Darkest Dreams

by Jennifer St Giles

He rubbed a bar of fragrant soap between his hands, filling my senses with his heady scent. Dropping the soap in the water, he cupped my breasts, bathing them with excruciatingly pleasurable strokes. “With you, Andromeda, every hour sounds about right to me. I’m an excellent captain, so you can relax. You’re in expert hands.” He snaked one hand down my stomach and slid a slick finger directly where I tingled the most, magically finding that one single spot that made me ache for more.

  “Every hour?” I gasped as he brought his knees up on the insides of mine and spread my legs wide. How did anyone ever do anything else? Why anyone ever did anything else was my last coherent thought, for Alex slid his fingers inside me again, and he rubbed that special place until my whole body throbbed to the rhythm of his touch. My head fell back against his shoulder, and his lips sought mine in a deep, dueling kiss where every thrust and parry made us both winners. I barely felt his slight lifting of my hips. I only knew the satisfying moment his hot, urgent sex thrust into me, and he rocked insistently in and out. He had one hand rubbing over the hardened tips of my breasts and his other hand cupping my sex so that his fingers vibrated with growing intensity directly on that very sensitive place where my whole body and soul became his. Stars exploded, and time disappeared beneath the burning pleasure shuddering through every fiber of my being.

  This time when Alex followed me to heaven, his pleasure sent a sharp spasm through me that was so dizzying, the bursting stars blinded me, leaving me dazed. His whole being was caught up in the experience. At that moment nothing else mattered to him. He wanted nothing more than to be inside me and to stay inside me, driving himself into every part of me. I became his whole world in an instant, and I decided that was all that mattered. Whatever his thoughts would be a minute from now or a day from now, we’d shared something special, and deep inside him that meant as much to him as it did to me.

  I didn’t have any regrets, but I did feel awkward as I left Dragon’s Cove. It wasn’t anything that Alex did or said. He’d been very attentive, the perfect lady’s maid in helping me dress. We even shared tea, during which I ate twice as much as I usually did. There were moments that I’d find him looking at me in a puzzled way, and moments when things became too quiet, like there were things that needed to be said, but neither of us was willing to say them.

  And there was nothing to say. We both had to content ourselves with the situation as it was. We had no future.

  Still, as the dark towers of Dragon’s Cove and its crashing waves disappeared behind me and the sounds of the birds singing and bees searching for nectar in maritime forest unfolded before me, I knew I was returning to Killdaren’s Castle a different woman. A woman who was both more and less than what I had been this morning, for Alex had not only opened a whole new world to me, but he’d taken a part of me captive as well. It wasn’t just my heart; I think he’d laid claim to that long before today. It was part of my soul that was missing, a part of me that was still tangled up with him and that moment when his driving force sailed us into an unknown sea.

  I didn’t have long to dwell on my melancholy state. The buggy pulled up to the castle’s rear door and, rather than going inside and facing everyone just yet, I took the path into the gardens and accidentally stumbled into eavesdropping on a very private conversation between Stuart Frye and his mother. She was expressing her outrage over the efforts of Cassie, Bridget and me to clear her and Jamie of murder charges. I was surprised to find she’d been released from jail. Cassie must have had some impact on Constable Poole after all.

  “All of you should have just left well enough alone,” she said.

  “No,” said Stuart. “You shouldn’t have confessed to a crime you didn’t commit. You shouldn’t have made up lies about Mary’s death thinking to save Jamie.”

  “I had to. He’s different, and they would have killed him on the spot. He’s a child inside. I had to protect him. Now they will hang him for sure. There’s unrest among the villagers. So much so that I think Constable Poole had me brought back here. I think he’s afraid of a mob and most likely didn’t want to have a woman hung on his watch. I still have to face charges for lying to the authorities.”

  “Jamie is innocent, and I will find a way to prove it,” Stuart said. “I’ll speak to Sean about hiring more guards to keep him safe, and you need to stay here in the castle.”

  “How can you be so sure he is innocent?” said Mrs. Frye. “He had Mary’s body in the burial ground beneath those cursed stones he was always at.”

