by Nicole James
“Can I come in?”
“Not really in a good mood, darlin’,” he replied.
“Cary, please. Talk to me.”
He turned from the door, but left it open. As he knew she would, she followed him inside. He stalked into his kitchen and went straight to the tequila bottle. He didn’t bother with a shot glass, he just took a pull straight from the bottle.
“Cary, what happened?” Summer asked softly. He shook his head and collapsed into a kitchen chair. Summer pulled one out and sat next to him. He took another slug, his eyes meeting hers as she watched him up end the bottle. He set it on the table. “Where are my manners? You want a shot? I could get you a glass.”
She shook her head. “No, thanks.”
He took another pull off the bottle.
“I thought you were going to end it.”
He set the bottle down and leaned back in his chair. His eyes met hers. “I know. I tried…but…”
“What happened?”
Cary reached for the bottle again and Summer pushed it out of his reach. He looked at her and lowered his hand.
“What happened today, Cary?”
He just shook his head. “I appreciate your concern, but this is between her and me, Summer.”
She put her hand on his knee. “Cary, please. Talk to me.”
He blew out a breath. She just wasn’t gonna let this go. “She’s seeing someone else.”
“What?” Summer whispered, stunned. “Are you sure?”
“I just caught her leaving The Sunset Motel.”
“A motel? Cary, no. She wouldn’t. Maybe you’ve misread the situation. Maybe there’s an explanation. She wanted me to give you a message. She said, ‘Tell him it wasn’t what he thought’.”
“Yeah, right.”
“Cary, you know I don’t approve of this, but…she has feelings for you. Since I found out about the two of you, I’ve watched her and I know she does.”
He shook his head. “You were right, this situation is fucked up. I should have known better.”
“Cary, I’m guessing you were…her first. Am I right?
He didn’t reply, but he didn’t deny it, either. Apparently, she correctly took that as a yes, because she continued, “A girl’s first, that’s special. She’s probably in love with you.”
He shook his head again. “Yeah, well, maybe she wanted something to compare me to.”
“Cary, I don’t believe that for a second, and neither do you.”
“I don’t know what to believe. She wouldn’t give me an explanation. Nothing. She wouldn’t even talk to me. What am I supposed to believe?”
“Are you in love with her?”
Her direct question took him by surprise and he didn’t reply. He’d never said the words to her. Until today, until an hour ago, maybe he hadn’t even realized it, until he saw her coming out of that motel and felt his heart being ripped out.
“Cary, it’s a simple question. Are you in love with her?”
He slowly nodded his head.
Summer slid the bottle of tequila back across the table to him.
He looked at her and then reached for it, taking another slug.
“Look, I don’t know what happened today, but…I know she loves you, Cary.”
Cary’s eyes raised to hers.
“She’s up in her room right now, terrified that you’re leaving.”
“I thought maybe…”
“What?”
“When I heard you knock…I thought maybe…you were her.”
“She wanted to come. I told her to leave it alone for tonight.”
Cary reached for a pack of cigarettes lying on the table. He shook one out and lit it. He blew out a stream of smoke slowly.
“Did Steve ask you to leave?”
He looked at her and then tapped the cigarette ash into an ashtray. “No. Not yet, anyway.”
Summer nodded slowly. “And if he does?”
His eyes met hers. “Then I guess I leave.”
“And Jessie? What about her?”
Cary looked down at his cigarette.
“That’s it? You’re just done with her?”
Cary’s eyes snapped back to her. “Don’t make it sound like that.”
“She’ll want to go with you. She’ll leave her home, her family…for you.” Summer studied him. “Is that what you want, Cary?”
“You know it’s not, Summer.”
“Then you’d better find a way to make things right with her father.”
Cary ran a hand over his jaw. “That won’t be easy.”
“No, it won’t. But you have to try, Cary.”
“I really screwed this up, didn’t I?”
“If you love her…really love her, then everything will work out-”
Cary cut her off. “I promised him I’d stay away from her, Summer. I gave him my word.” When she made no comment, Cary looked at Summer. What could she say? What did he expect her to say?
“I see.”
Their eyes held a moment and then Cary’s dropped to the table top, maybe it was a good thing he caught her at that motel. If he could just hang on to the anger and hurt…maybe it would make letting go a little easier. Because it seemed, letting go was what he was going to have to do.
“I…I should be getting back now.” She stood up.
Cary pushed his chair back, stood up and walked her to the door. “Summer, I appreciate everything you’ve done.”
“Get some sleep.” She turned to leave and then stopped. “Oh, and put away the tequila, okay?”
Cary just nodded slowly. “Okay.”
Summer left and he closed the door, leaning back against it. He stared at the floor, wondering how this was all going to end and if he’d have the strength to get through it.
Summer walked down the porch steps and headed across the yard to the house. She noticed the flaring glow of someone taking a drag off a cigarette and stopped short, startled. She looked and saw a shadowed figure leaning against the corral to her right.
“Seems all the women in this house are making late night visits to Cary’s house.”
Steve.
She turned and walked toward him. “I just went to talk to him, that’s all.”
