She wanted to believe that. "You haven't actually said how you feel about me."
"I thought I'd showed you."
"You did, but sometimes words are good, too."
"I care about you, Annie, probably more than you would believe. And I trust you. I really hope you can find a way to trust me, but I understand if you can't."
"I need to think. We should continue this tomorrow."
"That's fine, but I'm not leaving, Annie."
"You have to go, Griffin. I can't—"
"I know you can't," he said, cutting her off. "I'm going to sleep on the couch. I won't bother you, but I wouldn't feel right leaving you here alone tonight."
She drank the rest of her wine and put down her empty glass. "Fine." She walked over to the hall closet, pulled out a pillow and a blanket and tossed them onto the couch. "Good-night, Griffin."
And then she walked into her bedroom and closed the door firmly behind her, deciding there was at least one mistake she didn't need to make again. But as she got undressed and crawled into bed alone, she couldn't help wishing that nothing he'd told her was true, that he could just be Griffin Hale, no dark past, no secrets, no danger threatening to destroy them both.
Nineteen
Had he lost Annie?
Probably.
Griffin stretched out on the couch in Annie's living room and stared at the ceiling. Maybe that was for the best. But imagining a life without Annie put him in the same dark place he'd been in four years ago. He couldn't go back to that darkness, and he wasn't going to run again. He'd made a new life for himself, and he wasn't going to lose it without a fight. He would find out who was messing with him and then he would put an end to it. He hadn't been a cop in four years, but he needed to start thinking like one again.
Questions ran through his head: Why now? Had his whereabouts suddenly been discovered? And if so, why not a more direct attack on him?
It felt as if someone was playing with him. And what didn't make sense was why or how Tom could orchestrate an elaborate plan of slow torture from a prison cell. If he'd just hired a hit man to go after him, he'd be dead by now, and that would have made more sense. But this cat-and-mouse game of revenge—was that really Tom?
If it was Tom, he had to have help, someone in San Clemente, and that person had been in the bar. Was it the woman who had come up to him? Was it the guy arguing with Shari in the parking lot? Was it the person who had slashed Annie's tires?
Or was it someone closer to home? Someone on his staff? He trusted Vinnie implicitly. And Justin didn't seem like the type to be that manipulative or crafty. Shari had been secretive lately, but she wasn't tied to his Chicago past. Still, he needed to talk to her, find out what had happened with the guy in the van. He'd do that tomorrow.
He also needed to check in with his dad and his grandfather as well—but it was too late to call them tonight. Maybe he shouldn't be the one to call them. Perhaps Paul could do it. He'd used him as an intermediary before; Paul might be able to help again, keep the distance between himself and his family.
Rolling onto his side, he could hear the waves hitting the shore, but they didn't sound soothing tonight. They matched the pounding beat of his heart, the uncertainty in his head.
He was restless. He wanted to do something. He wanted to take back control. He thought he'd done that by building a new life, but he was right back where he'd been.
Maybe not all the way back.
Things were different now. He had Annie—maybe. She was conflicted, torn, and he couldn't blame her. He just didn't want to lose her.
On the other hand, what did he have to offer her? What if he had to go on the run again? He couldn’t take her with him. He couldn't disrupt her life. She had a family, a life.
Flopping onto his back, he closed his eyes and just tried to let go. If he slept, time would go faster.
Only he couldn't sleep—he was too worked up. He'd thought he could live without a relationship. He'd thought fun, no-strings sex, could work for a long time. But now he wanted more than that. He wanted Annie in his life—with all her chatter and curiosity and imagination. He wanted to share his meals with her, his bed, his bar, his life…
But again, he came back to—what did he have to offer her? Nothing.
He sighed again. Then his heart jumped as he heard Annie's door click open, followed by the sound of soft footsteps. She came over to the couch, wearing a loose T-shirt and PJ shorts. She stared down at him.
"You're awake," she said, an uncertain note in her voice.
"Can't sleep."
"Me, either." She perched on the edge of the coffee table. "I keep thinking about everything."
He turned onto his side to face her. "Come to any conclusions?"
"You said I was the one who was going to complicate your life, but it turned out to be the other way around."
"I guess it did."
"I want to believe you're the person I think you are. The connection we have between us is not easy to find. I don't want to let it go, but I can't help wondering if the connection is as false as your name."
"You know it's not," he said quietly.
"I like to think I'm a good judge of character. I notice details about people. It comes with being an artist. I look at things more closely than others do. But I looked at you, and I didn't see the pretense."
"Didn't you? Isn't that why you always had so many questions?"
"Maybe," she conceded. "I knew you had secrets; I just didn't know that they were this big."
"Now you do."
"When you said you used to be a cop, I was shocked, but the more I think about it, the more I realize how much sense that makes. You're a natural born protector. You watch out for people. That's why Paul trusted you with his witnesses."
"He knew I would do everything I could to take care of them. He also knew that I understood what it was like to live as someone you're not."
