by Amelia Grey
Esmeralda nodded and then disappeared into a room.
He waited only a few moments, and Josephine walked out in a gray quilted dressing gown. Her red hair hung limp and tangled about her shoulders. Her eyes were swollen and her nose and cheeks were red. At that moment, Griffin knew he loved her as much as he loved Sara and Vera. Josephine was his sister too. He wanted to take care of her so that she never had a reason to cry again. And, as he had with Esmeralda, he’d see to it that she never wore the unattractive color gray again either.
She curtsied. “Good evening, Your Grace.”
He bowed. “Josephine. I’ve come to see you how are you doing.”
“All right, I guess.”
“I’ll put a kettle on the fire and heat some chocolate,” Esmeralda said and then glanced at him for the first time that evening. “I’m sorry I don’t have anything stronger to offer you.”
Her gaze was weary and wary. A stab of self-inflicted pain tightened his chest, and he knew he never wanted Esmeralda to be wary of him again.
“Chocolate’s fine,” he said softly and when she turned away, he looked at Josephine and said, “Will you come sit with me on the settee?”
She nodded, and he waited until she made herself comfortable with her hands folded in her lap before he settled himself beside her.
“It’s been a sad couple of days for you, hasn’t it?”
She nodded again but didn’t speak.
“I didn’t know what had happened to Napoleon until earlier today. I would have come yesterday if I’d known.”
“It’s all right,” she said in a very grown-up voice. “I didn’t want to see anyone yesterday.”
“Still, it’s my own fault I didn’t know sooner.” His gaze traveled over to where Esmeralda stood with her back to him. He knew she heard him, though she gave no indication. Hopefully she knew he was admitting he’d been wrong yesterday to dismiss her before he’d heard a full explanation of what had happened.
Giving his attention back to Josephine, he said, “I found out where Mr. Chambers lives and I went to see him today. I wanted to get Napoleon back for you, but I couldn’t.” Damn, he hated telling her that. “Mr. Chambers had already left to take Napoleon to Manchester. I’m going there to find him as soon as I leave here, but I had to come check on you first and make sure you’re all right. I want you to know I’m not coming back until I have Napoleon with me.”
“No.” She sniffed, looking up at him with her big green eyes. “I can’t let you take him away from another girl. That would make you as mean as Mr. Chambers.”
Griffin tried to swallow, but a lump had formed in his throat. “I don’t mind.”
Josephine’s lashes became moist. “But I don’t want you that mean, Your Grace,” she said softly. “I like you the way you are.”
The lump grew. “I will get him for you,” Griffin promised passionately.
“No,” she said again and shook her head. “She had him first.”
Griffin glanced down at Josephine’s hands resting in her lap. They were small. Clasped. Steady. She had thought through her feelings and knew what she was saying.
“He wasn’t mine anyway,” she continued, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. “I always knew he belonged to someone else. I was just keeping him safe until we found his owner. Besides, I don’t want her feeling the way I do right now. She’d probably feel worse than I do right now if she lost him again, because she’d be losing him twice.”
Griffin was never at a loss for words, but Josephine had him mute for a few seconds. She was being more rational and thoughtful than a lot of adults he’d known.
He praised her by saying, “That’s a very brave way to think about this.”
“It’s my fault anyway. I disobeyed you and Essie by going out of the back gate when you told me not to. Mr. Chambers would have never seen Napoleon if I hadn’t gone out.”
“We all do things we’re not supposed to do sometimes. I know I’ve been guilty of it more times than I can count.”
“But it hurts really bad.”
“I know,” he said softly.
She threw his arms around his neck and started sobbing. He pulled her slight body into his embrace and pressed her cheek against the soft velvet of his waistcoat. Her shoulders shook with wracking sobs. She poured her heart out with deep, loud crying. Griffin wanted to find Chambers and strangle him for taking Napoleon away from Josephine.
