by Harloe Rae
His arms band tighter around my middle.
“Too bad I don’t have a ring because this would be perfect timing,” Ryker whispers into my neck. My breath falters as my heartbeat takes off at a full gallop. He pulls back while scanning my watery eyes. “Too soon? I know we’ve only been dating a very short while. I’m sure people would think we’re rushing it but—”
“What they think or say doesn’t matter,” I blurt, picturing him down on one knee. The idea stirs up a hoard of the giddiest butterflies in my belly. “If we’re happy and know it’s right, that’s what counts. We do what’s right for us, always.” I’m smiling so wide my cheeks hurt but when Ryker mirrors the expression, my mouth somehow stretches further.
“So, you’d say yes?” His pitch rises as if he can’t believe my response.
I nod quickly before jumping up, my legs automatically finding a home around his waist. In the next moment Ryker’s palms cradle my ass, as if that movement is instinctual too. “Wanna take the plunge with me?” I question against his jaw.
“Of course, but I don’t have—”
My head gestures to the drop off in front of us. “Let’s jump together. Seems fitting, right?”
Understanding dawns across his features and Ryker grins.
“Very,” he murmurs along my lips and sets me down.
I kick off my sandals and shimmy out of my shorts before whipping off my tank. Ryker steps out of his shoes and his eyes widen while he scans my bikini-clad figure.
With a little swivel of my hips, I ask, “Do you like it?”
“You’re too fucking hot,” he groans. “Good thing we’re about to cool off.”
When Ryker ditches his shirt, my mouth goes dry at his muscular chest. I gulp loudly before fanning my face.
He reaches forward and laces our fingers together. His lips latch onto mine as he drags me closer. I let his mouth distract me and don’t realize we’re about to go over until the last second. My eyes dart down into the sparkling water and my feet shuffle nervously.
“Wait a minute. We’re really high up. What if it’s not deep enough? I might have miscalculated this part of the adventure,” I reason weakly.
“Too late, you already suggested it.” He chuckles before clutching my hand tighter. “This spot is meant for diving. Hold on, Sunshine. Ready?” Ryker asks while tugging me closer to the edge.
My muscles ache with tension as I stare into his blue depths, syphoning courage from him. In the next beat, my eyes squeeze shut as my nails dig into his skin. Everything within me clenches as I blindly nod. Then we’re falling, soaring together, before crashing into the cold water. My system is shocked momentarily from the drop but quickly kickstarts triple time. We’re completely submerged but Ryker’s grip never falters as he kicks to the surface. I gasp after breaking through, sucking in air hungrily before blinking to clear my vision. When my gaze locks with his, we both start laughing.
“That was really fun,” I pant while moving into him.
Ryker draws me closer with one arm before paddling us toward a shallow alcove.
“Your heart is pounding,” he says while propping me against the cool stone wall but the chill doesn’t faze me.
My concentration is securely fastened elsewhere.
I have a personal peepshow to his fantastic upper body, my sight overwhelmed by washboard abs and concrete pecs. It's like a switch is flipped and suddenly hot desire pumps through me. Ryker’s ropey veins trail down his forearms and my fingers trace the curving tracks. My ankles cross against his ass before cinching the hold, which securely wedges him between my thighs. I’m deliciously pinned between his solid hardness and the unforgiving rock behind me.
“I’m excited,” I purr while arching against him.
Ryker licks up my neck before asking, “For which part, Sunshine?”
Before surrendering to his worship, I manage to respond with a breathy murmur.
“Our entire future.”
Ryker
I’ve been basking in the sunshine and forgot to watch for torrential downpours.
ALL TOO SOON our time at the lake has come to an end and it’s time to head back.
We’re going home.
I never had much reason to use that term before the brilliant ray of light currently sitting next to me in the truck strolled into my dark existence. Until we move to Denten in a few weeks, Lennon wants to spend our nights in the sunshine room. It’ll be sad to leave that special spot but the sheer excitement of having our own space outweighs any melancholy. The studio loft in that sleepy little town is somewhere we’ll share as a new chapter in our journey begins. Filling all the pages of our love story will be the greatest honor of my life.
