by Greta Milán
Looking at his aunt uncomprehendingly, he said, “But I like him. I want him to come.”
Julie shuffled nervously from foot to foot and smiled apologetically at Bastian.
“Grandpa said I could bring a friend with me, but Jacob can’t come,” insisted Luke. He bore such a resemblance to his aunt as he spoke that Bastian could hardly conceal his smile. “We could play football together,” he said to Bastian, as though he could never refuse such an invitation.
Bastian looked at Julie. He could see that she found the situation uncomfortable, which reminded him abruptly of the facts. At the end of the day, this was a family party. Although Bastian had no idea exactly how Julie’s father intended to celebrate his birthday—as he had never himself attended such an event—he knew that family parties were occasions for close friends and relatives.
And that didn’t include him.
Ignoring the knot in his stomach, he frantically sought a reply that would satisfy Luke without actually lying to the boy.
“Bastian will probably have to work,” said Julie finally, attempting to bring the discussion to a close. Her tone was gentle, sensitive—and regretful.
“Over the weekend?” Luke asked. He gave Bastian a disapproving look that was remarkably worldly-wise for his age. “You’re just as bad as Dad,” he grumbled, but to Bastian’s amazement, he dropped the subject.
After watching the apes and laughing at the way the younger ones made life difficult for their elders, they moved on. Looking back, Bastian realized he’d never had a day like it—not only because Julie now knew about him, but also because her exuberance and Luke’s made it easier for him to free himself from his own inhibitions and fears.
For the first time in his life, his disease receded into the background and he was simply a man spending the day with two wonderful people.
CHAPTER 12
It was already twilight when Julie and Bastian dropped Luke off at home. At the gate, Luke gave Bastian a high five, then stretched up to give Julie a kiss on the cheek. “See you next week,” he called out before turning and running up the flagstone path to the front door.
Julie saw her sister standing at the window. She gave Jo a cheerful wave, well aware that Jo wanted to have a look at Julie’s last-minute companion since Jo had missed him earlier that day.
Relieved that the door had been answered by her brother-in-law, Max—who had no great interest in the men in Julie’s life—she had introduced Bastian briefly, grabbed Luke, and left.
Jo gestured for Julie and Bastian to come in, but Julie shook her head. Jo looked disappointed, but then held up her hand to her ear to indicate that her sister should give her a call. Julie nodded, knowing that her inquisitive sister would be impatient to hear chapter and verse on Bastian. But she didn’t want to think about that now; after all, she still didn’t know herself how things stood between them.
She had been strongly attracted to him ever since meeting him at the opening. After getting to know him a little better, she knew for certain that there was a sensitive man behind his cool facade. She considered his mercurial moods to be a symptom of his inner conflict, and she didn’t hold it against him. She could hardly imagine being constantly confronted with pain and discrimination. Since telling her about his disease that afternoon, something seemed to have been released in him. He appeared less tense, laughed more, and looked almost relaxed.
On the way home, they stopped at a small bistro and shared a pizza. Though it couldn’t strictly speaking be considered a date, Julie was unable to shake the impression that the atmosphere between them was becoming increasingly charged. While Luke had been around, their interactions had been friendly and platonic in nature, but that had changed. Her body reacted instinctively to the attractive man sitting across from her, and she allowed his gaze to wander over her admiringly.
Bastian walked Julie home. Once they were inside the building, he followed her down the corridor, but then stopped with a frown outside her door. It appeared to bother him that he had followed her up without thinking.
“Do you want to come in?” asked Julie as she opened the door.
He regarded her uncertainly. “Julie, all I can offer you is friendship.”
Julie bit her lip tensely. “And if that’s not enough for me?”
Bastian stared at her imploringly.
“You know what?” she said. “I see things differently.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re upsetting me,” she said coolly, straightening her shoulders. “Not because of your disease, but because you let yourself be controlled by it.” She began to tremble with frustration. “And I’ll tell you something else,” she burst out, stepping closer to him and giving him an enraged stare, “I most certainly am your type!”
He let out a pained sigh, then suddenly moved toward her with such a desperate intensity that Julie let out a surprised gasp. He pressed his lips to hers with such force that his breath rushed into her lungs. His kiss was hard, greedy, demanding. Hers no less so.
She threw her arm around his neck and ran her fingers through his dark hair as his hands moved up and down her back. Their bodies pressed close as they succumbed to the heat of the moment.
Bastian released himself from her grasp, rested his forehead on hers, and looked deep into her dark eyes. “Yes,” he whispered. “You are.”
Julie smiled, then they lost themselves once more in a kiss, which soon became a promise of something more. The automatic corridor lighting went out with a quiet click, but they took no notice.
In the darkness that enveloped them, Julie drew her arm more tightly around Bastian and led him gently but resolutely into her apartment. She leaned back against the wall as Bastian continued to kiss her. She felt herself wrapped in his warmth, inside and out. In his arms, she felt infinitely more fragile than he was.
