There's no time to change or make up a believable cover story.
Kat enters the room with a glass of water. She sits on the bed and hands me the drink. "Want to tell me what's going on?"
"I went out with Sarah and felt like coming here."
She opens her palm to reveal two ibuprofen. "Want to try again?"
"I wanted to see you, but you were out."
Despite the doubt in her expression, she hands over the pills. I swallow them and down all the water. The pounding in my head lessens by three percent. It's enough to motivate me to find my glasses and drag my heels to the kitchen.
According to the microwave, it's almost noon.
Kat pours and fixes two mugs of coffee. "You have ten messages from Nick. Does that have anything to do with your appearance here?"
"My phone was off last night."
She pushes my drink across the counter. "Sue me. I was worried. I've been caught up with wedding stuff and we haven't talked much."
"Two weeks from tomorrow."
She nods. "Not going to distract me." She sips her drink. "What happened?"
The squiggly thoughts in my brain straighten out. It's bright. I have coffee. I can think clearly, even with the pounding in my head.
There's really no decision here.
Nick loves the company more than anything. More than he'll ever love me.
I stare at my coffee. It's dark and deep, like Nick's eyes.
There's a pang in my chest. This is going to hurt so fucking bad, but it's the only thing that makes sense.
I look back to Kat. "I have to break up with Nick."
"Why?"
I struggle to find an explanation that won't give anything away. "He's in love with his job."
"So?"
"So? Didn't you break up with Blake because he was in love with his job, and he didn't love you or something like that?"
"Technically." She points to her engagement ring. "But I did give him another chance."
"He got lucky. You're forgiving."
"What about your internship?"
"I'll find another one."
"You're only halfway through the semester. What about school?"
"I don't know." I press my fingers into my mug. "Maybe... I wasn't learning anything. Maybe school isn't right for me."
"Elizabeth Marie Wilder! You are not dropping out of college because a guy broke your heart."
"It's not because of a guy. It's because the classes are worthless. I'm better off getting a junior programmer job somewhere. I'll learn more."
"I don't believe you."
I stare into my coffee, willing some kind of contentment to form in my expression.
"Blake's gotten better about work. Maybe Nick can—"
I stare her down. "Why do you care anyway?"
"You were happy last time you talked about him. I want you to be happy."
I study her expression. There's something she's not telling me. I'm sure of it.
"Is that all?" I ask.
"He sounded so worried about you, Lizzy. Like he really loves you."
"When did he sound worried?"
She blushes, embarrassed. "I might have listened his voice mails."
"Snooping brat."
"I'll make you pancakes."
"Won't Blake freak about the mess?"
"Let him." She slides into the seat next to me and looks me over like she's inspecting a torn painting. "There's more going on. You can tell me."
"It's the only decision that makes sense." I play with the bottom of my cocktail dress.
"Feelings aren't logical."
"No, but decisions should be."
"Lizzy—"
"I've made up my mind. Now make me pancakes if you want me to forgive you for invading my privacy."
She frowns but gathers a bowl and flour.
I give Kat a few minutes to get started, but she has no idea what she's doing. I take over the process, measuring, stirring, and flipping until my entire world is pancakes.
I'm almost finished when the intercom buzzes.
Kat excuses herself to answer. "Yes."
The doorman speaks. "Katrina, there's a Mr. Marlowe here to see Miss Elizabeth Wilder about a personal matter."
I can't breathe.
Not now. Not here. Not yet.
She turns to me. "Do you want me to let him in?"
I turn off the stove and take a deep breath to collect my senses. There's no way to stop this. Maybe it's better to get it over with, so it's not hanging over my head all day.
I nod. "Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
Worry flashes over her face, but she turns back to the intercom. "Let him up. But give us two minutes first."
"Of course, Ms. Wilder."
She unlocks the door and makes her way to the kitchen. Her eyes bore into me, examining me the way she examines something she's going to draw.
"You know, if you do love him, you might be able to work this out. Whatever it is," she says.
"I made my decision."
"You look like you're going to cry."
"I have to do this!" I bite my tongue. I can't get upset. That will bring questions, from Nick or from Kat or both. I have to convince them that I'm okay with this.
My stomach twists. It must be the hangover. I tear a pancake in half and stuff it into my mouth. It's perfect. Fluffy and slightly sweet with a warm burst of blueberries.
"Do you want me to go?" she asks.
"You can stay on the couch."
There's a knock on the door. My chest tightens. The room goes cold. I'm not sure I can do this.
Kat answers the door with a polite handshake hello. Nick is ragged. He's still handsome and well dressed—jeans and a sweater today—but his eyes are tired and he's at least two days without a shave.
He'll be happy soon.
He'll have the company back, and he'll forget about me, and he'll be happy.
That's what I want.
A tear forms in my eye. I wipe it away. I'm not crying. Not yet.
He comes closer, until there are only three feet between us. "Lizzy, what happened?"
"Nothing. I went out dancing with Sarah. I guess I was a little drunk. Just one of those drunk phone calls."
His brow furrows. His eyes fill with doubt. He's not buying this story.