“Cry as long as you want to,” he whispered to Josephine, brushing her hair with his hand, kissing the top of her head as he would Vera’s or Sara’s. “I’m going to be right here holding you.”
He felt Esmeralda come up to stand beside them and glanced over his shoulder to her. Her eyes were filled with tears too. The only comfort he could offer her right now was compassion for the little girl he was holding, and he hoped she saw that in his face.
A sudden feeling of peace about life swept over him. The reason was standing right beside him. Esmeralda. Without a stirring of doubt, he knew he loved her with all his heart, his body, his mind, and his soul. There had been many women in his life, too many to count, but none of them had ever touched him like Esmeralda had. His love for her was the reason he couldn’t stop thinking about her, couldn’t stop wanting her, couldn’t stop wanting her to want him. She was a part of him. She was his other half. His soul mate. He would find a way to make her believe that he loved her and that she loved him, too. For now, all he could do was hold her sister and let her cry.
Long after Josephine fell asleep, Griffin continued to hold her tightly in his arms. He finally looked up when he heard Esmeralda bend down to whisper, “Put her to bed, and then I’ll show you out.”
Chapter 28
Don’t hesitate to forgive, and then do forget.
MISS MAMIE FORTESCUE’S DO’S AND DON’TS FOR CHAPERONES, GOVERNESSES, TUTORS, AND NURSES
It had been a hellish two days.
It was so unfair that some people went through life seeming to always have so many wonderful things happen to them while others were all too often neglected and left on their own by the cruel hand of fate. Josephine had lost her mother and her father way too young. It wasn’t right that she’d lost Napoleon too.
Esmeralda had been devastated for her sister but had remained strong for her too, just as she had when Josephine’s father had died. When Griffin had arrived half an hour earlier it was easy to weaken, to let go of the tight control she had on her emotions and allow him be the strong one. While Josephine cried in the Duke’s arms, Esmeralda had silently cried too. In those minutes, she’d been overcome by his compassion for her sister. His kindheartedness had filled her with so much love for him it swelled in her chest until she ached.
“She’ll probably sleep through the night now,” Griffin said as they walked back into the main room.
“Probably,” Esmeralda answered curtly, refusing to look at him and walking straight to the door that led to the stairway. If she didn’t talk to him, if she didn’t stare into his blue eyes, she could tell herself she didn’t love him. Every time her gaze caught sight of his, it was impossible to lie to herself and deny it. She hadn’t wanted to leave her heart with him when she left his employ, but that’s exactly what had happened.
Griffin stopped beside her. So close she inhaled his scent, felt his warmth. It made her want to bury her face in his chest so he could console her the way he had Josephine. But suddenly consumed by the unfairness of life, instead of seeking the solace she needed, in a rush of words and emotions too deep to contemplate or understand, she said, “I don’t care what Josephine says. I don’t care how mature she sounded, or how brave you think she is about doing the right thing, I want you to go and get Napoleon back for her.”
A muscle twitched in the side of his mouth. “Esmeralda?” he said softly.
“No, don’t say it,” she whispered on a winded gasp of despair that pushed from her aching lungs. “You don’t understand. Finding Napoleon helped her get over her father’s
death. He means the world to her. I don’t want her to hurt anymore. I want her to have Napoleon back.”
“I want that for her too. But I believe she meant it when she said she didn’t want the other little girl to lose him again.”
“I don’t care about the other little girl.” Esmeralda swallowed a sob. “I only care about Josephine.”
“You don’t mean that, Esmeralda.”
“I do,” she said earnestly, her heartbeat surging inside her chest, her shoulders shaking from holding tears at bay once again. “I do mean it. Josephine’s been hurt enough. Too much, and I’m asking you to get him back for her.”
His eyes remained soft, his expression concerned. “Josephine is going to be fine. She’s thought this through. She’s made her decision, and it was her decision to make.”
He was making too much sense for her distraught state. She didn’t want to hear it. Defying his claim, she argued, “Josephine is twelve. She doesn’t know what she wants, and she doesn’t know what’s best for her. I do.”
