by Odessa Lynne
“We don’t.”
Before Brendan could reply, he had to stifle an unexpected yawn. He covered his mouth with the back of his hand.
“You’re tired. We should go to bed.”
“I’m not that tired,” Brendan said, then added, because the thought had been lodged in his head for the last few minutes, “I’d like to be able to say your name.”
“We have a greater vocal range than you. Don’t worry over it.”
“I’m not worried, I just—I’d like to be able to say it. Especially—” Brendan felt his face heat up. “It’d be nice to be able to say your real name when we fuck, is all.”
“The learning technology we shared with you can’t change the way you vocalize. You’re physically incapable of recreating the sounds necessary for a lot of our words to have meaning. That’s why you can understand us but you can’t actually speak more than a few words in our language. And Trey is a strong enough name.”
“I like Trey.”
Trey started to rise from the table. Brendan scrambled to reach across and grab Trey’s hand. In his hurry, he knocked his bare foot against the leg of his chair. He winced, while a dull throb started up in his ankle.
“Are you anxious to avoid the bed tonight?” Trey said as he retook his seat.
Brendan’s fingers tightened over Trey’s and he looked up into Trey’s eyes. “No, no, that’s not—I just—I still have so many questions.”
Trey’s gaze lingered at Brendan’s mouth. “One more. Then I want to take you to bed and bury my cock inside you. I want you to gasp out my name when you come.”
Trey slid both of his hands along the table top, spreading his fingers wide. The tips of his claws extended just beneath the dark material of his fingernails and Brendan couldn’t take his eyes off the way the claws slowly grew in length. Brendan dragged his finger along the bony ridge of Trey’s knuckles as he pulled his hand back and paused with his fingertip on Trey’s claw.
Trey watched him with eyes that seemed an even brighter green than usual, his expression pensive. “I haven’t stopped thinking about how you smelled when you were riding my cock this morning as we bathed. You have a beautiful ass, Brendan. So hot and tight. You make me want to fight for you, to bend you to my will. Only my care for you keeps me in control of my darkest urges. It’s a quandary. The greater my care for you, the darker my desire, and the darker my desires become the more my care for you controls the instincts that would have you pinned to my bed and submitting to me.”
Brendan licked his lips, and tried not to let the blood go completely to his dick yet. God, maybe he should—but no. Trey had been gone a lot today and Brendan wasn’t sure when he would have another chance to get answers to some of these questions.
Brendan scraped his fingernail along the length of Trey’s claw. His nail skidded along the smooth, hard material like a fingernail on glass.
Trey’s finger curled, almost as if—
“You have feeling in these?”
“Not exactly.” Trey straightened his finger again and let Brendan continue to rub his finger over his claw. “Certain sensations carry through.”
“Do they break?”
“Not often. When they do, the pain is agonizing.”
“Having a fingernail pulled out or ripped off isn’t that great either.”
“This is probably worse.” Trey tapped the table with his claws. “I’ve been told losing one feels like having a finger torn off.”
“Damn,” Brendan said. He pulled his hand away and sat back again.
Trey slowly drew his hands back and then clasped his fingers together loosely. “What’s this last question you have? I’m losing patience with talk. I would rather be fucking you.”
Brendan tried to remember where the conversation had been going. His mind blanked on him for a good few seconds before his thoughts finally veered away from fucking and came together in some semblance of order.
“Why did I betray my friend?”
Trey sighed. “You’ve chosen to ask a very complicated question.”
“I need to know what kind of person I was, and—” And see if he could come up with any kind of explanation for his actions that didn’t make him into the monster he seemed to be. But he couldn’t say that. Trey wouldn’t understand. He would think Brendan was still in denial, and Brendan didn’t want him to think that. “And I just need to know.”
“Telling you these things about yourself—this isn’t necessary. You’ll remember when the time comes.”
“Please.”
Trey’s gaze flickered over Brendan’s face. Brendan didn’t look away.
