She felt the tremendous warmth of his care, his love. “Okay,” she began hesitantly, “there’s only one way I’ll allow you to be there, to be with me.”
“Tell me.”
“I can put you in the circle. There’s protection there. The entity will know as I lay down the sacred cornmeal that he can’t attack us if we’re in that circle.”
“But it’s not guaranteed?”
“Yes, it will be. I just don’t want him to attack me before I’m prepared for him.” She gave him a searching look. “Mac, you’ve got to realize that if you move, if you sneeze, cough or do anything, it can throw off my concentration, my focus.”
“I won’t move,” he promised her thickly. “I would never put you in danger, Ellie.”
“Not willingly,” she conceded softly, “but you’re a human being. What if you suddenly have to sneeze?”
“Listen to me,” he said, gripping her shoulders and giving her a small shake, “I’m a fighter pilot. When my adrenaline is flowing, I have control over my physical body. When I’m scared, Ellie, my body doesn’t betray me. I’m scared for you. I’m scared to death, if you want the truth, but I’m not going to put you in danger. Do you understand?”
She did. “I’m scared, too, Mac. Scared for both of us. I’ve never had to resort to a pipe-release ceremony to get a spirit to move on. A journey has always been enough.”
“Not this time.” Mac met her sad eyes. “And you’re not doing this alone, Ellie.”
“Okay…” she whispered defeatedly, though she hated the idea. Mac was simply not prepared for this entity.
Releasing her, Mac took her hand. “I’m worried about your energy. Do you feel up to this tonight, Ellie?”
She didn’t, but she also knew that he would be forced to allow his people back into that hangar sooner or later. She had to attempt the release as soon as possible, for everyone’s safety.
“I’m up to it,” she lied.
Unconvinced, Mac studied her in the ensuing silence. “My gut tells me you aren’t sure.”
Forcing a smile for his benefit, Ellie said, “I’ll rest up today in preparation for the ceremony tonight.”
“Do you want me to stay?”
A huge part of her did, but Mac was a distraction to her heart, and right now, Ellie had to become very still and balanced within herself. “You can go home. If you want, we can have dinner together tonight.”
Hope sprang strongly in him. “How about if I make one of my ten recipes? I’ll come over with dinner.”
“That sounds wonderful.” And it did.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Ellie tried to calm herself on the way over to the hangar. It was nearly three a.m. The stars in the sky were bright and sparkling, the darkness of the desert bringing out their beauty. Mac drove in silence, his eyes on the road ahead that would take them to the air force base. Ordinarily, Ellie would be swayed by the beauty of the starry night, invigorated by the coolness after the hundred-degree heat of the day, but not tonight.
She wiped her damp palms on her thighs. Her mind was focused on the ceremony she would perform; to miss one facet of it, or to perform it out of order, could place her and Mac in terrible jeopardy. Part of their safety net was the ceremony itself. Her fear of making some mistake filled her body with tension.
The lights of the guard gate appeared, and Ellie blinked. Her heart began to beat faster. Would the entity attack them as they walked into the hangar? If it did, Ellie knew it would be a life-and-death struggle. She prayed that the spirit would wait until she was ready to face him.
Mac parked the car outside Hangar 13 and turned to Ellie. The serious look in her eyes, the grim set of her mouth told him just how dangerous this was going to be.
“If someone had told me a couple of months ago that I’d be working with a shamaness and battling a spirit, I’d have laughed my head off.” He reached over and captured one of Ellie’s hands. He felt the tension in her and tried to smile. “But I’m not laughing now.”
“Because you’ve had enough proof, Mac, to know that it’s as real as you and I.”
He nodded and held her worried gaze. “I’d never have believed it,” he agreed. “How are you feeling?”
“Scared to death.”
“A healthy response.”
“I think so.”
“It reminds me of going into combat, only this time the enemy is a spirit, not a pilot.”
Ellie squeezed his hand. How badly she wanted her life to continue after this night, after this ceremony. But would it? “Mac, I have a request of you,” she began hesitantly.
