by Harloe Rae
What if pouring out the painful history on paper releases festering injuries that refuse to close? What if they linger and ruin my life again?
I twist a lock of Lennon’s long dark hair before announcing, “I'll do it.”
“We can write together. Another first without even planning it. How ‘bout that, huh?” Her silky tone slinks around me. “We’ll beat them all, Ry.”
“Everything is possible because of you, Sunshine.”
“You give me far too much credit.”
“Clearly, I haven’t done a good enough job explaining how terrible my life was without you,” I say while she purses her lips. “Should I start from the beginning?”
Lennon shakes her head. “No, no. We’re good. I’ll accept your praise if you take all mine. Deal?”
“Deal.”
“You’re very agreeable today,” she points out.
I scoff in mock offense.
“Why wouldn’t I be? I’ve got you in bed, promising to be in my life forever. Things aren’t too shabby for me. I’d say they’ll be even better quite soon,” I suggest without giving her more info.
She might have planned an impromptu road trip but I’ve got a secret agenda item to tack on. If Lennon has any idea I’m hiding something, she doesn’t reveal it.
“Should we get going then?”
“Absolutely,” I reply as anticipation attacks my system.
Almost everything was packed and ready to go before camping except for the words that litter this entire room. We spend the morning removing the messages one by one until Lennon has held and read each one. I assure her that a spot in our new loft will be dedicated to the little yellow squares. A dopey smile stretches my lips when I recall her notes to me. Those will definitely have a special place too. I glance over at Lennon, hair piled on top of her head and a flowy short dress covering her succulent curves, and I count my fucking blessings twice.
This girl gets me.
Soon enough we’ve triple checked for any forgotten items, stuffed the truck to the max, and are ready for whatever tonight brings us.
I’m hoping for a yes.
Lennon
Every single one of my firsts belongs to you. I want you to have them all.
“RY, I’M FALLING! Slow down!” Another obnoxious squeal peals from my lips as I flop against his back.
My legs tighten around his waist while I cling to his chest as Ryker continues bounding gleefully through the rowdy fairgrounds. His head turns to me as he laughs loudly.
“Your first piggyback ride is meant to be bumpy and ridiculous. I’d never let you go,” he reassures me while squeezing my bare thighs.
We’ve only been here for an hour but I’m already having the best time. Ryker scarfed down an order of cheese curds while I stuffed my face with cotton candy. We went round and round on the Ferris Wheel, exchanging plenty of heated kisses and teasing touches. The ride ended with both of us extra hot and bothered but the sexual frustration morphed after a few obviously rigged carnival games.
Ryker hops to a stop near the carousel and swings me around to his front. The move is smooth and polished, as if he’s done it a hundred times. Somethings work easily the first try, like us, figuring it out as we go.
“I always knew it would be like this,” I murmur into his ear.
“What would be, Sunshine?”
I sigh softly, the bliss rushing out of me and into him.
“Being here, in love with you. Having a bright future, because of you. Starting a happy life together and having the freedom to choose whatever we want. The list is full of endless possibilities. Do you see it?” I ask after pulling away to stare into his relaxed blue orbs.
“I’ve always seen it, Sunshine,” he mumbles while rubbing our noses together. “Since the very beginning and for the rest of our lives.”
He pushes my back against the chain-link fence near the carousel before dropping his lips to mine, my mouth opens immediately so his tongue can stroke inside. The rainbow of fluorescent bulbs casts an iridescent glow and this moment is magical. My fingers race up his neck to drag against his buzzed hair, the friction from my nails has him moaning into me. I answer by sucking his lip between my teeth, nipping and nibbling the plump flesh. Ryker shoves me harder into the metal behind me just as someone makes a gagging noise.
“Getting a fucking room. We don’t wanna watch that nasty shit,” some stranger shouts at us.
Ryker’s posture stiffens in my arms at the taunting and the lid to my newly discovered temper loosens, ready to lash out at the interruption. These idiots should get an earful from me but I take a deep breath to avoid a fight.
