Blackness Takes Over & Blackness Awaits

by Karlsson, Norma Jeanne

“Why the fuck are we talkin’ about this? You worried about my dick all of a sudden?” She punches my arm, hard.

  “I’m just talkin’, jerk. A baby’s comin’ home. Shit’s gonna change.” She flops down at the table in the waiting room patting the seat next to hers. I gladly take the invitation.

  “I know. I can take the kid to the park and lure in unsuspecting women. It’ll be great!” I exclaim. I already have it planned out.

  “You’re not takin’ the baby to catch women. That is now a house rule,” she dictates.

  “You’re no fun, you know that. You gonna turn into one of those crazy obsessive moms? Disinfecting everything, calling the pediatrician every time he cries, no cussin’ in a hundred mile radius of his baby ears, makin’ home made organic food you grow yourself, weaving your own cloth diapers, makin’ him take ballet, wearing scary mom jeans and Christmas sweaters?”

  “Yup,” she pops her p. “And you’ll take him to ballet and wear tights with him.”

  “My dick looks good in tights.”

  “Why am I not surprised you know that?”

  I shrug. My dick looks good no matter what. Tights would just give onlookers a better view, duh.

  “What’re you two talkin’ about?” O’Sullivan asks as he sets down two huge trays of food.

  “My dick,” I say grabbing a plate with some kind of meat and potatoes piled high.

  “Glad I missed that,” Cal says setting down an equally ridiculous amount of food.

  “No shit,” Finn chimes in setting down a tray of drinks.

  “No comment,” Karl says carrying in a tray with chick food. I roll my eyes and get back to my food. Thomas takes a seat next to Kid and starts piling up a plate for her. It’s twice as much food as I have.

  “She has arms, Thomas. She can make herself a plate,” I scold.

  “She’s had a rough few days,” Thomas growls. Okay big guy.

  “Thanks, Thomas,” she thanks him sweetly while glaring at me. Fuck shoot me why don’t you. I didn’t know him making her a plate of food was so important.

  “Spends all her time takin’ care of people. She could use some of that in return,” Thomas says pinning me with his gaze.

  “They take care of me, Thomas. Just not makin’ me a plate of food,” Kid says protectively but sweet at the same time. He nods and turns to his own plate of food. I get it. We take care of Kid in our own ways. I’m her protector. O’Sullivan is her entertainment. Callaghan is her comforter. Thomas is apparently her food preparer. He gives what he can and that’s important to him. I get that. I stepped into his space.

  “Sorry, Thomas. No sleep makes me a cranky bitch. Thanks for takin’ care of her,” I say quietly.

  “No thanks necessary,” Thomas grumbles with a chin lift. Note to self, don’t get on Thomas’s bad side. We all eat in companionable silence. A family meal is a family meal for us no matter where we are.

  After we finish dinner and clean up our mess Kid tells us she’s going to go visit Mia and we should go home. Butch isn’t doing well at trying to come off the ventilator so they’re holding off until tomorrow. She feels comfortable leaving him for the night. Thank God because my body needs a real bed. I’m not keen on the idea of her going to see Mia even if Pedowski is dead. I know I won’t win that fight though. Thomas will keep her safe (and fed).

  Kellerman

  “Dylan, it’s time to go,” Cassie calls from my office doorway. She’s beaming. Not a healthy pregnant glow, a mischievous light like a serial killer has before they capture their prey. Shudder.

  “Yeah,” I mumble. I walk out the door and Cassie sweeps her arm around mine holding my bicep. I’ll have to disinfect that area tonight.

  “Oh Cassie you’re just glowing,” beams one of the secretaries as we pass. “You two have got to be the most radiant couple I’ve ever seen. That baby will be a bona fide heartthrob.” I use my super human strength to keep my eyes righted in my skull.

  “I can’t wait to get my hands on him,” Cassie lies through her fake teeth.

  “Just be careful of Irish twins,” the secretary warns. What the fuck is that?

  “I’m sure keeping Dylan at bay will be a task. Maybe the next one will be a girl,” Cassie gleams and wiggles. She’s talking about another baby? Please get me the fuck out of here.

  “You two have a good night,” the secretary says rubbing Cassie’s belly. I’ve never done that. I wish I could enjoy the kicks and rolls, but I refuse to enjoy my son through her. No touching.