She nodded. "I get it. Were you always so isolated? Or was that just because you couldn't let yourself get close?"
"To be honest, I've always been alone. It started when I was young, when I didn't want to bring friends home after school because my dad might show up drunk. But it probably got worse after I left Chicago. I had to be really careful all the time, especially in the beginning."
She drew in a breath and let it out. "It's a lot to process, Griffin."
"I know. And I can say I'm sorry again—as many times as you need to hear it. I knew I should have said good-bye to you days ago, but I couldn't pull the trigger. When I did make a half-hearted attempt at it, you talked me out of it."
"I didn't know what I was talking you out of—I just thought you were afraid of commitment. It's not like you're the first guy I've met who wanted to have no-strings fun."
"I'm not afraid of commitment; I'm just not in a position to commit to anything or anyone." He paused for a moment. "I thought I could live the way I was living and be happy enough, but I have to say that once I met you, everything changed. You made me want to have a better life."
"I did that?" she asked doubtfully.
"You did. While the bar has been going great, my personal life was one boring, dull shade of endless gray until you walked through the door, and then it was filled with bright colors, with optimism, with lots of conversation. I didn't want it to end."
Her breath hitched and she clasped her hands together. "Maybe…"
His heart sped up. "Maybe what?"
"Maybe tonight we could just be the way we were yesterday, before I knew anything."
"Can you really put what you've learned out of your head?" he asked doubtfully.
"It wouldn't be easy," she admitted. "But if I had some help from you…a little distraction, something else to think about, it might work." A smile played around her lips. "Are you up to it?"
"Most definitely," he said, sitting up. "Are you sure?"
"About being with you tonight—yes. Everything else—no idea."
"I'll take it. But
we're not making love on this couch. It's really uncomfortable."
"I agree."
He took her hands in his as they got to their feet. "I can't promise that tomorrow isn't going to bring more problems. I don't want to lead you on, Annie."
"I understand. Is there anything else I don't know about your past?"
"I don't think so. Nothing big anyway. I haven't shared all my childhood stories. But you know the important stuff."
"Then we'll let tomorrow take care of itself." She let go of his hands and pulled her top over her head, revealing her beautiful breasts, with the faint dusting of freckles. But he didn't have time to really appreciate them before she turned and ran toward the bedroom.
He pulled off his shirt as he followed her. He found her PJ shorts and panties on the floor next to the bed when he entered the room, and he got rid of his own clothes as he joined her in bed. He thought she might hold back, still unsure about him, but their first kiss was explosively tender, filled with so much longing and desire, it sucked the breath out of his chest.
Annie was the most generous, forgiving, honest person he'd ever met, and he felt like the luckiest man on earth.
He wanted to show her how much he cared about her, how much he wanted to win back her trust. So, despite the furious, driving need running through his body, he went slow, savoring every kiss, every touch, making her as crazy as she was making him.
* * *
Annie smelled coffee. Blinking her eyes open, she saw Griffin set a mug on the nightstand next to her bed.
"Good morning," he said, giving her a kiss, then sitting down next to her.
She was sorry to see his sexy male body covered in clothes. His hair was damp, and he smelled like soap, so he'd obviously gotten up a while ago and grabbed a shower as well as made her coffee.
She scooted up into a sitting position, keeping the sheet in front of her breasts.
A look of amusement ran through Griffin's eyes. "Really? I know you're not shy. Not after last night."
"I'm a little less shy in the middle of the night," she said, reaching for the mug. She took a sip and let the caffeine wake her the rest of the way up. "When did you get up?"
"About an hour ago. I've been thinking about my next move. I want to talk to Shari this morning. I don't know if she's involved, but her behavior has been off, and she has access to the office and the computer. She also knows where I am most of the time. I've always thought of her as a good employee and a friend, but she has changed, and I can't overlook that. Someone could be threatening her, bribing her, who knows? I just know that I need to take action, and she's first on the list."
"Okay. Can I come with you?"
"I was thinking you could hang at the bar with Vinnie."
She made a face at that suggestion. "So he can babysit me?"
"He's an ex-Marine; he can keep you safe."
"Or I could go with you, an ex-cop, and you could keep me safe."
"But I'm the one who's the target. I don't want you to be collateral damage."
"We'll keep an eye on each other. We're just going to Shari's apartment." She could see that Griffin really didn't want to take her with him. Perhaps she would be in more danger if she hung out with him, but on the other hand, she never felt safer than when she was with him. "I want to stick close to you, Griffin. If anything looks really off, I'll stay in the car, or I'll take a cab somewhere else, maybe the nearest police station. Speaking of which, are you going to call the police?"
"That's farther down the list. I want to figure out a few other things first."
"Like what?"
"I called Paul earlier. He's going to see what he can find out about Tom's visitor list at the prison. That might help me pinpoint who he's using on the outside."
"That's a good idea," she said with a nod. "Very smart."
"I was on my way to detective when I quit the department."
"I'm sorry you had to give that up. Would you ever go back if things were different?"
