by Tracy Wolff
Her eyes shifted away and focused on the posh living space while she tried to process all he was saying.
Her mother’s words of warning from years ago echoed in Catalina’s mind. How could she fall for this man with his smooth words and irresistible charm? Hadn’t her mother done the same thing with Patrick?
No. Will wasn’t Patrick and Catalina was not her mother.
To her knowledge, Will, even to this day, had absolutely no idea what had transpired when he’d been a young boy right around the time of his mother’s death. That hollow pit in Catalina’s stomach deepened. Had the affair been the catalyst in Mrs. Rowling’s death?
“Why now?” she asked, turning back to face him. “Why should I let you in now after all this time? Is it because I’m convenient? Because I’m still single or because you’re settling?”
Why was fate dangling this right in front of her face when she’d finally decided to move on? It had taken her years to get up the nerve to really move forward with her dream and now that she’d decided to take a chance, Will wanted back in?
“Trust me, you’re anything but convenient,” he laughed. “I’ve busted my butt trying to think of ways to get your attention.”
Catalina swallowed. “But why?”
“Because you want this just as much as I do,” he whispered.
Catalina stared down at her hands clasped in her lap. “We’re at the age now that our wants don’t always matter.” Letting her attention drift back up, she locked her eyes on him. “We both have different goals, Will. In the end, nothing has really changed.”
“On that we can agree.” Will came to his feet, crossed to her side of the table and loomed over her. His hands came to rest on the back of her chair on either side of her shoulders. “In the end, I’ll still want you and you’ll still want me. The rest can be figured out later.”
Before she could say anything, he’d scooped her up in his arms. “Don’t say a word,” he chided. “I want to carry you, so just let me. Enjoy this moment, that’s all I’m asking. Don’t think about who we are away from here. Let me care for you the way you deserve.”
His warm breath washed over her face as she stared back at him. He didn’t move, he just waited for her reply.
What could she say? He was right. They both wanted each other, but was that all this boiled down to? There were so many other outside factors driving a wedge between them. Did she honestly believe that just because he said so things would be different?
Catalina stared into those eyes and for once she saw hope; she saw a need that had nothing to do with sex.
Resting her head on his shoulder, Catalina whispered, “One of us is going to get hurt.”
Fourteen
Catalina leaned back against Will’s chest as they settled onto the oversized plush sofa on the top deck. The full moon provided enough light and just the perfect ambiance; even Will couldn’t have planned it better.
Granted he didn’t like that the yacht was damaged or that Catalina had been injured, but the feel of her wrapped in his arms, their legs intertwined, even as he was careful of her ankle, was everything he’d wanted since he let her walk away so long ago.
Will laced his hands over her stomach and smiled when she laid her hands atop his.
“It’s so quiet and peaceful,” she murmured. “The stars are so vibrant here. I guess I never pay much attention in Alma.”
“One of these days you’re going to have your own maid, your own staff,” he stated firmly. “You deserve to be pampered for all the hours you work without asking for anything in return. You work too hard.”
“I do,” she agreed. “I have so many things I want to do with my life and working is what keeps me motivated.”
A strand of her hair danced in the breeze, tickling his cheek, but he didn’t mind. Any way he could touch her and be closer was fine with him. She wasn’t trying to ignore this pull and she’d actually relaxed fully against him. This is what they needed. The simplicity, the privacy.
“What are your goals, Cat?”
“I’d love a family someday.”
The wistfulness in her tone had him wanting to fulfill those wishes. Will knew he’d never be able to sit back and watch her be with someone else, make a life and a family with another man.
“What else?” he urged. “I want to know all of your dreams.”
She stiffened in his arms. Will stroked her fingers with his, wanting to keep her relaxed, keep her locked into this euphoric moment.
“It’s just me, Cat.” He purposely softened his tone. “Once upon a time we shared everything with each other.”
“We did. I’m just more cautious now.”
Because of him. He knew he’d damaged that innocence in her, he knew full well that she was a totally different woman because of his selfish actions. And that fact was something he’d have to live with for the rest of his life. All he could do was try to make things better now and move forward.
“I shouldn’t have let you go,” he muttered before he could think.
“Everything happens for a reason.”
Will didn’t miss the hint of pain in her tone. “Maybe so, but I should’ve fought for you, for us.”
“Family has always been your top priority, Will. You’ve been that way since your mother passed. You threw yourself into pleasing your father and James ran wild. Everyone grieves differently and it’s affected your relationships over the years.”
Will shouldn’t have been surprised that she’d analyzed him and his brother so well. Cat had always been so in tune with other people’s feelings. Had he ever done that for her? Had he ever thought of her feelings if they didn’t coincide with his own wants and needs?
“I never wanted you hurt.” Yet he’d killed her spirit anyway. “I have no excuse for what I did. Nothing I say can reverse time or knock sense into the man I was four years ago.”