  “Oh we will,” Cassie says in a suggestive tone. I pull my arm from her as soon as we round the corner from onlookers.

  “Ugh, I can’t imagine havin’ another baby in less than a year. That’ll be hard on me,” Cassie moans.

  “What the fuck are you talkin’ about?” I ask perturbed at the line of thought.

  “Irish twins,” she says like that should mean something to me. I raise a brow at her to explain further. “You are so clueless about some things. Irish twins is a term used when someone has two babies in less than a year.”

  “Thanks for the vocabulary lesson. And you don’t have to worry about that happenin’.”

  “We’re getting married a few weeks after this thing is outta me. It would make sense to end up knocked up again. At least if it was a girl I could enjoy it a bit. This one is useless to me until he can get a job and take care of me,” she says completely serious. Have I mentioned I hate her? I grind my teeth and don’t respond. Eight more weeks and I’ll be through with this. Breathe.

  June 4, 2014

  Shannon

  Butch has been home a week, at my home. I know, shocker. He’s alone and needed someone to look after him. I hired a nurse to come in during the days and see to him while we’re at work. The guys didn’t care. I think they were happy I wouldn’t have to run around so much in the evenings this way. So our house is full between gunshot victim and nursery.

  I cut out of the office early today. I was tired from a shit night’s sleep. I tried to sleep without any of the guys, bad idea. I was awake or semi-conscious all night. I should try a weaning process instead of cold turkey. I’m just nodding off when my BlackBerry rings. I should have turned it off. I don’t recognize the number. Maybe I should just let it roll to voicemail and I can deal with it tomorrow.

  “Shannon Kelly,” I answer swiftly.

  “Kiddo,” Kel sounds crushed. I fly out of my bed and start pulling on clothes.

  “Kel, what’s wrong?” I ask fully alert.

  “I’m gonna lose him,” he murmurs almost imperceptibly.

  “Kel, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?!” I ask pointedly.

  “I don’t know what’s happenin’. Something’s wrong with Cassie and the baby. They’re doin’ an exam now. There’s so much blood,” he whimpers. FUCK!

  “I’m on my way. I’ll be there in four hours. Kel, I love you. Everything will be okay,” I say hastily as I run frantically around my room trying to get my shit together.

  “Hurry,” he murmurs and disconnects.

  “THOMAS!” I scream at the top of my lungs. I can hear him vaulting up the stairs as I shove shit into my bag.

  “Shannon?!” Thomas bellows blowing into my room gun drawn scanning every inch. Butch comes hobbling in behind Thomas looking beyond concerned.

  “Get the jet ready. Something’s wrong with the baby,” I instruct. Thomas has the phone to his ear before I stop talking. I have had a jet on stand-by for the last month not knowing what to expect. It’s a three and a half hour flight into Boeing Field which is right down the I-5 from Swedish Medical Center. I’ll be there in four hours.

  “Shannon can I do something?” Butch asks.

  “I’m fine Butch I just need to get out of here. I’ll call when I can. Get a hold of your nurse for me and ask her to come by in the evenings,” I say in heavy breath. “Love you.” I kiss his cheek and take off down the stairs.

  “Love you too,” he yells at my back. I sprint to the front door and out to
the driveway where Thomas and Rodger are waiting for me. I slide in the back and Rodger has us moving at an illegal pace. Thomas is on the phone, but I’m not focused on him or what he’s doing. I thumb Kel’s pendant, willing the universe not to take this baby. Not after everything we’ve been through.

  After breaking the land speed record Rodger pulls onto the tarmac and I sprint toward the jet. As I’m ducking into the plane I hear the squeal of tires as Kavy’s SUV growls to a stop on the tarmac. Kavy, Sully, Cally and Finn jump out and run at me. I climb inside and buckle into my seat on the Learjet 45. I’m concerned that the pilots look to be twelve years old at best, but I can’t wait for a new crew. Tighten my seatbelt.

  There are two seats facing each other on either side of the aisle and the same arrangement repeated at the back of the plane. I take a forward facing seat and wait for the guys to get in theirs. Thomas climbs on and then Rodger. I raise an eyebrow at him.

  “You need someone to drive you guys in Seattle. None of you are in the head space for that,” Rodger answers my unanswered question.

