Rowena trudged along the clifftop, her arms around herself as she stared out at the gray clouds. As she did, her certainty that it was some other girl the knight sought began to weaken even further.
Why would a dying man point him to Ashcroft for no reason? Why were there so many uncanny coincidences between Rowena and this girl? But it was not possible. Rowena could not believe she could be Rosalind.
She had nothing but disdain for the nobles and their love of lands and titles.
Even if the impossible should somehow prove possible, she could never accept a place amongst the nobility. Was not Christian asking her to behave in a way she despised, by asking her to expect others to put themselves in harm’s way in order to have her—or rather, Rosalind—restored to her position of lady of Dragonwick? It was wrong, even if, as he said, they would do so gladly.
Realizing the path of her thoughts, Rowena shook her head violently. Nay, the tale Christian Greatham had told her could not be true.
She was not the child of the earl of Kelsey. To even allow herself to imagine that she could be was nothing short of self-delusion. It was only her desperation to know something of her father, of her past, that made her doubt the truth for even a moment.
Rowena had much to lose by allowing herself to believe such nonsense. She had found a place here in Ashcroft, was loved and needed. She would not throw all that away for anything. Even if there was the remotest possibility that she was the daughter of the man Christian had called The Dragon.
Still, if and indeed she was sure she could not be this daughter, who then was she?
For as long as she could recall, Rowena had longed to know just that.
Here in Ashcroft there was no way of finding out who her father was. There was no way to even imagine what he could have been like, for there was no one like him.
As a child, she had imagined him to be somewhat like the village smith, who always spoke to her kindly when they met. But it did not take long for her to realize, even from the little her mother had said, that her father could not have been like the good-natured smith. His life and the world he lived in were so far removed that it might as well be the moon for all that she could accurately picture him or his surroundings.
She and Sean had discussed it many times, neither of them knowing enough to be able to comprehend the life of a knight. Yet her friend’s very presence, his desire to help her, had been a comfort in the lonely times.
With the thought of Sean came the memory of his stormy eyes, his tormented expression. How was she ever to live without his support?
Suddenly a thought entered her mind, a thought so unprecedented and unexpected she could not forestall it.
What would happen if she went away for a time? Surely Sean would have an opportunity to think on his feelings, to realize that he did not care for her in the way he currently imagined. Perhaps they could have a fresh beginning.
She, who had always wondered about her father’s world, could see for herself where she had begun. ’Haps it would help her to accept what her father had done, to forgive, and go on with her life.
The question was, would Christian Greatham agree to such a scheme? Would he be willing to return her here once she had learned what she would?
There was no way of knowing without approaching him.
Did she have the courage to do so? Perhaps she did, for the events of the past hours had shaken her to the core of her being, made her realize that there was much she did not know, and that she was capable of doing something to change that fact.
Rowena found herself turning back to her cottage.
Yet almost instantly she hesitated. The kiss…
How was she to face Christian?
She shook her head. It had meant nothing. She had been in need of comfort; he had tried to comfort her and it had gone awry.
For his part, he had made it quite clear that he had not meant for things to happen as they had. That he had no intention of doing anything of the sort again.
Rowena recalled Sean’s accusation about the knight trying to seduce her. If she was honest, she realized, there was at least a possibility that in some part of his mind Christian might have imagined that kissing her, developing a closeness with her, might aid in convincing her to accompany him to England.
Well, it was not necessary. If she could be assured that he would not attempt to prevent her from returning home, she might indeed go with him.
With a firm tread she walked on.
She found Christian where she had left him. As she entered the cottage, he glanced around from where he was putting wood upon the fire.
Slowly he turned, his expression watchful, and Rowena swallowed hard. Now that the moment to tell him what she was thinking had come, it was more difficult than she had imagined.
Instead she found herself asking, “Can you tell me more of what happened to Rosalind, to The Dragon?”
Christian nodded immediately. “I will tell you what I recall.” He waited until she reseated herself before beginning. “The story started a very long time ago. More than fourteen years, in fact. I was fostered to the earl then. Rosalind was his only child, and he doted upon her and his niece, Isabelle. His wife had died giving birth to little Rosalind.
“The earl’s half brother, a very selfish and greedy man, was jealous, not only of The Dragon’s lands and titles, but of the respect he garnered amongst all those who knew him. Realizing that Prince John, who was acting in King Richard’s place, was of a very similar ilk, the younger Kelsey convinced John that The Dragon had plotted against the king. He gained John’s sanction to take the castle in order to secure it for the crown. In the fighting he murdered the earl and, we thought at the time, four-year-old Rosalind.”
Rowena could not help the slight unease that rolled over her. In spite of her insistence that this could not be her, she whispered, “Murdered. You believe her death was deliberate?”
Christian watched Rowena as she wrapped her arms about herself protectively. He wanted to comfort her, but he had already seen what havoc that could bring.
