“The truth,” he said promptly.
“Excuse me?” she asked incredulously.
“Only the truth can protect her and your relationship with her. Show her who you are.” That was a piece of advice no one had to give him since he had never had to hide anything from his family.
Alexis pondered. It would be a weight off her shoulders if her mom knew the truth. She wouldn’t have to lie anymore. She would be able to confide in the person she trusted the most, the one who loved her the most.
“Think about it,” he said calmly. “And work on closing your mind. I know you’ll miss my visits,” he smiled, “but who knows… I may pay them in person one day,” he winked. He tried to sound jokingly, but he hoped she would give him the chance of being the one visiting her in her bedroom at night.
“Don’t leave,” she asked. She touched his chest. “Stay with me,” she said sensually.
He swallowed hard. He would like to accept that invitation, but he couldn’t be reckless. “You need to rest. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She was frustrated. “I’ll be around,” he said reassuringly.
She wanted to insist, but begging for his presence was not in her plans. She kept her eyes on his. For the first time, he seemed unsure of what to do. He might give in if she pushed him a bit, but she would play his game. “Good night,” she said firmly.
He snorted and smiled. “Night, Al.”
Alexis opened her eyes the moment he vanished from her dream. Unlike what had happened the previous night, she could still feel him. He kept his word; he was around, she could tell. And that was the most comforting sensation she had ever experienced. She had heard a thousand times that she was not alone, but for the first time, she knew that was true. She closed her eyes and let her thoughts take her back to sleep.
XV
Alexis woke up determined to break up with Ethan. She wanted to be able to be more assertive with Samil, and she couldn't do that if she were with Ethan. Besides that, she was convinced Samil would make a move if she were single. When she got to school, Ethan was waiting for her. She took a deep breath and walked to him. She had never been in a relationship before, but she was sure that it was not easy to tell someone you didn't want to be with them anymore, but before she could say a word, Samil approached them.
“Good morning, beautiful couple,” he said sarcastically. Alexis saw Ethan close his hand. She glanced at Samil. She was certain she had blushed. If she looked at him again, she would not be able to conceal her feelings, so she looked at Ethan. He was mad. “Not happy to see me, buddy?” Samil smiled.
“I’m not your buddy,” said Ethan between his teeth. He never thought he would be capable of hating someone as much as he hated Samil.
“Too bad,” he snorted, “for you, of course." He gave a dramatic pause before getting at what he wanted to say. "So, why don’t you tell Alexis why you are here?” he asked seriously, playtime was over.
Ethan swallowed hard. There were too many people around, so there was nothing he could do to shut Samil up. He would have to control himself.
“No?” Samil insisted. It was about time Ethan was pushed up against the wall a bit by someone other than Alexis.
“Ethan?” asked Alexis worriedly. The implication that Ethan had an obscure reason to be there was unsettling. She knew he hadn't told her everything she wanted to know, but she believed he had her best interest at heart, at least that was how she had felt until that moment.
“Al…,” Ethan murmured, “let’s go to class.” He knew that would not suffice, but he didn't know what else to say.
“Wow, that is not the best way to dodge a subject,” said Samil, enjoying the situation. “He’s an Asnoki,” he said bluntly. Alexis frowned. “You don’t know what that is, right?” he asked her. “Hmm, I’ll enlighten you. Ethan, please, be kind to correct me if I say something stupid,” he said maliciously. “Asnokis are creatures that have one single purpose: serve Elkavians," he said calmly as if he were a teacher giving a lesson, confident in his words, "but that is not what is so interesting about them." Samil was excited to be revealing who Ethan was. "What is fascinating is that each Asnoki is bond to a specific Elkavian. They do not have a choice. There’s no escape; they cannot choose the Elkavian they want to serve, which by the way would already be pretty bad." Samil believed he had made himself clear, but he thought it was worth being redundant. "I mean, Ethan has to be here whether he truly wants to or not.” Samil smiled raising his eyebrows. Tension was palpable, and even though he felt somewhat guilty for Alexis's obvious shock and sadness, it felt good to finally give her the truth about Ethan.