  “Thank you,” I say as he passes me to take a seat behind me. Kavy sits facing me, Sully sits across the aisle from me and Cally sits facing him. Finn climbs in the seat against my back. Rodger sits facing Finn while giant Thomas stretches his legs out across the aisle from Rodger. The cockpit closes quickly after the cabin door and we’re moving. Please let this plane move fast. We barely taxi before we lift off. I let out a breath and relax my grip on the chair.

  “Kid, what’s goin’ on?” Cally asks sweetly.

  “I don’t know. Kel didn’t know. Said something was really wrong and there was a lot of blood. Thinks he’s gonna lose the baby,” I explain in a whisper looking at my hands.

  “Fuck,” huffs Sully.

  “I can’t do this,” I mumble. I’m breaking, hitting my limit that I didn’t know existed.

  “Yes you fuckin’ can,” scolds Kavy. “You will not stop fightin’. You don’t know how. Use this flight to rest and get your shit together. Your son needs you!” Okay so much for breaking down. I nod and close my eyes. They pop back open quickly.

  “We don’t have anything from Nicky to get the baby from her—” Kavy cuts me off.

  “Called Cooper on the way to the airport,” Kavy informs me.

  “Yeah saw my life flash before my eyes while he tried to dial,” Sully huffs.

  “Quit bitchin’ O’Sullivan. You’re fine,” Kavy chides Sully.

  “Cooper sent all your work and his operative’s intel. Special Agent in Charge of the Seattle Division of the DEA is securing a warrant as we fly. They’ve got enough to search the shipping company and Yates plus hold Cassie and her father. Don’t worry,” Kavy instructs softly.

  “And while Kav was tryin’ to kill us, I called Ma. She’s gettin’ everyone on a plane,” Sully tells me giving Kavy the stink eye.

  “Thanks guys. I wasn’t really thinkin’ on the way out. Just wanted on this plane,” I say guiltily.

  “That’s what you shoulda been thinkin’. We got you,” Cally says brightly showing me some dimple. Sweet Cally. The cockpit door opens and one of the twelve-year-olds comes out. His name tag identifies him as Tanner (fuck me even has the name of a twelve-year-old).

  “You guys sure know how to make a quick exit from Kansas City,” Tanner says in a manlier voice than I expected. I want to check under his arms for evidence of puberty.

  “We’re in a rush again,” Kavy explains.

  “Again?” I ask.

  “He was our pilot to Chicago,” Sully explains. Yeah this guy will definitely think we’re a little strange.

  “This group looks better than the last,” Tanner says laying down trays of cheese and crackers flicking his gaze to me.

  “We always look better when she’s in tow,” Cally says kindly smiling a full dimple smile at me with twinkling fairytale bright blue eyes. I’m sure the last trip was a nightmare. I feel sorry for Tanner.

  “Can’t disagree with that,” Tanner says nicely, not perversely. I give him a giant panty dropping smile and he blushes. Oh to be young again. “Wheels should be down in three hours. I’ll be back in a bit to check on you.” He shuts himself back in the cockpit quickly.

  “Kid he has to fly the plane. Don’t do that,” Kavy admonishes.

  “I smiled, Kavy. I didn’t flash him.” I roll my eyes.

  “That smile is trouble for men and you know it. He’s a teenager. You could give him a heart attack!”

  “Shannon, don’t smile at the pilot,” Thomas grumbles from behind me. I turn around to glare at him but his eyes are closed. “Not a fan of flyin’.”

  “Thomas you didn’t have to come. I didn’t know,” I apologize.

  “I’m fine. Don’t smile at the toddler flyin’ this tin can,” he orders.

  “Okay.” No more smiling at the pilot.

  We land in Seattle safely and early. The seven of us tear out of the terminal to find a rented SUV waiting for us. A pleasant man hands Rodger the keys and we’re off, racing up the I-5. Rodger seems to know where he’s going so I don’t try to instruct. I call Kel again and again but it’s rolling straight to his voicemail. His phone is off. In ten minutes flat and several broken laws we’re sprinting into Swedish Medical Center climbing flight after flight of stairs to the birthing unit. Winded, I heave myself onto the reception desk.

  “Cassandra Yates,” I gasp. The woman in front of me types something into her computer and I see it. Her face clouds with despair. No, please no!