  “If Mary’s death had just been an accident, I’d think Jamie at fault,” said Stuart. “He might have pushed her or squeezed her too tight when trying to help her, but you know as well as I do that if Jamie’s life had depended on him carving Mary with a knife, he would have killed himself first. Besides, he was fifteen when Helen died. There’s just no way he did it. He cried for a month when a horse had to be put down.”

  “It doesn’t matter. The only way to save Jamie now is for the real killer to be caught red-handed while Jamie is in jail. I’m sure the killer isn’t foolish enough to do that.”

  “I’ll find a way to save my brother no matter what. That I promise.”

  Stuart’s grim pledge had a note of assurance in it that sent a shiver of warning down my spine. I hurried back to the castle and into the warmth of the kitchens. Mrs. Murphy had the staff running about, preparing a special servants’ meal in honor of Mrs. Frye’s return. She’d been the vigilant housekeeper at Killdaren’s Castle for years, finding that she’d lied to protect Jamie, had everyone welcoming her back with forgiving arms.

  Rather than retreating to my room and my thoughts, I went in search of Cassie to escape them. I also understood for the first time just why I felt as if I had lost my sister in some small way after she’d met and married Sean. Sean had led Cassie to the new and exciting world Alex had opened up to me, and part of her belonged to him in a special way.

  I found Cassie, Bridget, Prudence and Gemini together in the library. Each of them had a book in hand and were searching through the pages as if the world would end if they didn’t find what they were looking for. All except for Cassie, who paced like an angry tigress in front of the fireplace.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked, stepping into the room.

  “What’s right?” Cassie demanded, throwing her hands up. “My husband doesn’t credit me with any intelligence whatsoever. Constable Poole came today, escorting Mrs. Frye back here. He spent two hours with Sean. Two hours discussing my cousin’s murder and Lady Helen’s death, and my dear husband won’t tell me a word of what was said. I’m supposed to knit stockings and not concern myself. I’ve never knitted a stocking in my life.”

  “You did learn how to knit scarves, if I remember right,” I said.

  Cassie glared at me, almost breathing fire like a dragon herself.

  “He’s only trying to protect you,” Prudence said. “You should appreciate the fact that he loves you so much. I’m not sure the earl spared me a glance after he learned I was with child.”

  “I think the earl feels a great deal more than he lets anyone see,” Cassie said. “He’s too afraid that he’ll curse someone else. I don’t mean to be ungrateful about Sean’s attention, but…” She groaned. “Considering I have plans for a number of children, I’m going to be a prisoner in my own home for the next ten years. The doctor swears that I am fine, and I am, but Sean won’t believe it.”

  “Maybe you should just rest and let the men solve this mystery,” I said. My sister was more agitated than I’d ever seen her.

  Cassie gaped at me. “Andrie! Whose side are you on?”

  “Your side, of course. But Sean is right in that you don’t need to do anything dangerous.”

  “We’re not,” Bridget said. “But we are going to prove that women are capable and don’t need to be coddled. Stuart has the same problem that Sean does.” Bridget held up the book in her hands, letting me read the title. Druid Magic Through the Ages. “Tonight we’re going to scou
r the library to see if we can discover any significance to the symbol, and tomorrow after tea we’re going to take a little ride.”

  “What kind of little ride?” I asked, apprehensive.

  “We’re going to pay a visit to a haunted mansion,” Gemini answered, blue eyes bright with excitement. “This all started with Lady Helen, and we are missing out on important clues by not finding out more about her.”

  I quickly found a seat. “You mean the place that Mr. Drayson mentioned at dinner? The place that even scared him?”

  “I’m sure he was exaggerating,” Gemini said.

  “I agree that we haven’t asked as many questions about Lady Helen as we should, but I don’t think going to a haunted mansion is the way to get the answers we want.”

  “It’s the perfect place to go,” Bridget said. “From what I hear, not a thing has been touched since the night Lady Helen died. She might have a journal or some letters or something to help us figure out what could have happened that night. Someone hated her enough to kill her. Who?”

