by E. Davies
“I want to integrate it better into the community, and I want it to be a safe space for people.” Matt sounded like he’d given this talk before. He was clearly passionate about it. “Which is why I haven’t dated in ages.” He smiled sheepishly.
Cas blinked, not putting two and two together. “Why—okay, not following you.”
“Oh. I don’t pick up gym members. I don’t want it to be one of those predatory gyms where women don’t feel safe working out.”
“And men?” Cas asked, smiling. Was that why Matt had been so nervous and slow to ask him out?
“Um…” Matt trailed off and sighed. “Like I said before, I don’t feel confident that I know what I’m doing.”
“Because dating men is different?” Cas probed gently.
“I guess I always thought so. But yesterday was nice. It just worked.”
“Mmhmm,” Cas agreed. He was glad Matt had felt as comfortable as he did. “Even with the PDA?”
“It was easier than I thought,” Matt admitted and smiled. “You made it easy.”
“Is this going to be a sexual thing, too?” Cas asked. “Or romantic alone? Platonic? I don’t want to put pressure on us, but I want to know what you’re comfortable with.”
Matt paused and crinkled his eyes in an adorably thoughtful expression, like he’d never been asked that before. “I think it’s… all of the above. I’m really attracted to you. I just don’t want it to be only sex. I like this thing we’ve had going for the last few weeks, and I’m…” he trailed off. His eyes lit up like he’d just realized something.
Cas decided to stay quiet and just nod, waiting for Matt to share if he wanted to.
“I’m afraid that if we do fuck, that’ll be it for us. Because that’s the only thing I know. So far, it isn’t like any other relationship I’ve had, and not just because you’re a guy. I don’t want to lose this.”
Cas downed the rest of his shot and put aside the glass so he could squeeze Matt tightly, snuggling into his side. “I don’t just wanna fuck you and move on,” he assured him. “But I don’t believe in waiting for some arbitrary future date when we could be happy right here and now. Anything could happen tomorrow.” He ran his hand slowly up Matt’s chest. “I don’t want to put off what feels right, just in case it’s better later.”
Matt’s breathing quickened. “Yeah,” he murmured. “I hear you.” He slid his arms around Cas’s waist and pressed his lips against his neck. “And you feel so damn right.”
Caspian slid over Matt’s lap and straddled him again. It was much more comfortable here on the couch than trying to stay balanced on a weight bench. “You do too. Especially like this,” he teased, grinding against Matt.
“Oh, hello, gorgeous.” Matt grinned.
“For that, you get this.” Cas kissed him hard, and then pulled back to murmur, “And… don’t worry. I like you. I want more than your dick. But dear Jesus, can you give it to me now before I die of thirst, please?” He ran his hand down Matt’s chest and in between them to rub both their cocks—Matt’s with the palm, his own with the back of his hand.
Matt laughed and nipped his jaw. “Well, when you put it like that.” His voice sounded strained. “I couldn’t say no to those eyes.”
Cas grinned and made a mental note of that. He fluttered his lashes to make both of them laugh, and to calm Matt’s nerves.
When he kissed Cas, Matt was cool and confident again. He cupped Cas’s cheeks and pulled him in for a long, dirty kiss before letting one hand slide away to his shoulder and side. Before Cas knew it, Matt was cupping his ass, squeezing their bodies closer together.
“Yes,” Cas panted, rolling his head back so Matt could kiss his throat. “That’s what I’ve been waiting for. That and a whole lot more.”
Matt licked slowly along from the indent of his collarbone to his Adam’s apple, and then to the soft skin under his chin. When he kissed Cas again, he pulled him in close with a hand on the back of his head.
He wasn’t just giving it to him and driving off. He was claiming him in a way Cas couldn’t put words to, but could feel vibrating in the air between them. The beginning of something yet to be discovered, as they clumsily felt their way along each other’s bodies, imagining and exploring their way into it.
Cas pulled his shirt off in a quick movement, then squirmed to get his shorts down. Matt teasingly tried to keep him in place, tickling his sides until Cas laughed and smacked his chest. “Asshole.”