  “Someone will be right with you, if you’ll have a seat,” she says professionally as she stands and moves away from the desk. I collapse hard against the floor, shaking and gasping for air. I feel like I’m drowning. Kavy’s arms sweep underneath me and he carries me to a seat, keeping me in his lap.

  “Kid, take a deep breath,” he soothes in my ear. I desperately try to slow my breathing and my pulse. Kavy strokes my back and breathes in and out slowly, motivating my own. Once I have a hold of myself I look up into his face. He smiles my smile at me, just for me. “Good girl.”

  “Excuse me,” a warm voice penetrates through the air. “Are you here for Miss Yates?” I unfold from Kavy’s lap to face a very young looking man in scrubs. What is this bring your kid to work day?

  “Yes,” I answer surprisingly evenly.

  “Are you family?” he asks unbelievingly scanning our odd group.

  “She’s our cousin,” I lie easily. The doctor looks to Rodger first.

  “She’s my niece,” Rodger lies just as easily as I did. The doctor’s gaze swings to Thomas.

  “I’m adopted,” he lies. Cally smothers a laugh. The doctor’s eyes bug out at the idea he may have just offended the adopted black cousin.

  “If you could follow me please,” the doctor says leading the way through some locked doors and again into a small office/conference looking room. We all settle into chairs waiting for what is surely going to be devastating news. I brace.

  “I’m Doctor Calvert. I was the attending on staff when Miss Yates was brought in. She and the baby were in distress that indicated a plausible placental abruption upon admittance. Unable to stabilize Miss Yates I preformed an emergency cesarean section. I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but Miss Yates did not survive,” Dr. Calvert says very clinically. She’s dead. Cassie’s dead. Fuck…she’s dead. Breathe Shannon.

  C-section means they tried to save the baby.

  “The baby?” I whisper, thumbing Kel’s pendant staring at the cherry table in front of me.

  “He’s stable with his father in the NICU.”

  “What?” I screech snapping my gaze to him.

  “The baby was delivered successfully. He’s premature but breathing on his own and stable,” Dr. Calvert explains further.

  “He’s okay?” I ask Kavy for reassurance that I’m not imagining this.

  “He’s okay.” Kavy beams my smile at me a thousand times brighter than I’ve ever seen. I jump up and move toward D
r. Calvert quickly causing him to jump back.

  “Can we see him?” I ask impatiently.

  “Only two visitors at a time. His father is with him now,” Dr. Calvert says shakily worried this room of brutes is going to bludgeon him.

  “Take her,” the room orders briskly.

  “Right this way.” Dr. Calvert practically runs from the room. I follow closely behind pinching my arm to make sure I’m awake. Yeah, I’m awake and bruising myself. He takes me through a few sets of doors that I don’t pay much attention to until I raise my gaze and meet the most perfect set of teal eyes ever created. Kellerman.

  Shannon

  I heave myself into Kel’s arms wrapping my legs around his waist like a vice grip. I bury my face in his neck and suck in cleansing lungfuls of his scent. His arms are holding me so tight I can hardly pull the deep breaths I desire. I start peppering his neck, jaw, cheeks, nose, eyes and forehead with kisses soaking him in. Holding his face with my hands, I lose myself in teal pools of adoration before pressing my mouth to his. It’s a sweet loving soft kiss against his full pillowy lips. This is better than any kiss I’ve ever had with Kel, hands down. He slowly works his lips against mine never a tongue in play, just emotion pouring from each of us. Kel pulls away and buries his face in my throat.

  “You wanna meet your son?” he asks quietly. I jump out of his arms as quickly as I’d jumped in. Kel grabs my hand and leads me over to an incubator where I get my first glimpse of perfection in this life. He. Is. Perfect. His tiny body is curled up into a ball as he lies peacefully on his stomach. His skin is pink and wrinkly only covered by the world’s smallest diaper. The finest fuzz of golden hair tops his head. There’s an IV in his hand and wires attached to sticky patches coming from his body. Tiny doesn’t describe how small he is. My heart drops realizing how early he is.

  “Is he okay?” I ask quietly.

  “He’s great. Doctor says she can’t believe how well he’s doin’. Breathin’ on his own, no bradycardia, everything looks good,” Kel explains.

  “He’s so little,” I say pointing out the obvious.