“I would try to move heaven and earth for her if she wanted me to, but I won’t go against her wishes.”
“Fine,” Esmeralda whispered, brushing away strands of hair that had fallen to the side of her face. “I’ll find a way to get Napoleon back for her by myself.”
“You don’t want to do that, Esmeralda.” He spoke softly.
“I will,” she insisted.
“I don’t know what kind of man Chambers is, but as far as I’m concerned only a monster would take a dog from a crying girl’s arms and run away with it. You aren’t that kind of person, Esmeralda. You couldn’t take Napoleon from another child and leave her with the pain Josephine is enduring.”
But she wanted to.
Oh, she hated it when he was right. And he was right again. She had to let go of Napoleon the way Josephine, had but it was so hard to watch her sister suffer again.
“Just go, please,” Esmeralda said. “Leave us alone.”
“You don’t want me to go.”
She lifted her chin and sniffed. “You’re wrong. I do.”
“Then prove it. Open the door.”
Her chest heaved with emotion. She looked at the door but didn’t make a move.
Why was he making it her choice whether he left? He must know she didn’t really want him to go. For heaven’s sake, why didn’t he take the decision from her and either leave or sweep her into his arms and carry her into her bedchamber?
Time stretched on. Neither of them moved. She could tell herself all day long, and all night too, that she didn’t love him, that she didn’t want to be in his arms, but that wouldn’t make it true.
“If you want me to go, open the door, and I’ll go out it. But know this, Esmeralda, I’ll be back tomorrow and the next day and the next.”
“Don’t do this to me, Griffin. You know I can’t resist you.”
“Then let me hold you.”
His strong, masculine arms went around her, pulling her gently against him. He put his hand to the back of her head, cupping her to his chest and sealing her inside the comfort of his embrace. Esmeralda closed her eyes and leaned against his warmth, his strength, and hid her face in his shirt.
Griffin’s clothing was still damp from Josephine’s tears. After kissing the top of her head, he laid his cheek against her hair. One hand moved soothingly up and down her back, over her shoulders, and around her neck. She heard the steady beat of his heart, and relaxed.
“You can cry if you want,” he murmured. “Or I can just hold you until you fall asleep.”
There were no more tears to be shed. All the emotions of despair, anger, and revenge swirling around inside her were impossible to fathom, so she didn’t try. She must let all go. All of them. The only emotion she kept was her love for Griffin. It welled up inside her and wouldn’t be denied.
Esmeralda moistened her lips and raised her head. “Will you kiss me?”
He looked down into her eyes and, saying nothing, slid a hand to the back of her neck. Dipping his head, he covered her mouth with his in a long, gentle, and sweet kiss.
“Is that what you wanted?”
She nodded.
“Now, will you kiss me?”
Letting her shawl drop to the floor, she rose up on her toes to palm each side of his face with her hands and kissed his lips, the tip of his nose, each cheek, and his closed eyelids before resting flat on her feet again.
She smiled. “Is that what you wanted?”
“It’s a start, but I want more.”
Griffin caught her up in his arms and captured her open lips with his. Esmeralda gloried in a passionate, desperate kiss. Their tongues swirled in each other’s mouths while their bodies strained to get closer. Griffin’s hands moved up her ribcage to fondle her breasts with eager yet soothing, titillating strokes.
She moaned softly. His fingers found her nipples hidden beneath the layers of her clothing. At his touch, ripples of desire flooded her. Pleasure swept down her body and settled into her most womanly part.
Reluctantly, leaning away from him, she looked up into his eyes and said, “Josephine is asleep now, but she could awaken and leave her bed. Will you come with me into my room? I can lock the door.”
Surprise glinted in his eyes. “I want nothing more than to go with you, but I’m not asking this from you tonight, my love.”
My love. Oh, such endearing words that made her heart soar. From the first day she’d met him, he’d said things to make her feel as if she belonged to only him.
