He whistled and two men came running. He issued quick instructions to them and they raced away again. "I want you to try it now so you don't delay us further in the morning."
K'lrsa laughed. "You want me to ride in that? No. I'm a Rider. Give me a horse."
Harley turned on her, his hand raised to slap her, but stopped himself at the last moment. "Desert Princess, indeed," he drawled, his eyes as cold as the deepest desert night. He stepped forward until she felt the spit from each word landing on her skin. "Do you see a bunch of spare horses lying around, Princess?"
She backed up but he stepped even closer, his scarred lip twisting upward as he spoke, the stench of his breath as awful as the look in his eyes. "You have two choices. Walk with the slaves. Or ride in this."
K'lrsa was about to say that she'd prefer to walk when he leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Keep in mind, Princess, that if you choose to walk, then you choose to be the lowest of my slaves, a piece of trash I'll sell at the first chance. You ride, you're a rare commodity. Worth protecting. You walk, you're nothing."
He stepped back. "Your choice, Princess. Choose wisely." He started to walk away and then turned back to her. "Oh. And if you choose to walk and one of my men decides to take a special interest in you before we reach Crossroads, well…" He shrugged. "What do I care?"
She thought of the comments the men had made about G'van and of the way he'd wanted to take her for himself the day before and shivered.
He wasn't courting her now. Who knew what he might do.
As Harley walked away, K'lrsa called, "And what of the person who was riding in it before?"
He shrugged. "I only have room for one princess. The northern girl can walk with the slaves tomorrow. Fat lot of good she'll do me with all those burns anyway."
K'lrsa sat at Lodie's fire and studied the bandaged girl who shivered slightly even though the day was already warm. Her skin, where it was actually visible, glistened with the sweat of fever. Sun sickness.
It was amazing the girl wasn't already dead. Surely she'd die within a day if she had to walk.
Then again, she might die no matter what.
And by then it would be too late for K'lrsa. She'd just be one of the many slaves stumbling along in the dust of the desert, trying not to die.
If K'lrsa wanted her revenge, she had to take the girl's place.
She rubbed her arms. Could she do that? Could she really make this choice knowing the girl would likely die because of it?
It was easy to say she'd sacrifice her own life to avenge her father. But could she sacrifice a stranger's?
Chapter 22
As they ate dinner over a bowl of millet and sour greens, K'lrsa told Lodie about Harley's visit.
"It's not an easy road." Lodie took another bite of food, staring into the fire.
"What isn't?"
"Revenge. Oh, it's easy if you can strike back right away. A man kills your child, you kill him, it's over in a moment. But a revenge like yours? Or mine? One that takes time? That's harder." She set aside her half-eaten bowl of food, still staring into the fire as if she could see a whole world hidden there. "It's like cradling a torch to your breast. You have to nurture the fire every moment of every day. You have to let it consume everything else—your family, your friends, your future."
She finally looked at K'lrsa, her eyes black in the gathering dark of night. "It's not for everyone."
"You did it." K'lrsa forced herself to take another bite. She wasn't hungry, but she needed to keep up her strength.
Lodie nodded. "I did. But I almost turned back more than once."
"What kept you going?"
Lodie snorted. "I'd already sacrificed too much to quit. At some point, revenge became all that was left to me. It was either turn back and have everything be for naught or continue and at least succeed in what I'd set out to do." She put a plug of bitter root in her mouth. "Even if victory was meaningless by the end."
"What do you mean?"
Lodie spat to the side. "Pzah, girl. You ask too many questions. Can't an old woman eat in peace?"
They sat there for a long time in silence as the last light of day leached from the sky and the moon made her appearance on the far horizon.
K'lrsa couldn't hold her questions back anymore. "Would you do it again if given the choice?"
Lodie shook her head and stood. "Don't ask that question. Never ask that question. Down that road lies madness. There's only the life you've chosen to live. You can go forward on the path you're on or you can choose a new one. But you can never go back. Don't look behind. It's too late for that." She stormed away into the darkness, shaking her head, her shoulders tense with anger.
K'lrsa waited for her to return. She watched the fire sputter and die, deprived of the fuel it needed to keep going.
She thought about what Lodie had said. Already she felt the initial anger at her father's death growing cold. Her rage was a slow simmer now instead of the all-consuming fire it had been the day she found him.
How long until it sputtered away and died into nothing?
Could she sustain it long enough to avenge him?
Another week? Yes. Another month? Maybe. Another year? Or two? Or ten? She didn't know.
What could she use to keep it alive? Who or what would she have to sacrifice before she reached her goal?
And would it be worth it in the end? What if she failed?
Worse yet, what if she succeeded and it meant nothing to her by then?
She pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them tight to her body as she stared at the bandaged girl's tent.
Chapter 23
She didn't sleep at all that night. She was too scared to dream.
She didn't want to see the young man again and be reminded of what she was sacrificing if she continued down this path.
She didn't want to see the Lady Moon again.
She filled her mind with the image of her father in his final moments, dwelling on every single detail over and over again until it was etched into her memory like a branding iron. His eyes, his hands, the wound in his belly. The last words he'd uttered to her, begging for her to kill him.
