by David Mamet
BOB: You sh—
JOLLY: Yes, I know.
BOB: You should take an oath never to talk to, meet with …
JOLLY: … but the children …
BOB: And the children most especially. How can this, are we going to expose another generation to this … this …
JOLLY: And the thing of it is, is …
BOB: He said what? What did he say …?
JOLLY: He …
BOB: He didn’t like the way you raise your children …
JOLLY: … he said that he’d been in therapy …
BOB: … hu.
JOLLY: … and he’d, he’d come to … what was it …?
CARL: “See.”
JOLLY: … he was a different man. From the man we knew.
CARL: He’d come to “realize” that he had “changed.”
JOLLY: … to realize that he had changed, yes, and the things which, in a prior life, he might have “suppressed” …
BOB: … that’s their way. That’s their way. That’s their swinish, selfish, goddam them. What treachery have they not done, in the name of …
JOLLY: … I know …
BOB: … of “honesty.” God damn them. And always “telling” us we …
JOLLY: … yes.
BOB: … we were the bad ones …
JOLLY: Well, we were.
BOB: … we were the bad ones.
JOLLY: And when he said it, I heard his father’s voice.
BOB: Well, fuck him …
JOLLY: And I saw. He’d turned into his father.
BOB: … he didn’t like the way you raise your kids …
JOLLY: And so, you know, I knew, I remembered. Way back. They were …
BOB: … they were sweet kids.
JOLLY: He was a sweet kid.
BOB: … she …?
JOLLY: He was a sweet kid, Buub. You weren’t there …
BOB: I was there for part of it.
JOLLY: NO. You weren’t there, you know. You weren’t there, I was there. I see where it all comes from. Both of them, the traits …
BOB: … Yes.
JOLLY: … and they had … I don’t mean to excuse them. I don’t want to excuse them.
BOB: … there’s no excuse for them.
JOLLY: No. I believe that. And I am not a vindictive person.
BOB: No.
JOLLY: I’m not, Buub. I’ve been thinking of this …
BOB: I know that you’re not.
JOLLY: And I think about all those years …
BOB: They treated you like filth. (Pause)
JOLLY: Yes. They did. They treated me like filth. Do you know, you don’t know, ’cause you weren’t there—when they first came. Mother told me, I was ten. So she was, what eight; she was going to sleep in my bed. She took up the bed, as she was a “creeper,” you know. I’m a rock. You put me in a bed. And unmoving. Morning. She was all over the place. And I went in and told Mom that I couldn’t sleep. She said, “She is his daughter, and this is the case. If you can’t sleep, sleep on the floor.”
BOB: No.
JOLLY: … and … yes. And she wouldn’t let me take the covers. (Pause)
CARL: … and she wanted to call him back.
BOB: Call him back.
CARL: Yes.
BOB: And say what?
JOLLY: I was so … astonished. By the phone call …
BOB: Someone calls me up, says, “I don’t like the way you raise your kids …”
JOLLY: I was, you know, like sometimes when you are in shock …?
BOB: … yes.
JOLLY: The most bizarre events seem “commonplace.”
BOB: … yes.
JOLLY: I was … because you know, I called HIM. He didn’t call me, I called him. This was the thing of it: The kids. My kids. They were close to him. When he and Susan first got married …
BOB: … yes …
JOLLY: They used to, they’d say: “What do your kids like to do? What are a list of their favorite …”
CARL: … activities.
JOLLY: … and we would write them down … and they would come over and take the kids, and take the list and do all of them.
BOB: Hm.
JOLLY: Do all of them. Five things in a day and they’d do all of ’em … and loved the kids. So. Since we’ve moved. And we had not heard from them. For six months. So I picked up the phone …
BOB: … that was your mistake.
JOLLY: I picked up the phone. And I called them. “How are you? Sorry we haven’t … ‘called’ you” … and the stress of moving … “pause.” Is there something wrong? Is something the matter? No. He doesn’t want to talk about it. “What is it?” and then …
BOB: And then you have to wrench it from him … Please tell me …”
JOLLY: The “counseling.” He’s “changed.” … He’s come to see.
BOB: … uh huh …
JOLLY: How he was re—
BOB: He was repressing his feelings.
