by A. R. Cook
Desert Rain’s ears drooped a little. She thought of what Chiriku told her. “Can I check that shelf over there?” she asked, pointing to the one Chiriku indicated.
“Help yourself.” Hib plopped back down in his chair, pulling a parchment out from a drawer in his desk and looking it over.
Desert Rain looked along the shelf at all the little green and pink orbs. She noticed another orb too, an irregularly large one peeking out of a magenta pouch. She picked it up, noting the indecipherable mark cut into its face. The orb was clear, and in its center swam a whole mess of tiny black memories. Desert Rain took it out of the bag.
Without even closing her eyes, she felt a throbbing pain between her eyes and was suddenly enveloped violently by contorted visions and howls of pain so vibrant that they stung
her whole body. But it was not a simple image flashing before her; she was in the very midst of it all. She found herself entwined with chains with links as large as fists. They bared no weight for her, since this was a memory and not reality, but she couldn’t move, held in place by the chains. She was kneeling immobile on a blackened marble floor while grotesque-faced fiends screamed from above, roaring words of venom she could not hear. Her body was pulled back, as if someone has yanked at her flesh. She looked behind herself at an iron-clad, spiraled-horned gargantuan, who had ripped her back with a rusty spear. Blood seeped from her body, and although she felt no pain her face was stricken with agony and fright. She looked down into the pool of blood forming at her feet. It was not her own reflection she met, but the shadowed face of a creature whose name instantly sprang to mind…
Numerous gnarled hands grabbed her by the throat and chains, dragging her towards a flaring open-mouthed hell furnace. As the blood-red pyre was about to swallow her, she dropped the orb to the floor. She was back in the memory shop, shaking from head to toe.
“Be careful with those!” Hib got up and hobbled over, but halted suddenly upon seeing the large orb. “Oh, I see. I was wondering where Chiriku put that one. You don’t want to be looking at this. It’s more of a collector’s item. Not for gazing.”
“Who…who gave that to you?” Desert Rain stammered.
“Eh, some bearded fellow in a cloak. Don’t know how he got it, but he said this was taken from a Wretched. Not a smart thing to put in your head, but worth a fortune for what it is.”
“A Wretched memory? Is that a fact?” the Falcolin asked in interest.
Desert Rain stared warily at the orb. “Ayu…”
“What?” Hib grabbed the orb away from her and quickly dropped it back into its bag. “You’re a bizarre one, you are. Most people can’t look at a whole slew of memories at once without getting a headache.”
“Now that’s something I don’t have in my collection at home,” the Falcolin said, taking a pouch of coins from a pocket inside his coat. “Would make an interesting conversation piece. How much for it?”
“Please, may I buy it?” Desert Rain pleaded. “I know whose memories…” She stopped herself. “I need that.”
“Like I said, this one’s worth a fortune,” Hib said. “I was thinking about saving this one for the auction house. Some mighty wealthy people would be fighting over this one.”
“You know I’m good for it,” the Falcolin said, pouring a handful of gold and sapphire disks into his hand. “I can pay you any price you want.”
“Please, Mr. Hibbeltom,” Desert Rain said as she began to empty her pockets of all her rings and beads. “I’ll give you everything I have for that.”
The Falcolin frowned. “Don’t be stupid, old man. You know I can pay as much as anyone,
and certainly a hundred times more than this…this beggar!”
“Maybe I can settle the matter,” came a voice at the doorway. A masked Knight stood there, holding a leather pouch in his hand.
“S—Swordmaster Skyhan!” Hibbletom shoved the Falcolin aside, bowing to the Knight. “It is an honor to have you in my shop. Please, what may someone as humble as myself do to help you?”
“Allow me to purchase the orb in question,” Skyhan replied. “I think you’ll find this more than suitable payment.”
He tossed Hibbletom the pouch, and the old man to his glee found it full of assorted gems and diamonds, fairly large ones. The Falcolin, on a normal occasion, would have put up an argument, but he knew the leader of the Knighthood could have gotten that orb for free if he had asked. So instead he stormed out of the shop.