We already have a great head start.
Lennon stares out the window, watching the campsite disappear into the distance.
“That was a magical trip,” she sighs wistfully before facing me. “We’ll have to visit again.”
“All that alone time with you? Sign me up every day.” I kiss her palm.
“Cuddling in that tiny tent,” she replies softly.
“Watching the stars.”
“Roasting marshmallows by the fire.”
“Hiding out under the waterfall.”
“Lounging on the raft.”
“You in a string bikini with no one else around.”
She chuckles before adding, “The jump was my favorite.”
“And what happened right after.” A groan rumbles from my chest.
“You’re so bad.” She swats my shoulder before I capture her hand again.
“Well, you’re irresistible.” My lips dust across her silky skin, sucking lighting on her wrist for a sweet taste.
Our playful banter continues the entire ride until we’re pulling into the apartment parking lot. My head rests against the seat as I twist toward her.
“Where to next, Sunshine?”
Lennon bites her lip.
“A hot shower would be great. Maybe some packing. But for our firsts, did you see the billboard advertising that festival in Belleson next weekend? Where there’s something fun for everyone?” She raises a brow in question. “I’ve never been to a carnival. Think of all the possibilities. The Ferris Wheel, cotton candy, fried food, tractor pull, those huge stuffed animals that aren’t practical by any means,” she rattles off the choices while I soak up her desire to spend time with me.
“Endless options,” I say with a wink as a plan solidifies in my mind.
She blows me a kiss before hopping out. Warmth spreads through my chest before racing down my limbs. For once in my life, everything is perfect.
As I join her unloading the car, someone calls out.
“Lennon?”
She spins around and her eyes expand to saucer-size.
“Mom?” The question wobbles from her mouth. “Dad?” she sputters as her father steps out of the car. “What are you guys doing here?” Her fingers tremble in my grasp and I’m on instant alert as dread snakes up my torso.
“We came to convince you that moving further away is a mistake. It’s clear just showing up was the right choice,” her dad announces while glaring at me. “You,” he points at me with a steady finger. “Get your filthy hands off my daughter this instant. I’m not sure what the hell’s been going on but it’s over now.”
Lennon swallows loudly, the gulp dropping into my gut like a ton of lead.
“This i-is Ry-Ryker. H-he’s my boyfr-friend,” she stammers quietly. She stiffens her posture before adding, “I love him and he loves me.”
“That’s ludicrous,” he snorts before crossing his arms in front of him, his weathered features stern and hard. “There’s no way you expect me to believe you care for this man.”
Her expression crumples from his tone and my fury barrels forward. Lennon tucks her chin before glancing at me.
“We’re moving in together. Ryker is going to live with me.” A small grin lifts the corner of her lips. She’s so brave, my beautiful girl.
Even in front of their misplaced ridicule, she shimmers bright.
“The hell you are,” her father bellows but the gruff sound holds no weight. “What on God’s green Earth makes you think we’ll allow that?”
Lennon’s eyes ignite into aqua flames as she pins him in her stare.
“You don’t have to agree. I’m very much a consenting adult who’s capable of making her own choices. Ryker and I are happy, and that’s all that matters.”
My chest swells with pride as her bold words sink into my pores, but her parents aren’t packing up yet.
Her mother’s audible gasp snags my concentration.
“Oh, my stars. This is getting out of hand! Lennon Elizabeth, you’ve been spending time with this . . . this beast of a man? He could hurt you!” she squawks and the shriek pierces my eardrums but I don’t flinch. “He’s the size of two men. What the hell is wrong with you? Can you not see the menace in his crazy looking eyes?” Her palms wave wildly toward me as she keeps spewing hate. “I knew you should have come home. There’s no one here to keep you safe. Not even that worthless friend of yours. She’s probably behind all this—”
“I keep her safe,” I growl under my breath, full of fight and thunder. My interruption won’t help their opinion of me but hopefully it’ll tell them I’m fucking serious. And pissed the hell off.
