A Brother At My Back

by A. J. Downey

  “Nik,” she said softly, voice a solemn plea as I kissed across her stomach. I glanced up at her and she was practically begging with her eyes for all that I could give her and I was more than happy to. I would give her the world if she asked it.

  I skimmed her knickers down her long legs and kept her gaze locked on mine as I licked her from opening to clit. I plunged my middle finger carefully into her, her body wet and ready for it, hips arching; lightly rising and falling in an unconscious effort to fuck my hand.

  I loved her reactions. I loved that she could let go with me and turn herself over to just feeling in the moment. I knelt by my bed, her legs practically wrapped around my head and did everything in my power to make the world shatter around her.

  She moaned and rocked against my tongue, gripping the duvet in her fists, her pussy clamping around my fingers and I knew when she tightened up like that that she was close. I took a deep breath just before she snapped back like she’d been electrocuted. Her body went stiff, her pussy rippled and a stiff, choked-off cry escaped her lush mouth. She forgot to breathe when she came, and I thought it was fantastic. She always crashed back to earth and sucked in air like a drowning woman and I loved that I could make her drown in sensation so completely that she sometimes forgot the basics, like drawing air.

  She went limp, her legs releasing me and twitching faintly with her little aftershocks as she gasped for air, chest heaving. I climbed her body, fisting and stroking my cock. We’d already fucked up and done it without a Frenchie once, but I couldn’t really care about it, it’d been so amazing and worth it. Still, we agreed we needed to be more careful, so I swept one of the gold foil packets off the top of the mini-fridge by the bed. She watched me, eyes dark with lust and if darkness could glow, her eyes did it with a light of a completely different emotion.

  My heart knew it without her ever having to say the words. She loved me, too.

  I rolled the slick latex down my length and got between her legs. She reached for me and I introduced myself into her body slowly, so slowly it’d like to drive me insane and I didn’t break eye contact as I did it. I wanted her to see, hear, feel, taste and hear just how much I loved her. I wanted it to sink in, for her to understand that she was so much more than the scared, abused woman that I’d met weeks back.

  She was stronger than she knew, braver than she knew, smarter than she knew, and she needed to own that. She needed to hold onto it and never let it go again.

  31

  Tiffany…

  My mind was a pleasant blank. He moved over me and inside me, staring intently, lovingly, into my eyes as he did it. I was so calm, so languid, so relieved that right in front of me was what I thought I would never have again. I wasn’t alone, and I knew deep down in my soul that I never would be and it was such a beautiful agony.

  I missed my friend, there would be no replacing her, the hole left in my heart from her murder would never heal. Right now, though, I clung to Nik and was just so grateful for him. I never wanted this to end. It was peaceful here in his arms, safe and sure. I didn’t have to fight, I didn’t have to be afraid; I could simply be who I was and even be happy if I wanted to. He was my refuge where I’d never had one before.

  I wrapped my legs around him and palmed one firm globe of his ass and pulled him in deeper. He groaned and it was such a low-key yet ecstatic sound I couldn’t help but smile. He buried his face in the side of my neck and kissed along the side of it until he found that spot that sent shivers all over my body and elicited a moan of my own out of me.

  I loved that he could go for what seemed like forever, I loved that I could let everything fall away and just be with him. I loved him, and I wasn’t afraid to admit that to myself. It was so freeing, I can’t even explain it, and the deep well of emotion just went deeper and deeper just as he moved deep and deeper still inside of me like he touched my soul.

  I pushed on him and he rolled onto his back, taking me with him. I rose up above him and the way he looked at me made me tighten around him. I rode him with a smooth rolling motion of my own hips, taking him deep and rising to the point I almost lost him before I plunged back over the top of him, riding him all the way down again.

  Slow and sensual, I made love to him and I swear, I just couldn’t get enough. It was like I was on the edge of something huge, the universe holding its collective breath around me and he was so good at keeping me there. Right there, on the very precipice and it felt so damn good, like butterflies kissed the insides of my walls with their wings setting off sparks alighting down my nerve endings, flaring bright and winking out, another spark flaring brightly where the first had died. It was a chain reaction that was magical, mystical, and I’d never felt anything like it.