Alexis felt as if there were no air to breathe around her. Every kiss, every touch, every word, it had all been a lie. She couldn’t take her eyes off Ethan. She didn’t want to believe a word Samil had said, but the apologetic look Ethan gave her confirmed that Samil was not lying.
“When you chose not to be completely honest with her, you made things too easy for me. Thanks, pal,” he whispered almost inaudibly in Ethan’s ear. “I’ll leave you two alone. I believe you have a lot to talk.” He looked at her. She was devastated, and that hurt him. He was sure he had done the right thing though. It was better to suffer because of the truth than to live a lie.
Ethan was about to speak when Alexis hissed, “Don’t say a word. I despise you," she said harshly.
“Al… please, I never meant to hurt your feelings.” Ethan regretted those words. They were true, but definitely not the best thing he could say at that time.
She couldn’t help letting a tear run down her face. She turned her back and left. There was no way she would spend another second near him. She would walk back home. She could feel Ethan going after her. She focused her energy on his legs. Either temporary paralysis or a broken bone would give her enough time to get home without being bothered by him. Samil watched everything from a distance. A part of him wanted to go after her, but he knew she needed time to deal with the truth.
Alexis cried all the way back home. The fact that she had strong feelings for Samil did not mean she had no feelings for Ethan. She opened the front door, but instead of going into the house, she decided to go to the woods in the back. She had to let all that pain out of her chest. She walked for a few minutes in the woods and screamed. Her eyes were blurred with tears, she couldn’t stop crying. She fell on her knees and sank her head in her hands. She hated the amulet and everything it had brought into her life. She had made her mind; she would track it and destroy it. The prophecy was about her, she was sure about that. So, she, and only she, could put an end to the curse that having to protect the amulet was. She stood up and looked around. There were at least a dozen trees completely broken. “Damn it,” she snarled. She couldn’t keep losing control like that. She had to fix her mess. She focused on the only mental image that brought her unsurmountable peace and directed all her energy to the woods. All damaged trees were restored to their original state leaving her perplexed. It was like witnessing a miracle right in front of her eyes, and that scared her. She walked back home and went to her bedroom.
“The other Elkavian was more than pleased to protect the amulet. He said I was free and I was a fool to believe. The amulet doesn’t let anyone free. I have the constant feeling that something is watching me. Weird things happen all the time, and I don’t know what to do about that.”
Alexis didn’t feel observed by a higher power. What if the amulet treated each Elkavian differently, according to their character? Samil had said that the amulet wouldn’t change her; it would reveal who she really was.
“I heard that there’s a prophecy about the birth of an Elkavian that will be able to destroy the amulet. The prophecy says that an Elkavian will have a baby with a Ninly and that child will have a choice, unlike all the Elkavians before her.”
Alexis read that over and over. If her father was an Elkavian and she was the child of the prophecy that meant that her mom was a Ninly whatever that was. She got her phone and texted Samil. “
What is a Ninly?” She was sure that no one else but him would answer her question.
“Reading the diary?” he asked. She was going to reply, but he sent another message. “A Ninly is a creature that can influence air currents, winds, and storms. The name came from a Sumerian Goddess, Ninlil.” She was still reading his last message when another one arrived. “Wanna hear something interesting? Anna means air in Sumerian.”
He had not only answered the question she had asked, but also the one that she was hesitating to type. Her mother was a Ninly, even though there was no evidence whatsoever that her mom had any magical skills.
“She doesn’t know,” he texted. “There are many people out there who have dormant skills. They die without knowing the things they can do. They lead an incomplete and, many times, unhappy life because they never connect with their power.”
Alexis closed the diary. Just when she thought things could not get any more complicated, she found out that her mother had special skills. She wondered what else was there for her to discover. She looked out the window. The sunny day contrasted with the sadness in her heart. Her phone vibrated.
“Keep reading.”