  “It wasn’t the earl, “Prudence cried out. “He hated her for what she was doing to his sons but he wouldn’t have harmed her. I know him.”

  Cassie put a comforting hand on Prudence’s shoulder.

  “Solving her murder will be the only way to let her spirit find peace. Mary’s too,” Gemini said.

  “Wait a minute,” I cried. “All of you are moving too fast here.” I felt as if I’d been caught up in a storm that was spinning out of control. “What are you talking about? Putting their spirits to rest?”

  Gemini frowned at me. “Wouldn’t your spirit be upset if you were murdered?”

  “I suppose so, but you sounded as if you had actually heard their spirits.”

  Gemini shrugged, looking oddly as if she was hiding a lot more than she was saying. “The important thing is that we find out who did this. The men have had eight years and don’t have any answers. The matter needs a woman’s perspective.”

  “We’ll work together to solve this and prove to the men that we are capable. By staying together we’ll be safe as well,” Bridget added.

  “I’m afraid I’m going to stay here,” Prudence said softly. “I don’t want to be that far from Rebecca, not since we’ve learned that Mrs. Frye and Jamie aren’t responsible for what happened to Mary. Rebecca could still be in danger. Somebody put her on the roof. If not Jamie, then who?”

  Cassie exhaled as if punched. “God, I don’t want to ever have to live through what happened before again. You’re right to keep Rebecca close, but I think she may be safe now. I think whoever tried to hurt her was afraid that when Rebecca started talking clearly she would say something that might tell us who harmed Mary. Now that she has recovered and hasn’t said anything more, she may be safe. But you’re right not to leave her.”

  “Maybe we should all just stay here and ask questions about Helen from people who knew her,” I muttered, hoping that I’d get one of the other women to go along with the safer of the two evils. Cassie, Bridget and Gemini glared at me, and I knew I didn’t have a choice.

  “I don’t suppose a short drive tomorrow for an after-tea excursion will be that hazardous as long as we stay together.” I bit my lip and winced, wondering why I felt so very uneasy about everything.

  A few minutes after everyone went back to their search for Druid symbology in the library books, I eased over to Cassie’s side. “Have you had any dreams?” I whispered.

  “No,” she said, shaking her head. She set her hand on mine. “No, none at all. You know I would do anything, say anything to keep someone from harm.”

  “Yes.” I also knew that, except for once in the case of Rebecca’s being left on the roof, Cassie’s dreams about a person’s death always came too late to do anything to save that person.

  The firm knock on the door made me jump guiltily, as if I’d been caught doing something I shouldn’t. Cassie did as well. She cleared her throat. “Come in.”

  One of the downstairs maids stood at the door, white-faced, shaken and crying. “Begging your pardon, Mistress Killdaren, but Sir Warwick wishes to have a word with you. I swear I didn’t do anything with the cards in the music room, they were there when I dusted last week, honest. Please ma’am, but it’s not my fault. I canna afford to lose my job, ma’am. I promise I didn’t do it.”

  “Heavens! I forgot all about them. There has been so much happening,” Cassie said, crossing the room, and set her arm across the girl’s shoulders. “Don’t you worry, Nan. I’ll take care of this. Tell Mrs. Murphy I said to give you some tea and scones, and you take a short break and gather yourself. Nobody’s going to lose their job. I know exactly what happened to the cards.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” the maid said as she curtsied and left, sniffling. She didn’t appear very reassured. I imagined Sir Warwick had given her quite a fright.

  “Odd that Sir Warwick is asking about the cards. I expected it would be the earl. Well, it’s time for me to go and face the music, so to speak.” Cassie straightened her shoulders as if readying for battle. “You three did the right thing in removing those horrid cards about the women who died. I’ve wanted to do it since I first came here. I just hadn’t had time since Sean and I were married.”

  “I’ll go with you,” I said. “The cards are shoved into the back of my armoire.”

