by Nicole James
Mark put his wine glass down with a little too much force. “Yes, dear. We’ll see. We did discuss this when we got engaged and you agreed. I make plenty of money and there is no need for my wife to be teaching in public school. A private school, perhaps. Like I said, we’ll see.”
“I agreed?” CJ asked dumbfounded.
“Yes, dear. You did,” Mark reiterated, looking her in the eye.
CJ got the feeling no such discussion had ever taken place and that Mark was taking advantage of the fact that she had lost her memory in order to get his way. There were spotty things she didn’t remember. The doctor told her they may return eventually or they may never return. Was it possible she had agreed to give up her job?
She was beginning to doubt herself, and it made her unsure of herself or what she wanted. She picked up her fork and quietly continued eating, her head bowed.
Dorothy looked at her daughter. She didn’t like this one bit. She knew that Mark could be determined and liked to have things his way, but Dorothy was afraid he was crushing her spirit. For the first time since this prince had walked into her daughter’s life, Dorothy began to doubt if he truly was the right man for CJ.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Steve stood in the barn, watching the calf nurse from its mother. This was the calf that Summer had helped him bring into the world. It was several months old now. He looked over at the empty stall across from this one. It was the one where he and Summer had first made love. He stared into space, remembering. God, he missed her.
He shook his head and walked out of the barn. There was a full moon and a million stars out. He pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his fleece-lined jean jacket and shook one out. Taking out a lighter, he bent his head to light it. He took a long drag and looked up at the moon, wondering what she was doing right now.
Steve turned at the sound of the backdoor opening. Jessie came flying out of the house.
“Daddy, Daddy!” She ran to him.
“What? What’s wrong? Is it Pop?” Steve asked, looking past her and seeing Cary coming down the back stairs much slower.
“No, silly. It’s this!” she said, smiling and holding her hand in front of his face.
Steve grabbed her hand and held it back from his eyes so he could focus on it. A diamond ring sparkled on her finger. He looked beyond Jessie, to Cary, but remained silent.
“Daddy, I love him,” Jessie insisted, her smile fading at the look on her father’s face.
“You knew how I felt about this,” Steve ignored his daughter and spoke directly to Cary, flinging his cigarette into the distance.
“I love her, Steve. That’s not going to change, no matter how you feel about it,” Cary insisted, standing his ground.
“So, that’s it?”
“No. We’re hoping you’ll give us your blessing,” Cary answered.
Steve didn’t say anything.
“Look, Steve, I’m going to do everything in my power to make her happy. I promise you that.”
“What about college? She wants to be a vet. You gonna let her throw all that away?”
“That’s important to her. She’s important to me. So, no, I’m not gonna let her throw that away.”
“And how’s that gonna work? You gonna visit her in her dorm room?” Steve bit out sarcastically, his eyes moving between Cary and his daughter.
“Daddy, I’ve decided to start out taking some of the core courses at the community college.” Jessie broke the news to him.
“What?”
“Hear me out. Then in a year or two, I can transfer my credits to University of Georgia. I’ll get an apartment near campus to stay at during the week and on weekends I can come home.”
“That’s crazy. What kind of marriage is that?”
“Daddy, military families are separated all the time.”
“And it’s damn hard on them!” Steve pointed out.
“Not as hard as giving her up,” Cary stated firmly.
Steve’s gaze swung to him. “So, a weekend wife, that’s what you want?”
“I want her to be happy. Whatever that takes. Finishing school, getting her degree, that’s going to happen. I’m going to make sure of it.”
Steve’s attention returned to Jessie. “Are you sure this is what you want? You’re so young, honey. Why would you want to tie yourself down like this? You have your whole life ahead of you.”
“Dad, Mom was my age when she married you,” she reminded him gently.
Steve looked off into the distance at the mention of Rita. “I only want what’s best for you, same as she would.”
“You loved each other, didn’t you?” Jessie pressed.
Startled by the question, Steve’s gaze jerked back to her. “You know we did.”
“Well, why can’t you believe that Cary and I love each other just as much? Please, Daddy, trust me. This is right. This marriage is going to work. I know it in my heart.”
Steve took her in his arms and hugged her. “I can’t talk you out of this, can I, baby?” he whispered, his mouth at her ear.
“I love him, Daddy,” she whispered back.
“I love you, so much, baby,” Steve squeezed her tighter.
“I love you, too, Daddy.”
Steve knew he couldn’t fight them both on this. With resignation he pushed her back and held her at arms-length. “If you’re sure…God, I can’t believe I’m saying this.” Steve paused a moment, then continued, “If you really want to marry this old cuss, then you both have my blessing.”
“Oh, thank you, Daddy.” She flew back into his arms.
Steve looked at Cary over her shoulder. “You’d better do right by her or you’ll have me to deal with.”
Cary smiled and rubbed his jaw, remembering the licking Steve could give when he set his mind to it. “Yes, sir.”
*****
CJ and her mother drove through downtown Savannah. It was the first week in December and the air had turned chilly. They parked in front of Amaretti’s Bakery and got out of the car. This bakery had been the bakery of choice for Savannah’s best families for over a hundred years. The display window was decorated for Christmas and the smell of gingerbread reached the sidewalk.