Over and over again she heard him, saw him, until the tears streamed down her face and sobs choked her.
She had to avenge him. She had to stop the Daliphate.
When Harley came to find her in the morning and said, "So, Princess. What's it to be? Ride or walk?" she met his eyes without flinching.
"Ride."
She forced herself to watch as they led the young woman away to join the other slaves. The girl had grown even more frail in just the two days K'lrsa had been in camp. She limped along at Harley's side, her eyes focused on the ground as he led her to the huddled mass of slaves on the other side of camp.
K'lrsa felt nothing.
She couldn't. Not anymore.
She'd chosen her path and she wouldn't turn back.
Not now.
Not ever.
By midday, K'lrsa almost regretted the decision to ride. The cloth contraption captured and focused all the heat of the desert, baking her like a spit-roasted hare. With each step, the entire thing swayed dangerously from side to side, threatening to collapse at any moment. She tried to adjust to the lurching movement, but each new step threw her in a different direction as her mounts traversed the sand dunes with their uneven gait.
She opened the curtains to get some fresh air, but all that did was let in the dust of the caravan's passage.
Up ahead, Harley rode side-by-side with G'van, who was laughing at something Harley had just said. Behind them were the four large wagons. According to Lodie, each one held expensive spices and fabrics worth more than K'lrsa's entire tribe had ever seen. Lodie rode on the front of the lead wagon, Fallion walking along beside her. He still limped slightly, but much less than the day before.
K'lrsa rode behind the wagons. And behind her were the slaves, straggling along in a long line, the caravan guards riding the perim
eter like a swarm of locusts.
The slaves shuffled forward, their eyes closed against the dust of the caravan's passage. Most looked young, but they were so skinny and so dirty it was hard to tell. All were men.
Except for the blonde girl.
She stumbled along at the very end, barely able to keep up with the others, her mouth set in a firm line as she put one step in front of the other. At any moment K'lrsa expected her to fall, never to recover, but she didn't. She kept going, step after step.
K'lrsa watched her through the rest of the day, amazed by the woman's resilience. More than once she tripped on the soft sand, but each time she recovered and kept going. Her expression never changed, her pace never slackened.
Just like when Harley had taken her away. She hadn't cried out or cussed or screamed or collapsed. She'd just kept going.
Step after step.
K'lrsa let the curtain fall and curled into a ball, wondering if she'd made the right decision.
She grasped her moon stone and prayed for the Lady Moon's guidance, but the stone was cold against her skin.
Had her gods already abandoned her?
She squeezed her eyes shut against the fears and doubts that crept into her mind.
She was a Rider. No one could take that from her. Look at the blonde woman. If she could be that strong, so could K'lrsa. She'd do what that woman was doing, continue forward one step at a time.
Chapter 24
They stopped that night in the midst of a large flat area that had once been fertile plains but was now just more desert. The Black Horse Tribe had no plains lands left. Five generations back they'd adopted city ways, trying to force the land in a direction it wouldn't go, and destroyed it as a result.
No wonder they'd turned to trading with the men of the Daliphate. What other choice had they had?
The sky over the distant mountains was a dark orange and purple, like a bruise, as they made camp. The men worked in silence while Harley walked among them shouting unnecessary orders and cuffing those who moved too slow.
K'lrsa hid behind Fallion's comforting bulk, watching Lodie as she checked on his wound.
Lodie shook her head. "Don't mind Harley. He's just angry at the delay. We stopped far more than normal today so we didn't reach our usual campground. This area is barren—no wood or fuel of any sort for leagues. It'll be cold rations and cold beds tonight."
Fallion's wound was almost completely healed—the only sign he'd been injured was a slight puckering of the skin around Lodie's stitches. Even after the day's riding it looked ten times better than it had that morning. She sent a quick thank-you to the Lady Moon.
"We could go faster tomorrow, couldn't we? Fallion's almost fully healed now." K'lrsa scratched his nose and laughed as he nuzzled her ear.
Lodie gave her a long, searching look. "And what of the other slaves? The ones who have to walk every day? How will they do if we go faster?"
K'lrsa glanced across the camp to where the bandaged girl lay. She'd collapsed as soon as they called a halt, curling into a small ball on the edge of the camp. She hadn't even tried to get food or water.
"That's why we kept stopping today. It wasn't for Fallion. You did it for her."
"I did it for all of them."
Lodie grabbed her medicine bag and headed towards the slaves.
K'lrsa thought about following and offering to help, but she turned away instead. She couldn't bear to see their suffering up close. She didn't want to see the dirt-covered faces and dead eyes.
One small twist of fate and she would be one of them.
She crept into her tent—a tent that had once belonged to the bandaged girl—and sat cross-legged in the center.
She blanked her mind, repeating the Pattern over and over until she lost herself in the Core, floating in a place outside of time and emotion.
She couldn't let that girl, or anyone's, suffering affect her. She had to stay focused on her goal. It was all that mattered.
She refused to think. Refused to feel.