Steve turned around and leaned his forearms on the top rail of the corral. “I ought to kick him off the place,” he growled, taking another hit off his cigarette.
“You know what might happen if you do that, don’t you?” Summer asked softly.
He turned his head and looked at her for a long moment, considering. And then he asked, “She’ll go with him?”
Summer reached up and put her hand on his shoulder. “She loves him. She won’t want to leave you, but…yes, I think she might.”
Steve turned away. “How did this happen?”
She’s a beautiful girl and Cary’s a good looking man. They’re around each other all the time.”
“There are hundreds of boys at high school. Why Cary?”
“Those are boys. Cary is a man. There’s a big difference.”
Steve just looked at her.
“Steve, I think this is a serious relationship. They love each other.” Summer watched Steve turn his head away, his jaw muscles clenching. “Cary’s a good man, Steve. Jessie could do a lot worse.”
“She’s too young. She can’t know what she wants.”
“I disagree.”
A brown mare trotted up. Steve reached up and stroked her neck. “How’re you doin’, girl?” The horse nuzzled his hand until he reached into his pocket and pulled something out. Summer watched as he extended his hand and opened it palm up to reveal a sugar cube. The mare gobbled it up. Steve smiled and stroked her velvety nose.
Summer pulled on his arm. “Come on inside. I’ll warm up some dinner. You must be hungry.”
He turned and went with her. Summer smiled when he put his arm around her, pulling her close for a hug. They walked quietly into the house.
*****
Ten days had pa
ssed. Ten of the longest days of Jessie’s life. Cary wouldn’t speak to her, he wouldn’t even look at her. He stopped taking his meals at the house and avoided her at all costs.
Her heart was breaking.
He’d wanted her to explain, and when she wouldn’t, he was done. Completely done. She couldn’t blame him. He deserved an explanation. He did. She knew he did, but she couldn’t. How could she possible admit what she’d done? My God, she could barely admit it to herself. If she told him, he wouldn’t understand. How could he? How could any man? It would disgust him. He’d never look at her the same again. But now he wasn’t looking at her at all. At least she knew he wouldn’t be sent to prison for a crime he didn’t commit. Maybe she’d lost him anyway, but she had to believe all she’d done hadn’t been for nothing. God, this whole situation was such a nightmare. Had she done the wrong thing? Should she have tried to go to the Sheriff or told her father? Had she made the wrong decision?
Jessie drove along the highway, headed home from school. As she approached the farm and made the turn into the drive, she thought of how in the past she couldn’t wait to get home so she could see Cary. Now she dreaded it. She felt sick every time he looked away, refusing to even look at her.
She parked and got out, pulling her backpack out. With her head bowed, she headed to the house. She was ten feet from the porch, when she heard the screen door slam. Looking up, she stopped dead.
There stood Cary, having just come out the door. He paused, his eyes flicking to her for a moment, and then he moved to go around her.
Jessie turned to watch him walk away and suddenly it was all too much for her. She couldn’t go on like this. “Cary, please, wait,” she whispered.
He paused, but wouldn’t turn around.
“Please, can’t we talk?”
“Got nothing to say, Jessie,” he said without turning around. Then he was walking away from her, as easy as if she meant nothing to him. Tears flooded her eyes, and she dashed up the steps.
Cary made it to the barn before he stopped just inside and leaned both hands on a stall. He bowed his head and took a deep breath. Shit. It was getting harder and harder to pretend she meant nothing to him, when inside it was killing him. He’d never admit how badly she’d hurt him. How the hell had he ever let her come to mean so much to him that she literally had his insides tied in knots? He couldn’t eat, he barely slept. Christ.
Glancing to his right, he saw Steve enter the other side of the barn, and he straightened, not wanting Steve to see him like this. Lately, Steve had been watching him like a hawk. Guess he couldn’t blame him. Hell, he was surprised Steve had even given him this second chance. He had been sure Steve would kick his ass off the farm.
“Problems?” Steve asked, coming toward him.
“No, boss. No problems.” Cary moved off to get back to work, watching Steve out of the corner of his eye as he moved past him. Steve eyed him and then his gaze moved to the house visible through the open barn doors, then back to him. Cary knew he was just waiting for the two of them to make some move at reconciliation. If Steve only knew just how remote that possibility was. There was no explanation for what Cary had seen that day, other than the damning one he knew in his heart was true, an explanation he sure as hell didn’t want to hear anymore. Christ, if she tried to explain now, it’d kill him. What could she possibly say to him that would make any of this any better? It was just one time, it didn’t mean anything? Hell, none of that would make it okay. So what was the point?
Besides, they never should have been together from the start. She was too young. Hell, she had her whole life ahead of her. Why in the hell would she ever want to settle for him? God, he had to stop thinking about it. Shit, he’d promised himself while he was lying awake in bed again last night that he would get through one day without thinking about it. Just one damn day!
Summer was at the sink, cutting up vegetables for a stew, when she heard the backdoor open. “Forget something?” She turned to look over her shoulder, thinking it was Cary, who’d just walked out the door. He’d been inside for a drink of water. He must have seen that Jessie’s car wasn’t yet parked out back, therefore it would be safe for him to come in for a quick drink, since she wasn’t yet home from school. Lately, it had become apparent that he was avoiding Jessie at all costs.
