by Kim Faulks
The constant beep was my music. This was my space.
Hour after hour I set to work under the hood, thawing the vials before I returned to the bitter cold of the liquid nitrogen for more. I worked until I lost track of time, thawing Dragon, wolf, and then bear cells.
Hunger and thirst came and went, and each strand was more important than the last. Hellhound was added into the trials and I set to work again.
Each painstaking process took more and more effort. Numbers blurred under my fingers. I rubbed my watery eyes and tried to focus.
Laughter in the breakroom dragged my gaze from the microscope. Time stood still under the microscope, but out there, life carried on, nurses went home to families, others started their shifts. But there was no shift change in here…there was only success and failure.
And failure was never ending…
The screen blurred as my stomach howled. Pain flared in the small of my back, settling deep into a gnawing ache in my thighs. I stretched, twisted in the seat, and found no relief.
Desperation spread like a goddamn disease, leaving me numb and helpless. I shoved from the chair and stumbled, finding my feet as I stretched my gait. I paced the floor toward the cryoroom, grabbed a bottle of water, and then returned.
The machine beeped and sent the first lot of data to my hard drive. I clenched my fist, working blood into my hands and stabbed the keys. The screen came to life, as the genome swallowed the strand.
“Please work, just this once…just this once.”
The target broke and Thorn’s DNA merged and recombined. I was one DNA strand from saving her—just one miracle. I drained the bottle and watched the magic unfold.
Please God…just one…I’ll do anything.
Time turned cruel, ticking slowly while the computer froze and waited for more data. I slid folded arms along the desk and lowered my head in the crook. The gnawing ache in my lower back turned savage, sending a stab of pain along my spine before easing. Voices echoed from the nurses’ station—shift change…again.
How many was that now? Two…three? Twelve hour shifts, that made it twenty-four…or thirty-six? A yawn swallowed the thought. If I could…just one more…
The train of thought slipped away to darkness—sleep called. But it wasn’t the dark salvation I craved. It was a cruel empty feel of loss.
I’ve failed. I’ve lost her.
I’ve lost everything.
My fingers brushed something cold. The tiny tinker of rolling glass wrenched me awake. The vial teetered on the edge of the desk, caught by the red stopper, and then fell.
No!
I shoved my hands out and fell from the chair. My nails skimmed the plastic end, before it hit the hard ground with a crack. The crimson vial solution seeped free, spilling out of the plastic and onto the floor.
Like blood.
Just like the soldier…
I closed my eyes to the image, still he demanded to be seen. Red and green filled my world.
Don’t stop…
The Vampire’s voice filled my head. My fingers shook as I lifted my hand. I couldn’t save that young kid. I couldn’t do a damn thing…not a damn fucking thing.
And now…the rivulet of liquid inched its way forward. Now I had one less vial to test. Something splashed the floor at my leg. I tried to focus and a drop hit my slacks, sticking the fabric to my skin.
I skimmed my cheek and found the wet trail. Goddamn vial…Goddamn everything. That perfect tuft of razored hair came back to me—so achingly beautiful and deadly. I’d give anything to feel the sting, anything to touch her scales and hear her call.
Where was my girl? Was she somewhere cold, somewhere dark? Was she hurt, bleeding? Was she crying for me, was she screaming, and I couldn’t hear her?
I couldn’t find her.
My fingers danced across the cold floor. I stared at that red seeping solution until my vision blurred. She wasn’t my daughter…she wasn’t my blood.
But did that mean I couldn’t love her?
Did that mean I wouldn’t give my life for her?
Did that mean that this fucking ache in my chest would somehow leave me be?
Did you think it was by chance you were drawn into this, Doctor?
The Huntress has plans for you…now get to work.
They used me. They tried to kill me.
But they failed.
Now they want to use me again. They want me to create—they want me to destroy.
I grabbed the vial from the floor and shoved myself to stand. Bright lights spun all around me, and for a second the room seemed to darken and sway.