“Everything that happened made me a better person.” She shifted a bit and lifted her ankle to resettle it over the edge of the sofa. “I poured myself into new things, found out who I really am on my own. I never would’ve done that had I been with you.”
Will squeezed her tighter. “I wouldn’t have let you lose yourself, Cat. Had you been with me I would’ve pushed you to do whatever you wanted.”
She tipped her head back and met his gaze. “You wouldn’t have let me work. You would’ve wanted the perfect, doting wife.”
There was a ring of truth to her words. He most likely would have tried to push her into doing what he thought was best.
“I wasn’t good to you.” He swallowed. “You were better off without me, but it killed me to let you go, knowing you’d be fine once you moved on.”
Silence settled heavily around them before she finally said, “I wasn’t fine.”
“You were dating a man two months after we broke up.”
Cat turned back around, facing the water. “I needed to date, I needed to move on in any way that I could and try to forget you. When I was alone my mind would wander and I’d start to remember how happy I was with you. I needed to fill that void in any way I possibly could.”
Will swallowed. He’d hated seeing her with another man, hated knowing he was the one who drove her into another’s arms.
“I slept with him.”
Her words cut through the darkness and straight to his heart. “I don’t want—”
“I slept with him because I was trying to forget you,” she went on as if he hadn’t said a word. “I was ready to give myself to you, then you chose to obey your father once again at my expense. When I started dating Bryce, I mistook his affection for love. I knew I was on the rebound, but I wanted so badly to be with someone who valued me, who wanted to be with me and put me first.”
Those raw, heartfelt words crippled him. He’d had
no idea just how much damage he’d caused. All this time, she’d been searching for anyone to put her at the top of their priority list when he’d shoved her to the bottom of his.
“Afterward I cried,” she whispered. “I hated that I’d given away something so precious and I hated even more that I still wished I’d given it to you.”
Her honesty gutted him. Will wished more than anything he could go back and make changes, wished he could go back and be the man she needed him to be.
But he could be honest now, he could open up. She’d shared such a deep, personal secret, he knew she deserved to know why he’d let her go so easily.
“I had to let you go.”
“I know, your father—”
“No.” Will adjusted himself in the seat so he could face her better. “I need you to know this, I need you to listen to what I’m saying. I let you go because of my father, but not for the reasons you think.”
The moon cast enough of a glow for Will to see Cat’s dark eyes widen. “What?”
“I let you go to save you. My father’s threats...” Will shook his head, still angry over the way he’d let his father manipulate him. “As soon as I let you go, I was plotting to get you back, to put my father in his place. I didn’t care how long it took, didn’t care what I had to do.”
Cat stared back at him, and he desperately wanted to know what was swirling around in her head. There was so much hurt between them, so many questions and years of resentment. Will hated his father for putting him in this position, but he hated even more the way Cat had been the victim in all of this.
“Your father threatened me, didn’t he?” Cat asked, her voice low, yet firm. “He held me over your head? Is that why you let me go?”
Swallowing the lump of guilt, Will nodded.
Cat sat up, swung her feet over the side and braced her hands on either side of her hips. Will lifted his leg out of her way and brought his knee up to give her enough room to sit. He waited while she stared down at the deck. Silence and moonlight surrounded them, bathing them in a peace that he knew neither of them felt.
“Talk to me.” He couldn’t handle the uncertainty. “I don’t want you going through this alone.”
A soft laugh escaped her as she kept her gaze averted. “But you didn’t care that I went through this alone four years ago.”
“Dammit, Cat. I couldn’t let you get hurt. He had the ability to ruin you and I wasn’t going to put my needs ahead of yours.”
When she threw him a glance over her shoulder, Will’s gut tightened at the moisture gathered in her eyes. “You didn’t put my needs first at all. You didn’t give me a chance to fight for us and you took the easy way out.”
Raking a hand over his hair, Will blew out a breath. “I didn’t take the easy way,” he retorted. “I took the hardest way straight through hell to keep you safe and to work on getting you back.”
She continued to stare, saying nothing. Moments later her eyes widened. “Wait,” she whispered. “How did Bella come into play?”
“You know I never would’ve married her. That was all a farce to begin with.” Will shifted closer, reaching out to smooth her hair back behind her ear. “And once I kissed you, I knew exactly who I wanted, who I needed.”
Cat started to stand, winced and sat back down. Will said nothing as he pushed his leg around her, once again straddling her from behind. He pulled her back against his chest and leaned on the plush cushions. Even though she remained rigid, he knew the only way to get her to soften was for him to be patient. He’d waited four years; he was the epitome of patient.
Wrapping his arms around her, he whispered in her ear. “I messed up,” he admitted. “I only wanted to protect you and went about it the wrong way. Don’t shut me out now, Cat. We have too much between us. This goes so much deeper than either of us realizes and I won’t let my father continue to ruin what we have.”