A tiny bell tinkled as they entered.
“Mrs. Walker, how good to see you again.” A woman came around the bakery case. “And your lovely daughter. I’m Leona Amaretti. How are you? I’m so pleased to meet you. I understand best wishes are in order.”
“Yes, thank you,” CJ replied, shaking the woman’s hand.
“Come with me, ladies. I have a table prepared in our consultation room.”
They followed the woman into a small room. There was an elegant table set with a tea service.
“Please, sit down,” the woman invited.
They had come to select a wedding cake. The date had been set for the first Saturday in May. They sat and the woman poured tea for all of them. After a few minutes of chitchat, she produced a book of wedding cake photographs and prices.
Over a pot of tea, they tasted a variety of cakes with different fillings and icings. A decision was finally made and Leona left to get a receipt for the down payment they’d made.
As soon as she left the room, Dorothy looked over at her daughter and touched her hand. “Are you alright, dear?”
CJ had been staring off into space. At the touch of her mother’s hand, she turned and smiled. “Yes, Mother. I’m fine. I think the cake will be beautiful, don’t you?”
“I wasn’t even sure you’d noticed. You’ve been in another world the whole time we’ve been here.”
CJ looked down and took another sip of tea. Then she looked up and smiled at her mother. “I’m sorry, Mother. I guess I’ve just been distracted.”
“CJ, is it possible that you’re having second thoughts?” Her mother reached out and squeezed her hand.
“No, of course not. Mark is…perfect. How could I not be happy?” CJ asked rhetorically, but could not seem to hold her mother’s gaze.
“Yes, perfect,” her mother agreed. “CJ, perfect he may seem, but that doesn’t mean he’s the one. If you…if you have feelings for someone else, if things have changed…”
CJ stared at her teacup.
“CJ, look at me.”
She looked at her mother with a glisten of tears in her eyes.
“Oh, sweetheart, please don’t cry.”
“I miss him, Mother,” CJ confessed, her voice trembling.
“The man from Ruby Falls?”
She nodded.
“I thought so.”
“Oh, Mother. What should I do?”
“What your heart tells you to do.”
“I’m being silly, I guess,” CJ said, taking a tissue from her purse and wiping her eyes.
“What’s silly?”
“Mark is great and we’ll have a wonderful life together.”
Dorothy wasn’t so sure about that anymore.
“I know he loves me and…”
“And?” her mother prompted.
“Nothing. I mean…I know it’s ridiculous to even think of throwing it all away. And well, Steve and I…”
“What dear? Tell me.”
“He can be so infuriating, Mother. I mean, sometimes I just want to smack him in the head. He can be so stubborn…and prideful! Oh, Mother, can he be prideful. He hates to take help from anyone. Why he’d rather die than admit he can’t do it all himself.”
“Sounds like love to me.”
CJ stopped blowing her nose and looked at her mother. “What?”
“You love him. Admit it.”
“I…I have feelings for him. I mean he was so good to me, but as far as a life together. Well, how would that work? He lives on a farm, in the middle of nowhere and…”
“And you love him. And his farm.”
CJ just stared at the tissue she held in her lap.
“What is it? He isn’t good enough for you?”
“Mother! How can you even ask that? Why I’m not a snob. For heaven’s sake, I gathered eggs and-”
Her mother cut her off. “So what is it then? Tell me.”
CJ looked away, not sure how to explain what she wasn’t even sure she understood herself. “I…I ruined everything between us, Mother. He thinks I don’t believe in him.”
“Why is that?”
“It doesn’t matter.” CJ tore the tissue to shreds. “No, this is right. Mark and I will be happy. I’m just being silly. It…it must just be my nerves.”
Dorothy wasn’t so sure. “Who are you trying to convince, baby? Me or you?”
*****
The next day, CJ had gone to meet with the principle at the elementary school where she had taught the students art last year. They had discussed the possibility of her returning. He’d informed her that unfortunately, when she had disappeared, the board had been forced to find a replacement and the position was now filled. He promised her that she would be their first choice, if for any reason this new teacher did not work out. He also said he would check to see if there were any positions coming available next year in any of the other districts.
CJ thanked him and left his office. She was walking down the hall when she passed an open door to a classroom. The teacher, Ms. Beal, noticed her and called out her name. “Ms. Walker, how are you?”
CJ stepped inside to say hello and immediately noticed several of her students from last year. “My goodness. Look at all you first graders, all grown up second graders now.”
They were all thrilled to see her and asked if she was coming back. She told them that they had a new art teacher this year, but maybe she’d be back some day. They all asked her questions on where she’d gone. She explained to them all about staying on a real farm the past few months, where she got to drink milk from a cow, get eggs from a chicken, and even help a baby cow being born.
CJ stayed about twenty minutes regaling the students with tales from the farm, before Ms. Beal informed them that it was time for them to go to the lunchroom. CJ had never heard her students complain about lunchtime before, and it warmed her heart that they did not want her to leave. She promised them all that she would come back and visit them again.
