by Tijan
I wasn’t feeling up to wrestling right now, though.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m going to watch here.” A pause. “No, it’s good. She needed the sleep. Truth told, I need it, too.”
He hung up after that, and it was starting to come back to me.
I went in reverse.
He locked up for me.
He put me in his vehicle.
He held me, rubbing my face, and I fell asleep.
He and Hendrix had been at Come Our Way.
Me cutting vegetables all day.
Me freaking out.
Me forgetting my meds.
And I remembered that we were supposed to go to Hendrix’s tonight.
My limbs felt like cement was in them, but I called on the force of my racing mind and summoned enough energy to sit upright. Then, I rolled.
Then, I staggered to the bathroom.
Then, I used the bathroom.
Then, I brushed my teeth.
Then, I felt a bit more presentable.
Cut was on the couch with a beer in hand when I came out, my blanket was pulled around me because I was that kind of girl tonight.
“Morning.”
“Har, har.”
He laughed, lifting up a pillow beside him, but nope. I had worked on my insecurity and I went and curled in his lap. I no longer had any shame. I was going to embrace this relationship status we had, whatever it was.
He didn’t seem to mind. His arm curled around me, and he lifted me to his other leg so my back was against the couch’s armrest. My feet were on the cushions beside him, and as he picked up the remote, turning it to one of the NHL games that was on, I tipped back to watch him.
Seriously. So hot.
Those chiseled cheekbones. Lips that seemed perfect and wanted me to touch them.
He could scowl and my pants would fall off.
I laughed a little at that last one.
“What are you thinking?”
“You’re so handsome. You’re like the Beauty to my yeast infection.”
He’d been about to take a sip of beer, but stopped almost mid-pour. He swung big eyes toward me. “What?”
I laughed. “I’m joking.” A pause. “Not really.” But I reached up and grabbed his chin and shook it gently. Playfully. “You’re so pretty. You’re so pretty that if you were a unicorn, you’d shit glitter.”
He frowned. “Thank you?”
I was just getting started.
“You’re so pretty that if aliens ever invaded, they’d take one look at you and declare you their cult leader.”
He groaned. “That’s a bad one.”
Just getting started.
“You’re so pretty that the blind guy at Come Our Way asked for your digits.”
“Stop.”
“You’re so pretty that I look at you and poof, my brain short-circuits.” I patted the top of my head. “Do you see the steam?”
He laughed, then shook his head. “You wake up funny like this all the time?”
“Only when I’m around someone as beautiful as you.”
He was shaking his head again. “Keep going with the lines and I’ll start saying ’em back. You want that?” His arms tightened.
I froze, but my heart started pounding.
Guys hit on me a lot. Looks wise, I knew I was the ‘hang ten’, but anything past that and fuck no. I was the shark-infested waves. But no. He wasn’t going to scare me that way.
I sat up on my knees, staring down at him. “I can quote you line by line from Night at the Roxbury.”
“Like that scares me.”
“That’s movie one. Anchorman is next.”
“Yeah? Well, here’s my pickup line.” He grabbed me, but I expected him to roll me on my back and him on top. He didn’t. Cut was a lot more direct and simpler than me, and I was having flashbacks to the first night I went home with him because he merely anchored me on his lap. One of his hands slipped inside my pants, my underwear, and he had two fingers inside of me in two seconds.
I died.
He started thrusting.
I was gone.
He won.
“How’s that?”
I groaned, my eyes rolling backwards as his fingers were already doing magical things. “You’re the alien god.”
“Damn straight I’m the alien god.”
Then, he really got busy, and I ceased being able to think or talk for the next hour.
50
Cheyenne
I wasn’t nervous.
I was nervous.
Not freaking out.
I was freaking out.
Okay…on the outside, I looked calm and chill. I was too-cool Cheyenne again.
My insides: I’m the Home Alone dude running around with his arms in the air.