JOLLY: Yes. He was repressing his—
BOB: About the way you raise your kids …?
JOLLY: Well, you know, and the counseling, and she is in the counseling and all this psychobabble. And they never took “responsibility” for any aspect of the things, you know, the things that they were “feeling.” … It’s all … “I.” “Me.” “What I feel.” Oh, oh, he said he’s learning—you’re going to love this: He’s learning to live “facing his past.”
BOB: Facing his past.
JOLLY: Facing his past.
BOB: Well, of course. Of course. That’s how they all live. Facing the past. Facing the past. Looking at the past. Fuck him. AND fuck “counseling,” is the thing I’m saying …
JOLLY: … I’m with you.
BOB: Fucking leeches.
JOLLY: “Counseling.”
BOB: Hey? Y’don’t need a roofing counselor. You need, you may need a roofer, tell you “get a new roof.” You don’t need, sit there, five years, five hours a week, talking about “Do we need a roof. Do we need a roof.” (Pause)
CARL: Tell him. (Pause)
JOLLY: You know, he told me, when he did Mom’s estate …?
BOB: Her estate? She never had a thing of her own, her whole life.
JOLLY: Hold on. I went to him, you know, all her antiques …?
BOB: He’s selling them. I know.
JOLLY: He sold them.
BOB: … he sold them?
JOLLY: He sold them. He kept saying, “Anything you want, just tell me …”
BOB: … he sold them …?
CARL: Yes.
JOLLY: So I told him. Everything I said …
BOB: … oh, no.
JOLLY: You know, and anything I’d ask for …
BOB: … yes.
JOLLY: He’d say, “Waaaaalll …, that’s a very special piece … uh. Huh huh.” What do I get? NOTHING. NOTHING. Nothing. Some cheap … and it doesn’t matter. (Pause) But she was my mother. And I was there while she was dying. I was there. I was there. He’d drop her off, and I was left, an infirm woman. Fourteen hours a day. And when she’d wake up at night, and my two kids, and no “Nurse,” no. And he could afford it … I couldn’t …
BOB: … no …
JOLLY: He could. And just drop her off. And sonofabitch that cunt that cunt that Carol DIDN’T EVEN COME TO THE …
BOB: … I know …
JOLLY: … the funeral. And who gets the armoire?
BOB: Which?
JOLLY: In the hallway. And who gets the mink coat? (Pause)
BOB: … I know …
JOLLY: Couldn’t spare the time …
BOB: … yes …
JOLLY: … from her counselors … who are, what, going to teach her how to Lead a Good Life …? Fuck HER. And all the married men she’s screwing. As her way. Of expressing herself, and could not even come to Mom’s funeral. And he says, “What do you want, Jolly …? And I tell him.
BOB: … yes …
JOLLY: Nothing very valuable, God forbid,
except that it had a meaning for me. AND EVERY PIECE, Buuby, that I say …
BOB: … I know …
JOLLY: He tells me why I cannot have it. Until …
BOB: … of course …
JOLLY: I stop asking.
BOB: … I know …
JOLLY: … because …
BOB: … I know, Jol …
JOLLY: … because, because … (Pause) So … so … he sold them. (Pause)
CARL: Tell him about the money.
JOLLY: I don’t care about the money.
CARL: Tell him.
JOLLY: (Sighs) So he says. So he says …
CARL: He’s “sold” the stuff …
JOLLY: So he says the proceeds are in an “estate.”
CARL: A trust.
BOB: A trust, I know.
JOLLY: So he says … I say, you know, we are having some tight times, we could really use some of the money …
BOB: … uh huh …
JOLLY: “It’s in a trust.” Uh huh. Round and round. Then he says, “I could, you know, perhaps I could invade the trust …”
BOB: … invade the trust …
JOLLY: Yes. “If it’s … if it’s truly …”
BOB: … why did it have to be “truly” …?
JOLLY: Wait. It gets worse. (Sighs) So. Round and round. I call. You know. This and that. The kids. “I really could use the money. We are really—you know … ‘moving’ …”
BOB: … yes.
JOLLY: … when we thought we were moving …
BOB: I know.
JOLLY: “And we’re really tight now …” (Pause) “And we could use some help.”
BOB: … I know what it cost. To ask him.