“This is most generous of you,” Hibbletom said in a sweet tone. He handed Skyhan the magenta pouch. “Enjoy.”
Without even looking over the item he had purchased, Swordmaster Skyhan walked over to Desert Rain and placed it in her hand. “In return for the generosity you bestowed on me,” he explained.
Desert Rain felt her face flush. She formed a small smile, and stared down at her feet.
Hibbletom cocked an eyebrow. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”
“Miss Rain?” Skyhan asked when Desert Rain did not say anything.
“Hmm? Oh, no, that will do. Oh, wait one moment.” Desert Rain took a quick walk to the back room, where Chiriku was still stamping papers.
“What now?” the Quetzalin huffed.
“I wanted to thank you for the advice. It led me to something very important.”
Chiriku for the first time made a wry smile. “That’s why they have me working here. The old grouch says I have a talent for knowing what people want. And from how you look, I figured you go for something really freaky. Someone had to get that disgusting demon orb out of here.”
Desert Rain grinned at the snide comment, and then left Chiriku to her work. Before she and Skyhan left the shop, she turned to Hibbletom and said, “You have a very nice granddaughter.”
Hibbletom was flabbergasted for a few minutes after Desert Rain and Skyhan had departed. He was not sure which was more surprising: that the girl knew Chiriku was his granddaughter, or that she had called her “nice.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
A Talk with the Swordmaster
“I saw you walking around the square earlier,” Skyhan replied to Desert Rain’s question about how he had found her. “I saw you talking to the boy who led you to the memory shop. When he left you in there alone, I thought I might wait outside for you. I heard you arguing with the Falcolin. I hope that I wasn’t imposing where I shouldn’t have.”
“No, you came at the right time.” Desert Rain kept her eyes to the ground as they walked. She noticed how the crowd parted and quieted some as she and the Swordmaster walked by.
“May I ask what you want that memory for?” Skyhan asked.
“Oh…” Desert Rain paused, and did not get enough time to reply before Skyhan spoke again.
“It’s for your ‘burrowmate,’ isn’t it?” There was a tint of intensity in his voice.
Desert Rain spent a good deal of time trying to formulate a good answer, but in the end said nothing. She shoved the orb into one of her pockets.
“He has no memories of what happened to him before he came to you, does he?” the Knight asked.
Desert Rain shook her head.
“So what you have there will be a substitute?”
Desert Rain was silent. How she wished she could be honest and say, no, these are Ayu’s actual memories! But then Skyhan would wish to see what they were, and he would definitely confiscate them. It was the most difficult thing in all of Luuva Gros to lie to Skyhan. She could not help her ears from twitching twice, but thankfully they were hidden beneath the shawl.
“I warn you, Desert Rain, and I warn you with the utmost seriousness,” Skyhan continued. “Even memories that are not his own could be dangerous. Perhaps you have found memories of a blissful past, thoughts that are not fully bent on bloodshed. But even one shred of malevolence in those memories could put you in mortal danger. Perhaps it is better if he has no memories. Maybe this way, he can lead a new life of honor and goodness. I know your influence could make that possible, eve
n for a creature such as him.”
Desert Rain nodded, although her thoughts were tumultuous. It seemed cruel to keep Ayu’s memories from him, for it should be his decision whether he wanted to relive his painful
past or not. Then again, Skyhan did have a point. Such agony as what she had witnessed could cause more harm than good.
“Hello-o-o-o-o!” a pleasant voice shouted to them from across the way. Clova Flor was standing by a flower cart, enlivening the colors of the vendor’s lilies, and she scuttled over to the pair. “Swordmaster Skyhan, so wonderful to see you here. I was starting to miss you, you being away in the Inbetween so much. And Dezzy! My goodness, and I thought seeing you in Ulomin was uncommon.” Clova gave the two a sly smile. “So, what’re you two talking about?”
“Nothing much,” Desert Rain quickly answered.
“It’s always a pleasure to see you, Clova Flor,” Skyhan said, taking her hand and kissing it. Desert Rain’s ears shivered in quiet jealousy.
