by Nikki Landis
Yet Mal had fallen in love with me anyway. Despite my callous treatment of him in the beginning he had always stayed by my side. He had always been there for me. He never left me. His care had been constant. His affection constant. He had never wavered or left me since the day we met.
Mal taught me to shoot. To clean and reassemble my weapon. He had been patient and gracious, training me until I became efficient. His guidance alone had given me the strength and confidence to join the militia and fight the enemy. His good humor had pulled me from my despair.
Without Mal I don’t know where I would be right now, if even alive. I would not be a mother. A lover. A friend.
I stretched my fingers across the sheets and reached for him. I knew he would be there. He never deserted me. As sure as the sun rose and set, I knew Mal would be at my side.
Strong hands clasped mine.
“Mal,” I whispered hoarsely.
“Lizzie…oh darling you are awake.”
He sounded haggard and tired.
“Mal. Where’s my baby?” I asked, my mind clouded from sleep.
I blinked and opened my eyes slowly. Mal was leaning on the bed, staring down at me. His eyebrows were drawn together in a deep frown.
He nodded to a crib next to my bed. “He’s still asleep. Little guy got off without a scratch.”
He chuckled, the warmth of it landing in my chest.
I smiled, relieved. “Thank God.”
“Yes,” he agreed.
I squeezed his hand. There was so much to say I hardly knew where to begin. He opened his mouth to speak but I shook my head.
“Mal…I need to talk to you.”
His eyes instantly became wary. He glanced at the bed. I saw his jaw tighten and then relax. He wouldn’t meet my gaze.
“There is no need Lizzie. I told you I would leave you when you asked. Don’t worry yourself. I’ll be fine,” he gulped.
Leave? What in the world was he talking about? He couldn’t leave, not ever. Especially not now.
I shook my head. “No Mal. You misunderstand me.”
His eyes looked uncertain. “You don’t want me to go?”
“Never,” I breathed, “never Mal.”
Hope renewed. I saw it in his face.
“I simply want to thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you Mal.”
He blushed. “You don’t have to thank me Lizzie.”
“Oh but I do,” I argued, “I was terribly wrong about something. So very wrong Mal. I have wronged you.”
He looked surprised. “Wronged me? How?”
“That day when you found me after the bombing…all those days I was in the hospital, I falsely thought it was Darren who saved me,” I admitted.
He didn’t look surprised. “Yes, I know.”
He knew? “Why didn’t you ever tell me the truth?” I asked, confused.
“It didn’t matter Lizzie. We already had a deep friendship. I didn’t want to coerce you into feelings or obligation that didn’t exist in your heart. I didn’t need recognition from you,” he explained.
Yet that is exactly what Darren had done. Time and again he had used that as a weapon against me, a means to obtain my alliance and obedience.
Had I only known the truth back then I would have confronted Darren. I would have gone to Mal. It would have changed everything. I thought how different things would be now.
I intertwined my fingers with Mal’s.
“It was you who saved me that day and carried me to the hospital.”
He nodded.
“You were the one who stayed with me all those weeks. You’re the one who made sure I ate and was cared for.”
He nodded again.
“You never left my side.”
“Yes,” he answered simply.
Tears filled my eyes. “Why?”
He smiled softly. “I would not allow an innocent girl to be left alone and vulnerable. I stayed at first because I had to be certain you were cared for.”
“And after that?”
“I remember holding your hand as you wept silently even in your sleep. Your sorrow became my own. I mourned the loss of your family with you. The closeness of that experience…it endeared you to me,” he answered.
I gulped. Wow. How? How did I deserve such depth of feeling and devotion? Surely there was a reason we found each other. He was an amazing and generous man. There was more to our future, more to our friendship. There had to be.
“And then?” I dared to ask.
He looked right into my eyes. “I fell totally and completely in love with you. Irreversible I’m afraid.”
“Oh Mal,” I answered.
The truth had brought realization along with it. I loved Mal. I loved him dearly. I knew it more in that moment than I had ever thought before. Irreversible. Those were his words, and they were true.
I would never be able to thank him enough. He had saved me. Again and again. He had saved my son too. How did I say all that was in my heart?
“You saved me…in every way, more than once,” I whispered.
“Yes, and I would do it again…as often as you need me.”
I saw nothing but truth in his eyes. It must have tortured him to find me in love with Alec. It must have been agony to know I carried another man’s child. Yet, he remained completely dedicated to me, his love never wavering, and his heart steadfast.
“I love you with every breath in my body,” I admitted. It was true.
Shock then joy filled his features.
“Kiss me,” I demanded, pulling him toward me.
“Lizzie…” He answered, his voice stern.
“I love you Malcolm. Kiss me!”
He moved across the bed until he held me close. Gently he pressed his lips to mine. It started innocently enough but was soon so passionate I nearly forgot where we were.
I slid my arms around his shoulders and hugged him to my body. I would have pulled him even closer but he winced and pulled back, pain in his eyes.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” I asked, concerned.
“There was shrapnel in my back from the blast. I’m quite bruised.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“I’m fine. Just sore and healing. Nothing I haven’t dealt with before.”