“Sure. What is it?”
Looking away, she stared at the large hangar. “If, by some chance, I’m hurt, or something happens, will you call my mother?” She dug a piece of paper from the pocket of her white cotton skirt. When she handed it to him, she saw his eyes go wide with surprise—and fear. “I—I don’t think anything will happen to me, Mac, but just in case. Please?”
He took the carefully folded paper. “Call your mother?” he croaked.
“Yes. I talked to her this afternoon, before you came over with dinner, and I told her what was going on. She agreed with me that the entity is too powerful for me to deal with in normal shamanistic ways, and that the releasing ceremony is the only hope we have of getting it to go on its way and leave people alone.”
He stared at the paper. “I see.”
“No, I don’t think you do. Mom will be praying for me, as will my sister, Diana. Prayer is very powerful, Mac. Much more so than most people give it credit for. It doesn’t matter whether you’re praying to Buddha, God or the Great Spirit—the prayers are heard.
“If—if something goes wrong, if I make a mistake during the ceremony, I want you to realize that the entity will probably attack me. He can’t attack as long as I am in the stream of energy flowing through that open door from the other dimensions. But if I miss something by accident, then I’m wide open.”
Mac nodded. “I see.”
“This time,” she whispered, her voice husky with emotion, “I may not come out of it, Mac. I told my mother everything, and she agreed that I need to get rid of this entity now, before it becomes even more powerful and starts attacking people outside the hangar. I…it’s my battle, my problem. They will pray for me, and that is protection in and of itself.”
Mac felt her terror, and it shook him as nothing else could. Putting the paper in his shirt pocket, he placed his hands on her shoulders. “Ellie, we’re going to get through this together. We’re both going to be safe. Do you understand that? You’re not going to mess up on this ceremony.” He stared into her shadowed eyes. “I know you’re scared. So am I. We’ll be scared together.”
His hands tightened on her shoulders. “Sweetheart, I want the rest of my lifetime to get to know you. I’ll be damned if some entity is going to stop my dream by hurting you. I know I’m new to this world of yours, but I’ve got faith. Faith in you, in the process. You come from a family who have their hearts in the right place—you have a strong heritage to back up your skills. Most of all, you have the courage and the spirit to get this done.”
She sighed. “My mother told me this afternoon that it was a test.”
“A test?” Mac snorted. “What is this? Some kind of game?”
“No,” Ellie said quickly, “it’s never a game, Mac. But people who work in this are tested from time to time. It’s not a bad thing. You get tested, don’t you, as a pilot?”
Grudgingly, Mac nodded. “Yes.”
“And sometimes those tests are life-and-death situations, aren’t they?”
“Sometimes,” he answered heavily.
“My world is no different than yours, Mac. Instead of an enemy pilot who can fire rockets at me, I have to face an entity that has too much power for its own good. I’m charged with trying to protect the innocent people who may be harmed by him, just as you are charged with protecting civilians from that enemy pilot.”
Mac saw the w
isdom of her example. “It’s just that the enemy aircraft is real, Ellie. I can lock on target and shoot him out of the sky.” He glanced at the hangar and back at her. “You can’t fight this entity the same way.”
“No, we fight it with love, Mac. I have to have enough faith and trust in the Great Spirit and open my heart fully to this malevolent entity. In that way, we are different. There is no love involved when you fire on an enemy aircraft.”
“How can you love that thing?”
She smiled a little. “The Red Road, our way of life as Native Americans, has taught us to speak from our heart at all times, Mac. I’m not saying we always do it, but we’re taught to try, and that is what counts.” She gestured to the hangar. “I have great compassion for that entity. He is trapped, he is enraged and he is in great pain.”
“And he could kill you.”
“Yes. But I’m betting that my love for him is greater than his hatred for me. If I can maintain that openness, Mac, if I can trust fully and completely in the ceremony, then the love will release him.” She smiled softly. “Love is like sunlight—it’s warm, beautiful, peaceful and freeing.”
Reaching over, Mac touched the slope of her cheek. “That’s what you are to me, Ellie,” he whispered roughly. “All those things.”