  I was surely hooked on it, though. It was better than any drunk or cannabis high I’d ever experienced and I vaguely wondered if this is what a harder drug might feel like. If it was, I could understand why the rate of addiction was so high.

  To me, Nik had become my perfect drug. All of the benefits, none of the nasty side effects.

  “Oh, baby, I’m going to come,” he warned and I bit my bottom lip and frowned slightly. I wasn’t ready for this to end. I wanted to stay here, like this, forever and even though I knew in the front of my mind that wasn’t possible, I was happy living in my little fantasy world for the time being.

  Nik reached between us, and that slow beautiful sparkling firefly effect seemed to fully ignite and before I could stop it, I was burning. Flashfire sweeping through me and over me, burning me to cinders, then burning me still, until nothing but fine ash remained and I was reborn, limp against his chest, held close, his lips playing against my forehead, his hands sweeping over my body in a light caress as he slowly went soft inside me.

  “Holy shit,” I gasped out between breaths, and Nik laughed beneath me, just as out of breath as I was. I closed my eyes and slid down his body some, laying my ear over his heart. He threaded his fingers through my hair and I loved it when he did that. He played with it, combing through it and trailing fingertips down my back and I shuddered and he cried out in reaction.

  “Ah, God! That was almost too much,” he said.

  I sighed, asking lazily, “What was?”

  “Whatever reaction that was just did some fantastic things for my cock, but I’m too sensitive, you know?”

  “Mm, I do know.” I sighed out, content, mind still quiet, and I swear, Nik was better than any of the Valiums Lia used to slide in my direction when the anxiety got too bad.

  I physically started with how violently the thought crashed into my brain and Nik immediately asked, “What’s wrong, eh?”

  “I love you, too,” I blurted. I pushed up off his chest so I could look him in the eyes. “I just realized I never said it back.”

  “Ah, to be fair, you were a bit busy showing me, eh?”

  “You’re not upset?” I asked.

  He shook his head and lightly ran fingertips along the curves of my face as if committing my face to memory by touch as much as he was by sight.

  “Could never be mad about what we just shared.”

  I bit my bottom lip and nodded when a light knock fell at the door. I sat up and Nik had me roll off to the side so he could get the quilt at the foot of the bed up over us.

  “Come in!” He called and Dragon poked his head in. I held the quilt to my chest even though he’d seen me naked like a thousand times by now, and he smiled a knowing and glad smile.

  “Party out at Point Nowhere, you coming?” he asked.

  I froze and Nik and I exchanged a look. Before he could answer, I said quickly, “I want to go, too.”

  Silence hung between the three of us and Dragon let go of the doorknob he’d been resting his hand on with a clatter that was almost too loud to be believed. He shut the door behind him and crossed his arms over his chest.

  “You gave this to us; technically its club business now,” he said, and I dug my heels.

  “Just because its club busines
s now, doesn’t mean it ever stopped being my business. I asked you for help, it’s true, but I need this.”

  Dragon rose his eyebrows and Nik laid his palm on my lower back, kneading with his fingertips along either side of my spine, a silent urge to caution. It both calmed me and tempered my resolve into steel.

  I’d done nothing but be cautious and self-centered about it, too. Now Zeke had been hurt and Delia had been killed and by God, I wouldn’t let him get away with it. I would look this monster in the eyes. I would slay this dragon of mine and know, for a fact, that he would never hurt another person ever again. I had to, I needed to, and Delia needed someone to speak for her who loved her.

  I said all of it, spilled my truth into the air and punctuated it by punching the mattress by my hip. Dragon stared at me, expression shuttered, and took a deep breath, letting it out in a rush.

  “Now you really do remind me of my wife.”

  “Well, if your wife’s answer to this particular problem would be to kick you in the balls and climb over your body to get to the motherfucker who killed her friend, then yeah. I’m with her.”

