by McKayla Box
“I'm sorry,” I say. “Are you my father? Are you my boyfriend? No, I didn't think so.” I lean toward him, my nose inches away from his chest, looking up at him. “So about if you fuck right off?”
He grabs me by the arm and yanks me into him. I stumble in the water and crash into his body. He kisses me and he tastes like salt and wax and everything good. And dear god does he know how to kiss.
But I pull away from him and stumble backwards, my feet splashing through the water.
“How was that, New Girl?” he asks. “Was that as good as kissing your buddy Derek?”
It's like he knows how much better it was, but I won't give him the satisfaction of saying that.
“What the hell?” I sputter, unsure what to say.
Trevor laughs and unstraps the velcro from his ankle. Brett and Jake emerge from the water behind him.
“Well, well,” Brett says, grinning. “Long time no see.”
Jake looks me up and down. “Still looking good, though.” He winks at me. “You need to go for a ride? In the water, I mean.”
Brett laughs, but Trevor just watches me.
“Don't ever do that again,” I say to him.
“You don't mean that,” Trevor says. “And we both know it.”
I hate that he's right. I don't mean it. I want to kiss him again, right there in the ocean in front of his friends.
But I won't.
“And I'm not going to tell you again,” Trevor says, picking up his board and tucking it under his arm. “Stay away from that asshole.”
“Aw, jesus,” Brett says, rolling his eyes. “Still with that jockstrap Morgan? Really?”
“You seemed smarter,” Jake says. “Guess not.”
“You aren't going to tell me what to do,” I say to Trevor.
He steps closer to me, looking down at me. His eyes are glittering in the dark, drops of water beading on his face. I want to lick them off.
“Oh no?” he asks.
I hesitate for a fraction of a second. “No. Not ever.”
He smiles and those perfect lips part. “We'll see about that.”
NINETEEN
I walk quickly back up to the bonfire, in desperate need of both my friends and another drink. I see Maddie cozied up with a guy near the fire. Bridget is still talking to the guy I'd seen her with earlier. And Gina is nowhere to be found.
I fight through the crowd to the parking lot and get to Maddie's car. The trunk is unlocked and I grab another red cup and the bottle of rum. I splash some soda into the cup, then fill the rest of it with the rum. My hand is shaking as I down half of it.
“Drinking by yourself,” a voice says behind me. “How pathetic.”
I know it's Shanna so I don't bother turning around because this night is quickly turning into a nightmare and I think if I don't look at her, maybe I'll wake up and she'll disappear.
But she walks around the car, followed by Jessica and Lisa, looking me up and down like I need inspecting. “Your friends run off and leave you? Or did they realize you actually are a skank and don't want anything to do with you?”
I take another drink and look at her. “I was hoping they were holding you under water until you died, but I guess not.”
She laughs, but there's no joy behind it. “I was thinking about doing the same thing to you.”
I level my eyes with hers. “Try me.”
“I saw Derek talking to you earlier,” she says, ignoring the challenge.
“Good for you.”
“I thought we already talked about that.”
“You talked,” I say. “And I can't control who comes and talks to me.”
“Like you aren't baiting him,” Lisa says with a sneer.
“You don't even know what that means,” I say. “Maybe the three of you should run along and do some cartwheels in the sand or something.”
“Maybe you should shut your mouth,” Jessica snaps.
“Why don't you try and shut it for me?” I say.
She glares at me and I realize that as quick as they are with words, they have yet to really come at me when I open that door. They are the worst kind of cowards – big on words, but small on actions.
“I saw you with Trevor, too,” Shanna says. “Guess you're just making the rounds tonight.”
“Maybe,” I say, taking another sip from the drink. “Or maybe I'm just deciding which one to go home with.”
Her perfect little cheeks go pink in the dark and she takes a step toward me. “I told you not to fuck with me, you bitch.”
“I'm not fucking with you,” I say. “I was talking about fucking with them.” I smile. “Know the difference, okay?”
