Kingdom's Dream

by Iris Gower

  ‘People gossip for a few days then go on to talk about someone else,’ Katie said, and sat down. ‘Are you really better, Shanni?’

  ‘My body is, but I don’t think my conscience will ever get over what I’ve done.’

  ‘Give it time.’ Katie felt the words were inadequate but she could find no others.

  ‘Anyway, what else is going on in Swansea, Katie? They say the railway station is almost finished. I suppose there’ll be a great deal of pomp and ceremony when it opens.’

  There was a sudden rap at the door and Shanni frowned. ‘Who’s that, then? It’s not rent day yet. Come in, whoever you are, don’t stand there on the step making a nuisance of yourself.’ There was no reply and Shanni got up with a sigh. She opened the door. ‘Hello, Bull, what brings you here?’

  ‘I would like to see Katie. I saw her coming up here and I followed her. I want to tell her I’ve got a house at last. If that’s all right, Shanni.’

  ‘You’d best come in, then,’ Shanni said reluctantly.

  Katie swallowed hard as Bull came into the room. ‘I wanted to see you, Katie, to explain—’

  ‘Well, that’s too bad because I don’t want to see you. How dare you come here? Just go away.’

  ‘Please listen while I explain how things are. Rhiannon has told me what she said to you but she bent the truth to suit herself.’

  ‘So it’s not true that the poor girl would go back to selling herself for money? Not true that you chose her over me? Oh, Bull, just go. I don’t want to see you ever again. Is that plain enough?’

  Shanni took Bull’s arm. ‘Better go. This isn’t the time or the place to sort your affairs out, Bull.’ She closed the door behind him with a click. ‘Well, that told him a thing or two. Are you happy now?’ There was a hint of reproach in Shanni’s voice.

  ‘Yes, of course I’m happy,’ Katie said defiantly. So why did she feel that her world had turned upside-down?

  The town was thronged with people, cockle-women called out raucously advertising their wares, and dray-horses clip-clopped heavily on the cobbles, fetlocks fringed with hair that lifted in the breeze.

  Llinos breathed in the scents and sounds of the town she loved. Swansea was where she had been born and where she would die. She thought of Joe far away in America with her first-born son Lloyd, and wished briefly that she was with them under the sunny skies of the plains. But then, looking around her, she knew she would never leave Swansea. She was growing too old to travel. She couldn’t bear to make the long, arduous journey by sea and then by bone-rattling cart to the village where Joe had been born.

  ‘Good morning, Llinos.’ The voice came from behind her and she turned to see Jayne alighting from her carriage. The relationship between them was still a little strained: although Llinos had accepted Jayne’s attempt to make amends she was still wary, suspecting that Jayne’s overtures had not been entirely sincere.

  ‘Hello, Jayne. You’re looking well.’ Llinos was being polite for Jayne looked anything but: her cheeks had no colour and her eyes lacked sparkle.

  ‘You’re very kind.’ Jayne kissed her cheek. ‘Llinos, come and join me in the tea-rooms for a little while. I need a friend to talk to. If you can spare the time, that is.’

  ‘Of course I can,’ Llinos said quickly. ‘How is your father?’

  ‘What I want to talk about has nothing to do with him.’ She led the way into the Mackworth Hotel and swept into the tea-rooms as though she owned the place. She was growing up, Llinos thought, and that was only to be expected now that she was a married woman.

  Llinos settled herself into the seat held by the waiter and waited patiently for Jayne to speak. She looked so tired: even her skin looked dull. ‘What’s wrong, Jayne?’ Llinos frowned. ‘In spite of everything I’m very fond of you, you know.’

  ‘Llinos, since I married Dafydd have you ever . . . well, has he made advances to you?’

  Llinos’s eyebrows were raised in surprise. ‘Of course not! I wouldn’t allow it. Once Dafydd married you, made his vows before God, he was lost to me for ever and we both knew it.’

  Jayne waited until the tea had been served before she spoke again. ‘He has been with Shanni Morgan.’

  Llinos was shocked to the core – how on earth did Jayne know that? ‘He did what?’ She was playing for time, not knowing what to say.

  ‘He was intimate with her and she was with child by him. How could he do that, Llinos, and with a girl of the lower orders?’ Her voice was filled with anguish.