“It’s okay, Ry. They’re just a bunch of assholes,” I reassure him.
He dusts my lips in a scorching kiss before breaking away again.
“I could care less about those losers or what they think. Let them fucking gawk. I’ve got the most gorgeous girl with me, of course they’re jealous.” He smirks against my answering grin, the expressions blending into a radiant display of affection as our lips brush. “What bothers me is them wanting us to hide how we feel. We’ve been locked away far too long already, there’s no going back. I’m ready to show off to anyone willing to look,” he proclaims in a volume meant to be heard.
As more barbs and jeers are tossed at us, he’s able to throw the ridicule away like the worthless words they are. This guy slays me a little more each day. His confidence finally shines through and the sight is truly astounding. Ryker is inspiration personified, a warrior surviving a lifetime of misery, and I’m the one here to witness it.
“Sunshine? Are you alright? Want me to shut those jerks up?” He asks quietly, the concern heavy in his deep voice.
I shake my head and gulp in some fresh air.
“I love you so much, Ry. That’s all.”
“Well, good thing I love you more,” his voice is clear and sure.
Before I can argue, our mouths fuse again. Maybe to prove a point but also because we can’t stop the pull. Lips glide and tongues tangle, never getting enough of the erupting sparks our connection offers.
Ryker jerks away and pants, “Let’s go into the Fun House.”
“Now? But—”
“Trust me, I’m all for exposing our love but certain things are meant just for us.”
Excited tingles spread out from my lower belly. If he’s cool with acting on our building lust, I guess it’s another first to cross off the list.
Ryker laces our fingers before striding off in the direction of the neon painted building offering an array of mazes, mirrors, and wacky wonder. My clammy palm sticks to his but I don’t mind the heat. My mind is caught up on the sensual slide I hope we’ll feeling very soon.
I see Ryker hand the attendant money before murmuring, “Keep everyone else out for at least twenty minutes.”
The guy’s eyes widen as he peeks at the cash, clearly impressed with the amount. “You got it, buddy. Have fun!” He exclaims behind us as we rush into a dark tunnel.
We duck under some low ceilings before weaving through a twisted hallway, chuckling and giggling the entire way. I’m all turned around and couldn’t find the exit if forced but apparently that’s okay for a bit. We stumble into a room where mirrors cover every surface. The reflections stop me in my tracks. All around me, every direction I turn, is us. Red faced, mussed hair, matching grins plastered on our faces, and totally in love. The vision injects me with a direct hit of sentimental goo and suddenly I want some mush with the steamy stuff.
“Why do you love me?” I ask Ryker while turning toward him, no longer staring at our reflection but at the man in front of me.
He hums softly as his ocean waves crash into me.
“I think a better question is why not?”
I give him a sassy eyebrow, reading his obvious excitement but demanding sweet seduction first.
Ryker chuckles before drawing me into his arms.
“Well, for starters you’re super-hot,” he says and I
elbow his side. After an exaggerated oof, he pecks my forehead and continues. “You’re my sunshine, a beam of guiding light in all the shadows. The air that keeps me living, the blood that allows my heart to beat, everything good that’s ever been. You give me purpose where there wasn’t any. Because of you, there’s happiness. You’re the only one who sees me . . .” His voice trails off.
We’re quiet for a few beats and restlessness begins prodding at my spine.
“Don’t you wanna ask me why I love you?” I question softly after tucking my chin.
He takes a step back before clasping my left hand in both of his. “There’s actually something else I want to ask you, Sunshine.” Ryker takes a shuddering breath and my mind whirls with possibilities. “I know there’s a lot to be done that won’t happen overnight. I’m a work in progress, but I’m yours. I’m your weirdo and you’re my goofball, we make sense together. Maybe we’re not normal or typical by average standards, definitely not perfect, but I’d rather be different with you regardless. Fuck fitting in and screw everyone against us. We’ll fight on the same side, all day and night. I’ll be your team, just us two against the world,” he whispers before wiping the tears from my cheeks. I’m crying uncontrollably but can still see him clearly, the words from his mouth ring loudly in my ears. “Thank you for loving me, Lennon,” he utters quietly before kissing my wrist.
