by Harloe Rae
Watch Me Follow
Copyright © 2018 by Harloe Rae
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner and the publisher listed above, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or purely coincidental.
Cover Design:
Talia’s Book Covers
Editing:
Ace Gray
Interior Design & Formatting:
Christine Borgford, Type A Formatting
Contents
WATCH ME FOLLOW
PLAYLIST
DEDICATION
ABOUT WATCH ME FOLLOW
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Epilogue
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ALSO BY HARLOE
Enjoy an Excerpt of Redefining Us
Enjoy an Excerpt of Forget You Not
Wild Horses by The Rolling Stones
H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line
Creepin’ by Eric Church
Greatest Love Story by DJ Kyotee
Every Little Thing by Carly Pearce
Blame It on Me by George Ezra
Fix You by Coldplay
The Night We Met by Lord Huron
Too Much to Ask by Niall Horan
Dream Big by Ryan Shupe & The Rubberband
In the Name of Love by Martin Garrix
Your Song by Rita Ora
Rise Up by Andra Day
You Are My Sunshine by Jasmine Thompson
Watch Me Follow is dedicated to Cindy and Melissa.
Thank for you for being the sunshine I needed during the cloudy days.
Creep. Freak. Crazy Eyes.
I've heard it all.
Over the years, they've slammed me with every demeaning name in the book.
Their taunts warped me like a steady stream of poison.
Anger replaced anxiety as I started believing the cruelty spat my way.
Until she showed up and changed everything.
Lennon Bennett is pure innocence—warm sunshine breaking apart my stormy existence.
She's everything good and maybe I can be too.
For her. With her. Because of her.
Lennon doesn’t know I’m beckoned closer with each breath.
She isn't aware that I'm completely consumed with her.
It’s become my sole purpose to protect her, by any means necessary.
But if she discovers the depth of my obsession, it will be the end of me.
So, I remain in the shadows.
Waiting. Watching. Wanting.
She'll be my first. My last. My only.
Ryker
For the first time in my life, I don't feel alone. This blinding ray of sunshine has suddenly appeared in the form of a beautiful girl.
SHE’S SMILING AT me.
Lennon Bennett is the most beautiful creature to ever grace this fucked up planet and she’s currently turned around in her seat, grinning at me.
That’s never happened before so I’m not sure how to react. I fight the initial urge to shield my face with the thick curtain of hair tucked behind my ear because I want her to see me. Shock streaks through me like lightning as her unwavering stare stays fixed on me—the boy everyone always looks away from. I’m not prepared to handle this sort of blatant attention, especially from her. My heart threatens to burst as I’m consumed by her gaze but my face remains blank, like usual.
“Hi,” Lennon barely whispers. “Can I, um, borrow a pencil?”
Her sugary voice is soft but clear, sinking deep into my bones. Sweat dots my brow as I blindly reach into my backpack, refusing to break eye contact. My clumsy fingers fumble a few times before getting a grip on one and hold it out to her.
“Oh, uh . . . thanks,” she mumbles as red colors her cheeks.
Why is she blushing?
Confusion clogs any attempt at processing this interaction while I scan her flushed face. My head jerks in acknowledgement but my lips remain frozen in a flat line.
Lennon clears her throat before asking, “Can I have a piece of paper too?”
I carelessly tear a sheet from my notebook and offer it without hesitation. Her shoulders shake with a soundless giggle as she thanks me and takes the paper from my trembling grasp. Lennon doesn’t look away and I wonder what she sees as she keeps staring at me. After a moment of shared silence, she sighs heavily and the smile slips from her lips.
Before I can consider Lennon’s reaction further or try forcing a response, she twists back around and effectively breaks our connection.
I fucking blew it.
She talked to me and I said nothing, which is exactly what I am—fucking nothing. Why do I even bother? Maybe because the small slice of hope surviving in my starved heart believes she could be different.
Ever since Lennon started school here a few weeks ago, my thoughts have rarely strayed from her. Each glorious piece of her fuels my fantasies and drags me deeper into obsession. I’m totally infatuated with her, but what the hell am I supposed to do about it?
Keep staring like a creep.
Lennon’s skin glows with a bronze tan even though it’s still spring in Michigan. I'm not sure where she moved from but it must have been warm. She’s very short, tiny really, which makes protective instincts I didn’t know existed rattle inside me. Even though I never touch anyone, my arms ache with the urge to wrap around her skinny waist and pull her close. Lennon’s glossy dark hair appears to be made of the softest silk. The long waves shimmer whenever she shifts her head and constantly lures me into a trance. Her sparkling aqua eyes remind me of a tropical sea. Today is the first time her smile has been cast my way and the beaming sight is by far my favorite. Possessiveness has been slowly spreading through me but I’ll never be able to let her go now that she’s acknowledged me. The realization hits hard and knocks any remaining sense loose.