She couldn't.
It would destroy her.
The moon was directly above camp when K'lrsa finally emerged from her tent, hunger pangs cramping her belly.
Lodie sat in front of her own tent, the blonde girl asleep on the ground next to her. There was no fire, but the moon was bright enough to cast everything in a soft silver light.
K'lrsa glanced towards the main camp. The men were still awake—talking and drinking, some standing in line outside the main tent. Inside that tent was the only other woman in the camp. A slave girl Harley had brought along to keep the men amused. K'lrsa blocked her ears to the sounds that came from the tent, not wanting to think about how easily that could've been her.
Or the bandaged girl who slept at Lodie's feet in that careless way that only children can. In sleep she had the same soft innocence as M'lara.
M'lara who K'lrsa had abandoned without a thought. M'lara who slept alone tonight, her father dead, her sister gone without a word.
What had K'lrsa done? And all so she could kill some man she'd never met?
K'lrsa took the toughened piece of meat Lodie offered and sat down to eat in silence. The girl whimpered suddenly, curling in on herself and Lodie reached down to stroke her forehead until she once more relaxed into peaceful slumber.
At K'lrsa's questioning look, Lodie shrugged. "My skill works on children, too."
Lightning struck on the horizon and K'lrsa grabbed her moon stone to see if the storm would make it as far as their camp, but the stone was cool to her touch, devoid of its usual comforting presence.
She let it go. She'd never realized what a silent source of support it was until it was gone.
Lodie took another bite of her own meal. "I told you. The Daliphate is no place for our gods. The sun is weak there. The moon hidden in haze."
"But we're not even in the Daliphate yet. Are we?"
Lodie shook her head. "No. But the Black Horse Tribe long ago abandoned our gods. It might as well be the Daliphate for all the gods care."
K'lrsa continued to eat in silence, her teeth grinding the hard meat into smaller and smaller pieces as she stared at the sleeping young girl.
"You made the only choice you could, child." Lodie's voice was soft, almost kind.
"Did I?"
The girl whimpered again and Lodie reached down to stroke her hair back from her face. "Once the sun claimed her, she was never going to be Harley's northern princess. He could never sell her where he wanted."
Lodie's lips twitched into a small smile. "Do you know that she killed six men the night they took her from her family? She's as strong as a desert cat." Her voice was full of pride.
She soothed the girl's whimpering once more. "If she survives to Crossroads they'll either kill her or break her. Perhaps it's best that she dies before then. On her own terms, fighting until the end."
"Best that they never captured her."
Lodie met K'lrsa's gaze and shook her head slightly. "I told you. You can never go back. None of us can. She's just like the rest of us. She can only move forward from today."
K'lrsa remembered the girl walking across the desert, one step after the other, moving forward with silent determination. "She survived today. She kept going."
"Yes."
"And she'll do the same tomorrow."
"Yes."
"And the next and the next until we reach Crossroads."
"Yes." Lodie's answer was so soft it was almost a whisper.
"And then they'll break her or kill her. Because of me."
Lodie shrugged. "Her path is hers. Yours is yours."
"But I made her path harder."
Lodie spat a gob of bitter root onto the ground between them. "Quit looking backward. You did what you had to. It's done. All you can do now is make sure it was worth it."
"It was." K'lrsa would succeed. Failure was not an option.
Lodie laughed, a sound like two grel fighting. "Oh, child. Such certainty…" She
stood, still laughing to herself, and disappeared into her tent.
K'lrsa glared after the woman.
"You can laugh all you want, old hag, but I will succeed," she whispered, tearing off another piece of dried meat and grinding it between her teeth.
Chapter 25
Three mornings later, K'lrsa watched as Lodie removed Fallion's bandage to show Harley the fully-healed wound. All that remained was a thin white line against his golden coat. She could barely tell he'd been injured.
She knew Lodie had been hoping to slow their progress one more day, but Harley was too shrewd. He'd watched Fallion the day before, circling back throughout the day to study Fallion as he walked across the hard-packed dirt. And this morning he'd demanded to inspect the wound himself.
"He's healed. We'll double our pace today."
Lodie crumpled the bandage between her hands. "He needs one more day of slow travel just to be sure."
"Don't lie to me, woman. He's fine now."
Lodie glared down at Harley. "Who's the healer, Harley? You or me?"
He glared right back at her. "Who's the slave, Lodie? You or me?"
They stood like that, glaring at each other, both taut as a bowstring ready for release until K'lrsa was ready to scream. Finally, Lodie looked away.
K'lrsa was surprised the woman would back down from anyone, but Harley nodded to himself with satisfaction. "Finish packing up. We ride hard today. I want out of this cursed place before the sun sets."
The day before, they'd crossed out of desert and into a dried-out wasteland—the dirt cracked and barren, no animals or plants visible anywhere. The skids on the wagons had been changed out and replaced with wheels before they continued. It was a miserable day of travel, dirty and hot, everyone choking on the dust kicked up by the never-ending wind.
Lodie said they usually crossed the space in one day and had never had to camp there before, but the area seemed like it would never end.
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