"No, never. I'm done with that life. I like running the bar. It fits me better than I thought it would."
"You have a lot of your grandfather in you."
"I've wanted to tell him about it a dozen times, but I can't call him. It's too risky. I have asked Paul to check on him and my father as well."
As Griffin spoke, she wondered if he would leave San Clemente. She wanted him to stay, but she also wanted him to stay alive.
Seeing the worry and uncertainty in his eyes, she put her hand on his arm and then leaned forward to kiss him, wanting to give him what little comfort and reassurance she could. Then she said, "We're going to figure it out, Griffin. You've got a partner whether you like it or not. And you know how pushy I can be when I want something."
"I do know that."
"I should get dressed."
His gaze dropped to the thin sheet covering her body, and she saw a new gleam of hunger.
"No," she said, bringing his eyes back to hers. "Or we'll never get out of this apartment."
"It's not my fault you're so damned beautiful and irresistible."
She flushed at his words. "You're pretty irresistible, too."
"So, I distracted you last night?" he teased.
"Yes. And we can consider more distractions later, but right now I'm going to shower and get dressed."
"I'll make you breakfast. I'm not Vinnie, but I can whip up scrambled eggs, and I noticed you had some in the fridge."
"I am not going to turn that offer down. There's turkey bacon, too."
"Coming up. Don't take too long in the shower, or I might have to join you."
She was tempted to test his resolve, but as his phone buzzed, she realized they had more important things to do today. "Who's that?" she asked, as he read a text.
"It's Vinnie. I'm going to call him back."
As Griffin left the room, she headed into the shower, wondering if it was really Vinnie. There had been something off about his response. He'd told her that he'd given her the whole truth last night, but there was still a part of her that wasn't completely sure. She wanted to trust him, because she was falling in love with him.
That thought stopped her in her tracks.
Was she really falling in love with him? A man whose real name she hadn't learned until after she'd slept with him?
That question followed her all the way into the shower, and she still didn't have an answer when she got out.
* * *
"Okay, I now know one more thing about you." Annie set down her fork next to her empty plate. "You can cook scrambled eggs. And you can even fancy them up with some cheese and scallions."
He smiled at her from across the table. "I used what I saw in your fridge."
"I'm surprised you found that much. I haven't done a lot of shopping lately." She paused. "Griffin, there's something I want to ask you about—make that someone. Paige."
"I told you everything you need to know about Paige."
"Actually, you didn't tell me much at all. Or if you did, it didn't stick. I know you met her through your partner."
"Yes. She was friends with Tom and his younger brother. They brought her to a pizza party one night, and that's how we started dating."
"What was she like?" she asked, curious to know what kind of woman had gotten into Griffin's heart. "What did she do for a living?"
"She was smart. She worked in finance for a fashion company. She loved clothes, loved to shop. She could be a little dramatic, emotional, but she was also fun. I loved her family. Her dad was a great guy. He was the kind of man anyone would want to have for their dad. Her mom used to bake up a storm at the holidays. She'd always send me home with cookies and pies. I probably gained ten pounds while we were dating." He paused. "In retrospect, I'd say that I might have liked Paige's family even more than I liked her. It felt good to be part of Sunday dinner and Christmas Eve. But, of course, that all went away when I betrayed the family."
Her heart went out to him. She doubted Griffin would eve
r admit to how much he'd been hurt by the people who had turned their backs on him, but clearly it had been painful. And she could understand why. His own family had shattered with his mom's death, his dad's drinking. He'd been looking for a way to replace that loss. She wished her family was nearby. The Callaways would take him in and hug the hell out of him. But for now, she would have to be the one to do that.
"Do you think you would have stayed together if you hadn't turned Tom in?"
"No. We didn't bring out the best in each other. We would have ended, no matter what. Now, can we be done talking about Paige?"
She nodded. "Yes, I was just curious."
"Imagine that," he said dryly.
She made a face at him, then stood up. "I'm going to finish getting ready and then we'll go see Shari."
"If you insist on going with me, yes." He picked up their dishes and took them to the sink.
"Don't worry about washing them. Just stick them in the dishwasher. I'll run it later."
After putting on her shoes and grabbing a jacket, she and Griffin went downstairs to his car. Once again, Griffin was on high alert, his gaze darting in every direction, but everything was fine. There was no one around, and they got into the car without incident.
As she fastened her seat belt, she said, "Now that I know you were a cop, your skill level at taking my brother down so quickly makes a lot more sense."
"He was fast on the rebound," Griffin said, as he pulled out of the garage.
"Hunter has never backed away from a fight, and as charming as he is, he does seem to get into more than his fair share of trouble. I don't know what's going on with him these days. He took a leave of absence from the fire department to travel. He said he wanted to see the world, and he has certainly been doing that, but I feel like there's more behind his desire to be on the road than just wanderlust, but if there is, I can't get it out of him." She glanced over at Griffin. "Maybe I was so pushy with you because I'm used to stubborn men."
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