Ryker drops to one knee and a gasp escapes me without warning but the shocked sound is expected. Shiny beams cast off the reflective surfaces, attempting to draw my gaze away but I’m locked on his glittering eyes. His grandest gesture of love is being displayed all around us by this house of mirrors, but all I see is Ryker in front of me.
“We don’t have to get married tomorrow or the next day but sometime. For now, just wear my ring and promise to love me always. Will you trade your name for mine and marry me, Sunshine?” Ryker asks with tears streaking down his face. He opens a small velvet box and the contents make me dizzy.
“Ryker! Is that a—”
“Sun? Yes,” he cuts in smoothly. “I had it custom made, just for you. It’s as unique and different as we are. Will you be my sunshine forever?”
I’m already nodding but shout yes several times for good measure. Ryker slips the ring over my knuckle, the blazing yellow diamond winking at me as it nestles on top of my finger. The brilliant center rock is surrounded by swirling and swooping rows encrusted with smaller clear stones, mimicking the sun with flames surrounding it. The countless gems sparkle in the mirrors, twinkling like real stars, but we’re not paying attention.
My eyes bounce between my fiancé and the symbol of our future while his never waver from me. Ryker’s hands cup my jaw before tilting my face to him. His thumbs swipe under my eyes before he melts my soul a bit more.
“So much blue looking back at me,” he informs before blessing me with a searing kiss, locking us together in more ways than one.
Ryker
I've lived a life of mayhem and destruction, a chaotic tornado sent to ruin. Everyone knew to steer clear, and give me plenty of space to pass in a flurry, except Lennon. Beyond reason and control, she approached the storm with a smile on her face.
~ Four Months Later~
MY FINGERS PAUSE on the keyboard as the smell of fresh cookies wafts into the studio. I eagerly inhale the sugary scent, my lids sliding shut as the chocolate goodness soaks into me.
Darla, the owner of Betcha Buns, must be baking up a storm for the annual Frozen Days celebration. I’ve developed quite the sweet tooth thanks to her decadent desserts. Probably doesn’t hurt that the bakery is next door.
I glance out the window and watch the bustling activity buzzing along Main Street. It seems like everyone in town is flooding the sidewalks for the upcoming holiday season. I smile as the vibrant joy spreads through the air.
Denten was a good choice for us.
An upbeat tune from the radio pulls my focus from the people milling by. My eyes land on my future wife as she shimmies her hips while securing fabric to the dress form. Lennon’s glossy brown hair whips around with her movements and I’m hypnotized by the flowing waves.
She’s so beautiful.
It’s a shame to interrupt her dancing but she’ll be shaking her butt again in no time.
“Sunny?”
Her aqua orbs lift to me as she mumbles, “Hmmm?”
“You’re adorable,” I chuckle as she struggles to speak around a mouthful of pins.
Lennon winks while pulling them from her lips. “What’s up, Ry?”
“There’s a ton of people out there,” I say while gesturing outside. “Still ready to open tomorrow?”
Her features light up with a huge grin. “It’s going to be perfect. This is the ideal time of year to start selling directly from the shop. Best idea yet.”
“We make a great team.”
“That we do, Ry.”
The low hum from the sewing machine kicks in as Lennon sits at her desk. The yellow notes I gave her this morning are stuck on top of her work station, right where she can read them while finishing final touches.
I’m so proud of you, Sunny.
You’re so brilliant and talented and tomorrow the town will finally get to see what I’ve known all along.
I love you. I love you. I love you.
A happy sigh escapes me while recalling the stunning joy covering her features. Each time I give her a yellow square, it seems like the first time. She loves those little pieces of paper and her reaction always chokes me up.
