Accepting David’s invitation to spend Christmas with him and Heather in Detroit provided Anna more encouragement and evidence of her children’s ability to move beyond their father’s death. It also left Anna feeling somewhat guilty of having ignored Theo and Millicent. Anna coaxed herself to remember that Inman had been with them for Thanksgiving. By way of Linda, she had also learned that Inman’s daughter, Dancia, would be accompanying him to Chicago for Christmas. Inman needed time and space to introduce his daughters to each other. Christmas would be their first time meeting. Inman would finally tell them the truth.
On Christmas Eve, Anna spoke to Theo privately. “How are things with Millicent and Dancia?” she asked.
“It’s slow going,” Theo said, the energy of hope filling his voice. “They’re warming to each other. The prospect of the twins helps. That and the fact that Inman keeps emphasizing that he met Henrietta before marrying Dancia’s mother.”
“I hope Dancia remembers that fact when considering Inman’s annual trip to a July business conference—the guise he used when visiting Millicent in Chicago,” Anna said.
Inman’s concerns that Dancia would level negative judgment upon his past actions reminded Anna of how she had, during those last weeks of Elena’s life, thought of her father. Anna had concluded the Reverend Elijah to have been unfaithful. Now having heard Inman’s story, having gained another perspective on how human individuals log these clandestine occasions into the filing cabinets of our hearts and minds, Anna wondered of the phenomenon of unfaithfulness, the experience of infidelity, and also the act of betrayal. Anna considered herself having been unfaithful to Edward. More than that she had lied to herself when asking for the divorce. Anna had betrayed herself and her heart, all that she believed and hoped when declaring that her love for Edward had died, and was no more.
Again Bryce accompanied Anna for her holiday travels. The two arrived for Christmas at David and Heather’s home in Detroit, and found Serine already present. David eagerly welcomed Anna seeing to her every need, and what he thought she might desire.
After dinner David came to Anna and quietly stated he had received the deed to the house. “I own it in name only,” he emphasized. “In my heart it will always be yours. I speak for everyone else.”
Anna’s smile, and gracious “Thank you,” did little to comfort him.
Later that night, the children, Heather, Serine, and Bryce in bed and the house quiet, he suggested, “Why don’t you just buy it back from me. For $1? I’ll even give you the dollar.” Anna and David had been sitting on the couch, the fireplace aglow before them and casting warmth upon their legs.
“That’s not what your father wanted,” Anna said.
“And we know Dad was having a hard time of it those last few weeks.”
“You forget,” Anna said. “Your father made out his will months before he died.” She reached over and touched David’s hand, which was trembling like his lips.
“I want you to be happy. I need you to be happy,” he whispered.
“I am happy,” Anna said. David felt heartily sorry for how he behaved. But like many men and women, he did not know how to ask for forgiveness.
“The house,” he continued. “It’s yours. It belongs to y—”
Anna placed her forefinger upon his lips.
“This is what gives me joy.” She turned to the Christmas tree decorated with white lights flashing and standing by the window. She then pointed to the stockings hanging from the mantle over the fireplace. Anna had brought five with her, one for David and Heather’s children, Emily and Josh, two more for David and Heather, and one also for Bryce. Seeing Serine present, she had rushed out to the mall and purchased a sixth that she filled with bath gel and Godiva chocolates for her youngest.
“I’m your mother and always will be,” Anna said to David. “I’ll always love you. No matter what. Don’t ever forget that.”
David breathed in. His hands began to tremble as he held back tears.?
Chapter 57
Anna and Bryce remained with David until the New Year, then returned to Oakland. By the end of January, Anna was back in Los Angeles, this time for the birth of Edward Manning Oliver, Linda and Brad’s first child and Anna’s third grandchild. Life picked up speed in early March when Millicent gave birth to Anna Hayes Manning and Inman Regarde Manning. Anna allowed Inman time to visit with them before she scheduled her trip to see Theo, Millicent, and the twins at the end of March.