“Oh Mal.”
“I’ll deal with the pain if I get to kiss you again,” he told me, raising his eyebrows up and down.
“Silly guy.” I playfully punched him on the arm.
His smile faded. “How are you feeling my darling?”
Honestly I felt sore and weak but otherwise fine.
“Sore, weak, and thirsty,” I admitted.
“I’m sure you are. You had a concussion Lizzie and a collapsed lung. It scared me half to death.”
He gave me a cup of cold water to drink. I sipped it quietly. Now that I thought about it my chest did feel tight and I was a little short on breath.
My hands flew to my stomach. Oh God, the child. Was the baby all right?
“You are still pregnant Lizzie. The doctor told me everything is fine.”
I sighed with relief. “Another reason to be thankful.”
He nodded. “Yes. I am relieved too.”
He surprised me again. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been. Mal was an amazing guy. The more I learned about him, the more I loved.
“You are happy I am still pregnant? When the child is not your own?” I asked, incredulous.
He raised my hand and brought it to his lips. “Yes, my darling. Everything about you makes me happy. I love children.”
Tears filled my eyes. More of my heart opened to Mal. I brought his hand to my chest and held it.
“You own more of my heart with every passing breath.”
Passion kindled in his eyes. He swallowed. I saw hesitation for just a moment and then his lips met mine again.
“Excuse me Mr. Thompson,” the nurse interrupted us, “I see your young wife is finally awake.”
I smiled. Mal move
d off the bed and winked, allowing the nurse to do her job. I knew Mal had to tell them we were married. How else would the three of us be able to stay in the same room together?
I fell asleep sometime later, content and happy with my family. I felt Alec’s absence keenly but I did not speak of it. Anger and resentment for Alec filled my heart. I didn’t want to ruin the sense of peace I had at the moment. I wanted it to linger, enjoying it for as long as possible.
I let myself drift off, Mal’s strong hand holding mine.
Chapter Twenty Six: Mal
Mal watched Lizzie sleep, his heart nearly bursting with happiness. He was certain he would not be able to contain his joy. All of these months he had dared to hope, dared to dream of Lizzie as his own. Finally her memory of K.D. had returned with crystal clarity. She knew how he had cared for her and protected her.
From the beginning he sought to begin a friendship with her and prove he was trustworthy. He knew she was smart enough to see through Darren and his schemes to control her. As things began to spiral out of control, he realized he may have to act and take Lizzie away. But his choice was too late. His greatest regret, his largest failure, was not leaving with Lizzie in time.
Mal had not counted on Alec. He never dreamed that there could be a man from Lizzie’s past. A man who would gain her love and commitment. A man that could steal her heart. As close as the two of them were, they never spoke much of the life they had before the war.
Sometimes Lizzie would bring up a memory of her sister or her parents but it was brief. Her eyes would cloud over and she would withdraw from him. He didn’t like to see her in pain. In an effort to help her heal, he had become somewhat of a jokester. Humor had won her over.
Mal spent countless hours with Lizzie in those beginning years. Every day he sought her out, just to make her smile. He formed a tight bond with her and their friendship grew close. Perhaps too close. There was nothing he did not see, nothing he did not like about her. It was simple for him, easy, like breathing.
Mal had never been a complicated man. He didn’t ask for much. He took from life only what he needed. Food. Shelter. Water. Even then he worked hard for it. He didn’t believe in hand outs. He believed you reaped what you sowed in life. If you worked hard, you could get what you wanted. His father was like that. Hardworking and disciplined.
Mal’s past relationships with women had been the same. No complications. No problems. He had friends with benefits. A young widow had caught him in her snare for a short time. But nothing that was serious. He saved his heart for the one he fell in love with.
Sex, however, was complicated for him. As much as he loved sharing his bed, he also understood the emotional connection and binding that brought two people intimately together. It was more than a fling or a passing moment. At least to him. It was the sharing of souls, the combining of hearts.
Mal wanted a woman’s touch. He craved it. Especially Lizzie. But he wanted more than just the joining of bodies. Call him a hopeless romantic. A dreamer. But he wanted to share his heart as much as his body. He craved the connection he shared with her, the bond of love.
He wanted children. More than anything he wanted a son to carry on his name and bloodline. It was instilled in him as a young man. His father had certain expectations. Mal was never allowed to forget that. He had a duty and an obligation. Procreate. Lead. Sire his line.
Mal had a rough childhood. His father was a strict disciplinarian. He would punish his son swiftly and without mercy. For many years it had made him a worried and anxious child. When he perished because of scarlet fever before the war it had been a blessing to his family, especially his siblings. His mother had borne the worst of it. Even now he could not condone violence against women.
He realized now with the perspective of an adult that his father had done his best. He hadn’t beat his children but the strong use of a switch still burned in his memory. Mal swore that once he was a father he would put an end to harsh punishments and strict parenting. His children would not have a difficult upbringing. They would know love and compassion, grace and mercy.