I held onto the light, spearing it with savage claws. I wouldn’t faint, not here, not now. I wouldn’t let them win. They had my Dragon. And I wanted her back.
I shoved my palm against the floor and climbed to my knees. Fragments of the vial’s fluid lingered in the bottom.
It was enough. It had to be. I scooped what was left inside the rim and gripped my desk, using the leverage to climb to my feet. The whir of a buffing machine slipped in from the hallway as I clawed my seat underneath my ass and stared at the vial.
I grasped the culture media and set to work, finding the traces in the bottom of the vial. The work blurred as I thawed and split. My sight narrowed to the crisp magnified view on my screen.
I worked until my hands shook and my legs grew numb, then I stumbled for the staff lounge. The gurgle of the urn faded to the background. I snatched the biggest cup I could find and heaped two spoons of coffee inside. I poured a splash of milk, and then filled my cup to the brim before I stumbled to my desk.
Desperation shook my hand spilling the hot liquid over my fingers. I sat and focused on the work in front of me until time slipped away.
I grasped my cup and jerked my fingers from the handle. Ice cold, just like a Vampire. The brown liquid swam under the blur as I grasped the handle once more and raised the rim to my lips. The cold coffee curled in my mouth. The milk had turned fatty sitting in a skin on the top.
Outside the hum of the buffing machine came once more, or was it still running? I leaned across the desk to peer at the time. The numbers blurred into one. I dragged my leaden hand to my eyes and rubbed. “It’s not enough time. There’s just not enough.”
The voices in my head wouldn’t answer. Sleep seeped to slip through my grasp. I stared at the vial in my hand. What was I working on?
Something important.
Tears blurred the monitor. I needed to remember.
I needed to find a way to understand…to break the code. “Yes, that’s it.” I nodded, clutching the need to understand. “For her. Break the code for her.”
“Angel, what are you doing?”
I raised my head and stared into a familiar face—yet his name escaped me. Aaron…Leo…Leon…Leon. If I told him he’d understand. I needed him to understand. “The doctor’s been here, said the blood’s no good. If the blood’s no good, then the Dragon’s no good.”
“What the Hell are you talking about?” Leon gripped my arms and leaned close.
I tried to shake free. Didn’t he see the mess on the floor? “The blood, don’t you see it? It’s everywhere…bad blood…bad blood.”
His fingers dug, finding tender flesh and hard bone. “Stop, Angel, look at me.”
I wrenched my gaze high and found his stare.
“Jesus Christ you look like Hell. Have you eaten? Have you slept?”
I tried to think, tried to piece together the moments since I walked into the lab. “I…I can’t remember.”
“You can’t remember?” He turned and scanned the cramped desks and scattered pages. “Do you know how long it’s been since I left? Almost three days, Angel. You’ve been in here for almost three days. You've just had surgery, just been through a…a…” He raked his hand through slick hair. “You need to stop this, you're killing yourself. Sleep, okay? Just sleep and then I’ll help you with whatever the fuck you’re doing here.”
He blurred under t
he shake of my head. The tears came from nowhere, sliding down my cheek and over my lips tasting like failure. “I can’t. Don’t you see? I’m the only one…the only one.”
His sharp gaze narrowed as he tightened his hold. “The only one to what? Say it. The only one to what?”
My answer was a hiss. “Save her. The only one to save her.”
15
Michael
“You want me to come home?”
I stared into Alpha’s empty fridge and waited for Victor to answer. There was a pause, long enough for me to drag the phone from my ear and stare at the screen.
“No…it’s…ah, not good here, best stay where you are.” My brother lowered his voice, muffled words echoed through the phone. “How is she…the Doc.”
It was the first time he'd asked—the first time any of them had asked.
“She’s taking things hard.”
“I’m sorry, brother,” said Victor. “She…she didn’t deserve any of this.”
I swallowed the truth of his words, reached for my pocket, and pulled the ancient letter free. The doc had made mistakes, just as we’d all made mistakes—the only difference was she’d almost paid with her own life.