Two days before she was to leave for Chicago, she called Theo. He confirmed that Inman was returning to Oakland before she arrived.
Yet when driving her from O’Hare to his and Millicent’s home, Theo carefully pointed out, “He asks about you all the time.”
Anna thought about Inman, too. But Edward had died. And with that had gone much of her hatred toward him. She now held him in compassion, wished for him a better life in the world he had entered, a place she was trying to reach.
Anna did not want to run from the hurts of her marriage with Edward, and those she had felt while watching him die in her arms. Neither did she want to sulk and give way to feelings of desperation that often overtook her. More times than she cared to admit, particularly to herself, Anna wished for Inman’s arms to wrap her and kiss her neck as he had done on that night in the bedroom of his house atop Grizzly Peak and overlooking UC Berkeley. Yet the longer she remained from him, the more Anna feared losing all hope of life and possibilities of love that the future could deliver.
In her efforts to remain grounded, Anna refused to push away the reality that Inman was Millicent’s father. Much came with that fact, most specifically how Anna had felt about Millicent before learning that not only was Inman her father, but how that came about. Anna would not return to Inman unless she could show him compassion, love and respect for what he had endured as the result of his actions and Henrietta’s. And yet Millicent remained her daughter-in-law, the two of them connected by Theo.
“I haven’t been avoiding you,” Anna said on arriving at Theo and Millicent’s home ten days after the birth of the twins. She felt the need to explain her absence during Thanksgiving and Christmas. “You needed time with your father,” Anna said to Millicent. “And by that I mean Inman.” Anna wanted no confusion. Millicent smiled. Some minutes later, she thanked Anna not only for her ability to give her and Theo space and time to integrate Inman and Dancia into their lives, but also for, “Your honesty.”
In explaining, Millicent said, “Mama and Daddy, Thelonius, can’t get used to me knowing the truth. They’ve held so long to the lie that Thelonius Regarde was my father now that the truth is out they don’t know what to do.”
“But Thelonius is your father,” Anna said. “That’s why I clarified about whom I was speaking in this instance, Inman. There’ll be other times when I say your father and I’ll be speaking of Thelonius.” Millicent looked to Anna. With Inman Regarde nursing at her breast, Millicent had been sitting in the recliner with Anna holding Anna Hayes. Seeing that Inman Regarde, the younger of the twins, had fallen asleep at her nipple, Millicent lifted the infant and asked for his elder sister.
Daughter-in-law and mother-in-law exchanged infants. Millicent settled into nursing Anna Hayes at her other breast, the one over her heart.
With Inman Regarde fast asleep in her arms, Anna smiled upon her granddaughter sucking at Millicent’s breast.
“David always liked sucking from the nipple over my heart.”
“I save this one for Anna,” Millicent smiled knowingly. “Inman doesn’t seem to care. He just wants the milk.”
“He’s like Theo, just wants to be close.” Anna then said, “He always liked my right breast.” She smiled. A warm feeling of closeness overcame her.
“He’s good like that.” Millicent beamed her eyes again and held that glow of recognition. “I love your son. I would never do anything to hurt him, ever,” Millicent said.
“Thank you.” Anna wished to say the same to Millicent regarding her
father, Inman. And yet she feared she had done that very thing. “I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you.”
Millicent said, “I’m sorry for not giving you the chance to love me the way I’ve always wanted. And for envying you the ability to do what I feared I never could.” Millicent explained how from the first moment of meeting Theo, and then hearing about Anna she had prayed for Anna’s acceptance.
Again, Anna felt truly sorry for the way she had behaved to Millicent over the years. “I felt like such a failure to the children, that their father’s and my marriage had burdened them with a hurt that my love could not heal.”
