caught Mark’s eye. “I need Simon to show me something. We’ll be on the firing range for a while.” Mark announced. They both stood up and blinked to the firing range on Mother. It was dimly lit and the vast area was empty. They walked over to one of the mounds used to provide cover during training exercises and sat down
“You OK?” Mark asked Simon.
“Oh yeah, can’t wait to get back into action!” Simon grinned. Then his face got serious again. “Mark, you probably know about my, er, my problem.”
Unwilling From Earth Page 44