Her hands ball into tight little fists. “You have no idea what you're doing. I'm going to make it my mission to ruin your life.”
“I'm not sure you're capable of handling that...mission,” I say. “And you're boring me.” I push off of Maddie's car. “So get out of my way.”
“Why don't you move me?” Shanna says, crossing her arms across her chest.
Before I can think twice, I jerk my cup at her, spraying her face with what's left of my rum and soda. Her hands fly to her face and she takes a couple of steps backward, her eyes shut tight, the alcohol and soda dripping off of her face.
“Payback,” I say, dropping the cup at her feet. “Don't ever pour a drink on me again.”
“You are so dead,” Lisa whispers. “So dead.”
“Think I'll be okay,” I say. “Maybe dry your friend off. That rum probably stings in her eyes.”
Both she and Jessica turn their attention to their friend, who is squeezing her eyes shut so tightly that I'm certain I'm right about it stinging.
“Seriously,” I say. “You better clean her up or it's really going to start hurting.”
As they focus on their friend, I take the opportunity to walk away and leave them there to deal with their rum-covered friend.
TWENTY
I find Maddie and Bridget near the bonfire and I'm relieved that I don't have to wander alone.
Bridget hugs me. “I wondered where you went off to.”
“Don't ask,” I say. “I saw you talking to someone, so I didn't want to bother you.”
She rolls her eyes. “An ex that just wants to hook up. I played nice, but declined.”
I look at Maddie. “And you're still...alone?”
She holds up her cup with a wicked smile. “Still making decisions.”
I look around. “Where's Gina?”
Bridget smiles. “I saw her walking up with beach with a...sophomore.”
“She likes them young,” Maddie says, nodding approvingly.
“You were down in the water,” Bridget says. “With Trevor.”
I shrug. “Not for long.”
She studies me for a moment. “You alright?”
The heat from the fire is intense, but I don't move away. I nod. “Yeah, I'm fine.”
They both eye me curiously.
“Well, I did throw rum and Coke in Shanna's face, but other than that, I'm fine,” I tell them.
Their eyes grow huge. I laugh and shrug again. “Wasn't sure what else to do.”
Maddie laughs hysterically and Bridget just shakes her head. “Presley, you are something else.”
But I don't feel like something else. I feel like a girl who is on thin ice with nearly everyone around me. The cheerleaders are out to get me. The most dangerous boy in school is messing with me. And I don't really have any idea what I'm doing. I'm glad I've made a few friends, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm still alone in all of this.
I notice that the voices around us are getting louder. “What's going on?”
Bridget pulls her phone from her hip and looks at it. “It's about time.”
“About time for what?”
Maddie grins. “The dash.”
“The what?”
“The dash,” Bridget says, tucking her phone back into her shorts. She then takes off her shirt and shimmies out
of her shorts. She's wearing a black bikini beneath her clothes. “Every year at midnight, the seniors line up and we sprint down the beach and into the ocean. They've been doing it for years.”
The bathing suits suddenly make sense.
“And then someone is supposed to do the pier,” Maddie says. “But no one has in, like, ten years.”
“What do you mean?” I ask. “Do the pier?”
She points to the far end of the wooden structure jutting out into the water. “Someone is supposed to go to the end of the pier and jump off. Supposedly, that used to be the tradition. One idiot would go out there, jump off, and swim back in. But it stopped because a guy jumped and drowned. Every year, people say they're going to do it, then chicken out.” She shakes her head. “I don't blame them. No fucking way would I jump from there.”
I look at where the end of the pier meets the ocean. It's maybe thirty feet high and what looks to me like several football fields long. Even in the dark, I can see the water smashing into the end of the pier out in the distance.
“Jesus,” I say. “That's insane.”
Both of them nod.
“Hi!” Gina says, out of breath, and coming up next to us. “Are we ready?”
“Of course we are,” Maddie says. “The question is did you defrock that poor tenth grader?”