Finally, with the impulse under control, he said, “Aye. The man we are speaking of is capable of great ill. He cares for nothing so much as his own gain, even to the point of cold-bloodedly murdering a child. It is the very depth of his evil that convinces me that Sir Jack and the nurse would have gone to whatever lengths they must to protect a child from him.”
Christian knew all of this must come as an enormous shock, yet he was frustrated with Rowena’s failure to see that she had a duty to at least find out if she could be Rosalind, which he believed she was. Yet as this went through his mind, he realized that he had not actually given that much thought to how the young woman would react when he found her. He had been bent on finding her and doing everything he could to see Kelsey denounced.
Perhaps Rowena’s denials were in fact a good sign. Did it not bode well that she was not the kind who would leap at the chance to be a great heiress? Wasn’t the fact that she was reluctant to believe even more proof that she was of sound and honorable character? As he would expect the daughter of The Dragon to be.
He spoke softly. “Rowena.”
She looked at him with troubled green eyes, eyes that had the power to tug at his heart. He heard the emotion in his voice as he said, “I want to tell you that I understand how shocked you must be.”
A wry smile curved her lovely mouth. “Nay, I think you do not understand.”
He shrugged. “’Haps you are right. ’Haps it is impossible for anyone to understand what it would be like to learn—”
She interrupted him roughly. “To learn, if it is all to be believed, that what little you had been told about yourself and your life is a lie.”
He sighed. “As I have said, it was no longer possible for you to live in the home of your birth with any safety, nor anywhere that Kelsey might learn of you. As The Dragon’s daughter you would have been heir to your mother’s extensive dower lands, if naught else. Your uncle, w
ho is now the earl, would not have been above seeing you dead to gain them. As he had, in fact, believed he had done when he attacked the keep. The lies would have been a necessity, to devise new identities for you and the nurse. As a child you could not be expected to hide the truth, and at four you were young enough to forget.”
She held his gaze with those green eyes and he saw the anger beneath her pain. “Do you have any notion what it is like to believe you are a bastard, that there is no one anywhere who would welcome you because of it?”
He took a deep breath. “I do not. But one of those I hold most dear in life was born without benefit of marriage, and it has never mattered to me for even one moment.” He knew that what he said could hold little comfort, for it did not change her life, but he did want Rowena to know that her parentage mattered not in the least to him. For even if she was not The Dragon’s daughter, was indeed the illegitimate child of a knight her mother had known, Christian would not look upon her differently.
She watched him closely. “What manner of man was this Dragon, to instill such a loyalty that you would go to these lengths to search out a daughter who might not even exist?”
He felt himself smiling in spite of the pain that still lay in his heart whenever he thought of his former foster father. “A better man than any other I have known. He was not one to go about dropping kind words like rain. There was simply an honesty about him, a strength of character that is rare indeed, and when you did get a compliment from him it was wholehearted and deeply meant. I once saw him bested on the practice field by a man who had come to seek a position as man-at-arms. Most men in The Dragon’s position would feel they had to save face after being knocked to the ground by a green lad who’d only practiced with a wooden sword. The trembling farm boy stood there in complete fright, but The Dragon leaped from the ground, embraced the fellow and offered him a place in his castle guard. He said he would be happy knowing that there was a better fighter than he guarding his family.” Christian shook his head. “He was a man to instill honor, decency and fairness in others, because he lived by them.
“In the end it was his willingness to think the best of others that was his undoing for he knew that his brother was not as honorable.” Christian’s mouth twisted with disdain. “All knew it. The Dragon simply did not imagine that hatred and dishonor could run so deep in his half brother, for it could never do so in his own heart.”
“I see.” She sighed heavily. “Would that such a man were my father.” She squared her slender shoulders. “Yet I cannot allow myself to believe such a thing simply because I would have a father. A name.”
Christian scowled. “I believe he is your father.”
She took a deep breath, her gaze searching his face. “You truly do believe this?”
“Aye.”
She looked away. “While I was gone I came to think…that I might be able to…”
“Yes?” The word was spoken carefully, but Christian could not deny the ray of hope that flickered inside him.
She shrugged. “What matter that I tell you, for ’tis all madness. You would never agree to my terms. You love the man you call Dragon too well to be willing to accept that I might not wish to see him avenged.”
He continued just as carefully. “Pray, tell me what you are speaking of.”
She swung around. “I…Sean and I have had words….”
“He is in love with you.”
She stared at Christian. “How blind must I have been that I did not see what a stranger could?”
He shrugged. “You did not wish to see. You do not have such feelings for him.”
She scowled. “That is not what I wished to speak to you about. Yet it does have some bearing on the notion of going with you to England.”
“You will come with me?”
She held up a slim hand. “Hear me out. For I believe you will never agree to my terms and I will not go otherwise.”
“Name them.”