She knew she should, but she didn’t want to. Not at that moment. She didn’t know how she would deal with any other new information that day. She got her headphones, went to Spotify and played MrSuicideSheep playlist. Nothing like good music to make her relax.
“Al?” Anna opened the door. “I’m home.”
Alexis opened her eyes. She had fallen asleep. “What time is it?” she asked, confused.
“Almost 6,” said Anna sweetly.
“What?!” Alexis said in a pitchy voice.
Anna took her hand to her ear. “Gosh, Al. I’ll make us dinner.”
Alexis got her phone. She couldn’t believe it was that late. How could she have slept for so long? She had missed several calls from Ethan. At least one good thing had come out of that; she didn’t have to purposely ignore him. She left her phone in her room in an attempt to avoid Ethan and went downstairs to have dinner with her mom.
“How was your day, mom?” she asked warmly.
“Not bad,” said Anna calmly. She knew Alexis would be worried about her if she told her the truth; she had had a shitty day.
“Did you talk to Morgan?” asked Alexis cautiously, fearing to hurt her mom's feelings.
“I’m not ready to talk to him.” Anna could not hide the tears in her eyes. He wished Alexis hadn't brought that up.
“Mom, listen to me,” said Alexis seriously, “you need to consider the possibility that he is telling you the truth.” She knew her mom would not react well to that, but she couldn't simply watch her mom suffer for nothing. She doubted Morgan was lying.
“Why are you insisting on that?” Anna asked sharply.
“Because I think he is,” she answered promptly.
“You’re kidding me, right?” Anna rejoined impatiently. “Make your own dinner.” She stormed out of the kitchen leaving Alexis alone and speechless.
Alexis got an apple and went back to her room. Her mom was in denial. It would take her some time to accept the fact that Morgan was probably being honest with her, and that was understandable. Alexis closed her door. When she turned, she was startled to see Ethan in her room.
“We need to talk,” he said in a low voice.
“How dare you come to my room without my permission?” she asked rudely.
“Al, please, just listen to me, and I’ll leave. I promise.”
“Spit it out,” she snarled.
He got close to her, so close, he could smell her skin. She would have given a step back had she not been against the wall. “Everything Samil said is true. I wish he had lied, but he didn’t. However, he could only talk about the things he knows. I’m here to talk about the things he doesn’t know.” He kept his eyes fixed on hers.
She wanted to feel nothing, but the more she looked at him, the more she desired to be in his arms. There was something about him that she couldn’t explain. Whenever they were that close, she wanted to give herself to him.
“He doesn’t know that the moment I laid my eyes on you, you made me yours. He doesn’t know how I feel every time I think of you. He doesn’t know how deeply I love you. He failed to tell you that being an Asnoki does not mean having feelings for an Elkavian. Most Asnokis never get romantically involved with the Elkavian they serve. I’m not here because I have to; I’m here because you are my everything. I’m here because I want to. I love you, Al. You know that.” He stroked her face. His fingers touched the nape of her neck and gently ran through her hair. He leaned in and kissed her. The feeling that she was his took her over. At that moment, he was all she wanted. There was no one else. His hands firmly held her waist and pulled her closer to him. Her nails scratched his back, underneath his shirt arousing him. He kissed her more passionately and walked to bed with her. She lay down. He unbuttoned her pants and took them off; his eyes on hers. They were both burning in desire. She wrapped her legs around him and pulled him close. He kissed her lips, then her neck, his hand caressing the inner part of her thigh.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Samil was in her mind.
“Ethan, stop, please,” she asked. He immediately stopped and looked at her, puzzled. “I need a minute,” she said shyly.
“Sure,” he kissed her slowly. She tried to control herself, but she lost it and moaned.
“Alexis?” Samil called her in a reprimanding tone of voice.
“God!” she said, startled.
“Ethan,” he said smiling.
She smiled back. “I know, I guess. I need a minute, really.”
He stood up. “I would tell you to take your time, but I desperately want you to get back very quickly,” he said lasciviously.