Cut had dropped me off at Come Our Way since he was heading in a little earlier to the rink. Reba lived only a block away, so she said she’d drive my car back for me. And once she came in, we had no time to talk. Dean insisted on a staff meeting. I was guessing my veiled threat filtered through because he made sure we were all okay with what would be happening that day.
Basically, we needed to get everyone cleared out an entire hour earlier, which was going to piss off the regular guys. This was a whole hour argument between Dean and everyone. Everyone included myself, Reba, and Boomer. Gail was rumored to be coming in, too, and when he heard that, Dean backed down. He was scared of Gail, but it wouldn’t push into the time when people would be arriving.
It’s clearly on the invite that people can start arriving at six, but no one arrives to an event at six in the evening. Reba promised that she’d have the volunteers start cleaning the room, but no one would be pushed out an hour earlier.
After that, Dean had catering coming in, and they’d start setting up around six thirty. Boomer was asked to have appetizers on hand to cover those thirty minutes, which Boomer said was fine.
The meeting was ended with Dean asking, “Anything else?”
I felt Reba and Boomer’s gaze on me, and I felt them because I was firmly looking down at my phone. No. Dean didn’t need to know about Cut, about Deek, about Chad (if he showed or not), or— Wait, I had something.
“Yes.”
Dean turned to me, his irritation clear. I’d been pushing back on a whole ton more than I usually did. “Yes, Cheyenne?”
“Sasha and Melanie are coming.”
“They’re not—”
“They’re coming.” No arguments, dickhead.
He heard the unspoken message from my tone and said, “They’re coming, I guess. Anyone else?”
I was back to my own internal monologue. Dean didn’t need to know about Natalie, or Hunter, or… I was running out of anyone else I personally knew who could be coming that Dean didn’t need to know about.
“We’re good to get back to our regular jobs now?”
Reba was the best at sarcasm. She even had a head tilt, and her eyes were bulging out with that comment.
Dean read the room and glowered back at us. “This is for Come Our Way. The funding we can get from tonight could finance us for another five years. I’m not doing this as a personal—”
“Bullshit.”
That was Boomer, and Reba and I were suddenly more interested in the conversation.
He added, “You’re doing this because you want to rub elbows with the high and mighty from the city. Come Our Way has never done it this way before. We’ve never needed to do that, and we’re your excuse, so don’t lie to us. Lie to yourself, fine, but not us.” And with that, Boomer stood up and left the building.
He didn’t actually leave the building.
I was being dramatic. He only went to the kitchen.
Reba and I shared a look before we both scrambled, not wanting to be around for the aftershocks. We’d gone three steps before Dean’s door was slammed shut.
Reba followed me into my office, dropping into one of my chairs as I went to close the door. “How you doing, c
hickadee?”
Chickadee. I liked that term, and I shrugged, booting up my computer. “I’m good.”
“You know what I’m talking about?”
I looked up, locking eyes with her. Yep, she knew.
I sat back with a soft sigh. “He was pretty great yesterday, wasn’t he?”
“I’d say so.” Her eyebrows were up, and she was giving the look of all looks. “Dean was stumbling over himself trying to impress your guy, but he only had eyes for you. Could tell he cares about you, a whole lot.”
“You could?”
Warmth started spreading through me.
“Sure could.” Her eyes narrowed and her head moved back a little. “Why am I getting a feeling like you’re not believing me?”
I shrugged, reaching forward for some paperwork. I didn’t want to have this conversation, and especially not with Reba. She’d be the Boomer to my Dean. “It’s just new and…”
“And what?”
“Nothing. It’s just new. That’s all.”
Her mouth pressed together, hard. Disapproving lines curved down around her lips. “My Mama Alert is blaring loud right now. What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Child.”
I laughed. “I’m not far from thirty.”
“Come on, tell me what’s going on with you.”
“It’s nothing. I’m just…” My throat swelled. This was an old conversation by now. I was even tired of thinking about it. “It’s just insecurities. That’s all, and they’re dumb.”