  “No,” Cassie said. “As far as anyone is concerned we’ve burned them. This is my home now, and I don’t want them here. If you don’t take charge of your own life and make it what you want it to be, then someone else will choose for you.”

  “Blimey, Cassie. That has to be the greatest thing I’ve ever heard said. I am coming with you, then I’m going to stop letting Stuart make my choices.” Bridget set down her book firmly on the desktop and tugged her dress into place as she stood.

  “And I as well,” Prudence said quietly. “But not everyone can choose what they want. Many have to settle for what is given to them.”

  “Sometimes that is true, Prudence, but then you don’t know if something is possible until you try and make it so,” Cassie said, looking at Prudence, but somehow the weight of the words settled on me, and I couldn’t seem to shrug them off.

  We entered the music room, bolstering Cassie’s wake, surprised to find the Earl of Dartraven pacing in agitation and Sir Warwick staring the card less display of Tartoelen Dragon Shawms where the woman who used them on stage had been burned at the stake as a witch—one of the gruesome stories I recalled reading as I’d removed the card.

  The earl looked up at us all with a puzzled expression. “I’m not sure how this has happened but all of the research on these instruments is missing. We need to find the cards. Warwick will be able to tell the maid where they belong.”

  “I’m afraid that isn’t possible, my lord,” Cassie replied. “I apologize if I have upset anyone but they were removed because I felt that their content didn’t belong in my home. I’ve a child on the way, and those stories of death were nightmares no child ever needs to hear. The cards, unfortunately, met with an untimely end.”

  “That was my fault,” I said, moving to Cassie’s side, unable to let her bear the brunt of the gaffe. “I thought ridding them of their ghost meant destroying the cards.”

  “There should be no blame cast here,” said Prudence, taking Cassie’s other side. “As long as the tragedies involved with the instruments are kept fresh in everyone’s minds the beauty of the music they could make can never be heard.”

  “They were a memorial to Olivia,” said the earl.

  “My wife,” added Sir Warwick at our puzzled looks. “She began collecting the instruments before she died, and after her death, I continued.”

  The earl sighed. “Sean’s mother had Warwick place the instruments here where Olivia loved to sing as a memorial to her. The harp on the stage was hers.”

  “She was playing it and singing when she collapsed on stage and died. She sang so passionately that her heart literally stopped from exhau
stion.”

  The men were suddenly so melancholy that I thought they were going to cry. I felt stunned to see such emotion from them. Nobody said a word for a few minutes. I could see that Cassie was grappling for the right thing to say. For no matter what the content of the cards had been, the music room was apparently a memorial, and we’d desecrated it in some way. And to be honest, Cassie and I were the last ones who could actually judge another for their collection of antiquities. Though we didn’t have cards delineating who the men were and how they died, my parents had picked up two shrunken heads in their travels, and they were sitting on the shelf of our dish cabinet in our Oxford home at that moment.

  “I think it is time for all of us to put what happened in the past behind us and find a new life,” Prudence said firmly, looking directly at the earl and gaining his attention.

  He blinked at her as if he hadn’t seen her for some time. “You make that sound like you’re about to sail to America.” He didn’t appear to like the idea at all.

  Prudence furrowed her brow. “I just might. Stuart has been urging me to start a new life for myself and Rebecca for a long time. I never thought it possible, but maybe I am wrong.”

  The earl gaped like a fish out of water.

  Though Cassie and Prudence were right–it was time to free many things from the chains of the past–I did feel contrite for upsetting Sir Warwick and the earl. Not so bad that I wanted to return the cards, but I did need to say something. I leaned forward and touched Sir Warwick’s sleeve and quickly snatched my hand back. “I’m…sorry.” I could barely get my words of apology past the sudden lump in my throat. Inside, Sir Warwick was raging with anger. “These imbeciles have destroyed years, years of research! Olivia’s memory was more important than these low-class upstarts.”

  A clear image of his wife singing on stage, strumming her golden harp, looking like a Greek goddess in white robes and delicate flowers in her upswept hair flashed in my mind, and I saw her fall to the ground clutching her chest as she cried out in pain.