I step back. "It's good you're here though. I have to talk to you about something."
He moves closer. Until he's six inches away. His fingertips slide over the sides of my cheek. My body fills with warmth. God, he feels good. I fight my desire to wrap my arms around him. That will only make this harder.
"You've been crying." His voice is soft.
"It's just a hangover."
"You're a terrible liar." He wipes a tear from my eye. "Tell me what's wrong, baby. We can fix it together."
I shake my head.
"We can."
"No, we can't."
"Lizzy—"
I step back, breaking from his touch. At once, I'm cold. My back tenses. My stomach churns.
"Did you come here because you thought I'd come looking for you at your apartment?"
"Did you?"
"Yes." He stares into my eyes. "What happened?"
"I realized something."
Dread spreads over his face.
I want so badly to wipe it away. I want to run my hands through his hair, to wrap my body around his, to soothe him today, and tomorrow, and every day, forever.
But this is the way I can make him happy.
The only way.
I stare back at Nick. "I think we should. No, there's no think, no should." I gather every ounce of strength in my body. "I'm breaking up with you."
Kat jumps towards the bedroom. "I'll give you guys a minute. Sorry." She slams the door shut on her way out of the room.
Nick moves closer. His hands go to my lower back and he pulls my body into his. "Tell me you don't feel something right now." He leans down and pres
ses his lips against mine.
God, how I feel something. I feel everything.
I step back. "I care about you Nick. That isn't the problem."
"Then what is?"
"Your life is full. You have your company. That's your priority. That's what makes you happy. There's no room for anyone or anything else. And I have a lot on my plate too. Figuring out what I'm doing with school. This relationship was never going to work. It's better if we end it now."
His eyes fill with sadness. "You don't believe that."
"Yes, I do." I try to convince myself. I make my voice as loud and confident as possible. "You'll be happier when you can focus on your work."
"And what about your internship?"
"If it's still there after this sale stuff settles down ... I'll ask another one of the programmers to teach me."
"None of them know AI like I do."
"I know." I bite my tongue so I can focus on how much that hurts instead of how much my heart hurts. "I'll find another internship."
His eyes go to the floor. "Is there any way I can change your mind?"
I rack my brain for something, some bone I can throw him so that he can fix this.
Nothing comes.
"You have your priorities," I say. "I have mine."
He steps back. "I respect your decision." His eyes meet mine. He opens his mouth like he's going to speak, but he says nothing.
"I'll walk you out." I press my hands to my sides so I won't be tempted to touch him.
Nick waits until we're at the elevator to speak. He turns to me, his eyes wide with something I don't recognize.
His voice is soft. "This could be forever."
The elevator doors slide open. He steps inside, his eyes on the floor.
"But if this is what you want—" He makes eye contact. "—I
do trust you."
The doors slide shut.
Nick is gone.
I make it all the way to the spare room before I curl into a ball and cry.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Kat brings me coffee and breakfast. "Do you want to talk?"
I shake my head and stuff my face with pancakes.
She sits with me until I finish my brunch then she takes the plates and makes herself scarce.
I lie in bed with my laptop, watching the first season of Battlestar Galactica in an attempt to think about anything besides Nick. My eyes are tired. I drift in and out of sleep. It's not even a little bit restful.
Mid afternoon, an email grabs my attention. From Phoenix Marlowe, to the entire Odyssey team. We're off Monday and Tuesday. The sale is still in the air. He'll have final word first thing Wednesday.
That's two days to breathe before I have to see Nick.
Maybe it's enough.
A little after seven, Kat drags me to the living room for dinner. It's something she made herself—pasta with meat sauce and a giant bowl of green salad. I sit at the table with her and Blake, stabbing my food with my fork and not at all paying attention to the conversation.
When we're finished, I clear the plates and wash the dishes. The scalding water barely makes an impression. I know it's hot, but I'm too numb to feel it.
Kat settles in front of the TV with her sketchbook, half watching a teen soap, half drawing. She pats the spot next to her. I look to Blake for some sign I'm encroaching on his turf.
He slides out of his seat. "I'm going to put in a few hours of work." He goes to the couch to plant a kiss on Kat's lips. "There's a lot to do before the wedding."
She beams. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
It's sweet enough to make me sick. I raid the fridge for something to counter the bile rising in my throat. Coffee ice cream. Perfect.
"You want dessert?" I ask no one in particular.
"Sure." Kat kisses Blake again. "None for Blake. He can't get his desk dirty."
He smiles that devious this is really about sex smile. It's been over a year since they met, and they still look at each other like they can't wait to tear each other's clothes off.
I focus on scooping ice cream. Once Kat and Blake are finished with their long goodnight, I make my way to the couch and hand my sister her mug.
The dessert is cold and creamy but it has no taste. Nothing about it makes me feel good.
Kat sets her half eaten treat on the coffee table and slides her arm around my shoulder. "You're growing up. You don't tell me everything anymore."
"I haven't told you everything for a long time."
"Still." She glances at the screen. "I'm getting married. You'll go back to Stanford. We'll have our own lives."
