Wandering over to the window, she peered out from the dusty drapes as if she expected their enemies to make a sudden appearance. As the thought occurred to him, he went over and locked the front door. Just in case.
When he looked up again, Anabel once again watched him. “What about Polacek? How do you know he didn’t escape?”
“I don’t. But the Protectors know about him. And the Drakkors need to be held accountable for what they’ve done.”
Wearily, she nodded. “Tammy’s pregnant, you know. I’m thinking all along, the problem wasn’t with the female Drakkors. I’m not sure what species the father is, but it doesn’t matter. The Protectors need to know this so she isn’t harmed.”
Surprised, he nodded. “Even though their line is now secured, Polacek was still going to...?”
“Yes.”
The one word made Tyler blanch. He nearly asked why and then decided he didn’t need to. Doug Polacek had revealed his character in so many ways, it shouldn’t have surprised Tyler that the man would continue to do such horrible things when the need no longer existed. “We have to make sure the Protectors know.”
“I agree.” She sighed heavily. “What do we do now?”
He looked around the small apartment, noting the framed photograph of bright flowers in a meadow. Dena had taken that. He noted several other small touches he knew she’d made—the bright yellow pillow on the couch, the book of photographs on the coffee table, the bright pink vase on the bar.
“I want to go see my sister.”
She stared at him. “I know she contacted you and everything, but she probably thinks that was in her dreams, if she remembers it at all. Won’t she find it weird to see a dead man standing at her bedside?”
Mentally cursing, he realized she was right. Which hurt like hell. But if he had to go back to being dead, he wanted at least a glimpse of his sister before he went.
“Not only that,” Anabel continued. “Didn’t you say it was some sort of rule that dead people couldn’t materialize fully to the one they were closest to?”
He frowned. “I was only guessing.” In fact, he’d actually really only said that to make her feel better about David not showing up. As far as he knew, ghosts could frequently visit their loved ones, though most times the person couldn’t see or hear them. He wasn’t sure why David hadn’t bothered to try to visit his wife, especially since she was known in the spirit world as a person of power.
While his sister was captive, he’d made numerous visits to her to try to offer comfort. While she hadn’t been able to see him, he’d tried his best.
And now no way would he let this golden opportunity slip by.
“I’d still like to see her,” he said. “Even if it’s only from a distance. Kind of like a parting present for myself before I have to give all this up.”
She nodded, her expression going sad.
All this. Anabel. He got choked up just thinking about it. Which was probably pretty damn stupid. He wondered if Anabel would even miss him once he went back to being dead. Somehow he doubted it, especially if he managed to bring Dave to see her.
Unfortunately, Dave had never appreciated what he had. And now he most likely had only regrets. Maybe the meeting would bring them both closure. For Anabel’s sake, Tyler hoped so.
As she watched him, Anabel’s expression softened even more. “We can try. Polacek said he had Tammy drop her outside the ER. Let’s check there and see if she’s been admitted.”
Using her phone, she searched for the hospital number and called. After a short conversation, she ended the call. “All the woman would tell me is that she’s there. She said privacy laws prevented her from saying anything more.”
Suddenly struck by the idea of actually seeing his sister, he took a deep breath. “Why don’t you see if you can find something to wear and we’ll head over there?”
Chapter 18
A few minutes later, with Anabel wearing an outfit Tyler recognized as one of his sister’s flowery T-shirt dresses and strappy sandals, they headed down the steps and out to her car. As human, wedging himself in the front passenger seat felt downright painful.
Neither spoke much on the short drive to the hospital. Preoccupied with worry, Tyler hoped Dena had gotten help early enough to pull through.
Entering the hospital, which smelled, as all hospitals did, of that peculiar combination of antiseptic and sickness, they hurried over to the information desk. There they learned that Dena was in ICU. As for her condition, they’d have to speak to the nurse in that department.
“Are you family?” the head ICU nurse asked, eyeing them both sternly. Her sharp-eyed gaze looked friendly, if stern. “The police have been here and are trying to learn what happened to this young lady. She was left on the pavement outside of our ER, near death.”
Tyler almost said he was her brother and caught himself at the last moment. “We’re friends,” he said instead. “Members of the same church.”
The nurse nodded. “Usually, we only allow family in the ICU. But she hasn’t had any visitors, so...” She tilted her head and gave a quick glance around the area. All the other nurses appeared to be busy. “I suppose you can take a peek in her room, one at a time. She’s in Room 8.”
“Is she...?” Tyler almost couldn’t finish. His heart thumped so loudly in his chest he thought maybe she could see it. Clearing his throat, he tried again. “Is she conscious?”
“No, sadly, she is not.”
“Is she going to be okay?” Anabel asked.
The nurse’s face changed, becoming distantly professional once more. “I’m sorry. I can only discuss her condition with family members. Now if you want to have a quick visit, please do so. Otherwise, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
“Sorry.” Anabel gave a placating smile. “We’ll just pop in for a quick visit and then we’ll get out of your hair.”
As they walked away, Anabel took his arm. “You go first,” she said. “And be aware that we might be able to help her heal if we use our magic.”