“What did you say to my wife? How dare you talk to her that way,” her father spits back at me. “Maybe we should call the police. I’m concerned you’ve brainwashed her into believing your bullshit.”
Their harsh judgements bounce right off me, there’s nothing they can say that will wound me. I’ve heard far worse and have no reason to listen. Lennon’s mine and always will be. She told me we’re forever and that’s all I need. The lies they’re weaving don’t bother me and the verbal lashings cause no damage. My only concern is Lennon and keeping her safe.
I take a defiant step forward, covering her from their hateful stares as my shoulders set with steel.
“Go ahead. They’ll appreciate knowing that you’ve come to where we live and are tossing out outlandish accusations. You’re a bitter—”
“Ryker, please stop!” Lennon’s sharp scold cuts me off. Her harsh tone is a slap across my face I wasn’t expecting so her yanking grip around my flexed bicep goes unnoticed.
Ice dumps in my veins as she pulls me aside. I freeze next to her. My heart drops to the concrete through my feet, shattering into a million broken pieces around us. I can’t run away or think of what to say, all that pounds into me is her resounding rejection. Lennon’s lips are moving as she talks to me but all I hear is the whooshing of the past dragging me down.
My thoughts tunnel like they did that night in her apartment after I confessed to paying half the studio rent, but so much worse. What’s happening now is my greatest fear warping into reality. My entire purpose and meaning has been keeping her safe from situations exactly like this but Lennon just shoved me away. She doesn’t want my help. Or anything to do with me. Any hope or wish or pipedream shrivels up inside my stomach before burning away into fiery acid.
This feels like the end . . . of everything.
The only person I love is done with me and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it except meltdown like the beast her parents believe me to be. Flames blast through my bones as I scan the area for an escape. I need to get the fuck out of here before my broken brain takes over and shit gets really psycho.
My only trigger left is pushed when Lennon turns away. Every painful memory comes flooding back. The volume on the degrading voices cranks up so all I hear is their venom.
Hulk.
Weirdo.
Loser.
Stupid.
Crazy Eyes.
It’s like a low budget horror film flickering in front of me with each word as the hate blasts louder. The years of abuse and neglect from my parents. People shoving me away for being different. The constant bullying and harassment. The taunts and names that punctured my fragile soul. Being isolated and alone without hope of finding a way out. Everything Lennon has repaired shatters as a bolt slams into me. I’ve been stupid to believe she could actually care about me. This was all temporary and my logical brain screams at my gullible heart. I knew Lennon would get sick of me and now she has. I’ve been too pushy and clingy and needy and crazy.
Crazy. Crazy. Crazy.
I spiral further down with each passing moment but there’s no more shits to give. All the light has been snuffed out of my spirit with a few direct hits.
Lennon keeps looking at me as her once tempting mouth forms words I can’t make out. She reaches for my face but I dodge away from her touch, suddenly frightened of the impact her satin palm will have on me.
“Ry?” The nickname breaks through the fog but the dense clouds are too thick to see her sunshine.
“I understand.” The barely-there rasp grates from my throat as I stare past her. “You don’t need to explain it to me. You’ve made the choice. I’ll go.”
“What’s happening, Ryker? I’m really sorry for being snappy. Did you hear me? They always test my patience but that’s no excuse for my actions.” Her teal eyes mist when I evade her fingers again. “Please, stop.” Lennon’s voice is weak but the use of the exact same words from before might as well be a roar. Everything else she says is drowned out.
My head jerks as I shift further away, mentally and physically.
“You’ll always be my sunshine but this wasn’t meant to last.”
Tears stream down her rosy cheeks.
“Ryker, don’t say things like that,” she begs but the key to my wounded soul has been crushed to dust.