  ‘Where did you hear this? You know how people love to gossip for the sake of it, and what they say is not always true.’

  ‘It is true.’ Jayne’s head was bent, her voice low. ‘I heard it from Shanni’s own lips.’

  ‘Why would she tell you that? It doesn’t seem like Shanni to make trouble. I don’t think—’

  ‘I was at Mrs Keen’s house and I overheard them talking. Mrs Keen helped her to get rid of the baby.’ Jayne paused, and swallowed hard. ‘She said it was all Shanni’s fault for lying with a gentleman.’

  ‘Well,’ Llinos spread her hands wide, ‘Dafydd isn’t the only gentleman in the area.’ She hated lying to Jayne, but how could she admit that she already knew the truth?

  ‘I confronted her.’ Jayne was shaking her head as if even now she could not believe what she was saying.

  ‘She admitted it?’

  ‘Yes, Llinos. In fact, she threw it up in my face, taunted me with it.’

  Llinos swallowed hard. Dafydd was a changed man: the lover she had known would never have stooped so low. Would he? He had seduced her without thinking about Joe’s feelings, and had fathered a son on her as if that was of little consequence. She wondered if she had ever really known him at all.

  ‘Well . . . did you talk to Dafydd about it?’

  ‘Of course I did. I told him our marriage was over, except in name. I won’t let him near me again. I’ll never forgive him, never.’

  ‘Did he deny it?’

  ‘He tried to, like the coward he is. And I thought I loved him – it just shows how wrong you can be.’ She sipped her tea, her eyes downcast.

  Llinos felt an overwhelming pity for the girl. She wanted to comfort her but knew that Jayne would hate a public show of affection.

  Jayne lifted her head and looked directly at Llinos with tears in her eyes. ‘I only had one way to get back at him. I told him I had substantial shares in the Great Western Railway. He was so surprised it was insulting.’

  ‘Jayne, I don’t know what to say.’ Llinos felt so angry with Dafydd – how could he have been so foolish as to seduce Shanni? ‘What on earth possessed Shanni to risk her marriage for a sordid encounter with him?’

  Jayne shrugged. ‘All I know is that they betrayed me.’ She looked up at Llinos almost apologetically. ‘I know I hated you for having had Dafydd before me but at least he was free and single then.’ She dabbed her eyes. ‘I’ll never trust another man.’

  Llinos knew exactly how the girl felt. She poured more tea to give herself time to think. She searched for words of comfort, but there were none: Jayne was practically a newly-wed and already her husband had been unfaithful. She decided to change the subject. ‘So you’ve got more shares in the railway, then? That was astute of you, Jayne. They’re going to be like gold dust before long.’

  ‘I know, and I’m going to set my mind on being a good businesswoman. If I can’t be a happy wife then success must be my aim.’

  ‘But, Jayne, your father will leave you his estate one day. You’ll have more money than you can ever spend.’

  ‘That’s not the point, Llinos.’

  ‘Then what is? Showing Dafydd that you can manage very well without him is not going to mend your marriage.’

  ‘Listen to me properly, Llinos. I don’t want to mend it. The marriage is over and done with. I’ll live with him, for the sake of appearances, but my love was wasted on him.’

  ‘Don’t do this to yourself, Jayne. Surely you want children one d
ay. They will be your reason for living – you’ll know that when you hold a baby in your arms.’

  Jayne drained her cup and set it down in the saucer. ‘I don’t think I want to talk any more, Llinos,’ she said quietly. ‘Nothing will change what’s happened, however much we go over it.’ She glanced at Llinos from under her lashes. ‘My husband already has a son – maybe more than one, for all I know.’

  Llinos felt her colour rise. ‘As you pointed out, Jayne, that was before you and Dafydd were married.’

  ‘But you were a married woman, and anyone less honest than you would have passed off the child as her husband’s.’ She rose to her feet. ‘For all I know there could be many little by-blows running around Swansea.’

  ‘There’s no need to be cruel, Jayne. Sion is not just a by-blow, and I don’t think Dafydd sees him like that either. For what it’s worth, I think this thing with Shanni was a silly mistake. He won’t do it again.’

  ‘Llinos, you’re bound to defend him – you probably still love him.’

  ‘No, Jayne, I don’t.’