Feeling heat move into her face, she lowered her lashes. Her cheek tingled beneath his touch, and she wanted to lean forward and kiss Mac. But now was not the time or place. She had to keep her focus on the entity, on the final battle to come.
“What we share,” she said, “is new and beautiful.”
“Something I want to keep, Ellie. Something I want to explore with you.” Mac wanted to add forever, but held back the word. “And we will,” he said urgently.
Placing her hand on the car door, she said, “It’s time, Mac. Let’s walk this together.”
With a nod, he eased out of the car. His wristwatch read exactly three a.m. High tide in the universe. As he carried Ellie’s small suitcase of ceremonial items, he wondered if the higher energy would help get rid of the entity. He felt no love toward it like Ellie did. He wanted it out of the hangar, out of their lives—once and for all. Worry for Ellie seesawed back and forth with his love for her. He felt so damned helpless. There was nothing he could do to help her—or protect her.
At the side door to Hangar 13, Ellie turned to him. She took a necklace she always wore and eased it over her head.
“Here, I want you to wear this, Mac.”
It was a long, silver necklace with a large bear claw suspended from it. “Why?” He lowered his head so she could place it around his neck.
“Because,” Ellie said softly, settling the bear claw against his heart, “it will protect you. It’s bear medicine—one of the most powerful medicines we have to work with.”
“But you need it, don’t you?”
She shrugged. “My mother used to send me on vision quests once a year, Mac. When you go out on a vision quest, you go out into the wilderness with a pipe, a blanket and some water—and that’s it. In the Great Smoky Mountains of our reservation, there’re plenty of black bears. We sit within a sacred circle for up to four days, singing, praying and sleeping. In those years many wild and even dangerous animals came up to me. But they never stepped within the sacred circle of my vision quest. The circle I will create here will do the same thing for both of us. The bear claw is added protection for you.”
Ellie entered the hangar then, allowing him no further argument. The gloom in the hangar was pervasive. Mac quietly shut the door and then locked it. Setting Ellie’s suitcase down, he turned and watched her.
Ellie’s hair felt as if it stood on end. Even now she could feel the presence of the entity, its agitation that they were once again in his hangar. Her heart was pounding hard, almost like a drum in her breast.
“He’s agitated,” Ellie said softly, keeping her gaze on the opposite corner.
“What do you want me to do?”
Ellie loved Mac fiercely in that moment. He could have said or done many things, but he hadn’t; he’d deferred to her needs. “Slowly open the suitcase for me.”
Mac quietly set the piece of luggage on its side. He had no idea what was in the case. As he eased the lid upward, he could feel the threat in the hangar. His gut tightened automatically, a sick sense of dread filling him. If he felt this, what must Ellie be feeling?
Concentrate. The word poured through Ellie. She felt a new kind of energy moving through the top of her head, flowing downward through her. It was a powerful energy and it wasn’t her own. Grateful that the Great Spirit was helping her, she knew she had to perform her end of the duties. She crouched down over the suitcase, pulling out a deerskin bag filled with the cornmeal that was sacred to her people. It would form the physical circle, the circle that would protect them.
She felt the entity probing, wondering what she was doing. She felt its curiosity, and its fear. Keeping her heart open, feeling compassion for it, Ellie lifted the elk-skin pipe bag onto the crook of her left arm, and cradled it as if it were a much-loved child. It was that and much more. Next came a black pottery bowl and the sacred sage. With all her supplies gathered, she rose.
Without a word, Ellie moved into the gloom, near the center of the hangar. She wore moccasins, so she made no sound. Mac walked behind her, knowing that he must be silent as well. Ellie had warned him to always remain behind her. What she didn’t tell him was why—so that if the entity attacked, it would have to go through her first in order to get to him.
Ellie placed the articles on the cool concrete floor, with the exception of the deerskin bag containing the cornmeal. She wished she was more clairvoyant, like her mother, who could not only sense, but see into the other realms without going into an altered state. Right now, Ellie knew she was at a great—and dangerous—disadvantage. She wouldn’t really be aware of any charge toward her until it hit her—and then it could be too late.