Dammit, somewhere along the way to a heated affair Will had developed stronger feelings, a deeper bond with Cat than he’d anticipated. And now that he knew he wanted more from her, he was close to losing it all.
“And what do we have, Will?” Her words came out on a choked sob.
“What do you want?”
* * *
What do you want?
Catalina couldn’t hold in the tension another second. There was only so much one person could handle and Will’s simple question absolutely deflated her. Melting back against his body once more, she swallowed the emotion burning her throat.
“I want...” Catalina shut her eyes, trying to figure out all the thoughts fighting for head space. “I don’t know now. Yesterday I knew exactly what I wanted. I was ready to leave Alma to get it.”
Will’s fingertips slid up and down her bare arms, causing her body to tremble beneath his delicate touch. “And now? What do you want now, Cat?”
Everything.
“I don’t want to make things harder for you,” he went on. “But I’m not backing down. Not this time.”
And there was a portion of her heart that didn’t want him to. How could she be so torn? How could two dreams be pulling her in completely different directions?
Because the harder she’d tried to distance herself from him, the more she was being pulled back in.
“I’m afraid,” she whispered. “I can’t make promises and I’m not ready to accept them from you, either.”
His hands stilled for the briefest of moments before he kissed the top of her head. Catalina turned her cheek to rest against his chest, relishing the warmth of his body, the strong steady heartbeat beneath her. Part of her wanted to hate him for his actions years ago, the other part of her wanted to cry for the injustice of it all.
But a good portion of her wanted to forgive him, to believe him when he said that he’d sacrificed himself to keep her safe. Why did he have to be so damn noble and why hadn’t he told her to begin with? He didn’t have to fight that battle all on his own. Maybe she could have saved him, too.
Catalina closed her eyes as the yacht rocked steadily to the soothing rhythm of the waves. She wanted to lock this moment in time and live here forever. Where there were no outside forces trying to throw obstacles in their way and the raw honesty...
No. She still carried a secret that he didn’t know and how could she ever tell him? How could she ever reveal the fact that his father had had an affair with her mother? Would he hate her for knowing?
“Will, I need—”
“We’re done talking. I just want to hold you. Nothing else matters right now.”
Turning a bit more in his arms, Catalina looked up into those vibrant eyes that had haunted her dreams for years. “Make love to me, Will. I don’t care about anything else. Not when I can be with you.”
In one swift, powerful move, he had her straddling his lap. Catalina hissed a breath when her ankle bumped his thigh.
“Dammit. Sorry, Cat.”
She offered him a smile, stroking the pad of her thumb along the worry lines between his brows. “I’m fine,” she assured him as she slid the ties at the side of her dress free. “I don’t want to think about my injury, why we’re stuck here or what’s waiting for us when we get back. All I want is to feel you against me.”
Will took in the sight of her as she continued to work out of her clothing. When his hands spanned her waist, she arched against his touch.
He leaned forward, resting his forehead against her chest as he whispered, “You’re more than I deserve and everything I’ve ever wanted.”
Framing his face with her hands, Catalina lifted his head until she could look him in the eyes. “No more talking,” she reminded him with a soft kiss to his lips. “No more talking tonight.”
Tomorrow, or whenever they were able to get off this island, she’d tell him about his father. But for now, she’d
take this gift she’d been given and worry about the ugly truth, and how they would handle it, later.
Fifteen
By the second day, Catalina still hadn’t told Will the truth. How could she reveal such a harsh reality when they’d been living in passionate bliss on a beautiful island in some fantasy?
They’d both fiddled with the radio and tried their cell phones from various spots on the island, but nothing was going through. She wasn’t going to panic quite yet. They had plenty of food and for a bit, she could pretend this was a dream vacation with the man she’d fallen in love with.
Will rolled over in bed, wrapping his arm around her and settling against her back. “I’d like to say I can’t wait to get off this island, but waking up with you in my arms is something I could get used to.”
His husky tone filled her ear. The coarse hair on his chest tickled her back, but she didn’t mind. She loved the feel of Will next to her.
“I’m getting pretty spoiled, too.” She snuggled deeper into his embrace. “I’m never going to want to leave.”
“Maybe that’s how I want you to be,” he replied, nipping her shoulder.
“We can’t stay here forever,” she laughed.
“As long as you don’t leave Alma, I’m okay with going back.”
A sliver of reality crept back in. Catalina shifted so that she could roll over in his arms and face him.
“I don’t plan on working as a maid forever,” she informed him, staring into his eyes. “And after what you told me about your father, I think it’s best if I don’t work there anymore. I can’t work for a man who completely altered my future. I stayed with James because I adore him and I moved on to Patrick because I needed the job, but now that I know the full truth, I can’t stay there.”
Will propped himself up on his elbow and peered down at her. “I understand, but stay in Alma. Stay with me.”
“And do what?” she asked, already knowing this conversation was going to divide them. “I have goals, Will. Goals that I can’t ignore simply because we’re... I don’t even know what this is between us right now.”