“Stay away from me,” she typed. He didn’t reply. She put her phone on the floor again and closed her eyes, but there was no escaping the feeling that he was right there beside her. An unexpected sensation of warmth and calmness invaded her heart. She felt her body slowly surrender to numbness before she fell asleep. And there was Samil standing in front of her. There was only darkness around him allowing her to see nothing but him. He stretched his hand to her.
“Come,” he said gently. “It’s about time you stop avoiding me.”
Alexis felt no fear, and unlike she would do if she were awake, she gave her hand to him. When their hands touched, she got a shock. She quickly pulled her hand.
He smiled. “Too much energy,” he winked. “Let’s try again.” This time instead of stretching his hand to her, he got closer, his fingertips touched hers, caressing her fingers up and down, his eyes fixed on hers with a look that mixed affection and pain until he finally held her hand. Alexis felt her body burn. She didn’t move. She was sure that if she gave a step forward with him, there would be no going back. “Alexis, come with me,” he begged.
“No,” she pulled her hand. “Get out of my head. I did not give you permission to get in”, she said harshly.
“We both know that is not true,” he said disappointedly. “I cannot prove to you that you can trust me if you don’t let me. What do I have to do to be worthy of your trust?”
Alexis didn’t need to think twice to answer that question. “Make yourself vulnerable to me,” she said firmly.
“I am,” he said promptly.
“Let me hurt you.” That was a sentence she never thought she would say, but she needed to know that there was a way to defend herself from him if needed. He would have to put his guard down if he wanted her to give him a chance.
He didn’t hesitate. If getting hurt was the price he had to pay to get to her, he would do it. “Whenever you want.” He opened his arms and waited.
She was surprised by his promptness. She closed her eyes and focused on the day she discovered that her father had a secret life. That was all it took; her magic was ready to be used. She opened her eyes and stared at him. She would have to suppress some or else she would seriously hurt him, and she didn’t want that. She heard a crack. There was no sign of pain on his face. She let a bit more of power escape from her. Suddenly, Samil took his hand to his stomach, fell on his knees, and spat more blood than Alexis had ever seen. “Samil!” she screamed and ran to him. “God.” She held his head. “Sam, look at me,” she said desperately. Tears ran down her face.
He got her hand and placed it on his stomach. “What about learning something new?” he asked faintly.
“Please,” she murmured, her eyes on his.
“Right now, you have my life in your hands, Alexis. I’ll never let this happen again, so you have a tough decision ahead,” he said weakly. “You can either kill me or save me.” He watched the impact of his words bring despair to her eyes. She was on edge.
“Samil,” she whispered. She regretted having hurt him. He was getting paler and paler.
“I know you’ve been wondering whether you are able to do good things with your skills. Everyone can do both good and bad things. It’s a choice. You can let me die or use your magic to heal me.”
“I don’t know how to do that,” she said crying.
“I’ll die then,” he said calmly.
“No, Samil, please, tell me what I have to do,” she begged.
“Find a good and powerful memory or find a reason to keep me alive, one that brings good feelings. It must stir strong emotions, or you won’t be able to access that side of your power,” he stopped talking. Speaking became nearly impossible. “Let it flow to me.” He tried to keep his eyes open, but he was about to faint. He felt his body touch the ground.
“Samil, stay with me,” she begged; he didn’t answer. She closed her eyes. He couldn’t die. She couldn’t let it happen. She had already tried using good memories to unleash her skills; it had been useless. She sobbed; he was barely breathing. She would have to try something else. She ran her fingers over the contour of his lips trying to imagine how warm his kiss probably was; she pictured his hands slowly wandering her body, the smoothness of his touch; she allowed herself to connect with her feelings for him and that was when she felt an adrenaline rush, but her hands did not burn. Instead, she felt as if her body had expanded. That was it; she had unleashed something else. She opened her eyes and looked at Samil’s body almost lifeless. She placed her hand on his stomach and let her energy flow to him. Alexis watched him regain color and his breathing become steady.