The need for my hood and the shield it offers from prying eyes consumes me. When I reach for the comforting cloak, all that’s wrapped around my neck is empty air.
I never thought the one to leave would be me but it’s clear that’s what Lennon wants. All I truly want is to make her happy and I hold onto that thought as I sink into the shadows and her form blurs before me.
Lennon
I’ll believe for both of us.
“RYKER!” I CALL out but he keeps moving further away.
His retreat doesn’t pause and sorrow hijacks my thoughts. Why the hell did I reprimand him for defending me? What the hell is wrong with me? Shame scorches my scalp as tears trickle from my lashes. A twitch attacks my hands, desperate to hold him, but he’s refusing my touch. I lashed out for the first time in my life and it was directed toward the very last person who will never deserve it.
What effing twilight zone did I get dropped into?
The hollow glaze masking Ryker’s ocean eyes is really freaking me out. The desolate indifference reminds me of how he looks at everyone else, but never me. At least until this moment. He’s withdrawing from me and the loss pangs inside me.
“Ryker, please!” I try again, regardless of the hopeless feeling slithering up my spine.
Even in the summer heat, my teeth chatter from a gust of frosty wind that seems to swirl around my chilled form.
My sandals slap the pavement as I begin following him.
“Be serious, Lennon!” My mother’s shrill cry stops me in my tracks. “We knew you’d find a boyfriend eventually but not like that behemoth. There’s no way you actually expect us to approve of him.”
I spin on my heel and stomp toward them. Anger like I’ve never experienced before streaks up my legs and races into my hollow gut, successfully burying me deeper in frigid numbness. The fury festers and spreads as my eyes narrow on their stern faces. Sharp and jagged icicles rise around me, hardening my backbone for what needs to happen. I’ve never stood up to my parents, all the unleashed hurt they’ve caused has been silently stewing inside. For years I’ve let them rule me but treating Ryker poorly is the last straw.
“You both need to leave. Now,” I demand as my arm sweeps to the open road. Their stern features melt into expressions of concern but I’m too far gone. “How can you say such horrible things
without even knowing him? Why? Your shallow accusations are disgusting,” my voice is a rolling rumble.
Everything they’ve said is awful, but I’m the one to blame for turning this into an epic disaster. My throat burns with bile.
I need to fix this.
“Sweetie, listen to us. We know what’s best, and that man is not it.” My mother attempts to use a soothing tone but it falls flat. All I hear is static at this point, a broken record going round and round. “Let’s go somewhere quiet to chat about your future. Maybe you’d like to come work at the firm after all? Give this designing business a rest for a bit? Clearly staying here has not been in your best interest,” she says as she wrinkles her nose.
“I can’t believe this.” I swallow several times as my fingers spear into my hair, clutching hard at the roots. “Are you two for real? How about what I want? Do you care about me at all?”
I look between them and find nothing but scrutiny staring back. My face tilts skyward, asking for understanding from them. Hoping beyond hope that the people who raised me are better than this. Even in these moments of extreme distress, neither one reaches for me or offers comfort—not that it really matters since Ryker’s touch is all I want.
How are these my parents?
I shake my head in dismay as they continue quietly staring at me.
“Never mind, don’t bother answering any of that. I’m not going to keep standing here, pointlessly arguing, while the man I love is suffering.” My voice cracks thinking of Ryker walking away. “He’s my priority and always will be moving forward.” My palm shoots out when my father tries piping in. “My time listening to you is over. If you’d like to apologize for the damage you’ve caused, maybe we’ll try talking later.” With that, I’m officially done—at least until they’re ready to change.
As I stride off in the direction Ryker went, realization slams into me and my steps falter. Dammit, I should have known better. I caused all of this to happen. I’m such an idiot for snapping at him that way. All he was doing was trying to protect me and I shut him down. He had my back but I didn’t have his. I’ve let him down in the worst way when we needed to stick together.