“It won’t take me long,” she reassured. She went to the bathroom and closed the door. Hopefully, Samil would still be in her mind because she couldn’t speak out loud. “Get the hell out of my mind,” she ordered.
“You let me in. Do you want me out? Kick me out. If you don’t do it, I’ll watch everything. I’ll comment it," he said seriously.
“Samil,” she said disapprovingly.
“Have you ever wondered that I may not be the only one accessing your mind? You know, I can easily manipulate you from here if I want to. So can someone else. Will your feelings and emotions change or remain the same if you protect them? Close your mind now,” he commanded.
Alexis closed her eyes and pictured a white hallway, a door at the end. All her thoughts and emotions behind it, completely inaccessible to anyone but her. A fortress that could not be invaded by anyone. She saw a golden light around the door. “Samil?” Silence. She insisted, “Samil?” He was gone. She had done it.
She left the bathroom, walked to Ethan, and kissed him. He bit her lips and pulled her hair a little. She felt nothing. The magic was gone. She abruptly pushed him. “You have been controlling me,” she said angrily.
“Excuse me?” Ethan was confused.
“That was why every time I was near you, I felt this need to be with you, this peace that made me forget all the times you refused to tell me what I wanted to know. You were manipulating me,” she couldn’t believe she had been naive to think he actually loved her.
“I never manipulated you. What are you talking about?” Ethan was lost. It was as if someone else had left the bathroom, not Alexis.
“I just closed my mind. The Oren got to me because it was open, right? You could have told me to close it, but if you did so, I would have closed it to you as well. You didn’t want that, did you? No, you’d rather have me held hostage by a maniac than have no control over me,” she said bitterly. She was outraged that he had put her life in danger by not telling her she could make her mind impenetrable.
“That’s not you. You are not thinking clearly,” he said bluntly.
“I have never seen things so clearly before. You are not here to serve me; Samil is wrong. You are here because
you want something from me. What is it?” she yelled.
He looked down. “It was the connection,” he said sadly.
“What?” she shouted.
“I love you, Al, but you never loved me. The connection we have because I’m your Asnoki made you want me. When you closed your mind that connection became weaker, and because of that the passion you felt for me is gone.” His tears fell on the floor. Unable to look at her, he kept his eyes down.
“Ethan…I…I’m sorry,” she said sincerely. She was not expecting to see so much pain on his face. He was shattered. He got his shirt, put his sneakers on, and left by the window without saying anything else. She stayed there, still, unsure of what she would do next. She closed her eyes and let sorrow be the owner of her heart for a while. She felt horrible for having hurt him. She had underestimated his feelings for her.
She let her mind wander in her memories of him. A knock on her window brought her back to reality. She opened her eyes. It was Samil; she let him in. He didn’t say anything; he merely hugged her protecting her in the warmth of his arms. She sank her head into his chest and cried. He held her more tightly, wishing there was something he could do to make that pain go away.
She cried until her face got numb. She felt loved in Samil’s arms. Being so close to him brought her a different feeling, one that she could not explain. She looked at him. He gently wiped her eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he said sweetly.
“Me too.” Alexis felt horrible for having hurt Ethan.
“I’d better go. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said calmly.
“Please, stay.” She didn’t want to be alone, and above all, she wanted to be with him.
“Al, I do want to stay, but neither of us wants your mom to see me here,” he said honestly.
“She won’t.” She walked to the door and locked it. “Stay,” she insisted.
“I’ll stay,” he said firmly. There was nothing that could make him leave after that. He observed Alexis walk to bed and lay down; he followed her every move. She kept her eyes on him inviting him to join her. He lay down on his back. He didn’t want to rush into things; he didn’t want her to do anything she could regret later. He knew it was too soon to make any move. He glanced at her. She got closer and placed her head on his chest. Samil embraced her; her smell was inebriating. He could stay there forever feeling the weight of her head, the temperature of her body, the touch of her skin as her hand softly stroked his neck. She was finally his. He caressed her head making her relax and fall asleep. She knew she was safe.
The Defender (The Elkavians Book 1) Page 21