Gina frowns as she wiggles out of her clothes. “Eleventh. And no. Pretty sure he's not a virgin.” Her frown changes to a grin. “He doesn't kiss like one.”
We laugh and I pull off my clothes. We pile all of our things together and join the mass of people lining up on the sand. The sand is cold beneath my feet and I dig my toes into it.
Bridget grabs my hand and squeezes it. “It's going to be so fucking cold.”
I laugh. “Uh huh.”
“And I forgot towels,” she says. “Run back to the fire when you get out.”
I nod and then someone yells go and everyone takes off, racing toward the water. Bodies crash through the water, people shout, and it's like the beginning of a triathlon. I'm sprinting in and hopping the smaller waves at my knees before diving forward into the black water. The ocean is cold and my body is shocked and I laugh as I kick under the water and come to the surface.
People immediately begin screaming about the cold, hugging themselves, and reversing course back toward the shore. I linger, though, staying in the water up to my neck, comforted by the ocean swallowing me up.
Then I'm picked up by a pair of strong arms and lifted out of the water before I realize it's happening. I try to twist to see who has me but the arms are holding me firm. It's only when I swing my head around that I realize it's Trevor.
“What the hell are you doing?” I say.
He laughs. “Just going for a walk.”
“Put me down!”
“I will in a minute.”
I try to swing at him with a fist but he has my arms pinned to the side of my body. He's navigating his way through all of the bodies in the ocean, stepping powerfully toward the shore.
“Put me down!” I yell at him.
He just laughs and keeps walking.
I try to kick at him but he has his other arm locked around my legs. Both of his arms are like padlocks.
We reach the pier and he starts up the stairs. I'm shocked for a moment at how easily he carries me, like I weigh nothing. He's hopping up the stairs with another human in his arms and it's as if his arms are empty.
We reach the pier and he starts walking toward the end.
“What are you doing?” I ask. “Put me down!”
“Not me,” he says. “We.”
“What are we doing?” I yell at him.
“Making history.”
“What the hell are you even talking about?”
“You'll see,” he says, grinning.
I start screaming, but I realize it's useless. We're too far away from the beach now and the ocean is too loud down below. I turn and scream right in his face.
He laughs again.
He's walking fast and something cold and sharp begins to form in my stomach. “Wait. Are we going to the end of the pier?”
“You aren't completely dumb, New Girl.”
“Jesus christ no. Put me the fuck down. I'm not jumping,” I tell him.
“You aren't jumping,” he says. “We are.”
“I'm not jumping. You're insane.”
“We. We are jumping,” he says. “Don't worry. I won't let anything happen to you.”
My heart pounds in my chest. “Trevor, I'm not kidding. Put me down. I'm not doing this.”
“You're doing this, New Girl,” he says. “I've already decided.”
I start squirming with every muscle I have, but it's no use. His arms are around me like locks and he holds me in place until we reach the end of the pier.
He finally sets me down and I back away from him until I bump into the railing.
He points down below. “See? It's not that far. We'll be fine.”
I don't look, shaking my head. “No. I'm not doing it.”
He steps closer to me, water beaded on his chest and shoulders. He tilts his chin downward. “I won't let anything happen to you, Presley.”
He uses my name and it stops me cold for a moment. I glance to my right out toward the ocean and the beach. I peek over the railing at the water beneath us. All I see is a black blanket, bubbling up and down.
“I can't,” I say, still staring at the water.
I can feel his eyes on me. “I saw you in the water. You aren't afraid of the water.”
I don't say anything.
“It's the height, isn't it,” he says, but it's not a question. He knows. “You're afraid of the height.”
I look at him. “I can't do it.”
“You can,” he says. “I want you to do it with me.”
“Why?”
“So we can say we did it,” he says. “So we can make a little history. So all of those assholes down there can wish they'd had the balls we have to actually do it.” He pauses. “I know you can do it.”