He opened his eyes and looked at her. She seemed relieved to see him well. He was pleased. “Thanks,” he said sincerely.
“How can you thank me? I almost killed you,” she said confusedly.
He sat leaving a short distance between them. “You could have let me die, Alexis. You chose not to. I’m thankful for that.”
“What do you want from me? Why would you risk your life to gain my trust? Why?” she asked urgently.
“I want you to be free to make your own choices without interference from anyone else, not even mine.”
“Why?" His answer made her even more confused.
“Because I need your help and if you let other people influence your decisions, then I’ll never get you on my side. I want you to be independent for selfish reasons, Alexis, but I am honest enough to tell you that. Are the others?" He knew she was not able to answer that question, but even so, he gave a short pause to allow her time to think. "Don’t you wonder why Ethan unleashed your skills through negativity and pain? Why didn’t he tell you that good feelings could do the trick? Am I really the one you should stay away from?” he asked seriously.
She didn’t know how to answer that question. So much had happened, she needed time. “I want to wake up,” she said firmly. He softly stroked her face. She opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling. She no longer felt his presence. He was gone.
XII
Alexis didn’t get any sleep. She couldn’t stop thinking about what she had done to Samil and the feelings she inexplicably had for him. Now she was sure that she was stronger than she could have imagined and that Samil was even more powerful than her. Samil’s questions about Ethan’s decision on how to unleash her skills repeatedly played in her head. She was convinced that she couldn’t trust anyone’s opinion or advice. She would have to decide by herself who could or could not be trusted. She got up, got dressed, went to the kitchen, and prepared breakfast.
Anna was surprised to see Alexis up so early. “Good morning. Are you feeling better?” she asked warmly.
“I’m fine, mom.” That was not a complete lie. She had no headache, but inside she was a mess.
“Are you ready to go to school?” Anna was worried. She had the feeling that there was something seriously wrong. Alexis was hiding something from her. She had never woken up early to go to school.
Alexis didn't hesitate to answer Anna's question. She had planned what to say. “Yes. I have to finish my homework, and I wanted to do that at school.”
“Okay. I’ll drive you.” Anna was not convinced.
“I’ll go to Adam’s after school. I need to talk to him about the event, okay?”
“No problem. Are you sure you’re okay?” Anna was bothered by the coldness in Alexis’s tone of voice.
“Yes.” Alexis knew that giving her mother such a short answer would not suffice. “I have a lot of things to do, so I’m a little too anxious, I guess,” she said sweetly as she looked at Anna for the first time. She had been avoiding eye contact, but she had to give her mom some reassurance. “Nothing to worry, mom.”
Anna acquiesced to Alexis’s words. They silently had breakfast and left. Alexis didn’t want to talk. The more she said, the more she lied. When she arrived at school, Ethan was already waiting for her, just as she expected him to be.
She walked to him. “We need to talk,” she said sharp
ly.
Ethan frowned. He hadn’t seen that coming. “What happened?” he asked worriedly.
“I tried to access my power in a different way, and it worked. Good feelings did the trick. Why would you trigger negative emotions to unleash my abilities?” She couldn't help feeling played by him, and that made her furious.
He gave her a sad smile. He knew what was happening. That was not her talking. “I’m training you, so you can protect yourself. The side of your magic that is awakened by goodness will not help you defend yourself from your enemies. I’m pretty sure you realized that,” he said bitterly.
She looked down and snorted. She felt stupid. His explanation made perfect sense. When it came to destroying things, good feelings seemed useless, but when she had to save Samil, they triggered the right side of her magic. She looked at him. “I’m sorry, Ethan.”
“Who told you that? Was it him?” he asked bluntly.
“No,” she lied. “I don’t need to be told things. I can come to conclusions myself,” she retorted.
“You can,” he said apologetically. He leaned in and kissed her. There was some resistance in her kiss. He had to do something to avoid taking the risk of losing her. “How about some training later? We can talk about anything you want. I won’t dodge.”
Knowing that he was willing to talk filled her with joy. She kissed him again. This time there was passion in her kiss. “Yes,” she whispered and bit his lip. Her hand went down from his neck to his waist. “Tonight.”