Clova must have sensed Desert Rain’s mood, for she withdrew her hand and gave her friend a warm smile. “It’s so nice how all my friends are here in Syphurius on this gorgeous day. But I supposed all roads lead to Syphurius eventually. We should have a picnic. We could find a nice place in the park, order off the delicatessen cart—“
“As much as that would please me, I unfortunately must be on my way.” Swordmaster Skyhan made a small bow to each lady. “Miss Clova, Miss Rain…and Miss Rain, please take to heart what I’ve said.” He then walked off into the crowd, creating a wave of parting people as he went.
“So, what did he say?” Clova took Desert Rain by the shoulder and shook her excitedly. “Let it out, sweetie!”
“He didn’t say anything,” Desert Rain said, shaking her head.
“He must’ve said something. You two were chatting away. Did he compliment you? Did he tell you a secret? Did he… propose?” The last word came out more high-pitched, and Clova’s smile seemed unusually forced.
Desert Rain tried to laugh off Clova’s questions. “Clova, not every conversation has to be about romance. I barely know the man. Besides, he’s a Knight. He’s married to the Knighthood, and to battle.”
“That doesn’t mean he can’t fall for someone, and he certainly seemed very taken with you just now.” Clova sighed. “You two would have such wonderfully sweet children.”
Desert Rain almost choked at the comment. “Clova!”
“I’m teasing. Come on, Dezzy. You and I can have a picnic.”
“I would, but I really should be heading home. I need to get my Laspher from the public stables. I don’t want him waiting too long.”
“What’s the rush? You can stay for lunch, right? I never get to have time with you, Dezzy. The Banishing Festival and your home don’t count. We barely spent time together at all!”
Desert Rain relented, and sat down to lunch with Clova in the park. Clova talked nonstop,
but at least this allowed Desert Rain to listen and eat her slice of raspberry cake. After lunch, Clova had the food cart man pack some food for Desert Rain for the trip home, and Desert Rain parted from Clova with a thank you. She took the walk back to the local stables, which were full of animal mounts of all kinds. She retrieved her Laspher and started the journey home.
The ride back was untroubled, serene except for one dust storm she had to struggle through on the rocky pass. She was relieved to reach the sand dunes, knowing she was back in open spaces and away from the noisy public. It was nighttime on her fifth day of being away from home that she removed her ring from the Laspher’s antler and sent it on its way, dragged her tired feet down the front steps and into the comfort of her burrow.
Ayu was waiting for her in the kitchen. As soon as she entered the room, he greeted her with welcoming moans. He nudged her arms with his nose, sniffing her wildly. He must have smelled all the different scents she had brought with her from the city.
“It’s nice to see you too. I hope you found enough to eat while I was gone.”
He moaned at her questioningly.
She paused, her hand starting to slip towards her pouches. She froze. She took in a deep breath, answering, “I’m sorry, Ayu, but they didn’t have what we were looking for. They had a few spellcaster memories, but none that we needed. And I couldn’t find any books about skin-molding either. I’m so sorry.”
Ayu lowered his head, grunted something sad, and then curled up on the floor sluggishly. Desert Rain patted his shoulder, feeling ripped down the middle. She hadn’t truly lied – she hadn’t found out anything about skin-molding – but withholding the memory orb felt even worse than lying. She knew she should show him what she found, but she liked how things were. She knew his memories would change everything. As Swordmaster Skyhan had said, she could help him lead a decent life, and this might be the best way to do it. If she changed her mind, she would still have his memories. Now was not the right time. She had to make sure that even in a fully healed state, Ayu would not show signs of being cruel or barbaric. He had to be purely good before she could show him the truth.
So after Ayu went off to bed, Desert Rain went to her room and put the orb in a spot under her bed of cushions. She lied down to sleep, but she could not ignore the lump beneath her. The next day she hid the orb in a random gold box in one of the artifact rooms, hoping the clutter would bury the secret for as long as she wished.