I clear the emotion from my throat. “Pretty soon everyone in Denten will be wearing Len’s Looks. This town is practically begging for more clothing store options. The grand opening will be intense,” I murmur with nervous energy skittering under my skin.
This is a huge opportunity for Lennon, for us, but a herd of people trampling into our sanctuary freaks me out.
As if hearing my internal struggle, she laughs lightly, “But not too crazy. We’ll just play it by ear. If by some wild chance a crowd forms, we can call Darla for backup.”
The tension bubbling within me evaporates with a chuckle. “She’d love that. Pretty sure she’ll be over here the entire day regardless.”
“Speaking of, have you talked to her about the cake samples?”
“Not yet. I’ve been waiting until her coconut frosting arrived. You know that’s my favorite flavor,” my voice rasps.
Lennon’s cheeks flush and she giggles softly. “You’re so romantic.”
“Damn straight. Need an extra hand over there?”
She holds up her palm. “I’ve gotta finish these two dresses. You need to talk to Darla. Once she catches wind of our approximate wedding date, she’ll want to start planning.”
“No doubt about that,” I sigh and picture Darla’s glee. That woman has become like a mother to me and will surely go way over the top with this project. The upcoming months flicker through my mind and excitement unfurls in my gut. Lennon is going to look stunning in all white.
“There hasn’t been much typing going on over there, Mister Doxson.” Lennon’s melodic tone breaks me from my thoughts.
“Too busy thinking of you, Soon-To-Be Missus Doxson.” I shoot her a smirk.
Her blue-green eyes peek up at me from behind the sewing machine, the project laid out in front of her temporarily forgotten. A pink hue paints her face and my chest puffs wide knowing I’ve made her blush twice already.
She bites her lip before muttering, “Such a sweet talker.”
“You know it, Sunshine. Getting hungry? Wanna visit Darla with me?” I suggest while rubbing my stomach, picturing the yummy goodness she’ll have waiting next door.
Her head bobbles back and forth. “Let me finish this row of stitches quick. Maybe we can wander down to Sally’s for some hot coco after?”
“Extra marshmallows?”
“Obviously,” she scoffs.
“That’s the good stuff.”
Lennon snickers while adjusting her grip on
the colorful material. “I’ll show you some great stuff later.”
“Tease,” I call out and she winks wickedly before blowing me a kiss.
This is our new routine, working together at Len’s Looks during the day and snuggling upstairs all night.
What could be better?
Maybe sharing a last name but I’m not pushing the subject. We aren’t in a huge hurry to get married—I’m more than happy to have her wear my ring. I’ve got something extra special in the works for after we’re husband and wife though.
Her sunshine diamond glitters from the light pouring through the front windows as she feeds the machine more detailed fabric. I believe this piece includes lyrics from her favorite song written out in binary code. The seams are decorated with lines of the computer language many in the fashion world don’t understand. To them, the pattern of numbers and the occasional letter looks like nonsense. A jumble of undefined meaning, scrambled beyond reason, but it looks cool as hell.
That’s what sets apart the Seeking Sunshine collection, the designs are uniquely ours. We’ve collaborated to build a brand that incorporates both of us.
The clothes are being sent out into the world but only we know the love story written into the designs. My eyes sweep the room, checking out the array of merchandise, as pride swells within my chest.
The shirt draped over a dress form includes a few lines from my proposal that’s been encrypted as a string of green code. The number sequence loops around the bottom half of the blue material is an elegant swirl. The rack of dresses in the corner include words describing several firsts we’ve experienced. The code loops around the neckline, traces down the zipper, and ends around the hem. There’s a pile of yellow tank tops folded on the table that have messages from her favorite sticky notes. Every piece is different, exactly how she wanted them.
All of our sales come from online but that’s about to change when we open the doors to local customers. I’m confident news will spread of the diverse styles Lennon’s magical fingers create. The hidden messages we’ve included gives the collection an added edge that people will want to wear.
So far, business is booming and all her dreams are really coming true.