He nodded, unable to take his gaze away from Room 8, where the door sat partially open. “I’ll do my best, but since I have no idea how to heal anything, I’m hoping you’ll have more success than I.”
“Just try,” she said, propelling him toward the room and the sister he hadn’t seen in person for so long.
Just inside the doorway he stopped. Dena looked so tiny in the white hospital bed, hooked up to various machines, every breath accompanied by impersonal beeps. He moved closer, holding his breath, but she didn’t stir. Her eyes were closed and her gaunt face puffy from an array of bruises in varying shades of purple and red.
They’d cleaned her up, he supposed. Her long hair, her pride and joy, still looked lifeless, but at least he could tell it had been washed.
“Dena?” Speaking her name, he couldn’t help wondering if she could hear him. He’d read somewhere that people in comas often did, and he took comfort in the idea that on some level, she’d know he’d come to see her.
Remembering what Anabel had said, he moved closer. After glancing around to make sure no disapproving nurse was about to bustle into the room, he touched his sister’s arm.
Still soft, her skin felt cold. He wasn’t sure exactly what he should do, so he focused on healing. Using the word heal as a mantra of sorts, he tried to send her some of the energy his magic provided. But he must have used up whatever supply he’d been given fighting the Drakkor. No sizzle, no spark, no blaze of power. Nothing but the aching worry of his love.
“I love you, sis,” he said, over the incessant beeping and drone of the equipment. “You’ve got to pull through. I’m counting on that.”
She didn’t stir, but she was free now. She had a chance. He could only pray Anabel had better results, could help her heal fully after what sh
e’d endured.
Turning to go, he took one last look at his sister, hoping he’d be able to visit her as a ghost once she was healthy and whole.
Out in the hall, Anabel took one look at his face. “Don’t worry,” she said, squeezing him in a quick hug. “She’s going to pull through.”
He nodded, heart in his throat. Unable to watch anymore, he moved away from the room to wait a short distance down the hall.
A few minutes later Anabel emerged. Her broad smile had his heart skipping a beat. “Come on,” she said, taking his hand. His skin tingled at her touch. “I gave her some of my energy. She didn’t wake up, but her vitals improved and she will soon.”
He chose to believe her and they went to her car. Key in the ignition, she turned to look at him. “We should check and make sure the Protectors got Polacek.”
“You mean call?”
Her shrug was artfully careless. “I was thinking more along the lines of we drive out there.”
Instantly, he shook his head. “No. No way. If he’s regained consciousness, doing that would be putting you right in the line of fire.”
As she opened her mouth to argue, her phone rang. “Great timing,” she said. “It’s the Protectors.”
From what he could tell of her side of the conversation, everything was under control. She let them know about Tammy’s pregnancy and also about what Doug Polacek had tried to do even though he’d known.
Once she ended the call, Anabel confirmed what he’d guessed. “Polacek is in custody. The society is requesting a meeting of all the remaining Drakkors. From what I could get out of what she was saying, they are going to see if the other Drakkors are as crazy as Polacek. If they aren’t, the society might release him to them for punishment.”
He thought of Tammy and what Anabel had told him. “Now that one of their females was able to conceive, hopefully the other two will, as well. I do hope Polacek was an aberration rather than the norm.”
“Me too. Their beast is beautiful.”
“I agree.” Oddly enough, he felt at loose ends. Though he didn’t want to face up to the knowledge that it might be time for him to go, he knew he’d have to soon. “I think this is out of our hands now.”
Anabel smiled sadly. “I guess it is. Now I just need to get my life back on track. I’ll start with dealing with getting the insurance to pay so I can rebuild my house.”
Without him. Because now that everything had been done, it would be time for him to go.
“I have one question,” he said. “Earlier, you had your plan of trying to die and be brought back to life. I was told no, by the way, but I’m curious as to why such a thing would even occur to you.”
She bit her lip, finding a sudden fascination with her fingernails. When she raised her head, the emotion blazing from her copper-colored eyes made him catch his breath. “Because I wanted to see if such a thing was possible. Ever. Being without you is unbearable to me.”
Humbled, he forced words past the sudden aching in his throat. “You wanted to do this in case there might be a chance I could be brought back to life?”
“Yes.”
That single word, so full of hope and yearning, nearly undid him. His heart sank. He knew what he had to do. The longer he stayed with her, the more Anabel would suffer when he left.
He’d been granted all this—from being allowed to contact Anabel as a ghost, to spending time with her as a real, live man. Much more than he’d ever deserved, a gift he appreciated from the bottom of his heart. He couldn’t overstay his time and make the powers that be have to be the ones to call him home. He should initiate the process himself and go back where he belonged, leaving with dignity and grace.
Oh, but the thought hurt. Like a fire in his chest, cutting a jagged hole in his heart. The idea of leaving Anabel felt worse than his memories of the actual moment of his physical death. He could barely breathe. Even considering going away from her forever made him feel as if his entire being had been stabbed, shredded, spit out and stomped on.
