“Are you sure about this?”
“No. But I don’t want you to fight me. You still have the papers?”
“I do.”
“And you can file them any time?”
“Whenever you ask, but Anna—”
“Then, that’s the way I want it. Don’t tell Bryce. Don’t tell Edward. Not even the children.”
Bryce stood as Anna reentered Edward’s room. Edward was sitting on the bed. Bryce and Edward were eyeing each other, waiting for the other to speak the next words in this futile battle.
“I should be on my way,” Edward’s young apprentice said. He appeared more frustrated than ever. “I have a couple of papers to file at the courthouse.”
“Would that be Edward’s will and trust?” Anna said. Bryce glanced over at Edward who had begun fumbling with his tie. Receiving no response, Anna said, “There’ll be time for that later I suppose.” Anna shuddered. A chill overtook her as she considered her words.
Bryce sighed and left. Edward unzipped the black duffel holding his clothes.
Anna closed the door, slid a chair to the bed, and sat. “Well, what do you want to do?” She interwove her fingers.
“For now, leave this place.” He let go of the zipper of his duffel. “No one here seems to be willing or able to help me.” He turned to the window across the room.
Joining him, Anna looked through the window to the garden beyond. A ring of stones encircled a bed of violets. Their bright purple petals shimmered in the Northern California sun now past its zenith.
“They’re beautiful,” Anna said.
“Hmmm.”
“Looks like the garden that was outside my room at Hammond. It held geraniums,” Anna said. “I promised myself after the birth of each one of the children that when I got home I’d plant some flowers, geraniums, roses, irises, pansies, whatever.” She knew nothing about flowers or planting other than how to adore them. “A bed of flowers for each of the children, each with its own type.”
“What stopped you?”
“Time. Never had enough. Someone always needed their braces tightened. There was a soccer match I needed to drive them to. Or a violin recital.” Anna cringed at the thought of pain her children would feel when learning their father was dying. “I committed to giving,” she said.
“It’s your nature.”
And yours was to take. Anna’s heart pounded with the thought, old angers fuming to the surface. A wash of memories flooded her. I was a fool. I endured sleepless nights alone at home with the kids while Edward was in South America wining and dining the women he’d romped and played with. He was their greatest monarch.
Edward zipped his bag closed.
“What are you going to do?” She rephrased the question.
“I won’t die here. Not in this hospital.” The look in Edward’s eyes became that of a little boy, not unlike David on the many occasions when Edward had been away and he asked, “Mommy, why are you crying? Do you miss Daddy? Why isn’t he here? When I grow up, I’m never going to let you cry.”
Minutes later Dr. Grimes returned. A young woman in a long, white coat accompanied him.
“Edward, Anna. This is Mrs. Reid, the hospice liaison,” Grimes said. “She’s going to talk to Edward about his plans at home.”
“That’s easy,” Edward said. “I live in a two-bedroom apartment. I figure I’ll pay someone to come in when I ...”
“It’s not that simple, Mr. ...” she thumbed through the papers in her hand.
“Manning,” Edward said. “Edward Manning.”
Anna stood and offered the hospice worker her chair. She went outside. Grimes followed.
“We do this with all our clients,” Grimes explained. “It’s hardest for the ones who live alone.”
Anna considered what had once been their home. It was now a house filled with rented furniture staged to show potential buyers how happy they could be living there.
Anna scanned the white wall behind Grimes. The name beside the door, Manning, Edward, beamed ever brighter. She imagined the headstone Edward Manning April 30, 194__ ... Life is strange, Anna conjured. I could die before him.
“I’ll take him home,” Anna said. “He can die with me.”
“I thought the two of you were divorcing.”
“I haven’t signed the papers yet.” Anna turned to leave. She needed to call the children.
“Anna.” Grimes again caught up with her. She flipped her cell phone closed. “It’s a lot to handle, caring for a person who’s dying, the man you’re divorcing, no doubt. Edward has less than six months, maybe only three, to live. If you think—”
“He’s been my husband for thirty-four years. His fifty-sixth birthday is in February. And you’re telling me he might not make it.”
Somberness slid over Grimes’ eyes. “Death does strange things to people.”
“Are you speaking of me or Edward?”
“Both. During my training in the emergency room, I saw patients die suddenly. Their families were unable to say important things to them like `I forgive you. Don’t worry. Let it go. I love you.’ And then, there were those who died suddenly with everything said that needed to have been spoken. On the oncology floor, I see families come together and heal wounds that only the awareness of impending death can mend. I’ve also seen the opposite. Those who know their death is imminent, and denial is the only thing holding them together.”
“Are you saying I’m in denial about Edward’s condition?”
“Emotions influence how we see things,” Grimes said.
A burning sensation rose from Anne’s stomach. “Am I speaking to Dr. Grimes, Edward’s oncologist, or the young man who has come to admire my husband?”
“Edward is dying. And you’re about to divorce him. The last thing he needs is promises you can’t deliver.”
“And unless you can tell me without a shadow of a doubt that he has the slightest chance of surviving this—”
“I can’t but—”
“Then let me, his wife, give him what he needs.”