“Sorry. You’re cute when you’re frustrated,” Matt told him with a grin.
“Sexually? Or just wanting to knock your head against… well…”
“Preferably your cute little ass,” Matt filled in before Cas could think of a way to finish. “Oh, you meant that head. That works too.”
Cas fought Matt’s shirt off, too. He just wanted them naked, and now. Or preferably yesterday. “You can put any head anywhere you want, baby.”
His chest rose and fell rapidly, but the curves of his pecs and the lines of his abs were showstopping. He looked like he could pick Cas up singlehandedly and fuck him against the wall, and now that was all Cas could think about.
Matt seemed to read his mind as he raised his hips enough to pull his shorts down, and their naked bodies finally pressed together from head to toe. Just like the first time they’d chatted, the connection between them was strong, if new.
“Oh, yes,” Matt whispered. “You feel incredible against me.”
It was all Cas could do not to just squirm all over his lover’s lap and grind against every inch of that hard body.
“Now you,” Matt breathed out, hooking his thumbs into Cas’s elastic waistband. He pulled down slowly, easing the fabric down his thighs.
So close to him, Cas could hear Matt’s breath catch in his throat when he revealed the dark purple silk boyshorts.
“See? I can butch up with the best,” Cas smirked.
Matt laughed, but not at him—with him. For the first time, Cas felt the difference, and he burst into a grin of his own. “I love your attitude. And those look hot. Scoot so I can get a better look,” he tapped Cas’s hip, getting him to stand up.
As he did, Cas kicked his shorts off, so all he wore was the little satin garment. The outline of his cock strained against it, the head incredibly sensitive to the single finger Matt ran up along the shaft.
“Fuck,” Cas whispered and nearly doubled over, grabbing the back of the couch behind Matt. He nearly saw stars at that gentle, teasing touch and the texture along with it.
With one finger, Matt could make him come undone. With two hands, Cas was in serious trouble.
“Nuh uh,” Matt told him when he started to sink onto his lap again. He grabbed Cas’s hips and hauled him upright, then guided his knee to the arm of the sofa for some support. That left his crotch at eye-level.
At Matt’s eye-level, that was.
“You make me want to do the dirtiest things to you, but sweet-talk you the whole time.” Matt grinned up at him, running his hands gently up Cas’s thighs.
Cas grabbed the back of the sofa, his toes curling into the ground and the air as Matt’s lips finally touched the throbbing shaft barely hidden under the layer of satin.
It was exquisite—that was the only word Cas could think of for it—when a man’s lips touched his cock through the thin fabric. It was a kind of sensitivity he was pretty sure men in cotton underwear could only dream of.
“Oh, that’s perfect,” Cas sighed when Matt’s lips finally closed around the head of his shaft. All he wanted now was the warmth and wetness of his mouth, but the drag of satin against every vein and ridge made this an acceptable temporary diversion.
For now, he could take a little teasing. He’d been waiting this long, after all.
The fabric was maddeningly thick, keeping him all too dry, but the warmth of Matt’s tongue made it through, and the pressure of his lips. He kissed up and down the shaft, and sometimes Cas’s inner thighs, while Cas tried not to let his legs
shake too hard.
“Please,” Cas finally begged. “Fuck, I can’t wait for you.”
Matt hooked his thumbs in Cas’s waistband as he had before, and dragged down just as carefully until his cock sprang free. “Oh, gorgeous,” he whispered, just before he took the head into his mouth and swallowed.
Okay, he knew what he was doing. Cas’s worry about holding back evaporated when Matt deep-throated him to the very base in one gulp, then set into a quick rhythm to reward him for his patience.
Somehow, Cas’s grip had shifted from the back of the couch to the back of Matt’s head. He tangled his fingers in his hair, scratching his scalp gently as he moaned. Matt smacked his ass, encouraging him to thrust, and he did so gently at first.
Just as he was getting into it, pleasure building into a steady throbbing hum, Matt pulled back and grinned. “Should’ve asked if you want a condom.”