As Ellie lifted the bag upward, above her head, she spoke a prayer out loud. To say a prayer silently was fine, but during ceremony, it was more powerful to speak the words aloud in the third dimension, for it anchored the energy.
“Great Spirit, I ask your blessing upon this cornmeal, which has given its life so that we may continue to live.” As she held the bag up in the gloom, she felt a tingling sensation begin in her fingers, then quickly spread through the bag, down her arm and through all of her body. Closing her eyes, Ellie gave an internal sigh of gratefulness. She had performed this ceremony many times during the years when she’d lived on the reservation, but she hadn’t done one in the last seven years, since moving to Phoenix. She had been afraid that because she was rusty, it wouldn’t work. Luckily, she was wrong.
As she opened the bag and dug her fingers into the contents, Ellie reminded herself that intention was the key to everything—whether it was a ceremony or something a person wanted out of life. Her intentions were pure, loving, and so the energy was beginning to flow, giving her a sense of protection.
As she took the first granules into her hand, she felt the entity again. Fear clawed at her. Ellie began to sing a ceremonial song, a song of welcoming the Great Spirit to the gathering, and concentrated on sprinkling a fine, thin line of yellow cornmeal on the concrete floor. Her nerves tautened. Once this circle was made, it guaranteed protection.
The entity sensed it. Ellie felt a hot, angry force gathering behind her as she continued to slowly walk and sing. The circle would be about thirty feet in diameter when she was finished. A chill shot down her spine. Her hand wavered momentarily. Dryness invaded her throat. Concentrate! She closed her eyes and sang more strongly, keeping her heart open, her compassion in place. She wanted to hurry the completion of the circle, but knew she didn’t dare. The energy was pouring through her, into the cornmeal, creating the protection. Right now, she was like an open conduit, the energy flowing through her, not from her. In order for the energy to remain in place, to work for all of them, she had to maintain the pace, not let
ting her personal fears interrupt. If they did, Ellie knew she could die—and so might Mac.
Never had she wanted more to live. She dug into the deerskin pouch again, a quarter of the circle completed. There was so far to go! Ellie sang more strongly, centering herself within the beauty of the music, of the words that beseeched the Great Spirit to work with her on behalf of the spirit who was tied to Mother Earth.
She felt the entity stalking her, coming closer and closer. Ellie felt a bitter taste in her mouth. A chill again ran along her spine. He was coming, and the circle wasn’t complete, their protection wasn’t in place. Taking a deep breath, she allowed the energy of the song to flow through her as never before while she continued to sprinkle the cornmeal. Let her get the circle completed. Please, let her get the circle completed. The thought was there, pulling at her concentration. Ellie shook herself mentally. She buried all her fears in the song.
Half the circle was now complete. The entity was coming closer, breathing down the back of her neck, taunting her. He was trying to force her to lose her concentration. Fear made Ellie internalize her focus even more powerfully. She knew that the Great Spirit would help, but it was up to her to carry out her responsibilities. If she faltered, so would the energy from the other dimensions. Too much was at stake. Too much. The thought of Mac galvanized her. She realized that for the first time in her life, she felt truly whole in a beautiful, poignant way.
Her mother had been married to her father for thirty years before he died, and Ellie had seen what a loving marriage could be—if both parties worked at it. She had wanted the same for herself, but after Brian, she had lost hope of ever finding it. Now, Mac had crashed into her life and was offering her another chance. But so much stood in the way….
Ellie froze when she felt a blow on the back of her neck. A coldness spread down her spine. The entity had playfully hit her, with enough force to cause her song to waver. He was playing with her, a cat with a helpless mouse. Well, she wasn’t helpless, and she couldn’t afford to let anger replace her love for the spirit. She brought the song more powerfully to life within her. The spirit was following her, just outside that line of cornmeal. It couldn’t move inside the circle, but it could hang over it, lording over her, teasing her, from just the other side of it.
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