Walking back to her car, CJ got inside, put her head down on the steering wheel and cried. She missed teaching, but it was apparent she had been replaced. If she wanted to teach again, she was going to have to find a position somewhere else.
*****
Steve lay on his bed, smoking a cigarette and staring at the ceiling. He glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand. It read midnight. He’d have to get up in about four hours to milk. He took another hit off his cigarette and exhaled the smoke. It would be another sleepless night. How many more of these could he take? He was exhausted, physically and emotionally and still he couldn’t turn his brain off.
He missed her. God, but he missed her. He wished he could believe there was a chance she’d come back, but he knew better. She had a life, a family, a man…
Shit.
He closed his eyes, not wanting to even think about her with another man. This guy loved her enough to put a ring on her finger. He must have been out of his mind with worry when she’d disappeared. Steve knew he, himself had been. When he thought about how close they came to not getting to her in time…of what that deputy had planned for her…
He put out his cigarette and rolled over. It was no use tormenting himself like this. She was gone, out of his life forever. He had to accept it and move on. How long did it take for a heart to heal? It had taken years for him to get over losing Rita. Could he go through that again?
Did he have a choice?
And that was what kept him up all night, every night. Wondering if there was anything he could do, any way to win her back. If he dared to go after her to tell her how he felt, could he stand it if she rejected him? What was he thinking? She’d made her choice when she’d left.
Steve punched his pillow and as he did most nights, he stared at the digital clock.
*****
It was the week before Christmas and Dorothy was having her annual Christmas party. There was a huge tree in the foyer and the dining room table was laden with food, buffet style. There were silver punch bowls of eggnog and apple cider on the buffet and mistletoe hung in the entry.
CJ was busy making the rounds with her mother and being congratulated by everyone on her upcoming nuptials. All were glad she was home safe, after her ordeal, as they called it.
A server passed by with a tray of white wine and CJ took one. It was a lovely party, but she felt like she was on display. Everyone wanted to hear the story of what had happened to her. Everyone wanted to know how she was doing. She felt like she was under a microscope and that they were all waiting for her to crack up.
She excused herself and headed toward the back of the house to get some air. She passed her father’s study, where she could overhear political discussions and smell the aroma of cigars. She smiled and headed back toward the kitchen and out a side door onto the patio.
She took a deep breath of the crisp night air and rubbed her bare arms. She walked to the edge of the patio and sat on the cement balustrade that surrounded it. There was a formal, tall hedge garden beyond and a rose garden inside it.
CJ could hear voices coming from the garden and then she heard a woman’s soft giggle. She smiled, wondering who had snuck off for some romance.
And then the voices carried upon the night breeze.
“Mark, you devil!” Stop that.”
Every hair on CJ’s skin stood up.
“You like it. Don’t play so hard to get, Tina.”
There were more feminine giggles. CJ stood up and went down the steps into the garden. She followed the sound around several hedges and peeked around one. There stood Mark, his arms around a beautiful redhead. A woman CJ seemed to remember having been introduced to just this evening. She worked at Mark’s law firm.
CJ felt the world spin. She turned and ran back into the house. Her mother was there
in the hall, speaking with one of the serving staff. She saw CJ fly by with tears in her eyes and run upstairs.
“CJ, darling, what is it?”
CJ never stopped. Dorothy looked at the door she’d come through. “Excuse me a moment,” she said to the servant and headed out the door. She stepped out onto the patio, expecting to find Mark, perhaps. But there was no one there. She turned to head back inside, when she suddenly saw a woman coming from the hedge, adjusting her dress as she came.
Dorothy hid behind a giant potted shrub and watched as the woman went back into the house. What in the world? A moment later, Mark stepped out of the hedge, adjusting his tie.
Well, well. A wolf eventually shows his true colors. Dorothy stepped out from behind the shrub and startled Mark.
“Dorothy! I…I didn’t see you there.”
“No, I can see that you didn’t. Neither of you.”
“Oh, you don’t understand. It’s not what you think. I was just showing her the gardens.”
Dorothy turned and headed to the door.
“Dorothy, wait. I swear…”
The door slammed in his face.
Dorothy tapped on CJ’s door. She didn’t wait for a reply. She walked in and found CJ rummaging through her dresser drawers. Dorothy watched as she took a handful of items, walked over, and shoved them into the open suitcase lying on the bed.
“CJ, are you all right?” her mother asked, sitting on the edge of the bed, next to the suitcase.
“I’m fine. Never been better.”
Dorothy looked down at the suitcase as CJ made another trip to the dresser. “Are you going somewhere, darling?”
“Yep.”
“Yep?”
“Sorry, Mother. I guess I picked up the accent this summer.”
“You’re going back?”
“I’ve been invited to a wedding and I’ve decided to attend.” CJ headed into the walk-in closet. A moment later she returned with an armful of clothes and tossed them on the bed.
Dorothy looked up. “I think that’s a very good idea.”
CJ was standing by the bed, yanking items off hangers and tossing them into the suitcase. A pile of empty hangers was forming on the floor as she tossed them aside. She stopped when she heard what her mother had said. “What?”