  ‘Well, that’s good for you, and now I have to go.’

  Rhiannon looked around the hut, pleased that it was as clean and cheerful as she could make it. She had sewn bright new curtains to replace the faded ones and had covered the bed with the same fabric, which made the hut look more like a home. From the blackened pot over the fire came an appetizing aroma, and a loaf of fresh bread was already cut in slices, awaiting Bull’s return. If he did return.

  Since he had told her to find a new man and a new home, Rhiannon had kept her jealousy to herself. She had not mentioned Katie Cullen again, and neither had Bull. Rhiannon hoped it was all over, a moment of madness, because what would a strictly brought-up girl like Katie want with a man who worked the railway?

  A figure loomed in the open doorway and Rhiannon looked up expectantly. She was disappointed. ‘Oh, it’s you, Seth, what do you want?’

  He came into the room, smiling broadly. ‘I hear it’s over between you and Bull.’ He slid his arm around her waist. ‘Well, I’ll be happy to take you on, girl. No need for you to go scraping about for a man.’

  ‘What are you on about, Seth? You’re talking in riddles.’

  ‘No, I’m not. You and Bull are finished. He’s courting Katie Cullen – it’s being talked about all around the camp. So come on, I’ll take you in and you won’t have to go whoring like you was before.’

  Rhiannon pushed him away angrily. ‘You’re wrong there, Seth. I’m not leaving Bull for anyone. I’m his woman and he’ll break the neck of any man that says different.’

  ‘But haven’t you heard, girl? He’s getting his house today. Some nice little place in Waterloo Street.’

  The colour drained from Rhiannon’s face. ‘Who told you this?’ she asked slowly, as if afraid of the answer.

  ‘Bull told us all yesterday, same time as he said he’d still be watching us to see we did our work properly like he did when he was foreman.’

  ‘When’s he getting this house?’

  Seth had his arm around her again. ‘Today, like I said.’

  ‘I don’t believe you. I can’t see Bull leaving me without a word of explanation. Look, all his things are still here, his boots, his moleskin trousers and . . .’ She stopped as it dawned on her that the clothes Bull had left behind were working clothes, and if he was manager he would no longer need them. ‘I can’t believe it,’ she said. ‘Seth, go and leave me to think, will you?’

  ‘All right, love, but remember I made an offer for you first.’ He grinned. ‘Your worth has gone up since you was Bull Beynon’s woman, and any man in the camp would give you a bed, but as I said, I was the first to ask so remember that.’

  He left the hut, and Rhiannon collapsed onto the floor. ‘Oh, God in heaven, it can’t be true! Bull wouldn’t leave me like this.’ The tears flowed down her cheeks. ‘Bull, my love, my darling, don’t leave me!’

  After a while, she got up and, with an effort, lifted the cooking pot from the fire. Then she washed her face in the water brought freshly from the Baptist Well spring, and combed her hair into some sort of order.

  She would go to Waterloo Street and find out if Seth was telling the truth. It was just possible he’d been trying it on with her – after a bit of free loving from a woman he knew only too well.

  Rhiannon winced as she thought back to the days when she had plied her trade as a wanton. Then she had accepted any of the navvies who would pay for her services. It was not something she liked to remember, and whatever Bull decided, she would not go back to the old life. She would rather starve.

  A gentle breeze was blowing along the track, and from somewhere out of sight Rhiannon could hear the distant sound of a pickaxe against unyielding rock. Perhaps this was the end of her life as a navvy’s woman. One thing was certain: she could never live at the side of the railway line and see Bull at work all day if he was living with Katie Cullen.

  It did not take Rhiannon long to walk along the high street and through the town towards Waterloo Street, which looked a friendly, ordinary place. The doors of most of the houses were open and smoke issued from the chimney-stacks. It was quiet for hardly a soul was about, and it had an air of respectability that made Rhiannon realize how hopeless it was for her to expect to live there with Bull Beynon.

  Greatly daring she knocked at one of the open doors. She heard shuffling footsteps and an old woman came into view.

  ‘What d’yer want? Not selling pegs or cockles, are you, girl? I don’t want to buy anything, I can’t afford it. I’m just an old woman, as you can see.’