“Zadoc, have you heard…” I shoved the refrigerator closed. “Is he…”
“He’s home, but he refuses to leave Joslyn’s side. He won’t talk to Marcus, won’t see any of us. Most of the wolves have left and taken camp farther up the mountain. Listening to Joslyn’s pain is hard on all of us, especially when we can’t do a damn thing. We’d hoped when the wolf took her breast she’d focus on him, but that hasn’t happened—so she cries, and screams and hates, brother—God how she hates.”
I’d seen both Joslyn’s wrath, and the destruction it left behind. I didn’t blame the wolves at all for leaving the house, but they’d return, just as we all did. “Have you heard from North, or the others?”
“They’ve run into some resistance with one of the wolf superpacks, but everyone’s fine. Everyone’s safe,” he murmured. “All this hate. All this hurt. God, Michael, does it ever end?”
I turned to stare down the empty hall. Right now, it felt like the entire world was at war. “I wish I knew. All we can do is protect who we can and pray the world forgets we exist.”
“So we go back to hiding, back to not feeling, back to being on our own.”
“You have Odessa now, Victor. Marcus has Abrial, and Evander has Gunny. You’ll never be alone, not like you were.”
“So tell me brother, why does it feel like the cruelest battle has already started, the one we don’t get to fight—the one where you’ve already decided who lost and who won? You’ve got a beef with Marcus, and God knows he’s done plenty to earn it. But you have to give him the opportunity to clear the air. Stop running away from us, brother. Stop chasing a war you’ll never win. Stop adding fuel to this goddamn blaze, ’cause we’re losing here, if you haven’t already noticed. We’re losing Zadoc, and Joslyn, we’re losing the Wretched’s baby, and we’re losing you…and there’s not a damn thing we can do about it.”
I closed my eyes. He was hurting; we were all hurting. My words were husky and raw. “You don't understand.”
“Then help me understand. Tell me what’s got you so worked up.”
I clenched my fist and shook my head as the call turned silent. “You don’t want to know, Victor. I—”
“Don’t tell me what I don’t want—”
The words spewed from my mouth like lava. “Marcus knew. He’s known all along. He knew the Huntress was coming. He knew about the women. Hell, he could’ve known she was going to come after us, and he did nothing, Victor. He did nothing.”
His silence was a gunshot to the chest.
“I don't believe it.” Lifeless words filled my ears. “No, not Marcus. There has to be a mistake.”
I knew his pain. I’d thought the same thing myself. “There’s no mistake. He knew, Victor. I found the letter the night Alpha called. I didn’t want Xael to wake and I wasn’t there. So I went to leave her a note and found it. It’s dated fifteen-fifteen, brother. Fifteen-fifteen. Tell me now how our brother couldn’t have known.”
My knuckles popped under the strain. I hated myself, hated the way I was so damn eager to share this fucking burden. I hated the corner I was backed into—this dark, lonely fucking corner where I’d just dragged Victor.
“You can’t say anything. Not now. Not while…”
I forced the words through gritted teeth. “I know. Why do you think I’m here?”
The heavy sound of a breath hissed through the phone. “God, Michael. If he knew, if he even thought…” He swallowed the last of his sentence. “Who was it from?”
“I don’t know. Awaiting your response, is all that’s written. But there’s a seal.”
“Describe it.”
I stared at the crinkled envelope. What’d been aged and neat was now a damn mess, broken pieces fell free as I lifted the yellowed paper and stared. “It’s old, faded, but there's a crown and swords.”
“Crown and swords? It could be from anyone. Keep it to yourself, Michael, for now.”
“And if we never get the child back, what then?”
A dark, feral snarl savaged the line. “Then we bury the fucking thing and we forget it ever existed. What’s more important, Michael, family or truth?”
And suddenly that dark, lonely corner had a name. One wall was family, the other truth and I stood at the edge of them both.