"I want to stay in New York."
"You can stay here. Or at the Brooklyn place. The sublet goes through June." She slides back into the couch. "Lizzy, I want to sell the Brooklyn apartment. Unless you want to live there."
"What? It's where we grew up. Everything last year—"
She turns to face me. "Half that money is yours. That's more than enough for college anywhere you want."
"But—"
"I don't care how much you fight me. I'm not going to let you take on the whole world alone. You're my best friend. You'll always be my best friend. I'd rather have you in New York, and I'm not afraid of using any tool in my arsenal to keep you here."
"Including that one—" I nod to Blake's home office.
She nods. Her expression gets serious. "If you want to talk about Nick, I'm here. I'll skip school, and we can go shopping. My treat. I need to pick up some honeymoon stuff."
"Do I have to talk about Nick?"
"You don't have to do anything. But I'm here. I'm always here." She throws her arms around me in a tight hug. "I've never seen you this miserable. Not since the accident."
"Yeah."
"I'm worried."
"You're always worried."
She grabs her ice cream and settles back into the couch. "I'm trying to respect your boundaries, you know."
I nod.
"You might feel better if you talk about it."
"I might."
I focus my attention on my ice cream. When I'm done, I drag the spoon around the porcelain cup, drawing circles in the melted dessert.
Maybe I'll feel better if I talk about it.
Like it's not impossible.
At the next commercial break, I take a deep breath. "I just want him to be happy."
Kat nods, attentive and sweet as always. I start talking and I don't stop until I've got nothing left to say.
***
Monday, Kat skips her afternoon classes. We take the subway to midtown and dig through a dozen boutiques and department stores in search of the perfect beach clothes.
Kat makes a point of asking my advice on every single article of clothing. The second my mind drifts back to Nick, she's there with a question about a style of bikini or the best pattern to match with white shorts or some inquiry that I can explain in great detail.
After three hours of shopping, I'm exhausted. I leave her to try on a dozen bikinis to find some caffeine. I pass the lingerie section on my way to the coffee shop. The colorful lace catches my eye. My head flashes with all sorts of mental images that were totally delicious two weeks ago. Right now, the thought of Nick with his pupils dilated and his lips parted only makes me feel heavy.
It hurts. It hurts a lot. But this is the only way I can help him. This is what will make him happy.
I can't bring myself to order a hot drink. I'm too cold to bear any threat of melting. I dump simple syrup into a cold brewed iced coffee and plant in the tiny wooden chair to drink it.
Eventually, Kat finds me. She's holding half a dozen shopping bags. She drops them in a mess on the floor to slide into the seat next to mine.
"You want to talk?" she asks.
I shake my head.
Her eyes go to the clock on the wall. "I have a meeting for a group project. You okay to leave?"
"You can go straight there. I'll take your stuff home."
; "You sure?"
I nod.
She squeezes me in an incredibly tight hug. I scoop up her bags and follow her to the subway. I plant in a seat on the six train. She leaves at Times Square to transfer.
The tiles whiz by. The people who enter and exit the train whiz by. Somehow, I get off the train at the right stop. It's cold today. The sun sinks into the horizon with a streak of red, like it's bleeding and broken and about to disappear.
Once I'm in the penthouse, I drop the bags by the front door and I bury myself in my room.
There's a breaking news story about Odyssey on my Google Alert. The headline tells me all I need to know.
CFO Shepard Marlowe Decides Not to Sell Odyssey and Controversial Virtual Assistant Project. Claims Company is Worth Five Times the OmniTech Offer.
Nick's company is safe. I should feel better. Freer. Calmer. Something.
But I still feel heavy. I still feel so heavy I can barely breathe.
CHAPTER THIRTY
I'm halfway through season two of Battlestar Galactica when a knock breaks my concentration. It's too early to be Kat. But what the hell could Blake want with me?
I yell in the direction of the door. "Kat isn't here."
"I know."
The door opens. There's Blake in his expensive black suit, his expression fire and steel.
"I want to talk to you. There's Thai food on the table." He moves to the living room like he's sure I'll follow.
I curse my hunger and my undying love of spicy shrimp dishes.
There's even a can of diet soda.
Fine. That earns my future brother-in-law exactly twenty minutes of my attention. I fix my plate with a giant scoop of brown rice and another of green curry. It smells good and, right now, I'll take any hint of good I can get.
"I heard about Odyssey." He pours himself a glass of whiskey on the rocks. "Is that good news?"
I nod.
"Lizzy, I'm not going to waste your time." He settles into a seat at the table. His voice is even like he's talking about the weather. "I transferred two hundred thousand dollars into your checking account."
"You what?"
He holds his expression. "With you and Kat owning the Brooklyn apartment, you no longer qualify for need based scholarships. I did that. You're a smart young woman and you deserve options. I'm giving yours back."
"Get the 'I told you so,' over with. I fucked Nick and it didn't work out well for me. You can lecture. I earned it."
The Billionaire's Need: An Alpha Billionaire Romance (The Billionaire's Deal Series Book 3) Page 21