“Fuck, no,” Cas whispered. “If you give me syphilis, I know where you live.”
Matt laughed again, yanking Cas down onto his lap to kiss him. “I love the way you think, too. Did I mention that?”
Cas beamed. “Careful. I’m starting to think you like me.”
Matt pretended to gasp. “Me?” He dragged Cas’s hand to his cock—which was hard as hell. “I sure liked sucking you off. Draw your own conclusions.”
“And then milk them?” Cas grinned, running his hand carefully along the shaft. He gave a little twist and pushed it back down, stroking him in a slow, even rhythm at first.
Matt groaned and rolled his head back against the couch. “You can grind on me. Make us both feel good.”
Normally, Cas would have gone for a quick blowjob so he could get it over with and leave. But with Matt, the pleasure wasn’t in the finish line—it was in the journey to get there. So he stayed, taking his time, and he gave Matt another minute of this slow teasing before he straddled him again.
“Yes,” Matt panted, grabbing his hips and thrusting up against him. The move made the heads of their cocks slide together, and both of them gasped at once. “Yeah, this is good.”
Cas couldn’t have agreed more. Already sensitive and wet from Matt’s mouth, he shared those sensations with Matt at a leisurely pace. Every thrust of his hips pushed them both closer to the edge.
They were flying together, their gasps and pants coming faster and louder as their hands hungrily roamed each other’s bodies.
And then Cas couldn’t stop himself anymore. He was too on-edge from anticipation and need. “Fuck, I—” He was making a mess, his body drawing tight as he gasped and dug his nails into Matt’s shoulders.
Matt’s chuckle was deep as he held him tight. “Yeah, baby, come for me. Look at you! You’re gorgeous.”
Cas had never expected to hear words like that, and at such a moment? Fucking priceless. He was never gonna let this guy go.
But eventually his hold weakened as he swayed backward, working a hand between them to jerk off Matt. He was slick already and close to the edge, grunting at even a light touch.
“You beautiful man,” Cas marveled, grinning at him. This might be far from Matt’s first sex with a guy, but if it was the first post-date sex, he was going to relish that as a compliment, and a chance to make a memory he’d never forget.
“Yes!” Matt’s expression creased as he closed his eyes tightly, shallow panting breaths spilling from his lips. Then he gasped and shuddered as he came. It just added his own mess to what Cas had already managed.
Cas giggled. “You’re gonna need a shower. And sleep.”
“You could stay here,” Matt offered. “I don’t even have to be up at quarter to six.”
Cas gave him an even giddier smile. He could push back his own work a little bit, if that was an offer.
They didn’t say much on their way to bed, but they did take their time kissing before Matt turned out the light.
“Good night,” Matt finally murmured in the darkness, stroking Cas’s shoulder.
“Sleep tight.”
“You know, I think I will. And it’s not even ‘cause of the whiskey.”
Caspian grinned to himself. “Good.”
They could deal with the question of what they were doing in the morning. For now, he could pretend that this thing with Matt was going to turn out different than ever before.
After all, it had so far. How long could that keep up?
17
Matt
As far as Matt was concerned, it was basically his duty to cook breakfast. He had no idea who was supposed to do this when it was two guys, but it was his kitchen, so it made sense that it was him.
He didn’t manage to keep it very quiet, though. He didn’t even have the bacon in the frying pan before Caspian peeked out of the bedroom, rubbing his eyes and squinting. “What’s all this racket?”
“Oh, um. Sorry.” Matt blushed. “I was trying not to wake you up.”
“Were you trying to bring me breakfast in bed?”
Matt tapped his nose conspiratorially. “Maybe. Don’t tell my sexy date from last night. He was fast asleep when I left him there.”
“If I pretend to be fast asleep, will you wake me up with whipped cream on my nipples?”
Matt snickered. “If you asked me to, I’d do it.”
“I’m half-tempted to now,” Caspian told him, but he grinned and headed for the fridge. “Juice?”