Not that I had much to begin with—at least according to everyone else.
I slouch deeper into my desk as the dark memories wash over me. Every nasty name in the book has been spat my way, but I stopped listening years ago. The verbal assaults all sound the same eventually, whether coming from my worthless parents or the jerkoffs currently surrounding me. The constant onslaught makes keeping to myself even easier. I’m not interested in spending time with people, mostly because they cause anxiety to perpetually pound inside me. The nerves created insecurities and embarrassing misunderstandings when I was little so it became natural to distance myself.
Soon enough, everyone thought I was some sort of freak.
I never bothered correcting them because
they’re right.
I’m a fucking loser weirdo.
What started as awkwardness morphed into fury, but only toward myself for being this way. It’s all my fault.
At least now everyone at school pretends I don’t exist, but their taunts behind my back carry across the echoing classroom. The snickering ridicule and cruel names bounce directly to me but all I do is hunch down further.
I don’t blame them for keeping quiet to my face. Considering I’m built like a professional linebacker and barely eighteen, I’d turn the other way too. I work out almost constantly to manage my anxiety and ensure the threatening madness doesn’t take over. Probably doesn’t help that I never talk to anyone or even look their way.
But why the hell would I?
Everyone I cross paths with has only offers sneers.
Except her . . .
If no one else was around, I’d talk to Lennon. She can have all my words and focus. I’ll give her anything she asks for without a moment of hesitation.
She quickly peers over her shoulder and smiles at me again.
What does this mean? Does she like me? Or is she secretly mocking me like everyone else?
Not sure I could handle the latter.
I’m used to being alone and planned to continue this way until a certain girl plowed into my life. The moment Lennon strolled into homeroom and sat in front of me, the whirlwind in my mind settled and she was all I could see. I don’t understand my powerful reaction to her. Maybe I never will. What I do know is Lennon has given me a sliver of peace and reprieve from my shitty reality. Even if she doesn’t know it.
The dismissal bell rings and everyone begins shuffling out of the classroom. I stay in my seat, unable to comprehend the attention Lennon gave me. Even when she gets up and leaves, I’m paralyzed by the rare joy rushing through me. It evaporates without her presence and the familiar dread slams down on my shoulders. My stinging eyes clench shut as I count the hours until our next class together. Only two today—I can survive that long.
After scooping up my stuff, I begin the lengthy trek to next period. This damn school is so big they give us ten minutes of passing time but it’s still not enough. Luckily kids get out of my way, making room in the squished halls for me to pass. My long hair acts like an extra shield while I keep my gaze averted but their whispers hit my ears.
Hulk.
Weirdo.
Loser.
Stupid.
Crazy Eyes.
The last one has stuck through the years, but I don’t know why. Apparently, my idiotic peers have an issue with my blue stare never settling on anyone for long. I’ve been told the color is strange—very light blue blending into a darker edge—but the shade doesn’t seem odd to me.
Fuck them for judging me.
But I always get them back.
I gladly return the favor by hacking their social media accounts. It’s easy to make a mockery of them with a few clicks of the mouse. They screw with me and I fuck them back harder. All from the comfort of my own home. Everyone thinks I’m dumb but soon they’ll realize how wrong that assumption is.
I keep walking without another thought, ready to get away from all these bodies. I’m uneasy and restless as fuck but thankfully get separated from the masses when I head downstairs.
As I’m passing the cafeteria on the way to gym, I hear a faint cry coming from a darkened alcove on my left. My stride falters momentarily as I wonder what’s going on but it’d take a lot for me to get involved. I plan to keep going until her voice rings out.
“Please let me go. Please!” Lennon’s whimper echoes across the small space and slams into me. I easily recognize her delicate lilt and immediately cross the short distance separating us.
Jason Hicks, a well-known asshole around campus, has Lennon shoved up against a door in the shadowed corner. At first, it’s difficult to see what’s happening but as I approach it’s clear he’s lewdly thrusting his hips into her. Lennon keeps begging him to stop but he cuts her off with a snarl.
“Shut the fuck up and stop struggling. You’re a damn tease, Lennon. It’s time you pay up for tempting me and I expect you to meet me after school this time. Otherwise we’ll just ditch class together now. Your choice, babe.” His disgusting words ricochet around the secluded area.
I’m right behind them but only Lennon notices me. Her usually tan complexion is ghostly white as tears stream down her cheeks. Her blue eyes widen and plead with me to do something, anything, to stop him.
Any awkward discomfort disappears as anger seeps into my veins. My words rumble from deep in my chest, “Leave her alone.”
Jason’s head tilts to the side and he glances over his shoulder. He snorts loudly while glaring at me. “This doesn't involve you, Crazy Eyes. Get out of here and go back to being a silent weirdo, like you're good at.” His disgusting mouth twists into a sneer.