She did not answer directly. “I do see that the evidence is great, though it all seems so incredible. And a part of me does wish to go. I would give much to learn of my father’s world. Yet none of what you say feels even the least bit familiar.”
Again he spoke carefully. “That is not surprising, since you recall so very little of your life before coming here.”
She seemed resigned to this fact as she answered, “I cannot argue that.”
He watched her, unable to disguise his rising hope.
She grimaced as she added, “As I said, there is a condition.”
“Again I say name it.”
She faced him without wavering, her eyes now filled with determination. “I ask that you pledge to return me here to Ashcroft when I bid you, in spite of your feelings on the matter. And that you will do nothing to try to coerce me into staying.”
“But—”
Firmly she said, “I will not go unless you give me your word.” Her gaze filled with entreaty. “You must realize it is the only way I may feel I have some part in determining my own life once we leave here. I will be powerless in your world, without friends or a home of my own.”
“We shall be that to you, Simon, Jarrod and I, as well as our families.”
“Please.”
Christian took a deep breath and let it out slowly. How could he deny her? Even if he were inclined to stand on his honor and declare that he would never attempt to coerce her—even without making a formal pledge—he could not say so. The pain and uncertainty in her gaze would not allow him to belittle her fears.
Falling down upon one knee, as he would when swearing an oath of fealty, he said, “So I do swear.” He then rose.
For a moment she looked at him with shock and amazement. “Do you mean you would agree so easily?”
He frowned. “I have done so.”
He could see that, far from lessening her uncertainty, what had just occurred seemed to have added to it. “I have agreed to accompany you?”
He nodded. “You have.”
“Rowena.”
She looked around, knowing Sean’s voice well, though she felt a trace of reluctance because of the continued anger evident in it.
“Ye are going with him?”
“Aye.” She glanced down at the small bundle of belongings that rested on the edge of her bed. It had taken very little time to gather the few things she meant to take with her. She did not wish to ask Christian to carry them in the event that they grew too heavy for her.
Christian had gone to Hagar’s to discover if there had been any word of his horse, or another. He had informed her that both he and Rowena would be leaving Ashcroft as soon as possible.
Rowena could only assume that Hagar must have told her son the news of their departure.
Sean came toward her, his gaze pleading, and she knew she had guessed correctly. “Please do not do this,” he said hoarsely.
“I must.” She avoided looking into his eyes. “I will learn what I can of my father.”
“He is using ye.”
She knew he was speaking of Christian. “I am using him.”
“Rowena!” The torment in his tone and expression were too painful to witness.
She told herself that she was doing the right thing. By the time she returned, Sean would be over this madness. He was so young and only needed time to think. “You and I will benefit from a time apart.”
His voice was rough. “I will never mention my feelings for ye again if ye will but stay. We can go on as we always have.”
She met his gaze sadly. “That is not possible. Too much has been said between us. When I come back, enough time will have passed that we can have something different.”
“Then let me be the one to go away for a time.”
She shook her head, speaking gently. “I have given my word. I will keep it. As I said, I will learn what I can of my father. You of all others know how much that means to me.”
His expression was incredulous. “You do not actually believe that you are this R
osalind.”
She grimaced. “How can I? But I must find out. I must know.”
Hagar’s voice came from behind them. “Sean.”
They both swung around at the same time. The older woman was watching Rowena. “Sean did not tell you that a horse has been found?”
Rowena shook her head.
She could see the regret as well as the resolution in the older woman’s face. “You will leave at first light.” Here, then, was someone who understood her need to go. “You must go with God.”
“Thank you, Hagar. I love you.”
“As I do ye, lass.”
Sean spat out the words. “Ye do not approve of this!”
“’Tis not my place to approve or not to approve. ’Tis my place but to love and to keep the secret that Sir Christian has been here and taken Rowena off with him—as he has bade me. As will ye and all others in the village, me lad.”
“Mither.”
“Ye mun let her go, Sean. If the knight speaks true about who she is, we ha’ no right to keep Rowena. Her destiny lies away.”
Rowena rose and went to enfold the older woman in her arms. “It matters not what proves to be the truth. I shall return to you and my life here.”
Hagar held her tightly, making no reply.
Sean groaned and hit his fist against the wall. He moved forward, then stopped to grab up something from the table before running out the door.
Chapter Seven
The sky was just light enough to see the treacherous path before her as Rowena followed Sir Christian Greatham away from her home the next morning. Slowly he led the way down the cliffs to the beach below, glancing back often to see how she was faring. He did not speak, and for that she was grateful.
Rowena avoided meeting his gaze. She did not wish to talk. She forced herself to face forward, not to look back as she left the only life she could remember.
It had been a good life, and when she returned she hoped she might come back with some knowledge of herself that would help her to go on with more peace than she had heretofore known. There was no doubt in her mind that she would be coming back. Even if by some improbable stroke of fate it was revealed that she was indeed Rosalind Kelsey, she had no intention of forsaking all she knew and trusted.
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