“For the last year, you’ve fought to leave him. What makes you think you can care for him now?”
“For the thirty-four years prior to this, I held down a home while Edward traveled the world and made love to any woman who suited him. I can handle this.”
Grimes’ nostrils flared as he inhaled. Swallowing, he pressed his lips together.
“Now if you don’t mind, I need to speak with my husband.” Anna eased back to the doorway where the voices of the hospice liaison and Edward grew clear and distinct.
“People find it difficult to contemplate their own death. Even those of us who work in the field,” the social worker said to Edward.
“If anyone is to be prepared, I figured it would be someone like you or Dr. Grimes.” Gone was the anger and torment in Edward’s voice. A chord of acceptance had taken its place.
“None of us are ready, Mr. Manning.”
“Please. Call me Edward.”
A lumped formed in Anna’s throat. She forced herself to breathe.?
Chapter 5
Anna turned the key in the lock and pushed open the front door of the house she and Edward had shared for over three decades. They had moved there a year after David was born. She took a deep breath. Closing the door, she wondered what potential buyers saw when entering. A vase of silk roses stood on the table against the left wall where David used to drop his books after school. The younger siblings, Theo, Linda, and Serine stacked theirs underneath. When home and not traveling, Edward would stand his briefcase at the edge of their piles.
Anna removed her shoes and climbed the stairs at the end of the foyer. The newly shampooed carpet comforted her aching feet. Reaching the landing, she inspected each of the bedrooms also filled with rental furniture and arranged to the decorator’s command.
“She knows what she’s doing,” Anna had said of the interior decorator when first seeing the layout of furniture in the house.
Elise McKinney, a childhood friend with whom Anna had graduated Holy Names High School, and then San Francisco State University, had recommended the decorator who staged the house. Elise was Anna’s real estate agent. When Anna handed Elise the check to pay for the home staging service and the rental of the furniture, Elise pushed it back, gave Anna a smirk, and said, “Not until you’ve divorced Edward and this house is sold. Then you can pay.”
Anna returned downstairs. Her feet soaked up the softness of the carpet as she tried to ward off the memories lying beneath. She was dialing Elise when the doorbell rang. With the phone to her ear, she ran to the door and opened it. Elise stepped inside, and dropped her bag on the foyer table. “My phone’s ringing.” She dug inside the bag.
“It’s me.” Anna closed her phone.
“Oh, you were calling?”
“Yeah.” Anna padded back to the kitchen.
Elise closed the bag, removed her shoes, and followed. “So, how was the meeting this morning? Please tell me Edward and Bryce showed up.”
“They did.”
“Any progress?” Accustomed to the routine of Edward’s stall tactics, Elise set hands to her hips. “Or what new rabbit trick did Bryce offer you and Henderson today?”
Anna removed one of the three glasses she had left in the cabinet by the sink, and filled it with water. Elise joined her at the sink.
Anna sipped her water and took in the backyard swimming pool that had been drained. She had instructed Elise to include the patio furniture in the asking price.
“I guarantee if you fill that pool we can get ten thousand, maybe twenty more,” Elise said.
Anna didn’t respond.
“Anna?” Elise tapped her nails upon the counter.
Anna sat her glass on the cool, marble counter top. “I don’t want to sell the house. Take it off the market.”
“What did you say?”
“I don’t want to sell the house. It’s not for sale, at least not right now.”
“Then, when?” Elise frowned against her voice rising.
“I don’t know, but not now.” She padded back to the foyer. “Send me a bill for your time, the decorator, and the rental furniture. I’ll have Henderson cut you a check.”
Again Elise frowned as she followed.
“Anna, what happened in the meeting this morning?”
Anna slid her foot into her shoe.
“Let’s just say, I can’t sell the house. Not right now.”
“Why? What about all the bills you owe? Just yesterday you were dying to unload it.”
The word unload tore through Anna’s mind, bringing with it shocks of pain and joy that she’d experienced in the house. “This house is not a burden.”
“Excuse me?” Elise knitted her brows. “But you’ve been complaining these last fifteen months about how Edward’s been stalling with the divorce and holding up the sale of the house. Now you’re giving in? What did he say to you this morning?” Again, she perched hands upon her hips. Elise never liked Edward. “Anna, what did he do?”
“Nothing. Except having signed the divorce papers.”
“He signed the divorce papers and ...?”
“He also gave me the house.”
“And why, pray tell, do you want it off the market?”
“Because, as I said, I don’t want to sell it. I won’t. Not right now.”
“This makes no sense.”
“I need it,” Anna said.
“So Edward gave you the house.” Elise brought her fingers to her temple. She began pacing. “You’ve decided to not sell it, at least not for now? What about France?” Elise whipped around.
“I’m not going. I can’t. I’ve got to stay here and take care of Ed ward.” The words slipped out.
“Edward?” Elise gestured with her hands and frowned, the lines deepening in her face. Elise had held Anna throughout bouts of depression during the time of Edward’s constant absence when Anna felt overwhelmed with the children’s needs. “What’s he done now?” Elise asked.
“Nothing, except set me free.”
“And you’re choosing to stay in bondage?”
“I’m going to help him.”