Esmeralda knew there could be life-altering consequences for what she wanted. Griffin could walk out her door and never see her again. Their night together could leave her in the family way. She knew the risks. Perhaps she should, but right now she didn’t want to contemplate either of those possibilities. He had made it clear he desired her. He had said he couldn’t touch her because she was in his employ. Now, she no longer was. And she wanted to have this night with him.
“I know. I’m asking you.” Entwining her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer, smiled shyly, and said, “But I won’t force you. I will never force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”
He chuckled softly, attractively. “You have a bad habit of using my own words against me. You will not ever have to force me to do this.”
He swooped down and covered her mouth with his in a ravishing kiss that stole her breath. Esmeralda knew no matter the consequences, no matter the future, she’d made the right decision for tonight. Their kissing continued and she started walking backward, toward her room while pulling the tail of his shirt from the waistband of his trousers. It seemed natural to want to feel his skin beneath her hands. When her back hit the door, he reached around her, opened it just enough for them to enter, then closed and locked it behind them.
Light from a shadowed moon shone through a window. “The room is small,” she whispered against his lips. “And so is the bed.”
“All I need is you.”
All I need is you.
Yes, he knew exactly what she wanted to hear.
Griffin shrugged out of his coat while Esmeralda untied his neckcloth, wound it from around his neck, and tossed it away. He yanked the rest of his shirt out of his trousers and pulled it over his head, sending it the way of the neckcloth. Her breaths quickened at the sight of the strong chest and broad shoulders before her. In the dim light, she wished for more to better see his beauty. She would make do with just touching him. It was a glorious feeling to feather her hands up his rippled ribs and across the smooth, firm skin of his chest and shoulders.
Taking her into his arms again, Griffin hissed with pleasure at her caresses and claimed her lips with a searing kiss while his hands worked the laces at the back of her bodice. It fell away from her shoulders, and he helped slip it off her arms and over her head. He reached around her and untied her skirt, letting it drop to the floor. Quickly they made short work of removing her stays, shift, drawers, and the rest of his clothing and
boots too.
When they both stood bare before each other, Griffin brushed his fingertips softly down her cheek to her breast before pulling her into his arms. Cool, soft breasts met warm, strong chest. It was the most heavenly feeling Esmeralda could imagine experiencing. His confident hands moved across her shoulders all the way down her back and over her buttocks. Her untutored hands explored down the length of his chest, his midriff, his lean narrow hips, and around to his manhood.
“Yes,” he murmured into her mouth, and then hooked his arm under her legs, picked her up, and carried her over to the bed to lay her down.
Griffin stretched his lean body beside her and rose over her to look into her eyes for a long moment before his gaze drifted down her face and lingered over her breasts, her body, before sweeping back up to her eyes again.
“You’re beautiful,” he said huskily.
She smiled. “It’s too dark in here. You can’t see me.”
He grunted a short laugh. “If it makes you feel better to think that, go ahead. My eyes have adjusted to the light. I can see you.”
What he said was true. She saw his desire for her in his eyes.
“Do you know what to expect?” he asked.
“Not entirely, but I’ve found with you that nature and instinct have a way of taking over.
“And so they shall.”
Griffin kissed her tenderly, slowly, while the pads of his fingers traveled over her chin and down to rest in the hollow at the base of her neck. A tremor of expectancy shivered through her. He kissed her soft and long. Sweet and soothing. Without letting his lips leave her skin, he kissed the path his fingers had walked and then moved back up to her lips again and showered her with short, eager kisses.
While they kissed, one hand slipped down her body to her breast. He palmed it, gently squeezed and felt its weight. The thrill of his touch was shattering to her senses. His lips left hers and glided across her cheek, over her chin, and to the soft, sweet skin behind her ear. He kissed his way down her chest and across her shoulders to her breast again, covering her nipple with his mouth, and gently sucked. Delightful shivers of pleasure tingled along her spine, down her abdomen to settle and gather between her legs.