“Come to my place,” he said seductively, his hands going from her waist to the nape of her neck; his fingers went through her hair.
“I can’t,” she murmured. She wanted to though. “Come to my room tonight.”
“I will,” he purred. He stroked her back and kissed her once more.
“Well, well, well, you two should get a room,” said Mia critically. Even though Ethan wanted to respond, he thought it would be better to ignore the malice in Mia’s comment. Alexis didn’t respond either. “Has the cat gotten your tongue?” Mia asked maliciously.
Alexis frowned. “Good morning, Mia. It’s great to see you too,” she said sarcastically. She was not pleased with Mia’s behavior.
“Can we talk?” Mia asked sharply. Alexis kissed Ethan again and went inside with Mia.
“What are you doing?” asked Alexis furiously.
“What am I doing? Really? For Christ’s sake, Al. Have you forgotten everything we talked about yesterday?” asked Mia incredulously.
“No, I haven’t. You need to trust me, Mia, or else this won’t work,” she said firmly. She wouldn’t be able to tell things to Mia if she were not able to control herself. “I’m free to do whatever I want despite your opinion.”
“I know,” said Mia shyly. “I lost my temper. I’m sorry. I’m just so worried about your safety that… I wish they would all go away.”
“I appreciate your concern, Mia, I really do, but you can’t say whatever you want when we are around other people. Keep cool, please.”
“I will. Are we staying for class today?”
“Yes. Now let’s go.” On their way to class, Alexis saw Margaret and Samil, she had her back against a wall, and he had both of his hands on her waist, he seemed to be whispering something in her ear. Alexis had never wished anything bad to happen to anyone, but at that moment, she wanted Margaret dead. Before she could try to hold it back, Alexis felt a tremendous amount of power slip through her fingers. Samil quickly looked at her. She saw he bend a little. His breathing got shorter. He had taken the hit for Margaret.
“Are you okay?” asked Margaret worriedly. Samil seemed to be in great pain. He put his hand on the wall for support; his eyes fixed on Alexis.
“I’m fine,” he said calmly. “I’ll be right back.” He left Margaret and walked to Alexis. He was furious. “We need to talk now,” he demanded.
“I don’t think so,” said Ethan. Alexis was surprised to see that he was standing right behind her.
Samil gave a step forward. “This is none of your business, Ethan. You’d better stay out of it,” he hissed.
“If I were you, I’d walk back to your lady,” said Ethan defiantly.
“I hope you two realize that you are at school and that all eyes are on you right now,” said Mia trying to put an end to what was about to become a fist fight or something worse.
“She’s right,” said Alexis, she glanced at Samil and looked down. At the same time she felt horrible for having tried to hurt Margaret, she felt terrible for having failed.
“You…” Samil shook his head, his eyes fixed on her, “You have just proven yourself to be a waste of my time. Have a nice life,” he said bitterly. Not willing to give her a chance to defend herself, he turned around and walked away.
Alexis felt her eyes wet. Air was no longer getting in and out her lungs. She wanted to protest, but she became faint.
“Breath, Alexis,” said Ethan in concern, but she only got paler. “Breath,” he commanded. “Look at me,” he said firmly.
She deviated her eyes from Samil to look at Ethan. Things were distorted, she had trouble focusing. “What’s going on?” she asked weakly.
“Help her,” said Mia nervously.
Ethan got her in his arms and took her to the infirmary. The nurse in charge examined her and decided that it was better to call Anna and let her know that Alexis should go home.
“Your mom will pick you up,” said the nurse calmly.
“Could I wait here with her?” asked Ethan politely.
“Sure.”
He waited until they were alone to question Alexis. “What do you feel for him?” he asked sadly. He could tell that she had feelings for Samil, but it had never crossed his mind that they were as strong as she had just proved them to be.
Alexis was tired of lying. “I don’t know,” she said sincerely.