“Orange. Glasses in that cupboard.”
They worked together well as he cooked and Caspian rummaged around to find plates, utensils, and condiments. It was amusing to see a guy he hardly knew trying to find his way around the kitchen.
Every time Caspian gave him one of those cute little smiles, though, Matt’s heart melted. He could get used to having him around.
“Did you sleep well?”
“Like a baby on a bed of… clouds and angel wings.” Caspian grinned. “You?”
Matt snickered. “Really? Not bad for my shitty mattress.”
“Yeah, it is a pretty shitty mattress. But I liked having you there,” Caspian told him.
That honesty was a refreshing breeze after the kinds of men he’d met on Grindr before. Like a cool autumn evening after a stifling hot Texan summer. He sighed with relief and smiled. “Good. Glad I didn’t keep you awake with my sleep-walking.”
“No wanderings that I saw.” Caspian sat at the table and folded his hands in his lap. “You have to be into work early?”
“Pretty much anytime. Rory leaves at three again, so sometime before that.” Matt’s heart leapt with this faint hope that maybe… maybe there were plans for this morning. “You?”
“I really gotta start photographing the rest of the Christmas collection,” Cas told him, his lips tugging into a frown. “It’s already August. I’m way late.”
Matt gasped. “You, late? Wow. I’ll make a note on your report card.”
“It’s not often,” Cas chuckled. “But I’ve been distracted this year, getting friends set up in new jobs and designing a few custom pieces, all kinds of stuff. Time just got away from me.”
“It does that,” Matt said with a regretful little smile. Before the conversation grew morose, he served up breakfast and brought it over, and asked Cas about his latest pieces.
Before he knew it, they were clearing up the dishes, and Cas was casting reluctant looks over to the door.
“I guess I should let you go,” Matt said with a sigh. “If I have to.”
“Only for now,” Cas promised.
Matt had a hard time believing that, somehow. He had no reason not to believe him, which meant it was his own damn self-esteem again, wasn’t it? He just smiled and walked Cas to the door, determined not to come off as the desperate loser he felt like sometimes. “See you soon, then, huh?”
“Soon,” Cas promised. “Thanks for another great night.”
“No, thank you. And thanks for enduring my mattress,” Matt grinned.
“Next time, mine,” Cas told him and leaned in for a kiss. “That’s an
order.”
“Oh, yes, sir.” Matt slapped that pert little ass and grinned when Cas gasped. “That’s for next time, too.”
“So’s this.” Cas grabbed him and hauled him in for a good kiss or ten before he finally broke away and wiggled his ass on the way out the door. “See you!”
“See you,” Matt managed after a moment, watching him out to the car. He waved again as Cas drove off, and then closed the door and rested his shoulder against it. Just letting him go without a promise of exactly when they’d see each other again was one of the hardest things he’d done.
Damn it, this guy was completely his type. Whatever he had to do to keep him, he’d do it.
If he deserved a guy like Caspian, that was.
“Hello, hello.” Matt sauntered through the door to a gym already in full swing, which was rare. Usually he was here not long after Rory, even on a so-called day off.
Rory looked up from the desk, halfway to picking up the pen as if he were a member about to sign in, and then grinned. “Well, look who the cat dragged in.”
“What?” Matt pretended to look offended. He’d gotten a clean change of clothes and everything. “I’m well-rested and bright-eyed—”
“And totally got laid,” Rory interrupted, rolling her eyes. “Good for you. This arrived.”
He took the torn manila envelope and dumped the contents out, squinting at the papers.
Finally, he realized that it looked like a list of names.
“A petition?”
“Bet you can’t guess who sent it.”
“No way,” he scoffed. “The Facebook crowd?”
Rory’s voice was tight. “Read it.”
So he did, leafing through the pages he would have otherwise thrown straight in the scanner. Just the same stuff he saw online about God’s will, burning homosexuals, and the usual crap.
The one thing that caught his eye—and he suspected had caught Rory’s—was in the list of signing bodies. A couple of churches in random states, and…
“Hidden Creek?”