“Why me?” I ask. “Why are you picking me?”
He moves in closer and kisses me before I can pull away. “I told you, Presley. I already picked you on the first day.”
His eyes are locked on me and there's something about the way he says it that weakens me, that makes me believe him.
“I can't do it,” I say again.
He takes my hand. “Yes. You can. You can do it with me. I won't let anything happen to you.”
I turn again to the water and now I can see everyone gathered on the beach. Hundreds of people watching us. Someone has a light and it's pointed in our direction, not quite illuminating us in the dark, but they know we're up there. There's a murmur of excitement that drifts over the water toward us.
“When we jump, just keep your feet together,” he says. “So that they break the surface first. You don't even have to look down.”
“I can't,” I say.
“You can,” he says. “I'll hold your hand the whole way down. I won't let go.”
There's certainty in his voice, confidence that I don't have.
“Then just kick your way back up,” he says. “It'll be over and done before you even know we did it.”
I look down at the water, the terror of being up the high paralyzing me.
“Shanna isn't up here,” he says. “She's sure as shit not doing this. No one else is. Just you and me. Come on.”
He knows the right needle to poke me with. I'm scared, but I can't ignore the excitement of both doing it and doing it with Trevor. And I love the idea of doing something Shanna won't do.
I look at him. “Okay.”
He nods, like he's known the answer all along. “Okay. We're going to climb up on the railing, pause for two seconds, then go. I'll count out loud.”
My heart thumps inside of me and my stomach is filled with fireworks, but I nod. “Okay.”
“I'll climb up first,” he says. “Then I'll help you ge
t up.”
I nod.
He hops up the railing like he's two feet off the ground instead of thirty. A roar goes up from the beach. He ignores them and reaches his hand down to me. “Come on.”
I hesitate, then put my hand in his. I set my free hand on top of the railing and step up onto the first rung, then the second, then he helps me up so that we are both standing on top of the railing. The wind is gusting and my knees are shaking. The people on the beach are cheering and there's a chant going, but I can't make it out because there's a buzzing in my ears.
“Jesus,” I whisper.
Trevor squeezes my hand. “Gonna count to two and then we go. Got it?”
I barely manage a nod. I feel like I'm standing on top of the world and that it's going to collapse at any moment. But I know I can't get down now. If I do, I'll never hear the end of it. The only way down now is to jump.
I take a deep breath and exhale.
“One. Two,” Trevor says. “Go!”
There is a fraction of a second where I wonder if this is one of those games we played as a kid, where we'd pretend to go at the same time, but then one would back out and laugh as the other person jumped into the pool. But as I jump, his hand stays in mine, and we are both floating through the darkness together, my stomach giving way as we leap out off the pier and plunge down toward the ocean. The wind whistles past my ears and I shut my eyes, squeezing them shut and gritting my teeth.
And then my feet smash into the water and everything goes quiet as I'm swallowed up by the ocean. I squeeze Trevor's hand making sure he's still there and then start kicking as hard as I can, reaching up with my free hand to stop our descent in the water. We slow and then start to rise and after what seems a moment too long, my hand breaks the surface and I'm breathing air again, gasping for it, as if I'm surprised that it's there.
Trevor is chuckling beside me as we bob in the water. “Told you. Nothing to it.”
My heart is still hammering but I start laughing and it's the laugh of a serial killer or a crazy person who has lost their mind. The adrenaline is coursing through my veins and every part of me is tingling, even in the chilly water.
Trevor nods toward the shore. “Come on. Let's get in. I'll stay behind you.”
We start swimming and I feel strong, like I could swim against the current if I needed to. But we're moving toward the shore and the swells are pushing us closer and closer to the sand. I catch one wave and ride it into the shallows, my knees grazing the sand beneath me. I stand up, my knees still wobbly from everything and I realize that the beach is still roaring at what we've just done. People are running toward me as I stagger forward and I'm surprised by the first person to reach me.