by Lou Cameron
Captain Gringo smiled dubiously and asked, “Do you mind telling me who you’re having this war with, General?”
“The Honduran Government, of course. You have no idea how our poor people suffer under those tyrants.”
The American laughed bitterly and said, “I’m afraid I do, sir. If your side wins, they’ll be saying it a year from now. Let’s skip the bullshit about what the little people want. You know nobody gives a damn.”
Romez looked hurt, but Gaston laughed and said, “I told you he was a professional, General.” He turned to Captain Gringo and added, “The general feels he must justify his revolution, but we have all read Machiavelli, non? Ideals are for the masses. They are not part of the soldier of fortune’s battle kit. How does the money strike you, my young friend?”
The waitress brought a glass of tequila with a slice of lemon on the side. The American stared down at it and said, “I don’t know. I’d like to think I had some ideals left.”
“Merde alors! After all your recent educational experiences you bore us with ideals? Men with ideals cause most of the trouble in this unjust world. Your liberal sentiments have left you wanted on a murder charge against you in the States. You know you can never go home again. If you don’t join us, where do you intend to go?”
Captain Gringo grimaced and said, “I don’t seem too popular in Mexico at the moment. I was sort of thinking about a steamer to Australia.”
“What would you do in Australia, herd sheep? Besides, they have an extradition treaty with the States. You will be much safer in Honduras.”
“You call getting mixed up in another revolution safe?”
“We had fun with this one in Mexico, non? General Romez, here, is not a dreamer like the late professor. In Honduras you will find yourself a respected member of the new government.”
“Yeah? Suppose we lose?”
“All things are possible. If things don’t work out for us in one revolution there’s always another one, somewhere. They have a revolution every year in Nicaragua. Another is brewing in Panama, and Costa Rica … Oh, wait until you see the women of Costa Rica!”
“I’ve got a woman. She’s waiting for me at the hotel and she’s going to be worried if I don’t get back soon.”
“You brought a woman to Tehuantepec? Merde, the women here are the best lays in Mexico!”
“I know. She’s a Maya.”
Gaston put a finger alongside his nose and winked, saying, “Ah, at last I understand all this bullshit about ideals. Why don’t you bring her along to Honduras?”
“I don’t know if I have the right to mix her up in any more gunplay. Come to think of it, I don’t know if I have the right to mix me up in any more gunplay. Maybe I should learn a trade.”
“If you have a trade. You spent four years at West Point learning to kill people, and I must say you are very good at it.”
“Hey, look, they never trained me to be an out-and-out mercenary.”
“They didn’t? May I ask if you shot Apaches on your own time, or did they pay you? All soldiers are hired killers, in the end. The smart ones fight for the higher salaries. Your own sainted Washington drew a salary and retired as the richest slaveholder in Virginia.”
“Damn it, Gaston, you’re twisting history!”
“Mais non, I understand history. No matter what the cause or color of the flag may be, all men fight, in the end, for naked power. Some men rob banks, others collect taxes. In either case they need a gun, or hire those who know how to use one with skill.”
General Romez cut in, “They tell me you just about beat the whole Mexican Army, almost single-handed. Perhaps I was hasty about a thousand pesos, if you’re as good as they say.”
Gaston laughed and said, “He is better than his legend, but, up to now, he’s been fighting everyone as a hobby. What about it, Captain Gringo? Don’t you think it’s about time you got paid for your skills?”
He saw the American was still hesitating, but added, “Drink your drink and get your girl. You will love it in Honduras.”
Captain Gringo sprinkled salt on the back of his hand and licked it off. Then he took a bite of lemon and a deep breath before draining his glass at a single gulp. As the tequila hit bottom he sighed and said, “What the hell, it’s a living. But what if the other side wins again?”
Gaston shrugged and answered, “I told you there would always be Panama. A soldier of fortune is never out of work for long in this part of the world, these days. So welcome to the ranks.”
About the Author
Lou Cameron (June 20, 1924 - November 25, 2010) was an American novelist and a comic book creator. Cameron served in Europe during World War II in the U.S. Army’s 2nd Armored Division (“Hell On Wheels”). Before becoming a writer, Cameron illustrated comics such as Classics Illustrated and miscellaneous horror comics.
The film to book adaptations he wrote include None But the Brave starring Frank Sinatra,California Split, Sky Riders starring James Coburn, Hannibal Brooks starring Oliver Reed and an epic volume based on a number of scripts for the award winning CBS miniseries How the West Was Won (not to be confused with the novelization by Louis L’amour of the identically titled feature film, although the TV series was loosely based on that film.)
Between 1979 and 1986, using the pseudonym “Ramsay Thorne”, pulp fictioneer extra-ordinaire Lou Cameron wrote 36 Captain Gringo adult western novels featuring as protagonist Richard Walker, better known as “Captain Gringo”.
He has received awards such as the Golden Spur for his Western writings. He wrote an estimated 300 novels.
Read more about Lou Cameron at
http://piccadillypublishing.org/cameron.html
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