“I understand. Controlling what you see and how you feel is one of his many skills. Don’t let him fool you.” Ethan stroked her face. He got her hand and put it on his chest, so she could feel his heart beat. “This is real and you know it.” He leaned in and passionately kissed her. He got her hand and placed it on her chest, so she could feel her heart race. “This is real.”
“Tell me the truth, please,” she begged.
“About what, Al?” asked Ethan confused.
“About who I am and why you are here.”
“Your mother arrived, Alexis,” said the nurse interrupting them.
“I’ll meet you later,” he whispered. “We’ll talk, okay? Now go home and get some rest,” he said sweetly, but deep inside he was enraged. He would make killing Samil a priority.
Mia was waiting for her outside the infirmary. “Are you feeling better?”
“Yes. Can you walk with me to the car?” asked Alexis. She didn't want her mom to find out about Ethan like that.
“Of course,” said Mia promptly. “I’ll take it from here,” she said to Ethan. “Do you want me to go home with you?”
“No, I need to get some sleep. I didn’t sleep last night, I’m exhausted, but thanks, Mia.” Alexis hugged her.
When they left school, Anna ran to Alexis. “What happened? Are you all right?” she asked anxiously.
“I’m exhausted, mom. Please, take me home.” Alexis was heartbroken. She wanted to sleep for days and only wake up when all the pain she was feeling was gone. She didn’t say anything on her way home. When Anna opened the front door, Alexis went up to her bedroom.
“Al? Uh, do you want me to keep you company? Are you okay to be alone?” Anna was worried.
“I’m fine. I just need to get some sleep, please,” she pleaded.
“Sure.” Anna watched Alexis go to her room and texted Mia. She needed to know what had happened at school. Hopefully, it wouldn’t take Mia long to see her message.
Alexis closed her bedroom door. She got her phone, “Samil, please, let’s talk.” For five minutes, she did nothing but stare at her phone. “Samil, please, talk to
me. I’m so sorry.” Five more minutes, and nothing from him. “Samil.” The pain was unbearable. Alexis just wanted it to go away. She went to bed and cried herself to sleep.
A message beep woke her up. She quickly got her phone, but she was disappointed to see that it was Ethan. “How are you?”
“I’m fine,” she lied as usual. “Going to Adam’s in a few.”
“You should rest.”
“I’m going to Adam’s.” What Alexis really wanted to do was to visit Denise. She called her. She was glad when Denise said she could stop by. There had to be a way of finding Samil. Alexis went down. Anna was reading a book on the porch. “Mom, could you take me to Adam’s?”
Alexis’s sudden appearance startled Anna. She was not expecting to see Alexis up so soon. “Are you feeling better? I’m sure Adam won’t mind if you go tomorrow.”
“I’m fine, mom. I want to talk to Adam,” Alexis insisted. She would go crazy if she stayed at home. She had to find a way of contacting Samil.
Anna pondered for a while. Alexis didn’t look fine. She was clearly sad and exhausted, but as keeping her home would probably not do her any good, Anna agreed to drive her.
“How are things between you and Morgan?” asked Alexis curiously. She wanted to take the focus out of her.
“An hour ago, I’d say they were just fine, but he called to say that we have to talk. He’s stopping by tomorrow night. I…I have a bad feeling,” she said worriedly.
“He loves you, mom,” Alexis assured. She was pretty sure Anna had no reason to be concerned.
“I know that, but that’s not the only thing necessary for a healthy relationship. Sometimes, love is not even enough to sustain a relationship,” she said in a low voice.
“Maybe you are overreacting, anticipating the worst.” Alexis wished she could say the same about herself, but Samil had made himself quite clear.
“Maybe.” Anna wanted Alexis to be right, but something inside her made her sure that things wouldn’t go well in her conversation with Morgan. When they got to Adam’s, Alexis said that she would be back shortly, so Anna parked the car and waited outside. She checked her phone, but Mia hadn’t replied yet. She got her book and got back to reading it. Most likely, there would be enough time for her to read several pages before Alexis was done talking to Adam. She was wrong. She had barely finished reading two pages when Alexis came out.
The Defender (The Elkavians Book 1) Page 17