by Ashley Cruse
Last weekend, when my sister visited, we had taken the kids to see the Ripley’s Believe It or Not! Museum. We had gone to Jack in the Box to eat afterward, and Naomi and Nestle had met up with us. Justine wasn’t too fond of Corey’s sister. She was cordial, though, out of respect for me.
“You got a letter from my brother today.” Naomi placed the letter in my hands and excused herself to go the bathroom. She took Karen and Marie with her.
Justine wrinkled her nose at me.
“Don’t start, sis,” I warned her.
“She just overdoes the shit. Does she need to announce out loud in front of everybody that you got a letter from her brother?” My sister scowled. I just brushed it off and tucked the letter safely in my purse. I needed to study it in peace, without any extra voices around me.
I was pretty sure my husband was pissed off. He hadn’t gotten a visit in two weeks. I vowed to read the letter the first chance I got when I arrived home. When everybody was sleeping and the house was not stirring.
“I just see all the shit you are going through, and I wonder if this is worth it. Who is to say that Corey is going to change when he gets out? I just don’t see why you can’t see what his sorry ass is doing.”
“We’re married. I can’t turn my back on him now.”
“He turned his back on you. And that bitch Jolleen is still wandering around Abilene, talking about how she is his girl and shit, with her ugly ass.”
I cringed at the sound of that ho’s name. I had to admit, that part stung my heart like a bitch. Why should I give up on our family? All because a no-morals-having bitch wanted to ruin my happy home?
“He still writes her too,” Justine said matter-of-factly.
“How do you know?” I said, interrogating her.
“Bruce told me. We didn’t say nothing, because we knew you aspired to stay with him. However, it’s not you. It’s him. I just don’t want him to damage you, that’s all.”
“He won’t, sister.”
“He better not,” she stated with a threatening tone.
Even though nobody knew it, his ass already had hurt me to the core. I was just trying to deal with it by myself, so nobody knew how I really and truly felt. I was feeling trapped. I felt like I had married somebody phony, but he had chosen me to be his wife. He didn’t want this marriage to end. His letters said it a million times. How much he loved me like a fat kid loved cake. That he loved me more than every letter and every word in the entire universe could express.
I was going to ride it out with him. Crazy-ass thing for me to say, since I could honestly admit, I knew how Dollie felt. However, I wasn’t going to admit that shit out loud or nothing. I wasn’t going to go woman up and apologize to Dollie. I felt like what I had endured was payback enough. I hadn’t understood then why she was so upset when she found out about us, but I truly understood it now.
Damn. Now, ain’t that a bitch?