Little Benjamin was a joy to Mal. He was the sweetest child in temperament. It was a privilege and a blessing to be a part of his life. He was able to watch him grow. To care for him. To teach him right from wrong. He was able to be a father and that role was an amazing gift to Mal. It fulfilled a deep longing and desire.
Looking at Lizzie now, his eyes wandered down to her belly. She was going to have another child with Alec. So easy she had conceived. It shocked him. He wondered if she would conceive so easily if it was with him. It made him throb with desire and need, not because he wanted to force her, but because he wanted to share that most intimate part of himself with her forever.
Oh how he wished it was his own seed that had taken root. He could have kept her in his arms for days. He would make love to her until he was certain she bore his child. It did not sit well with him that Alec bedded and left her so easily.
She was vulnerable. Soft. Beautiful. Like a flower. She needed constant sun and protection from the elements. Watered. Loved. Cherished.
Thinking of Alec made him scowl. He would have to tell Lizzie about his visit when she awakened. He would have to explain Alec’s choice to leave. He would be doing damage control again.
It was left to him to console her and make her understand his choices. Tell her lies. Make her think he had no choice. But Mal didn’t like it. Not one bit. The worst of it was that he disagreed.
Nothing in this world could keep him from Lizzie. If she bore him one child and was carrying another, come hell or damnation, he would see himself at her side. It didn’t matter how noble he was. It didn’t matter if he was supposed to lead the world. Nothing was more important to him than her.
Nothing.
In the end all that mattered was Lizzie. It was the two of them, their little family that made the difference. This was where Mal knew Lizzie would falter. It was where the line would eventually be drawn. Alec and Lizzie would argue. She would need him before it was all over.
Mal knew Alec would have to choose either the war or Lizzie and he was torn. He didn’t want to see her heart so terribly broken. But he also knew that was the only way he would ever completely have her to himself. She would be devastated. She would need protection.
Mal would be there.
And he would wait.
Time was speeding to its inevitable conclusion. Sooner or later, his beloved would come to him, and he cherished the thought close to his heart. He would wait with open arms. He would always be her rock, her foundation, her stronghold.
And nothing was going to stop him from claiming her heart when it was ready.
Chapter Twenty Seven: Lizzie
Refugee. That was my new status. I was displaced. Homeless. Bombed and injured. No longer fighting or hidden I was not prepared for the freedom it allotted me.
For the first time since the war started I was neither a soldier, nor a captive, or a runaway. I didn’t have to define what I was or what I was doing. I could simply be me.
I found myself introspective. I had choices. Paths available to take, courses that could change my life in a myriad of directions. It made me smile. I was happy. Freedom was happiness.
We had instructions to travel to a new location. Not a militia base, not a refugee camp, but a place that belonged to families and friends. A safe place. A fresh start. A new beginning.
We traveled incognito, disguised as war torn refugees and as husband and wife. The safest way to protect our little group was to pretend to be a family. It wasn’t hard to do. We were a family. The three of us and Alec, whether he would admit or not.
Exactly one week after being admitted to the hospital I was discharged. My injuries had healed quickly. I was young and healthy and in excellent physical condition. My prognosis for recovery was good. I had to take it easy and rest often but I would be fine.
The baby was growing normally, my pregnancy progressing as it should
, thanks to an ultrasound confirming that everything was fine with my little baby. Benjamin was healthy too. No internal injuries. No issues.
The jeep was exactly as we had left it except for one detail. Mal had cleaned it. Washed and vacuumed it was a welcome sight. The jeep meant escape and freedom. It had saved our lives. It would be our means of transportation for some time to come. For those reasons, I began to love it.
The last few days in the hospital I had grown restless. Militia soldiers around every corner was not a sight I particularly enjoyed. Years of resentment and anger had not diminished my dislike of the militia. Even my last solitary months had not helped. Although we appeared to be completely inconspicuous to everyone there, a part of me was afraid.
Mal pulled out of the parking space and eased onto the main road heading east. Only when the hospital had faded from the rearview mirror did I finally relax. He must have thought the same because I could see his shoulders lean back and his hands loosen their grip on the wheel.
“Do we have far to go?” I asked.
“According to the map I believe it should take us about three hours to get there. Shouldn’t be too long of a car ride for you.”
“I feel fine. If I get sleepy I can always lie down,” I reassured him.
He squeezed my hand. “Please tell me if you need to stop.”
I knew what he meant. One of the joys of pregnancy were the constant trips to the ladies room. I might have been embarrassed with anyone else but with Mal it felt normal. I could be myself with him. Even the not so pleasant parts.
We made excellent time. Thanks to Mal’s ability to read maps and directions without error we found the compound easily. Slowly we pulled up to the gate. It was about ten feet high, made of wood, and painted a dark brown. The front gate was latched and closed but unlocked. As we approached it opened and closed quickly behind us.
Men with rifles and shotguns stood around observing us. I felt the tension roll off Mal in waves. He didn’t like our vulnerability. Neither did I but he told me Alec said this place was safe. He put the jeep in park and rolled the window down.
Casually he spoke to one of the men. “Hey, is Sam around?”