I ended the call and couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t do a damn thing but replay Victor’s words over and over in my head. What’s more important, Michael, family or truth?
I had a choice, let my family destroy the truth, or let truth destroy my family.
But this wasn’t a battle. This wasn’t war.
This was only the death of us all.
I snatched the keys from the rack and made for the backdoor. I’d mapped the last two days by the shift changes at Angel Home, watching in the shadows, waiting for the Vampire to show his face, and there’d been nothing.
Nothing but endless time for me to think, and think, and think.
The doc was hiding something. She clutched the fragile secret like the damn shattered cup, and it had everything to do with the fetid stench of ancient blood that lingered outside her door.
I forced my strides to lengthen and headed for my Jeep in Alpha’s driveway. I’d wait and watch. I’d be her shield, even if she didn’t know I was there.
I hit the button on the remote and yanked open the driver’s door. This routine had become a habit, pining for her like some lovesick pup. I had no right to stake a claim.
But I do, the Saint warned. I saved her…so she’s mine.
“You’re not a fucking caveman and she isn’t a Neanderthal. She can make up her own damn mind.”
His chuckle slipped through the cracks, rubbing my last damn nerve.
She hasn’t come to you. She hasn’t seen you since we…since I made love to her.
A nerve twitched at the corner of my eye. I wrenched my head up and stared at my own reflection. “She’s been busy.”
But there was no more snarky laughter—only cold silence, before my Dragon spoke again. You’re losing her, just like you're losing your family. Make the choice, Michael.
Family, or truth.
I stabbed the key into the ignition and started the engine as the answer welled in my gut. My Dragon, the Saint, was pure and true. He believed in honesty, he believed in righteousness, and his power was the power of the just. I hadn’t seen it before. I hadn’t seen why this battle affected me.
Suddenly this didn't become a battle between brothers.
But a battle between me and my Dragon.
The answer resounded with a guttural snarl. Now you finally get it. Now you see the real stakes here. Choose wisely, Michael, or you might lose me forever.
I shoved the Jeep into gear and reversed out of the drive. My stomach sank as I slowed the car
and stopped in the middle of the road.
Family…truth…the Saint…the doc…
If I sided with one, then the other was lost.
I’m sorry, brother. She…she didn’t deserve any of this, Victor’s words resounded in my head. Doc had been an outsider from the first moment we found her alive. I felt a darker resonance in my soul, a kinship we now shared.
I eased the car into first and nosed toward the road. I’d not let her down. Not like the others, and the first damn step was keeping her safe.
I leaned forward and stared up at a bruised sky as I headed for the other side of the city. My Dragon hit a damn nerve, it was three nights since I’d seen the doc. Three nights since I’d kissed her. Was she avoiding me?
Was she avoiding us?
The answer stuck like a lump in my throat.
Streets blurred as I thought about the answer. Did it change the outcome?
No.
I’d still sit outside her door, for it was the right thing to do.
It was the honest thing to do—more importantly wild fucking horses couldn’t drag me away. I turned the car onto her street and pulled over to the side. A row of hedges shoulder high obstructed the view, but this was a perfect place to park and a perfect place to hide. A perfect place to stand in the darkness and wonder what the Hell she was keeping from me.
I hunkered down in the seat and stretched out my legs.
She was in there somewhere, working, sleeping. All I had to do was send a flare of light to find her. Like called to like, and right now she had part of the Saint wrapped around her heart.
“I’m right here, Doc. Whenever you're ready.” I stifled a yawn and closed my eyes. “I got all the time in the world.”
I dozed and waited. Darkness came without so much as a whimper. The sharp glare of headlights splashed inside the cabin to drag me awake. I blinked and stared at the night as a car turned into the parking lot and parked.
I knew the nurses now, knew their cars, knew the shifts they worked. Whether their husbands dropped them off, or if they turned up late, flustered, swearing at the piece of shit car they drove—the only thing I didn’t know was their names.