Trey sighed. “The heat had just passed when we discovered Earth. When we made contact with your people, we had two years before the heat would return. I heard rumblings from my betas—”
Trey must have noticed the furrow already forming between Brendan’s eyebrows.
“They’re my pack leaders, Alphas of the packs, if you understand—”
“You have a lot of words that don’t seem to mean what they should mean—alpha, beta, pack, mate, mine. I could name more. So, no, I don’t really understand.”
“There aren’t any comparable words in any of your human languages, so we translated to the closest that you have. The distinction between the words wasn’t significant enough for us to confuse you with invented words.”
“Significant to you maybe. It’s confusing.”
Trey raised his eyebrows. Brendan scowled and shut his mouth. He was getting tired of that look from Trey. He had a damn good reason to be confused.
“Many of my people had settled in the mountain regions on your continents after we reached an agreement with your Earth governments. My betas began to tell me that many of my people found you humans attractive and the scent of you appealing. Nothing to cause any real concern though. My betas understood their responsibilities. Humans were not to be seen as possible mates for the upcoming heat season. Those that did mate with humans—”
“Wait. I don’t get it. Humans weren’t to be seen as mates, but then you say some of your people mated with humans? Which is it?”
Trey exhaled loud enough for Brendan to pick up on his frustration. “You don’t understand.”
“I told you the differences in those words would turn out to matter.”
“Yes, you did.” Trey unfolded his hands. “The human brain has some limitations that our learning technology can’t—”
“Hey,” Brendan said, “maybe the problem is with your tech, not our brains.”
That look again.
Brendan gritted his teeth, but when that didn’t make him feel any better, he said, “You know what? We were here first and if you can’t communicate with us, I don’t think it’s fair for you to sit there all smug and try to blame that on—”
“I’m not blaming you. Only stating a fact. Your brains aren’t as capable of—”
“It sounded like blame to me. What do you think we are? Stupid? Or—or—that we’re not as good as you? Because that’s bullshit. I might be letting you fuck me, but I don’t for a minute think you’re some kind of goddamned super-species or—”
“Brendan,” Trey said, his hard tone pulling Brendan up short.
Brendan took a harshly indrawn breath and stared across the table at Trey, not really sure how to explain the way he’d latched onto what Trey had said and felt such a deep-seated anger that he’d been unable to control his mouth.
“We’ll finish this talk another time.”
“No,” Brendan objected. “Look, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened but—”
“I’m tired and you’re tired, and it’s time to go to bed. There’s a lot I have to do tomorrow.”
“Come on,” Brendan tried again. “Please.”
Trey pushed back from the table and stood. He held out his hand to Brendan. “Submit,” he said and the look in his eyes told Brendan as clear as words that Trey wouldn’t relent.
“Goddammit. I’m sorry,” he
said again. But he reached out and grasped Trey’s warm hand and pulled himself up.
“Your brain is under a lot of stress while you struggle to cope without your memories. Tomorrow night will be soon enough to take up this conversation again.”
Trey led him toward the bed and stopped when he had Brendan up against the edge of the mattress. Brendan started to reach behind his neck and grab the collar of his shirt, intending to yank it off over his head, but Trey clamped his hand around Brendan’s wrist and lowered his arm. Then Trey reached for the bottom of Brendan’s t-shirt.
“I can—”
“No.”
“Fine. So, uh. Why tomorrow night? Why not earlier?” Brendan asked, having almost forgotten what he was going to say.
“Because we’ll be busy. You, with the move to my actual home, and me with a great many other things.”
“Oh.” Brendan raised his arms so Trey could drag Brendan’s shirt over his head. Trey’s knuckles scraped across Brendan’s nipples and he felt the tightening of his flesh as he shivered. He dropped his arms and glared at Trey’s satisfied look.
“You did that on purpose. To distract me.”
“It didn’t work. You aren’t distracted yet.” Trey flattened his palm over Brendan’s heart and Brendan could feel the prick of the tips of Trey’s claws. “But maybe this will. You seem to enjoy the scrape of claw on skin.”