CHAPTER EIGHT
The Secret Revealed
A few weeks passed before Desert Rain discovered the consequence of her decision.
It was evening, and Desert Rain had returned home after scouting out a couple of jackrabbits for Ayu’s dinner. She never ate meat, but Ayu would not touch her insect entrees. To her surprise, Ayu was not waiting for her in the kitchen. He must have gone to the oasis again. She went about skinning her rabbits, with much chagrin, and roasting them over the kitchen fire pit, when the hulking shape of the Wretched appeared in the doorway.
“Hi there. You’re just in time. Dinner will be done in about—“
She became paralyzed when Ayu extended his hand and opened it, revealing the magenta bag with the orb. He must have sniffed it out, or he had been playing with some of the artifacts and stumbled onto the gold box where she had hid it. He whimpered something, perplexity in his eyes.
“Oh…” Desert Rain decided to play innocent, since it looked like Ayu had no idea what he was holding. “What did you find there?”
Ayu whimpered again, rubbing his head with his other hand.
“Are you feeling all right?” She saw that Ayu was associating the orb to the pain in his head. She walked over to him and gently removed the bag from his hand. “Did the thing in the bag hurt you? Then maybe we should put this back where you found it.”
Ayu grunted, pointing at the bag.
Desert Rain clutched the bag in her hands, averting Ayu’s eyes. She had understood his question, and knew that a simple lie could have satisfied him. But it was hard for her to lie, especially to him. “It came from…Syphurius.”
Ayu paused, and then grunted something else.
“Yes…these are memories.”
Ayu flared his nostrils, not in anger but in confusion. He pointed to himself.
Desert Rain sighed, wanting to avoid this conversation, but it was too late now. “I did buy them for you, but I saw what was in the orb too. I wouldn’t have bought such horrible thoughts, but…at the time, I thought I had to.”
Ayu shrugged, his way of asking, Why?
“Because…” Desert Rain bit her lip. “These are your memories. The person who stole them
from you sold them to that shop.”
Ayu stared at her with deadly silence for an uncomfortably long time. Desert Rain fished for something else to say, but then his eyes narrowed sharply on her, his lips parting to bear flesh-ripping teeth. A growl erupted from his throat, soft yet menacing.
Desert Rain steadied herself, saying in as gentle a tone as she could, “But you can see why I felt
the need to hide them from you. I didn’t want you to…” She swallowed hard, mostly to stall. “I didn’t want you to remember that pain.”
He continued to stare, teeth bared.
“Ayu, I didn’t want things to change. I knew as soon as you had those memories back, you would…”
She could not continue. It did not seem to matter what she said. He approached closer, every plodding step filling Desert Rain with dread. She recoiled from him, backing into a wall. She pointed to the fire, where the rabbits hung from the spit. “Maybe we could talk some more after I finish dinner.”
With a flick from one of his tails, Ayu sent the spit flying across the room and smashing into pieces against the wall. His eyes did not shift away from her. Desert Rain felt like she had gone back in time to the moment she first met Ayu, the terror of his unpredictable nature making her shiver. She let out a scream as Ayu’s fist rammed into the wall right above her head, causing a web of cracks to riddle the stone.
She tried her best to compose herself before looking back up into those raging demon eyes. “All you’ve done is taken a glance at those memories, and look what they’ve done to you!
Imagine what you’ll become if you absorb them.”
At this, Ayu paused. His features drooped. He lowered his fist, and moaned bitterly. He looked at Desert Rain, and slowly brought up his hand to hold hers. His grasp was gentle, as if holding a fledgling bird.
She sighed, and placed her free hand tenderly on his face. “Ayu, this is your decision now. You have seen what sort of pain you will endure if you absorb those memories. But you have your past in your hands. If this is a past you want ingrained in you, then all you do is hold it to your forehead and concentrate. The memories will meld into you until the orb is empty. Or you could choose not to have those memories, and start a new life, a new set of memories, here with me. You don’t have to know the pain. Your life can begin here, and I’ll make sure you’re never hurt again. It’s your choice.” She gingerly placed the magenta bag into his hand.