“Honey.” Her tone was soft, but also knowing. She leaned forward. “Insecurities are never dumb. Everyone has insecurities, but not believing something or not letting yourself live your fullest life because of them is what is dumb. That guy I saw here yesterday cares a lot about you. Whatever your insecurities are, you don’t need to be listening to them. Got it? He’s a big-time athlete, but you’d never know unless you were told. You feel me on that? He’s a good guy and he’s smart, and he took one look at Dean, and I knew he had him figured out right away. I was impressed with him and the other cutie patootie. I might need to get me some hockey tickets, maybe when my girl comes back for a visit.” She sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t express it enough, but I look at you like a daughter. If you were my own daughter, I’d do nothing different.”
My throat swelled up.
I…never had that before.
“Now.” She stood up, coming around to me behind the desk. She took my face in her hands and gave me a big smacking kiss on the top of my head. “I was a bit more distracted by the delicious yumminess that had been here yesterday. You’re not the only one who’s got work to catch up on. I’ll see you later on?” She squeezed my shoulder lightly, giving a soft smile before she headed to the door. Her hand on the knob and she looked back at me. “You going to handle tonight okay?”
No.
I nodded. “I’ll be fine. Dean’s handling everything, so I’m not even really needed.”
“He might ask you to speak.”
I shook my head. “He won’t. This is his shining moment tonight.”
She snorted. “I guess. He might be an annoying, ambitious idiot, but he’s our annoying idiot. Right?”
I laughed. “Right.”
Me: I need reinforcements tonight.
Melanie: I’m in!
Melanie: What are we doing?
Sasha: Question, should I bring some of the girls with? Juna mentioned wanting to go for a drink.
Me: The charity gala is tonight at Come Our Way. You guys are my dates.
Sasha: Is that a no on Juna and the other girls, or a hell yes?
Melanie: I say hell yes, but I’m not the one calling for reinforcements.
Me: As much I’d love to say yes, I’m thinking no for tonight’s event.
Sasha: Cool.
Sasha: In.
Melanie: Ooh! Let’s arrive in style, in Matilda.
Me: Doors are opening at six, so come whenever.
Sasha: Time?
Melanie: Are you staying there, or leaving to get dressed?
Me: I hadn’t even thought about that.
Melanie: Can you step out for an hour? We can meet at your place and finish getting ready? Go together.
Me: That’s a plan. Meet at my place at 5?
Sasha: Cool.
Melanie: Fuck yeah.
I loved my family.
I was just starting to head out, grabbing my purse and shutting my computer down, when there was a knock on my office door.
“Yeah?”
The door opened, and one of the volunteers poked their head inside. “A lady is here asking to see you.”
“You know who?”
“She said her name was Natalie? She’s rich, that’s all I can tell you about her.”
Natalie?
But I nodded to the volunteer. “Yeah. Bring her in.”
They nodded, starting to leave.
“Hey.”
They poked their head back in.
I added, “Don’t let Dean see her.”
Another nod, and they were gone.
I checked my email quick, looking to see if Hunter had emailed me about anything with Natalie, but no. Our last emails were a running joke about a quokka. We’d moved on from koalas long ago. Now it was pretty much constant smiling quokka memes back and forth. So I had no idea why Natalie would be coming early, and why she’d ask to see me.
The door opened and there she was.
“Hello, Cheyenne.”
She looked different. I skimmed over her cardigan sweater, and she was wearing khaki pants, the kind that someone might wear playing golf, but she looked like she was glowing. More natural. Less makeup.
Her brown hair looked lighter, too, but her eyes were Hunter’s. Dark almond with specks of hazel and gold in them.
I felt a little kick because this was Hunter’s mother, and once upon a time, she hugged me and I felt nice afterwards. That’d been something that I hadn’t known I was missing until that hug from her. Donna never hugged me.
“You look younger than you did back then.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widened and her hand went to her chest. She’d been holding a small clutch in front of her, then she nodded to my office. “May I come in?”
“Yes.” I indicated one of the chairs. “Please.”