  ‘I’m not selling anything.’ Rhiannon forced a smile. ‘I just wanted to know if someone has moved into Waterloo Street today or even yesterday.’

  The old woman wrapped her shawl more closely around her thin shoulders. ‘I ‘spects you are talking about Mr Beynon. He’s some kind of manager or other, is that it?’

  ‘Which one is his house, can you tell me?’ Rhiannon asked eagerly.

  ‘He’s moving into number five, just along the end of the road there. He’s not about now, though. I saw him go out some time back. Gone down the Castle, I suppose, that’s where all the railwaymen meet.’

  Rhiannon moved away, aware that the old woman was watching her. She strolled past number five but there was no light in the window and no smoke rising from the chimney. He had not moved in yet.

  Would he persuade Katie to live with him, now that he had a fine house? But Katie was the type to wait for a wedding ring on her finger.

  ‘Chin up, girl,’ Rhiannon said aloud. It was pointless to feel sorry for herself: whatever Bull decided there was nothing she could do about it.

  She turned for home. Perhaps he was there . . . and perhaps he would keep her as his mistress when he moved into the house in Waterloo Street. Rhiannon would be content with whatever part of Bull he decided to give her.

  Her steps quickened. Perhaps, after all, the future was not as bleak as she had imagined.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  The spring sunshine was bringing out bright blossom on the trees. The air blowing in from the sea was balmy, and Katie walked along the beach with her boots in her hands, bare feet digging into the sand, wishing Bull was with her.

  She sat down on a flat rock and stared out at the deceptively calm waves of Swansea Bay. Across the water she could see the hills of Devon in bright relief, a sure sign of rain. Within an hour the weather would be stormy, like her feelings. She remembered how Rhiannon had begged her not to take Bull away from her, and how, her heart broken, Katie had walked away. She looked out across the sands, stretching for five miles around the curve of the bay, half expecting Bull to come riding along on a white charger to sweep her off her feet. But the beach was deserted except for the plaintive cry of seagulls on the still air.

  Katie wiped her eyes on her petticoat and went back towards the road. She leaned against the wall to pull on her boots, the sand gritty between her toes.

>   ‘So there you are, Katie Cullen. You’ve got him now, haven’t you?’

  The voice startled her. ‘Rhiannon! What are you doing here, and what do you mean I’ve got him?’

  ‘What I’m doing here is my business, but Bull’s left me. Don’t pretend you don’t know,’ Rhiannon said bluntly. ‘He’s taken all his stuff up to the house the engineer found for him.’ She began to cry. ‘I asked you to leave him alone, didn’t I? Bull was the only man who ever treated me decent, like. How am I going to manage on my own, tell me that, Katie Cullen?’

  ‘The same way as I manage without him.’ Katie was surprised at the hardness in her voice. ‘I don’t depend on any man to keep me.’

  ‘Oh, mind, now, miss.’ Rhiannon brushed away her tears. ‘It’s all so easy for you, isn’t it? Where would I get a job in a good household? Tell me that.’

  ‘The same way most girls do. Go up to one of the big houses and ask. Nothing’s given to you on a plate in this life and it’s time you knew that.’

  ‘Oh, it’s all right for the likes of you,’ Rhiannon said, ‘with your good clothes, your washed face and neatly combed hair. What do you know about living on your wits?’

  ‘You haven’t used your wits very well, though, have you?’ Katie said. ‘I wouldn’t sell my body for food in my belly and clothes on my back, not when there’s plenty of honest work for the taking.’

  ‘So if I go up to Eynon Morton-Edwards and ask him to give me a position he’d take me on, would he?’ Fresh tears rolled down Rhiannon’s face. ‘Within a week I’d be in his bed. He’ll be no different from any of the men I’ve been with, except he has money.’

  ‘Mr Morton-Edwards is a good man!’ Katie protested. ‘He would never take advantage of any girl. He’s always been a perfect gentleman to me.’

  ‘Well, he wouldn’t want a girl like you, would he?’ Rhiannon said spitefully. ‘You’re a Miss Goody Two Shoes. Any man would want me, with my looks and experience.’ She sighed heavily. ‘Who am I trying to fool? I don’t get no respect from men, see, Katie. The only man to show me any feeling at all was my lovely Bull. And now he’s gone, left me, and it’s all your fault. What am I going to do?’