Cradling Anna Hayes with one hand Millicent extended her other to Anna. On Anna grasping it, Millicent said, “I always felt you were the perfect mother, despite all that Father Manning did.” Hearing Millicent say Father Manning soothed the loss of what Anna had hoped to share with Edward, at least in this lifetime. “You have a wonderful family. All your children. I’m so thankful to be a part of this family. Having you as my mother-in-law and knowing what you endured gave me the strength to forgive my mother and to open my heart even more to Papa Inman.”
Anna’s heart grew full. She felt herself about to cry. Clutching Millicent’s hand she looked into the eyes of her infant grandson, Inman Regarde Manning. The world that had moments earlier threatened to careen out of control slowed to a rhythm moving in time with her heart and breathing. Anna ebbed closer to the shores of peace and calm.?
Chapter 58
In late April, five months after Edward’s death, Anna’s children gathered at the house in Oakland. At dinner on the first night after their arrival, she took her seat at the end of the table opposite where Edward had sat throughout her marriage and during the meal where Serine and David had made their outbursts. On this evening Edward’s chair stood empty.
The children occupied the seats they had filled when Edward had last been among them. Theo to her left held Anna Hayes Manning barely three weeks old while Millicent next to him held Anna Hayes’ twin brother, Inman Regarde Manning.
To Anna’s right was David with Heather beside him. Next to Heather sat Linda, holding Edward Manning Oliver with Brad at the end across from Serine and Bryce, whom Anna had asked to join them.
Anna was hesitant to interrupt the peaceful hum of conversations encompassing the table as everyone enjoyed first and second helpings of rice pilaf, and sautéed chard with either baked tilapia or braised chicken.
So much was different since she had last eaten with her children in this house. The presence of Heather beside David; the two of them smiling as they spoke to those around and across from them, gave Anna hope that their marriage would survive. That Millicent had insisted on coming despite having just given birth, emphasized her commitment not simply to Theo, but that as she had stated, “I need you in my life. However you decide to leave things with Papa Inman. I hold no hard feelings.”
And then there was Linda and Brad, also proud parents and beaming. Serine beside Bryce had lost interest in the drama surrounding her relationships with Grant and Matt. Perhaps it was Bryce’s close relationship with Edward as his mentor that so attracted her to Bryce whose presence had a calming effect. She was learning much about her father from Bryce.
Anna tapped the spoon to her water glass several times then stood. All eyes turned from those with whom they had been speaking.
“It’s good to have all of you here.” Her heart warmed as they smiled. “Thank you for coming. And at such short notice.” The smiles around the table widened. Unlike when she had announced that she was seeking to divorce their father, Anna had, after Ed ward’s death, not retreated into a shell. She had instead kept in touch, calling all four of her children each week. She would do the same in the future. “It’s been great running your father’s company, Manning Ventures,” Anna started once more.
“Don’t you mean your company?” David asked.
“Perhaps. But as I was about to say, in so doing I’ve learned a lot. First of which is how great a choice Edward made in having Bryce as his right hand man.” Anna looked to Bryce at the far left end of the table. “There’s no way I could have done any of this without you. I’m now certain that had Edward not had you, he would never have entertained the idea of me running the company. Which brings me to my second point. Much of what I’ve learned in these last six months at the helm of Manning Ventures has been exciting and eye opening.” Anna paused. Seeing that she was about to cry, Theo lifted her left hand, David her right. She thanked them.
“As I said, I’ve learned a lot.” She started once more. “Your father worked very hard. Very hard. I don’t know how he did it. Despite his shortcomings, I’m very grateful for what he provided this family. Manning Ventures was his world, and he knew it inside and out. Bryce has shown me that.” With tears threatening to spill into her throat once more, she again thanked Bryce.
“But as I said, I’ve learned a lot. And one of those things is that I’m not cut out for running a company, certainly not the size of Manning Ventures. Neither do I want to do it.”
Smiles around the table faded. Anna turned to David on her right. “I’d like you to go and sit in your father’s chair.” Startled, but obedient, and penitent, he did as Anna requested. “How does it feel?” she asked.
“Scary.” His face held a sense of wary caution as he grasped the side arms to the chair.