“God…” Brendan said, already feeling breathless at the rapid-fire fluttering of his pulse.
Trey curled his fingers, and his claws scratched down Brendan’s chest, all the way down over his abdomen and to the waistband of his jeans.
“I like—” Brendan sucked in his breath. Trey’s fingers had trailed down to where Brendan’s dick was already stiffening behind his fly.
Trey’s claws caged the bulge of Brendan’s cock.
The muscles in Brendan’s stomach quivered. He could hardly breathe. The thought of those claws so close to his cock made blood pool quickly and he went from half-hard to completely erect behind the heavy weight of Trey’s hand.
Trey squeezed Brendan’s flesh, and the very tips of his claws poked through Brendan’s jeans.
“That’s—risky,” Brendan said, voice cracking. He couldn’t take his eyes off Trey’s hand. “I can almost feel them on my dick.”
Trey reached for the back of Brendan’s neck with his other hand and jerked him closer. A hot spark of pleasure shot down Brendan’s spine at the feel of Trey’s claws pricking his skin.
“God, I feel like a fucking pervert,” Brendan muttered. “I want you to—” He stopped and licked his dry lips.
Trey leaned in and sniffed at Brendan’s throat, then ran his face up against Brendan’s jaw and cheek, teeth scraping. He pulled back. “Your scent reeks with anxiety and desire. What do you want, Brendan?”
Brendan cleared his throat. “I don’t know.”
Trey thrust his nose against Brendan’s neck again and took a deep, long sniff. He nipped at Brendan’s collar with his pointed eyeteeth and Brendan yelped at the sharp nick of pain. “What do you want?”
“I don’t know,” Brendan said again.
“You want to submit,” Trey said. “But you want more.”
“I said I don’t fucking know.” Brendan’s voice rose at the end, emphasizing his growing discomfort. He fisted his hand in the front of Trey’s shirt. “I don’t know why I keep submitting, because it—it doesn’t feel right, like I’m giving up something I’m not supposed to give up, but I do it anyway. God—I want to do it. I want you to shove me down face first in the mattress and fuck me, and—and when I open my goddamned mouth to complain, I want you to—to—fuck—I don’t know. I don’t know what I want you to do. You’re such an asshole for making me say that!”
“Your submission is a gift. Mates are respected for their submission, not weakened by it.”
Brendan had no idea what the hell that meant. Of course he was weak, or he would be the one demanding Trey submit to him. Wasn’t that the way it worked? Alpha, beta, and all that shit. The strong ruled and the weak gave in because they had no choice.
He kissed Trey. He didn’t want to talk anymore, and he didn’t want Trey to force him to share any more of the crazy things that fluttered around in his head when he thought of Trey’s claws on him, or Trey’s hand on his ass, or Trey, holding him down…
None of those things made him feel good about who he was or who he might have been, and he wanted to erase the taste of those thoughts from his mind.
But Trey wasn’t ready to let him.
Fuck.
Trey wrenched Brendan’s mouth off his, his hand clenching at the back of Brendan’s neck, and Brendan struggled for a few seconds against Trey’s hold, panting heavily, before giving up.
“I don’t want to talk about it!” he said, too loud. He hit Trey in the chest with his fist. “Why’d you do this to me? You should’ve just left me alone. Turned me in. I don’t want to go through this shit anymore. I don’t care if I get a second chance. I don’t like not knowing who I am. I feel like I’m being torn in two by memories I don’t even have!”
“Brendan, it’s okay. You’re fine.” Trey wrapped his arm around Brendan’s shoulders and pulled him in tight.
Brendan felt Trey’s hand splay warm and strong in the center of his back and he couldn’t take it. “I think I hate you sometimes,” Brendan said, face mashed tight to Trey’s neck. “God, I think I hate you so much.”