She had no idea how long they stood there, utterly intoxicated by each other. She knew only one thing: she wanted more. Her hands slid impatiently beneath his jacket. At her touch, he started almost imperceptibly, but she slid his jacket from his shoulders and let it fall to the floor. She buried her nose in his neck, breathed in his scent, and let out a contented sigh.
As she laid her lips once again on his, she started to guide him across the entryway into her bedroom. Bastian deftly removed her cardigan on the way.
They stumbled, laughing, through the darkened room until Julie finally dragged him down with her onto her bed. He followed only too willingly. Not wanting to crush Julie beneath his weight, he sank down beside her. He ran his hands over the contours of her body, but his gloves dulled the sensation for both of them. She was unable to feel him as she really wanted to, skin on skin.
Mustering all her strength, she drew back. “Wait a moment,” she said softly and leaned back to switch on a small bedside lamp.
Bastian blinked in the dim light. A groan of frustration escaped him, but Julie took no notice.
“I want to see you,” she declared, smiling at him so guilelessly that his displeasure faded. Spellbound, he raised a hand to her cheek. The leather felt cool on her hot face.
Julie took his hand and gently tugged at his left index finger to loosen the glove, closely watching his expression as she did so. Bastian tensed up but nodded as she removed first one glove, then the other.
Though his hands were no less disfigured than the first time she’d seen them, Julie was completely undeterred. She briefly checked that he had no wounds that could hurt under her touch, but the only place she noticed was bandaged over. She gently moved his hand back to her face and nestled into it. His hand was warm, strong, and covered with hard, uneven calluses. As his thumb stroked her cheek, she smiled.
His green eyes widened in wonder. He seemed almost reverential toward her. For the first time since she had led him into her bedroom, she felt uneasy. She had simply abandoned herself to her desires, but now she wondered a
t what price. She suddenly felt compelled to take a step back.
“I just want to make something clear,” she said, embarrassed. “I don’t make a habit of inviting men in unless I’ve known them for some time. Certainly not to my bed.”
The corners of Bastian’s mouth twitched. “I’m glad to hear it.”
“I don’t want to sleep with you tonight,” she said decisively, but suddenly paused. He had told her that friction could lead to wounding. “I mean, if that’s even possible,” she added uncertainly.
Bastian lowered his hand. “I’ve been with a few women in my time,” he said. “In my case I’m happy to report that there’s nothing in particular you have to be aware of.” He raised an eyebrow. “Unless you’re into S and M. That might be a problem,” he said drily.
A surge of relief flowed through Julie. “I think you can consider yourself safe on that count,” she giggled and kissed the back of his hand. He swallowed hard but didn’t flinch. “Even so, I still don’t want to go all the way tonight.”
Bastian gave a pained sigh. “That’s too bad.”
Julie laughed and snuggled back into him. She laid her head on his upper arm with her face turned to him. “But stay here anyway,” she whispered. “Just for a while.”
He nodded, sealing his promise with a tender kiss. Julie felt his afflicted hands wandering across the fabric of her soft T-shirt and stiff jeans. His thumbs slid beneath her top and gently stroked her skin. She broke out in goose bumps and gasped with pleasure.
“Do you want a glass of wine?” she asked quickly, trying to remain true to her good intentions.
“I’d love one,” he replied equally quickly.
Julie struggled up from the bed. At the door she paused and gazed at him with an amused smile. “Go ahead and make yourself a bit more comfortable. You’ve still got your shoes on.”
An embarrassed smile spread across his face. She saw no trace of the arrogant man she had first met. She ran into her kitchen and grabbed a bottle of red wine and two glasses from the cupboard.
The phone started ringing in the background, but she ignored it. She wanted to be back in Bastian’s arms. Her answering machine clicked, and Jo’s voice sounded down the corridor. “Hey, Sis. If you’re not answering your phone that must mean you’re busy with far more important things. I really hope you’ll give this dream of a man priority over Mother’s matchmaking where the great birthday party is concerned. Speaking of which, I found out who your intended escort is, and I’d love to swap places with you,” she sighed effusively. “Anyway, I’ve got one or two bits of news, and besides, I’m bursting with curiosity. Call me. Love you.”
Julie gave a frustrated sigh. She was sure Bastian must have heard every word of Jo’s message. She could hardly imagine what must be going through his head. It contained too much information to simply be ignored. She feverishly considered how she could explain the matter of her dinner escort as neutrally as possible. The architect was not her choice, and there was still time to tell her mother that she’d be bringing her own companion. Having Bastian by her side would certainly make the party a little more bearable.
She would just ask him if he wanted to go with her, but if she sensed that he thought things were moving too fast, she wouldn’t put pressure on him—she knew from experience the effect that could have on him, and she wasn’t about to do it to him again. After all, they’d only known each other for a short time and only kissed for the first time a few minutes ago. The decision to introduce someone to the family was not one to make lightly, and Bastian would also have to face up to the challenge of her mother and she was . . . well . . . she was how she was. If he didn’t want to go, she would accept it, but she would at least ask him.