Summer could tell he’d been hurt. Terribly hurt. She wished she could make this situation better, but Jessie wouldn’t talk to her. Things had been cool at the house, all around. Things were bad between Jessie and Cary, between Cary and Steve and even to some extent between Steve and her. He had never asked her, but he must suspect she’d known about what was going on. She was grateful he hadn’t come right out and asked her, because then she would have had to admit the truth, that yes, she had known. And she didn’t know how that would affect their relationship.
But it wasn’t Cary standing there, it was Jessie. “Oh, Jessie, you’re home.”
Jessie didn’t stop. She had her head averted, as if she were trying to hide something.
“Jessie, wait.”
She didn’t stop. In fact, she broke into a run, dashing up the steps. Summer could hear her pounding up the stairs as she quickly wiped her hands on a dishtowel and followed her. This couldn’t go on. She had to get Jessie to talk to her. When she got to her room, of course the door was closed. She tapped lightly, and then opened the door. “Jessie?”
She was face down on her bed, her body shaking with her sobs. It tore Summer up to see her like this. She moved to the bed and sat down next to her. “Honey, please. Talk to me.” Jessie shook her head, her face buried in her pillow. “Jessie, maybe it would help to talk it out. Maybe I can help you.”
“You can’t help me. No one can.”
“I’m sure that’s not true, sweetheart. Please sit up.” Summer watched as Jessie turned and scooted against the headboard. She reached and grabbed a tissue from a box on the nightstand, handing it to her. “What brought on these tears?”
“Cary hates me,” she sobbed.
“That’s not true, sweetie.”
“Yes, it is. He won’t talk to me. God, he won’t even look at me.”
“Jessie, he’s hurt. Very hurt. He’ll never admit it, but whatever happened hurt him terribly.”
“I never meant to hurt him.”
“I’m sure you didn’t. Can you tell me what happened?”
“I c-can’t,” she replied, her voice choked with tears.
“Jessie, he thinks you cheated on him.”
Jessie broke into a fresh bout of tears.
“He said he saw you leaving a motel. Is it true, honey?”
She nodded.
“Oh, Jessie.”
“It’s not what he thinks, I swear.”
“Then what was it?”
She shook her head back and forth. “I can’t tell you.”
Oh my God. What was she doing there? A drug deal? “Jessie-”
“Please, I can’t talk about it. Please just leave me alone.”
“Jessie, are you in trouble.”
“I’m fine. You’re not my mother. Now, please go.”
Summer pulled back at that remark. “Honey-”
“Just go!”
Summer got up and left, quietly closing the door. She stood in the hall and leaned back against the door. Jessie was right, she wasn’t her mother. She was just…the housekeeper. But she’d hoped she was a friend, too. Perhaps all Jessie needed was time. Summer tried to tell herself that this was only a school girl crush and she would get over it, but Summer couldn’t really believe that, no matter how hard she tried. Jessie was in love with Cary and she was devastated by this breakup. And Summer knew, no matter how hard he tried to hide it, that Cary was hurt much worse than he’d be over some casual fling. This relationship they had was real and the feelings they had for each other went deep. She only wished there was some way she could fix it for them, but that was something they were going to have to figure out themselves.
Chapter
Twenty-Two
Summer hung-up the phone and crossed off the last name on her list. She sat at the kitchen table, looking over her notes. She had called every number that the realtor had given her of people with rental property in the Helen area. Most were dead ends, but there were still a few that Summer had left messages for on answering machines, and she was waiting for someone to return her call.
She was getting frustrated, and sitting here waiting for the phone to ring was going to drive her crazy. She needed to get out of the house for a while. Summer looked at the clock. It was 3;30pm. She had time to run into town before she had to be back to make dinner. Getting up, she grabbed her purse and headed out the back door. As she crossed the yard to the old pickup truck, Jessie pulled in, parked and got out.
“Hi, Jessie,” Summer greeted her. “How was school?”
“Okay. Are you going out?” She asked as she hiked her backpack onto her shoulder.
“Yes. I was getting frustrated with all the dead-end phone calls I’ve been making. I just need to get out for a while. I thought I’d drive to town.”
“Okay. See you later,” Jessie said, turning toward the house.
“I’ll be back in-time to start dinner,” Summer insisted over her shoulder as she climbed into the truck. She backed the truck up, pulled down the gravel drive and out onto the highway. Rolling down the window, she breathed in the crisp, fall air. It was a beautiful November day. The sky was a bright blue and the trees were in full autumn color. It felt good to get out and enjoy the day. Summer turned up the radio and drove, clearing her mind of her worries.
She arrived in town and drove down Main Street. She parked in one of the diagonal parking places in front of Margie’s Diner. Stepping up on the sidewalk, she saw Margie in the window wiping down a table. Margie saw her, smiled and waved her to come on in. Returning the smile, Summer headed for the door. When she walked in, Margie gestured for her to sit at the booth she’d just cleaned. Summer slid in the seat and put her purse down.
“How are you, honey?” Margie asked.