JOLLY: For “ten thousand dollars” … (Pause) the way he lives. “Ten thousand dollars” … Long long pause. “Waal …” I jump in. Whatever it took, that it took, out of the “will,” I don’t mean the will, what do I mean, the …?
CARL: … estate.
JOLLY: The “estate.” “Whatever it took, out of the estate. From …”
BOB: … God damn him.
JOLLY: … from Bill and Carol …
BOB: (Softly) God damn him …
JOLLY: “Whatever it took, just, if I have to sign something, I’ll sign whatever …”
BOB: … yes.
JOLLY: “… and subtract …”
BOB: … of course …
JOLLY: “And just give me my ‘portion’ now. (Pause) And we really need it.” (Pause) Because we did.
BOB: … I know you did.
JOLLY: And he says “no.” (Pause) Just “no.” (Pause) Just no.
CARL: She asked him to invade the trust and he said, “No.” (Pause)
JOLLY: … Oh. Oh. And it gets better. He didn’t say, “No.” He said … he said, “I am not convinced I would invade the trust if I could.” (Pause)
BOB: What does that mean?
JOLLY: Well, that’s what it means. (Pause) Are you hungry, Carl?
CARL: A little.
JOLLY: Mmm. I’ll get it in a minute.
CARL: All right. (Pause, JOLLY sighs.)
BOB: How are you doing, Carl?
CARL: I’m fine.
BOB: Holding on?
CARL: Oh, yeah. I’m holding on. (Pause) How about you Bob? (Pause)
BOB: You ever get tired of this? You must. It’s the same. Isn’t it? Every year.
CARL: … it’s the same …
BOB: … our family.
CARL: Yes. It’s the same.
BOB: Don’t you get tired of it?
CARL: Well, I tell you … (Pause)
BOB: Yes …?
CARL: It’s what it is, Bob.
JOLLY: And they made fun of us.
BOB: They …
JOLLY: You know they did. Carl and me. “Jolly …”
BOB: Uh huh …
JOLLY: “I’m sure that he’s a fine ‘man,’ Carl …”
BOB: Uh huh …
JOLLY: “But ‘we want to say’ …”
BOB: (To self) “We want to say …”
JOLLY: “Your mother and I want to say …”
BOB: Well, that was how they were …
JOLLY: Wasn’t it …
BOB: Yes.
JOLLY: Wasn’t it?
BOB: Yes.
JOLLY: And … the shit at Christmas. You know, you know, Marshall Fields …? She would take me to Fields. “What do you think?” Some dress. If I wanted the dress, I would have to say “naaaaah.” She would take me back. “I think it rather suits you.” “No, uh … it’s … it’s ‘pretty,’ Mom, but …” And of course, she would buy it for me. But if I said, “God, what a gorgeous dress.” Hey. You know what? Hey, you know what I’m going to tell you something: “fuck her, though she’s dead.” (Pause) Fuck her, and fuck the lot of ’em.
BOB: … they never loved us.
JOLLY: They, no, Buub, in their “way” …
BOB: Jol, Jol, that’s, that’s your problem …
JOLLY: What is? What is?
BOB: I say that I’m gonna sue the cocksucker. You say no. I mean. What in the hell possesses a man. To treat you like that: Do you see? It’s cruel. Jol. They’re cruel. They were cruel toward us, and if there’s such a thing as “abuse,” we got it. And your problem is …
JOLLY: I know what my problem is …
BOB: … your problem …
JOLLY: I know what my problem is …
BOB: Your problem is: You could not face the fact. They didn’t love you. And that’s your problem. That they did not love us. (Pause)
JOLLY: They loved you, Buub.
Middle of the night. BOB and JOLLY.
JOLLY: “If you don’t want it …”
BOB: “No, no, no, I like it.”
JOLLY: “Waal, if you don’t like it, you can take it back.”
BOB: “Hike it.”
JOLLY: “Waal. If you don’t. If you find …”
BOB: “No, I Like it. I do. I think that it’s …”
JOLLY: “Waal, your mother and I, only want to say …”
BOB: “I think that it’s …”
JOLLY: “You take it back. We ‘saved the slip’ … and …”
BOB: … fucking right I’m going to take it back. Because what would I do with it?