She returned resolutely to her bedroom and peeked through the door. Bastian had propped a cushion behind his back and was relaxing on her bed, with Spot purring on his lap. He was gently stroking the small cat’s fur, and her eyes were half-closed with delight. He looked so fascinated that it struck her that this might be the first time he had ever felt an animal’s soft fur with his bare hands. In the muted light of the bedside lamp, his scarred hands cast sharp shadows on Spot’s white fur. The sight of this contrast made her feel weak inside.
So many scars. So much pain.
And yet she couldn’t stop herself from watching him in total wonder.
Sensing her presence, he looked up. His expression wasn’t cold, but guarded. He must have heard what Jo said.
“I hope you like red wine,” said Julie nervously, approaching the bed slowly. “If she likes someone, she can be very affectionate.” Julie looked at her cat with a smile. She opened the wine, filled the two glasses, and put them down on the bedside table. Then she sat cross-legged across from Bastian on the bed and braced herself for the coming conversation.
He was silent for a moment. “She’s incredibly trusting,” he remarked eventually, his attention focused on Spot.
“She knows what she wants,” said Julie with a smile, tickling Spot behind the ear. “But she’s a very special cat, that’s for sure.”
“What’s she called?”
“Spot.”
Bastian smiled.
“I know it’s not a very elegant name, but it suits her.” She indicated the black spot between the cat’s ears with a grin.
“Where did you get her?” he asked.
She looked at him thoughtfully. Could it be that he hadn’t heard Jo’s message after all? Or did he simply not want to talk about it?
“From a rescue center,” she replied. “She actually belongs to Luke. He had his heart set on having a pet, but it turned out Max is allergic to animals, so we decided she could stay here.”
“That’s very generous of you.”
“Well, I thought a bit of company would be nice. A dog’s out of the question in this small apartment, and I find fish boring.”
“You’d have preferred a dog?”
“No, I think I’m more of a cat person. What about you?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” The smile playing at the corners of his mouth said it all.
At a loss for words, Julie sipped her wine and licked her lips. As she noticed him gazing at her mouth, a pure surge of desire coursed through her body. The intensity of her longing still nagged at her. It wasn’t that her last relationship had been a few months ago and that her dormant desire had been fully awakened by his presence—at least, that wasn’t the only thing. It was simply that she instinctively longed to feel closer to him. Judging by the gleam in his eye, he felt the same way.
“Why is green your favorite color?” he asked suddenly.
“What makes you think that?”
“Everything around here is green. The walls, most of your scarves, the cardigan you wore today . . .”
She swallowed her surprise at his perceptiveness. “I like it because it’s so full of life.” She studied him inquisitively. “What’s your favorite color?”
“White.”
“That’s not a color,” she protested with a smile. “Technically speaking, at least. Even if it is, white’s viewed as an achromatic color, or so Isabelle tells me.”
Bastian’s lips twitched. “An achromatic color is still a color.”
“Touché.” Julie acknowledged defeat and took a sip of her wine.
Bastian rubbed his hand over his chin, and she hoped he’d bring the conversation around to more serious matters. But he didn’t. Instead he asked what her favorite sound was. She wasn’t sure why he wanted to know all these trivial details about her, but since he’d answered her questions so readily that afternoon, it seemed only fair that she should return the favor.
As he lowered his hand, she reached eagerly for it and began to play with his fingers. She felt out the fine irregularities of his skin, tracing the sensitive scars and hard edges of his fingertips. At first, he seemed uncomfortable
with it, but she deliberately ignored his reaction, and eventually, his hand relaxed in hers. He continued firing an endless succession of questions at her. The best books she’d ever read. The ancient wonders of the world she’d most like to see. The famous person she’d most like to meet. The craziest thing she’d ever done. The songs she could listen to again and again. Finally, his thirst for knowledge appeared to be sated.
Carefully, Bastian removed Spot, who had fallen asleep, from his lap and set her down next to him. “Come here,” he said to Julie.
She leaned forward, entranced. She was fleetingly disappointed—she too had questions, and there were so many things they hadn’t talked about—but his look told her that they had talked enough, and the kiss he placed on her lips told her all she needed to know.
CHAPTER 13
Bastian snapped awake at the sound of his cell phone pinging. He looked around in bewilderment. Rays of sunshine penetrated the drawn curtains of Julie’s room and bathed the room in a hazy, cozy light.
He was lying on his side with a blanket over him. Julie was asleep, nestled next to him, and his arm was around her. He lifted his head slightly and saw that the warm weight on his feet was Spot, who lay curled up between them.
Julie’s face had a look of childish innocence, and her dark hair cascaded over her shoulders. As he bent forward to inhale the scent of her hair, his lips moved gently over her neck until he found the sensitive spot behind her ear.
He had not intended to stay the night, but his eyes must have closed at some point. He frowned. It was the first time he had ever shared a bed with a woman without sleeping with her. To his dismay, he had to admit that it pleased the coward in him, even though his desire for her at the moment was almost irresistible.
She stretched, sighing, and snuggled up closer to him. Her backside brushed against his hip, and he gasped softly. He would have loved to seduce her right then, uncompromisingly and impetuously, but their circumstances had changed with the breaking dawn, and he was not ready to venture into this unfamiliar territory. Not even for her.