  He laughed, a rich, loud booming thing that bounced from the ceiling and dripped down the walls, coating the room with rich sound. He thumbed a tear out of the corner of his eye and nodded, “Yeah. That would have been Tilly’s answer. She either went over me, under me or damn near through me if she wanted it bad enough. I gotta tell you, girl. This is the kind of thing you don’t come back from. You should let us handle it, trust us that it’s done, get on with yer life.”

  “If Lia were still here, that’d be an option, but not anymore.”

  “I don’t see you trying to talk her out of this shit,” he remarked to Nik, who was leaned up against the headboard behind me.

  “She knows what she wants. I’m here for her. I honestly think she’s right. I may not like it, but I get it.”

  It was less than a rousing endorsement but I’d take it. Dragon hung his head and sighed, looked up at Nik and said, “Well, ain’t you stuck between the past and the future?”

  “Just taking it minute by minute here, Boss… but yeah. Yeah, I am.”

  “Put some fuckin’ clothes on, I’m goin’ out to have a smoke and think about it.”

  He went out the door and closed it behind him. I let out a breath I hadn’t known I’d been holding.

  “Do you think -?”

  Nik cut me off, “I don’t know, but it’s a good chance, eh. Find some clothes.”

  We dressed, quickly and for warmth, and headed out of the building. Dragon’s old truck was idling on the track and he turned around, sucking on a cigarette.

  “Get in the truck before I change my mind,” he grated and I nodded and slid into the middle, feet on either side of the hump, my nerves on fire for a completely different reason now.

  Dragon got behind the wheel and Nik got in beside me, taking my hand closest to him and rubbing it between his own. The gesture was both reassuring and appreciated as he worked out the chill in my fingers. I got cold so easily, I swear but the kind of cold I was now? Frozen down to my very soul? It wasn’t a chill that could be rubbed away or cured with a blanket. No hot shower, no cup of tea was going to fix it, and I’m afraid it only grew worse, my stomach knotted with dread, the closer we got to the place Nik took me shooting the first time.

  Why they called it Point Nowhere I didn’t know and it didn’t seem like a question I should ask. I’d learned in my line of work since Silas fucked up my face that ignorance really was bliss. That there were just certain things you didn’t ask or talk about and that it really was better to just go with the flow. It was amazing what you learned when you kept your mouth shut and your ears and eyes open.

  The snow was falling, and it was making it slow going. We made it up the long driveway to the lot outside the metal outbuilding with its rusting wrecks of cars, so blanketed with white they were unrecognizable, like hunkered hulking creatures poised to wake and leap out. Sleeping sentinels.

  Dragon cut the engine and sighed. He looked over at me, the cold creeping in slowly, wafting in off the glass and said, “Last chance to spare yourself, Sweetheart. You don’t have to go in. You can stay right here and just let us handle this for you.”

  I shook my head. “Not how it works,” I replied simply and he nodded, his mouth set in a grim line. I wasn’t sure how he got it, that I needed to do this, but he did, and I wasn’t going to poke at it. I just needed to finish it. Suck it up, get my ass in there and throw the closet door wide, lift the proverbial blankets and confront the monster under my bed. Except this was a waking nightmare and all too real, and it was one I was sick and tired of living in. I understood now, it was him or me, and the police? Law enforcement? The system? It was a joke. An illusion. A construct to make people feel better but that didn’t really do shit when it counted.

  These guys had it right, forming their own society. If you wanted something done right, you had to do it yourself and they were just as sick and disillusioned with the lies as I was. I looked over at Nik and he hooked a hand behind my neck and dragged my forehead to his lips. My eyes dropped closed and I took the comfort. I felt grounded by the gesture and I was honestly as ready as I would ever be.

  “Right, let’s do this,” Dragon said. “Get your closure or whatever and get this waste of fucking space out of yer life.”

  “Here, here,” I murmured.