She gave me a small smile, one that seemed genuine, and I was having flashbacks to my mom’s funeral. That’d been the last time I saw Natalie, and she’d been so nice to me on that day.
“Thank you, and thank you for the compliment. That’s very kind of you.” She shut the door behind her, then sat into the chair with grace.
I almost laughed because no one sat down in those chairs with grace.
They plopped. They collapsed. They sank into them, but no one sat down as if they were easing into a tub of boiling or freezing water. And clutching a clutch in their lap as they did so, but this was a reminder of the world that I’d never been a part of, and a world that was coming here tonight.
“You must be wondering why I came to talk to you?”
“Kinda, but to be honest, I’ve already run through twenty different scenarios, and I’m noticing the different textures of your sweater. I could tell you how many steps you took to sit down, and how many steps it probably took you from the door and through the cafeteria room to here. Not to mention, all the smells and all the different voices I heard when the door opened for you.”
“I see.” A soft laugh. “So the same Cheyenne?”
“Hardly.” Because I was able to mute those thoughts and push them to the back, so they weren’t front and center. That’s not how I had been back then. “Is Hunter okay?”
She’d been tucking a strand of hair behind her ear at my question and she froze, her eyes latching onto mine. “Of course. Why wouldn’t he be?”
“Because he’s the only connection between you and me, and I figured I should ask to rule out that he’s fine so I’m not worrying ab
out him until you do tell me why you came here early to talk to me.”
“Oh.” Another soft smile as she stared at her lap where she was resting the clutch. “I wanted to talk to you because my husband and I are coming tonight. I thought I might run into you, and I didn’t want any social awkwardness at all.”
“Right.” The thoughts were pushing at me, pushing to come forward. I knew that was because of Natalie’s presence. “Well, it was lovely to see you. I promise not to be awkward tonight at the event.”
“I—” Another frown appeared, this one creasing her forehead. “No. That’s not— I’m sorry. I’m not explaining myself at all, and I should just say it, right? Yes. I should.” Determination fared over her features, smoothing out the frown, making her eyes shine bright. “I came to apologize for how I treated you.”
She was struggling, closing her eyes and she let out a breath of air.
“I…” She choked off and had to cough. “Jon’s a good guy. He’s my new husband. I’m saying this to explain that being with him has made me a good woman, or a better woman. A better person. I—I wasn’t when I was with Deek. I’m sorry, but I’m imagining that if something happened to me, and Hunter had to go into someone else’s house and if he was treated how you were treated, I’d be heartbroken. Because of how I treated you.” She paused, her throat moving to swallow. “The person I am now looks back at the person I was then, at the mom I was then and I’m sorry.”
“That would never happen. About Hunter.” I didn’t want to talk about me, or Jon, or Deek. I didn’t care about any of that.
“I know. I’m just saying—”
I waved that off. “No, I mean that would never happen. Hunter’s adorable. And he’d be coming from a rich household. He’s an athlete. He’s good-looking. He has great social skills.”
She frowned. “Have you seen Hunter recently?”
“Social media. He hasn’t blocked me yet. Please don’t block me.”
She lowered her head, looking to the side before raising it back up. “You saw him at the hockey game.”
My breath hitched. “He told you?”
“He did, and I know that you two email each other. He let me know a long time ago, and that’s another thing I am apologizing for. I should’ve orchestrated more communication between you and your brother, and I didn’t. I did nothing. My husband,” She had to stop again, looking down at her clutch before sniffing and raising her gaze to mine. She wasn’t hiding the regret. It was bright and shining right on the edge. “He was worried for me. He wanted to reassure me, so he did it the way his world does these things. I didn’t realize the magnitude of my silence about you until he handed me a file the other day. He knew that Hunter saw you at the hockey game. Hunter talked about it at great lengths with both of us because he was upset with how Chad and Deek both acted toward you. He went so far as to say that if attitudes didn’t change, he’d not be seeing his half-brother or his father ever again. It was then that I realized that I was partially responsible for this.”