“Well, you’re going to have to get used to it,” Anna said. “I want you to sit there when you and Heather and the children eat here in the dining room.” David and Heather would be moving into the house in two months. Anna then said, “I’ve decided not to take the apartment I looked at over in Alameda.”
“So you’re going to take me up on my offer to buy the house—for a dollar?” David assured everyone. His face at the other end held an aura of hope. “We could all live here together,” Heather said.
“Thank you,” Anna said. “It’s good to know that your children and their spouses like to have you around, need you.” She smiled at Millicent now once more nursing Inman Regarde and a warm feeling of freedom spread over her.
She said, “I’m moving to France. And I want—no, I’m asking David if you will run Manning Ventures.” For a moment Anna thought David would cry. In his hesitancy, she feared he would decline.
“Well come on, man. It’s Mom,” Theo said. “You can’t refuse her.”
David lifted his head to Linda who was beaming and turned to Serine, also smiling. To Anna he said, “Of course. I’d be glad to.” Against everyone clapping, the little boy inside the man, David, then mouthed, “Thank you.”
Joy filled Anna.?
Chapter 59
At the outset of May, the week after Anna had hosted the children, Anna met Elise for breakfast. They had begun eating at the Amory Village Egg Shoppe when she said, “I’m putting David in charge of the company. He and Bryce work well together.”
“Have you told Inman?” Elise said.
“Bryce notified him like all the other board members and trustees.”
“But I thought you said Inman had stepped down from representing his aunt.” Elise screwed her face. “Does Inman know that you’re moving to France?”
“He’ll learn soon enough.” Anna bit into her toast.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving him.” Elise challenged Anna. “The man loves you.” They had discussed the topic several times in the last months.
“I don’t know what more you could want, and that he could give,” Elise said. “Are you mad? The man loves you.”
“A marriage takes more than love,” said Anna.
“And who said anything about marriage?” Elise’s eyes widened. “That’s what Inman wants.” Anna gave a shrug.
“Did he say that, ask you to marry him?”
Inman’s words returned to her. I’ll take you any way that feels safe for you. Time’s over for people making demands on you and your life.” Inman’s desire to be with Anna, his declaration of love, “I need you
, want you in my life. I promise to make you happy, more than Ed ward ever did,” left Anna feeling trapped. “I’m free now,” Anna said.
“To do what, be alone?” Again Elise frowned this time in frustration. She reached across the table and grasped her hand. “I’ve watched you give everything to your marriage and your children. When are you going to give something to yourself?” Elise then said, “I’ve stopped blaming Edward for all your hurts. If I can do that so can you. I’m asking you, pleading. Think of your own happiness.”
“And why is my happiness so important to you? I’m moving to Paris. That’s what’ll make me happy.”
“Ha!” Elise angled her head. “And what will that be without In man?”
“He had an affair with Millicent’s mother. He’s Millicent’s father and Theo’s father-in-law.”
“And you’re grandmother to his grandchildren,” Elise rebutted. “It’s not like the two of you are going to have any children.”
“Still, it’s not right.” Anna shook her head.
“What’s not right?” Elise asked.
“The nature of these relationships. It’s too incestuous.”
“And to think,” Elise quipped, “you had accused Millicent, figuratively speaking, of having an affair with Thelonius.”
Anna resumed eating her eggs.
On finishing her eggs, Elise said, “I get it. If you continue with Inman, you’ll have to make amends with Millicent.”
“We’ve done that,” Anna said. “She’s innocent in all of this.”
“So you admit you were wrong about her?”
“Yes. And I told her as much. But he was unfaithful, her father.”
“Which father?” Elise asked. “Thelonius or Inman?”
“Both.”
“So you’ve let Millicent off the hook but not Thelonius or Inman.”
“They were like Edward.”
Elise stared at her. “And you?”
“I was like them too. I slept with Inman while I was still married to Edward.” Anna lifted her last strip of bacon.
The House Page 30