“Hush,” Trey said, softly, breath puffing across Brendan’s cheek. “You’re tired and we should go to bed so you can rest. You’ll feel better after a night of sleep.”
“I don’t want to hate you, Trey. But what if I can’t stop? What if—what if I’m just an evil asshole who doesn’t even deserve the second chance I’m getting? What if you should’ve just let my government kill me for what I’ve done?”
“The Diviners say otherwise,” Trey said, “as does the prophecy.”
“Prophecy? I don’t believe in that kind of bullshit. Or—” Brendan puffed air against Trey’s neck, a bitter laugh. “I don’t think I do. I don’t see how I could have because I sure as hell don’t believe it now.”
“I believe,” Trey said, “and soon you’ll believe.”
Brendan rested his head against Trey’s warm neck and tried not the think about how Trey’s Diviners might be fools. People couldn’t tell the future. There was no way anyone knew what he would do, because he didn’t even know, and that scared the shit out of him.
He wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but when Trey finally dragged them down onto the bed, naked, he manhandled Brendan until he had him in his arms, Brendan’s back to his warm chest.
“We could still fuck,” Brendan said, pulling Trey’s arm tighter across his chest.
“No. You need sleep.”
“I can sleep after we fuck.”
“It’s my responsibility to care for you. You need sleep.”
“I’m not—tired—hey!” Brendan grappled with Trey’s hand, trying to pry Trey’s strong fingers away from his neck but Trey didn’t budge. Brendan finally gave up and left the warm weight of Trey’s palm at his throat.
“Sleep,” Trey said, and that was the only answer Brendan got as Trey dug down into the pillows and smashed his face up against the back of Brendan’s shoulder, his knee wedged between Brendan’s knees from behind.
Brendan swatted at the pillow trying to suffocate him. “Fucking pillows,” he grumbled.
Trey’s breath puffed against his shoulder.
“Dammit. You’re laughing at me.”
“Of course not.”
Brendan scowled into the dark.
He shoved the pillow and enjoyed the whump he heard as it hit the floor.
Another pillow fell forward across the bridge of his nose.
He felt more than heard Trey’s snort against his collar.
“Asshole, it’s not funny.”
“Of course not.”
“Fuck you,” Br
endan muttered. “I’m going to sleep.”
Chapter 15
The next day, Brendan found himself settling into a set of rooms that were much larger than the room he’d been in. He was still on a ship, but it was a massive ship, one that Brendan couldn’t stop thinking would block out the moon if it were to cross between it and the Earth. He was probably wrong about that, but the ship just seemed so big inside.
Even though the ship was massive, it was an aging ship that Trey and his people hadn’t expected to need. Systems had started failing a few years before the wolves had discovered Earth. The same had been true of the other large ships. Several had been lost in the vast space between their old world and Earth.
Brendan had felt a chill at the notion that Trey’s entire species could have ended up dead within a few more years.
Earth truly had been their salvation.
“How long am I going to be stuck here?” he asked, gazing out a long, narrow window and staring at the dark side of the moon.
“You aren’t stuck here. This will be your home.”
Brendan turned and watched Trey place two fingers on a small device he’d pulled from his pocket and briefly stare into a narrow light that shone on his face. Brendan frowned. He didn’t understand the wolves’ technology. He wondered if Trey would ever explain—but no, why should he? Why not wait until Brendan had his memories back and see what he would do then?
“It’s creepy staring out into the dark all the time,” Brendan said, returning his gaze to the window. “I don’t think I’d like living on a space ship all the time.”
“Then I’ll move my home to Earth and you’ll live with me there.”
Brendan stared at Trey over his shoulder. “Are you serious? You’d move your—everything—”
Brendan gestured to the room’s furnishings, the table and chairs similar to those found on the other ship and the thick piles of pillows that seemed to be everywhere, several cabinets built into the walls holding who knew what, and some kind of oblong planter full of greenery that crawled up a latticed wall that spanned the length of the entire room and gave off a crisp scent Brendan could just pick up on the air.