At least as a ghost, he’d no longer feel physical pain. Though he should have taken comfort knowing that, he didn’t care. He’d suffer this a thousand times if he could only stay with her.
No doubt his spirit guide, Elias, would inform him he had some fancy lesson to learn from all of this. Whatever it might be, he felt certain he didn’t want to hear it.
He knew the truth. He knew how precious this love was, a love he’d found way too late.
During his time alive, he’d never been a saint, and after he’d died, he learned he’d passed roughly a third of the life lessons he’d needed to learn in this life.
Learning more he could deal with. He’d build on his strengths and overcome his weaknesses, and by the time he was ready to be born again for another try, he’d hopefully do better.
But the one regret he couldn’t get past was that he’d never known true love while alive this time. He’d never even realized he wouldn’t. Like most men, he’d just assumed that someday he’d meet the woman with whom he was destined to spend the rest of his life. Someday.
He hadn’t even dreamed he’d meet her after he was dead. While she was still very much alive.
He’d found love with his eyes and his hands and his skin. With every fiber of his being, an emotion so strong that the sheer power of it had enabled him to briefly become human.
Worse, he’d gotten such a wondrous thing while his sister still suffered. He’d come back to this plane with one purpose—to save Dena. And while he hadn’t failed at that, to finally experience the joy of meeting his mate and then being forced to relinquish her, leaving was a mighty bitter pill to swallow.
They pulled up to the motel and parked. As he got out and followed her to the room, he felt a tug inside his core, faint at first. A gentle reminder that he would need to go soon. If he planned to be the one to initiate things, he couldn’t put it off. He knew better than to try to fight it.
Back ramrod straight, Anabel unlocked the door and turned on the lights. As she stepped aside to let him past, he took her into his arms. He needed to tell her the truth, say goodbye.
He tried twice to speak, failing each time. Her eyes wide, her mouth fell open. He thought she might have an idea, judging from the frightened expression on her beautiful face. Even her amazing copper eyes looked dull, all the shine gone from them.
“Don’t,” she pleaded, holding up her hand. “Please don’t.”
All the color had leached from her face. Worried she might faint, he supported her.
“It’s all right,” he said, helping her into the fake leather chair. “Take a breath. Let me get you a glass of ice water. You don’t look good at all.”
“No.” As he went to move away, she grabbed his arm. “Come sit. Tell me what’s wrong.”
He took a deep breath. “We need to talk.”
Her worried smile faltered. “Has any good conversation ever begun with those words?”
He only shook his head and went willingly when she pulled him down onto the chair with her. “Let me hold you,” he said.
“For how long?” The sorrow in her voice made tears prick at the backs of his eyes, but he managed to contain them and keep his composure.
They sat that way, neither moving, for the space of several minutes. Breathing in her scent, that particular combination of cinnamon and flowers that would forever make him think of her, he tried to calm his racing mind.
“Whatever it is, we’ll work it out together,” she said, clearly trying to find a way to help.
The depth of the pain inside made him wonder how he’d bear this. Still... Taking a deep breath, he hoped they’d give him just a little more time. He’d take however long he could with Anabel. Maybe even long enough to give him a few memories to store inside him forever, memories to keep him company when he retur
ned to the cosmos without her. Alone. Completely and utterly alone.
Devastation filled him at the thought. Chin up, he told himself. He’d been a soldier, a man’s man. He needed to figure out a way to deal.
Except he couldn’t. Truth be told, he didn’t know how he would survive it. Loneliness wasn’t as bad when you didn’t know what you were missing. Now he did, which would make being alone unbearable.
* * *
Watching the emotions flicker across Tyler’s handsome face, Anabel experienced them all at the same time. Soon, Tyler would leave her for good. Intellectually, she knew this. Emotionally, she could hardly face it. Even though they’d known each other only a short time, the deep connection she’d made with him felt like a marriage. Knowing he’d go soon wrenched her insides and made her feel as if she were being widowed a second time.
Since David’s death, she’d gradually disengaged from thinking of herself as part of a couple. She’d come to understand there were only two camps—coupledom and singledom.
And when David got killed, she’d unwillingly switched sides. She was now alone—and would be the rest of her life. Now she realized she’d been living life as though she’d given up.
Until Tyler. Now this could end only one way. In pain and fire.
Ah, but the inevitability of it all meant she wanted to figure out a spectacular last day with Tyler. She’d been denied this with David. He’d died and she’d never be able to get back or repair their last conversation.
They’d been bickering. Nothing major. But in the middle of their argument, uncharacteristically, David had grabbed his gear and demanded she take him to the airport for his flight back to Afghanistan. Even though the plane wasn’t leaving for another four hours.
Stunned and hurt, she’d snatched up her car keys and done exactly that. When she pulled up to the curb, at least David had leaned over and kissed her goodbye. Except it was more of a peck than a good, toe-tingling kiss between mates.
As she opened her mouth to protest, reaching for him to pull him close, he’d moved away and gotten out of the car. Grabbing his gear from the backseat, he’d dipped his chin in an impersonal nod and disappeared inside the terminal.
Shades of the Wolf Page 24