  I followed Dragon out of the truck on his side and Nik slid over and out behind me. It was a better option than trudging around in the front of it in the damn near knee-deep drifts of snow that showed no sign of stopping.

  “At least the weather is on our side, yeah?” Nik commented as we went past a black SUV with deeply tinted back windows.

  “Ah, yeah,” Dragon agreed.

  I didn’t ask, even though the question of what that was supposed to mean was on the tip of my tongue.

  The side door to the building opened and Reaver stuck his head out. He spotted me and frowned, saying, “You don’t honestly think this is a good idea, do you?”

  “My call,” Dragon said, and Reaver nodded like that was enough for him. I don’t think I’d ever seen such unquestioning loyalty displayed before and it was a bit of food for thought.

  We passed through the door, and Archer, Rush, and Nox looked up from where they were standing around an old fifty-five-gallon metal drum, flames licking over the rim.

  “The fuck?” Archer scowled as he said it and the look was so menacing I took a half-step back into Nik, who’d come in at my back.

  “Not our call,” Reaver said with a shrug and looked over to Dragon.

  “Last time we involved a female in club business, that one got shot.” Rush jabbed a finger in Nik’s direction and I looked up at him. I’d seen a few scars on his body, but I hadn’t figured any of them for gunshot wounds.

  He shrugged and told me with his eyes we’d talk about it later and I turned back to the men in front and to the left of us.

  “She’s here now, have it out later,” Reaver said and it seemed to be the end of the discussion. He was standing off to the right of us and that’s where my gaze landed, on him and the two hooded men hanging by their wrists from chains dangling from the ceiling. I tried not to let it show but I was pretty sure I paled.

  “Time’s up, fuckers,” Reaver snarled and ripped the hoods from their faces. The first man, furthest from me, was Cooper, a strip of silver duct tape over his mouth. The second, blinking from the lights on stands in here, was Silas.

  I shuddered slightly. He’d put on size while in prison. His shoulders were wider, chest much bigger and his arms and hands something I was glad were tied above his head. He glared at Reaver, who grinned back and ruffled his hair playfully. Silas jerked, his eyes dark with anger, and snarled from behind his own bit of tape. Except, when he jerked at his bonds it spun him and he spotted me and his eyes went from pissed-off to incendiary, with an edge of surprise.

  Reaver ripped the tape off of Silas
’ mouth and I bit my bottom lip. I actually probably could have lived without that, but surprisingly, Silas didn’t say anything. At least not right away.

  I shook my head and stepped closer, but still stayed a goodly distance away. I mean, I wasn’t about to get within distance of him lashing out with those shitkickers of his. I knew how much it hurt to take a shot to the ribs with the pointed toe of one of those boots.

  “I didn’t think you had it in you to pull something like this off,” he snarled, and I shook my head.

  “Learned quite a few things in the last few years,” I said coolly and I was proud of myself. Nik hadn’t left me, remaining at my back, within reach, but at the same time letting me stand on my own, here.

  “Way Delia tells it, you learned the finer points of how to be a fucking whore. Only work you could get with a face like that?” he sneered.

  “Fuck you, Silas,” I snapped.

  “Hey!” he barked, then said with barely suppressed rage through gritted teeth, “You say ‘fuck you again,’ when I get out of here, I’m coming to find you and that’s just what I’ll do. I’m going to fuck you, just like I fucked your slut fri–“

  He didn’t get to finish. Adrenaline surged through my veins and the rush of fear, anger, rage, and pain was immediate, hot, and fresh. It welled out of the center of my being, erupting like blood from a cut, and painted the inside of my vision in red. I reached out, snagged the gun I knew Nik had in the back of his waistband and I emptied it into Silas without a second thought.

  I pulled the trigger over and over, and stopped only when it clicked empty. There was no missing at this range. There was no fear of hitting anyone else. There was just the white-hot desire to end him, to wipe the blight that was Silas-fucking-Grable off the face of the earth so there would be no more me’s and there certainly wouldn’t be any more Delia’s.