The familiar nickname grates on my already fraying control and my body trembles with the desire to wipe the arrogance off his face but I hesitate to use my strength against someone. I’m standing motionless, waiting for Jason to go away on his own, when Lennon breaks the silence.
“Please.” Her angelic gaze bores into me. “Help me.” Her tone is meek but to me it sounds like a scream. She needs me and I’d never deny her anything.
My hand automatically reaches out to grip Jason’s neck with bruising force, my fingers digging deep into his flesh. In the next breath I yank him back before shoving him to the side. He bounces off the wall before stumbling into the empty hall.
“I told you to leave her alone,” I growl at him.
Jason’s jaw grinds as his stare ricochets between Lennon and me. “Fuck off, Ryker. She’s my girl and none of your business.”
“I want nothing to do with you. I’m not your anything,” she quietly mutters behind me.
“You’re going to get it, Lennon. Just wait.” Jason barks but his lips clamp shut when I take a few steps toward him.
My chest tightens as I imagine what his threats could mean. Flames lap at my skin as I allow the fury to take over. “If you ever bother her again, you’ll be dealing with me. Got it?” My throat burns as I force the words out.
The untamed anger must show on my face because he doesn't respond again. With a final scowl at me, Jason trudges away and out of sight. I’ve never unleashed the aggression that's constantly festering within me on someone else but he’d fucking deserve a real beating. I attempt to cage the roiling hate bunching in my muscles with a few deep breaths. I’ll have to push myself even harder at the gym tonight but it’s worth it. Anything involving her is.
As the red hue fades from my vision, tingling awareness settles in and the telltale nerves start flooding my system. We’re all alone. Lennon is behind me and I’m just standing here.
I slowly turn around and find her cowering in the corner, her guarded gaze searing my soul. Her shoulders shake as she sniffles and horrible possibility strikes me.
Fuck, did I scare her?
That’s the last thing I want so my feet shuffle back to put some space between us. The horrible taunts begin echoing in my mind, even though it’s completely silent around us.
Idiot.
Creep.
Loser.
Monster.
Freak.
Crazy Eyes.
Crazy. Crazy. Crazy.
My head twitches as I lower my stare away from her frightened features. “I’m sorry, Lennon. I didn’t mean to upset you. He made me really mad though.” A heavy sigh shudders from my chest. “I don’t usually act like that.” My voice is gruff from disuse but I get the point across.
I take another step back but her words halt my progress.
“Please, don’t leave. You’re not the one who scared me. You saved me, Ryker.”
My eyes lift to her as I ask, “You know my name?” My heart starts pounding and I’m sure she can hear the rapid beat.
Lennon nods and smiles slightly. “Of course. I sit in front of you in three c
lasses. Plus, you’re pretty hard to miss.”
Shame heats my cheeks as her words sink in. She’s making fun of me, just like everyone else. I was stupid to believe she could see me differently, no matter how much I wish she would. Lennon is perfection and I’m a bumbling ogre so it shouldn’t surprise me. The hurt splashes me like acid and my entire body burns as I move further away.
“Where are you going?” She suddenly blurts while stepping toward me.
I shrug and glance at her, drawn to her. I can’t find the words to explain my feelings though.
She inches closer. “Did I say something to upset you?” Her hand reaches for me and I flinch, afraid of what her touch will do to me.
“I’m used to it. Everyone calls me names.” I manage to choke out, even though my mouth is desert-dry.
Lennon’s face scrunches up in an adorable way as she asks, “What? I don’t get it.”
“You said I’m hard to miss, as in my size. I get it. Very funny.” Embarrassment slithers up my neck and causes me to turn away further. “I’ll see you around, Lennon.” My tone is flat and lifeless.
My plan to escape disappears when her palm settles on my back and everything inside of me freezes.
“Will you wait a second?” Her whisper reaches deep into my chest and squeezes. “I didn’t mean it like that, Ryker. Really. You’re hard to miss because, umm, well . . . I think you’re cute.” She giggles and my knees almost buckle. That tinkling laugh mixed with her touch turn me into a sloppy puddle of mush. It’s like my brain is short-circuiting and all functioning is jammed so I remain completely still.
When I don’t respond, Lennon takes her hand away and the loss cramps my stomach. I’m floundering, unsure of what the hell to do now. My anxiety threatens to consume me the longer we’re silent and I’d rather not have a panic attack in front of her. Thankfully she saves me from deciding.
“Can you turn around? Just for a minute?” I do as she asks, as though I’m locked under her spell.
Lennon stares at me with a look I can’t quite comprehend. A dimple dents her cheek as she grins at me. “I really appreciate you helping me with Jason. He’s such a jerk and has been harassing me since my first day. Maybe he’ll leave me alone now.” She exhales loudly and bites her bottom lip. “What can I ever do to repay you? I seriously owe you one.”