“To do what? Destroy you? That’s all he’s ever set out to do. Ed ward Manning’s one intent is to make everyone he’s around as miserable as —”
“He has cancer,” Anna said. “Edward has cancer. He’s dying.”
“Serves him right.” Elise pursed her lips and arched her thin frame.
“Elise, please.”
Anna turned from her friend. She envied Elise’s body, and regretted having given so much of herself to Edward and their kids. She had nursed the children from infant stage into toddlerhood and many times ate the leftovers of four- and five-year-olds rather than preparing a decent meal for herself. Eighteen months ago she had joined the gym. Three months later, she announced that she wanted a divorce and retained Henderson to represent her. The slowness in shedding the extra pounds had forced her to continue exercising at the gym to relieve the stress of the divorce. Anna had entered her seventh month of exercising and was four months into the divorce proceedings when she’d met Inman Hayes at the gym. Just released from the hospital after a severe car accident, he’d come there for his first physical therapy appointment.
“Does Inman know?” Elise probed.
“No. I only learned two hours ago.”
“You do plan to tell him?”
“I have to.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game. Inman loves you. He’s offering you your first chance at happiness. Now you’re turning around and—”
“Edward’s dying.”
“Let the dead bury the dead.”
Anna arched her eyebrows.
“I watched you make the horrible decision of marrying Edward Manning, and all that’s resulted,” Elise said. “None of us liked him. Least of all your mother.”
“She was a horrible judge of character.”
“And all of the rest of us were, too?”
Anna folded her arms and turned toward the window that opened onto the patio next to the empty pool.
“You think I don’t know?” Elise grasped Anna’s arms.
Anna shook her head in another attempt to free herself from what Elise was making all too explicit.
“You have spent your entire life trying to be with Edward Manning when he doesn’t even know how to be with himself. He’s arrogant and self-absorbed, has had more affairs than you have under panties, and he’s still not happy.” Elise continued. “At least you took the time to wash your lingerie. He just kept moving forward, never looking back at the damage he caused. You had enough and broke free of him. Now with a chance at happiness and everything you’ve wanted, you’re forfeiting it all for Edward?”
“It’s not that simple. The children love their father,” Anna defended. “I can’t abandon him, not now.”
“And you don’t think they love you if you don’t continue to sacrifice your life for Edward?” Elise touched Anna’s shoulder and heaved a deep sigh. “The children need you. Thank God Linda found Brad and has someone to focus on her. You were so obsessed with Edward.”
“I never ignored my children or their needs.” Anna stepped back and steadied herself against the impact of Elise’s implication. “I was always there for them, most of all Linda.”
“If that’s the case, why do you think she tried to commit suicide?” Elise asked. “And Serine—she was always crying and begging me to explain why you were so unhappy. Don’t tell me it was because she was the last one home.” Elise grasped Anna’s arms. Anna pulled away. “Everyone knew what Edward was doing. David, Theo, Linda, and Serine were well aware as children what Edward was putting you through by being away all the time—and with God knows who. It’s amazing he didn’t give you some kind of disease.”
“That’s enough.” Anna whipped around.
“It was one thing for Edward to have all those affairs. Quite an other for you to try and pret
end he wasn’t.” Elise heaved a sigh. “If what you say is true, that Edward is truly dying, then you’d better toughen up, because you are all the children have ever really had.” She softened her voice. “Stop chasing a dream that’ll never materialize. The children need you. You need you. Go through with the divorce, sell the house, take Inman, and leave for France the way you planned.”
A knock sounded at the front door. Then it opened. Supported by his cane, Inman stepped in.
“What a pleasant surprise.” Elise plastered a smile on her face. Anna took a deep breath and gathered herself. “I can’t believe you’re still using that thing.” Elise greeted Inman with a light peck on the cheek.
“It’s what keeps Anna around, and me in her good graces.” He approached Anna.
“I was telling Anna—” Elise started.
“She was just leaving.” Anna eyed her friend sternly.
“Fill that pool and—” Elise gave a crumpled smile. The house grew silent. Elise broke the stillness by glancing at her watch. “I do have to meet another client.” She kissed Anna’s cheek, and whispered, “Call me.”
“And send me that bill,” Anna said.
“Like I said ... “ Elise nodded her head, shook her forefinger at Anna, and left.
Anna walked through the open sliding glass door and to In man who was leaning upon his cane as he studied the empty pool. “Seems Elise has better plans for the house,” Inman said.
“She wants to make a sale.”
He brushed his cane beside the pool. “And you don’t?”
“Not right this minute.” Anna walked further onto the patio that was bathed in late afternoon sunlight and lowered herself into one of the chairs. Joining her, Inman laid his cane aside. Anna took in his smooth cinnamon face. His thick eyebrows and long lashes underscored his childlike eagerness to trust and attempt things new. Yet, Inman was no pushover. Nor was he naïve.
“You know how when you’ve always wanted something,” Anna started, “and you were certain that if you got it, it would set you free? Everything would be right in the world, no more mistakes, no more wrong turns. You’d have figured out everything you needed to know, what you missed as a child. Then, you could live your life.”
The House Page 3