JOLLY: You remember the skis?
BOB: The skis.
JOLLY: I remember the skis. I wanted the skis. (Pause) I wanted skis that year.
BOB: You don’t ski, Jol.
JOLLY: Why don’t I ski? Bobby? (Pause) Oh shit. (Sighs) I just, you know, the thing of it, the thing of it is, I just wanted some skis. Would it have killed them to’ve given me a pair of skis? Was that so ludicrous? A monster like myself? Was that so … (Pause)
BOB: (Softly) … yes …
JOLLY: Christmas Day. (Pause) Christmas Day.
BOB: I know.
JOLLY: She …
BOB: Wait, wait, I remember.
JOLLY: You …?
BOB: I remember …
JOLLY: You remember what?
BOB: Christmas Day. A plaid … a … a plaid something.
JOLLY: A …
BOB: … that they gave me.
JOLLY: … yes?
BOB: A plaid …
JOLLY: A reversible raincoat.
BOB: That’s right.
JOLLY: A reversible raincoat.
BOB: … what did I do?
JOLLY: Monday morning. Took it back to Fields.
BOB: I took it back to Fields.
JOLLY: And traded it in.
BOB: That’s right.
JOLLY: For what?
BOB: I …? What? No, I’ve forgotten. Oh, my God. Jol. For what, then, a year …?
JOLLY: … easily … easily …
BOB: For a year. “Where is that raincoat, Bubby …?”
JOLLY: “… we gave you for Christmas. That you liked so much?”
BOB: “I left it at the …” Ah. Ah. Wait. Wait. Jol. Wait, wait, wait. I went back to Fields.
JOLLY: Um hmm.
BOB: TO SEE COULD I BUY BACK THAT COAT.
JOLLY: That’s right.
BOB: … could I buy back the raincoat.
JOLLY: That’s right, Buuby.
BOB: Could I buy back the Fucking Raincoat to stop the questions as to where was the raincoat. That I was so grateful for.
JOLLY: … that’s right.
BOB: That stupid raincoat. And that woman at Fields. Sent to fucking Germany to see, could they replace that raincoat.
JOLLY: That’s right, Bobby.
BOB: And calling her back. And calling her back Thursday, and oh, what a pathetic fucking thing. (Pause) My plaid. My Plaid Reversible Raincoat. (Pause)
JOLLY: And, you know, I’m thinking, all of this, “If you don’t like it, you can take it back …” If they had loved us. Mightn’t they have known what we might want? I know what my kids want. (Pause) I know what my kids want. It’s not that difficult. It’s Just Not. I’m sorry. Carl says … Carl, say what you will. I’m sorry, every weekend, Every weekend. You know what we did last weekend? They had friends sleep over. We made popcorn. We made fudge. Next morning we made pancakes. You know, you know, I turned into a fine cook.
BOB: I know you did.
JOLLY: No, I mean, you ain’t seen nothing here …
BOB: It was fantastic …
JOLLY: I mean a fine cook.
BOB: Jol, I had the dinner …
JOLLY: That was nothing.
BOB: No. It was fantastic.
JOLLY: No, I mean, Carl, you know, I wanted to do it, for him …
BOB: … uh huh …
JOLLY: Because before Carl you know …
BOB: Uh huh …
JOLLY: Before Carl … I …
BOB: I remember, Quiche Soup …
JOLLY: … I couldn’t Drop an Egg.
BOB: Uh huh …
JOLLY: Why should I …? Hummm? She never taught me … She never taught me a thing … I’m in here, the girls. Every night … Every Night I’m in here …
BOB: I saw them.
JOLLY: And they’re learning to cook.
BOB: I know.
JOLLY: You see, Bob? Do you see? This is a family. (Pause) And some day, Bob. I’m going to be dead. Some day, they are going, they are going to be in a kitchen. And they’re going to say. To their girls … “My mom …” (Pause) Because this is a Family. You see? “My mom used to do it this way.” (Pause) “This is what my mom taught me.” (Pause) And every weekend. We had a four-hour session of, we played Monopoly. We, God forgive us, we went bowling, we …
BOB: … the kids seem so …
JOLLY: … we rented a film we thought they and their friends would enjoy. And Carl, God bless that man, do you hear?